Can you tell jokes?

Of course you can. Here are eight jokes.

1.

When I was a sophomore, my teacher once rewarded us with studying a movie at night. I remember a while ago, in the movie, the hero called dad, and the students showed off and shouted excitedly: Here we are. The hero of the movie said calmly, "Please close your eyes, and I will avenge you." The class watched her leave with 46 pairs of eyes.

2.

I went to the boss to apply for compensatory time off. As soon as I entered the office, I heard a colleague say, "Well, I'll take tomorrow off."

I quickly said, "I will have a rest tomorrow, too."

The boss paused and said, "well, you two will be together tomorrow, so that the toilet can be repaired. If it is not repaired, it will be replaced."

3.

A colleague lost 10 when he went out, and he was unhappy when he came back. I: Just 10 yuan. As for it, you can't buy a car or a house. Colleague: Buying rat poison is enough to poison you several times! Me: ...

4.

The neighbor next door kept a chihuahua, and the dog disappeared that day. He came to my house and found our house crying while eating dog meat. This is a tragedy! I said, can your dog cook this cauldron? She smiled. Then she sat down, too, and said there was less pepper.

5.

Watching TV and spy drama upstairs. My five-year-old niece came in eating jelly and sat down to watch it together. After eating bean jelly, she suddenly said to me, uncle, I will kneel down for you!

I was shocked and asked her, what's the matter?

My niece said, I want to watch cartoons. Me. . . . .

6.

Today, when I wandered around the pedestrian street and walked to a door, I seldom saw two foreigners quarreling, as if they were French. There are more and more people watching, and the more noisy and fierce they are, the more they will start work. Suddenly, an aunt's voice shouted in the crowd, "Can you two talk on the phone?" I can convince you if I understand! "Onlookers laughed at once.

7.

My husband came back from his classmate's wedding and sat on the sofa, looking very unhappy. He asked, what's wrong?

Husband; Don't mention it. When the bride makes a toast, when the other people and the groom introduce me, they all call my brother and sister hello. It's no use introducing me. Directly calling his uncle also turned to complain about how to arrange the elders to sit at the classmate's table!

8.

There is a new girl in the company, a little introverted. At the meeting, the leader specifically named her to be a little more relaxed and treat everyone as one of their own. So when I got off work, I saw her walking behind the leader and said, see you tomorrow! While slapping his ass. The leader touched his ass and looked stupid. ...