Junior high school humorous jokes

Humor is the lubricant of life. It can not only make interpersonal relationships easier, but also make them more pleasant. So how many junior high school humorous jokes do you know? Below I have collected some junior high school humorous jokes for you, let’s take a look.

Selection of humorous jokes in junior high schools

1) Composition In class, the teacher asked the primary school students to write a composition titled "My Dog", which must be no less than one word. Little Tommy thought for a while and began to write: "I have a dog. I call him Bobby." I like this dog. It is all black except for its head and neck. Tommy stopped writing and counted the words. The number of words was still far away. He scratched his scalp, thought for a few minutes, and continued to write: "I take Bobby for a walk in the park every day. When it rains, I won't take him out." ?He looked at it and found that the number of words was still far from enough. He sighed and wrote again: ?I often give Bobby a bath. It likes to take a bath, and I also like to give it a bath. ? He stopped writing and counted the words. He was so anxious that he scratched his scalp and looked at the ceiling and the blackboard. After thinking about it, he continued to write: ?Bobby likes to eat sweets. I often feed him sweets, but sometimes there is no sugar at home, so I don’t give it to him

　2) ..... .Everyone knows that wearing headphones makes the sound louder, but they don’t know it. Once in an English class, the teacher asked everyone to study by themselves after the lecture. One of my classmates put on headphones to listen to music (of course, this is not allowed). In order not to let the teacher see it, he asked the classmate next to him to look out and said very loudly: The teacher came over and called me!! Then the teacher heard the sound and asked him: What's going on?

3) When I was in junior high school, I was the class monitor. Once in geography class, the teacher stopped the class and I was paying attention. Novel, I don’t care whether class is in class or after class. A classmate next to me complained to myself: "get out of class is over, I thought it was over, so I shouted "Stand up", and it became quiet for a while. I felt all eyes focused on me, teacher. Xiaoxiao said: "You are going to rebel. Suddenly everyone burst into laughter. I am blushing..."

　4) We are going to do a huge group dance at the art festival? We need to be quick After a few days of practice, everyone couldn't stand the violent and difficult movements such as falling down and raising their legs high. Some were covered in bruises and some had muscle strains. My right leg was seriously injured and I couldn't control it at all! Today When I went to class on the third floor, my God, I was literally lifting my right leg up one step at a time. The most annoying thing was that while I was walking, I heard two girls behind me muttering in a low voice: "It's still too big." Schools in cities are more formal, but in our hometown, people with polio cannot go to school at all!! ?

5) There is a student at the University of Science and Technology who is about to graduate from his senior year and still has no job or girlfriend. So. , he went to tell fortunes. ?You will remain in poverty until you are forty years old. After hearing this, the student's eyes brightened, and he thought there would be a change, so he asked: ?Then you will get used to this kind of life

6) College students always like new and exciting things. For example, when playing cards, the loser has to shout "I am a pig" or hug the telephone pole and shout "My disease is cured". You see, most people in Shantou are creative. Playing cards, whoever loses has to go up the mountain alone at midnight to copy the inscriptions on ten tombstones! The most terrible thing is that the next morning everyone goes up the mountain together to find the tombstones to proofread!! As a result, after one semester, I have not memorized many English words. I can memorize the inscriptions on the back mountain very well. More importantly, everyone’s literature and calligraphy skills have been greatly improved. Many people have even learned to use small seal script to make signatures?

7) High School Politics Class Go up, teacher: Zhang San Li Si Wang Mazi, these people came from the corner of the back row: Three people. Fight for the beauty in college!

8) There are often people in college dormitories at night. Students talked about their ideal partners at night. On a summer night, the air was extremely hot and stuffy, and a boy in the boys' dormitory couldn't sleep. He talked about his requirements for his future girlfriend. Xiao Yang had a cheerful personality and was very popular with girls. A handsome young man from the city, he said with great satisfaction: "For me, I just want to find someone who is 1.6 meters tall, slender, and good-looking."

?Xiao Wu is not very handsome, but he is the president of the school's literary club. He said slowly: ?I don't have high requirements for my girlfriend. As long as she matches me, has a gentle personality, and has beautiful long hair. Just send it. Xiao Wang is not very talented and not handsome enough, but he is good at flattering people. He sighed and said: "Oh, I have the lowest requirements for my girlfriend, as long as she does not affect the appearance of the city." ?......

9) There is a male classmate in the class who wants to ask for it because his friend owes him fifty yuan, but due to the relationship between friends, he does not know how to ask, so I plan to tell him by writing a letter. But after thinking about it for a long time, I still didn’t know what to say, so I came to ask me. Later, I suggested that it would be faster for him to say it directly. He felt it was inappropriate, so he decided to write a note to say it. I almost fell over laughing when I saw the note written by that classmate. The content was as follows: Brother Li, I miss you so much in the future. I don’t know how you are doing these days! Look! The weather is sunny today, the autumn air is crisp, and the flowers are in full bloom. , fighting for beauty. The white clouds are drifting in the wind, the warm sunshine reflects the earth, the green grass is like flowers and willows, the mountains and rivers are beautiful, the floating light is golden, the silent shadows are sinking on the wall, the bright moon is thousands of miles away, the spring and autumn scenery is bright, and the heart is relaxed...

10) College lovers know that everyone has this hatred, and poor and humble couples suffer from everything. A freshman girl from the Yang family has a daughter who has grown up and is raised in a boudoir, unknown to anyone. A sophomore girl has a harem of three thousand beauties, and three thousand people pamper her. For junior girls, the flowers have bloomed and they need to be cut off, so don’t wait until there are no flowers to break off the branches! For senior girls, there is not much autumn left, and the lotuses and willows have long since faded. The first-year boy straightened the brim of his hat, tilted his head, and once nodded towards the end of the world. The sophomore boy has the feelings of Song Yu and is very slim and slim. At that time, a junior boy fucked me as a flower appreciator, but now I don’t have half of them. The senior boys advise you not to be a sober person, as you should be drunk among the flowers. The online lover came out after calling her for a long time, still half-hiding her face with her pipa in her arms. If my ex-girlfriend abandons me, I can’t keep yesterday’s day. If my ex-girlfriend abandons me, I will be troubled today. ......

11) I am so handsome that the girls in the next class always look at me in class. I picked up a dollar and searched for the policeman for a whole day. I ran out of toilet paper, so I had to sit in the toilet and wait for my mother. I was unhappy after work today. I didn’t want to go to class. When I was crossing the street, I accidentally hit a car and flew away. I’ve been looking for that car all day. My deskmate refused to talk to me. I gave a red scarf to cross the street and was hit by a train. I was hit by an alien. We are attacking the earth, and I am sewing Superman’s trousers

12) If you don’t do anything, you will be sorry for your conscience. Teachers provide an excellent environment. My neck was sore when I stretched it out and shook it and accidentally meowed. Check to see if the classmate sitting next to you has written his class name and seat number to avoid points being deducted. If you cheat, you need any reason to cheat. Because the weather is nice today. I'm in a very good mood today, so I'll give it a try. My classmate has already sent me the answer. I'm sorry if I don't copy it. I'm afraid my classmates won't be able to write, so I'll give them a chance to educate them. Train yourself to read the small print quickly. Test vision. It won't cause constipation. Enhanced auxiliary memory capabilities. Practice writing. Train for instant explosive power. The teacher teaches badly and forces students to cheat! (So if a student cheats, the teacher has to review it!...

13) Physics Department Male: We have been in love for half a year now, can we be considered passionately in love? Female: It doesn’t count. Man: Why, isn’t this heat enough? Woman: Not enough, there’s still one burn left.

14) Don’t explain in front of me, because explaining is covering up, covering up is being dishonest, and being dishonest means that you need to deal with it.

15) "One time, a classmate fell asleep. It was okay at first, but a classmate had a problem with him and snored for him, so the sleeping classmate was caught."

Classic junior high school humorous jokes

1. In the composition class, the teacher asked each student to use the simplest sentences to describe his or her own characteristics. A classmate with acne on his face wrote: "One wave is not over, but another wave is coming up."

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2. One day Xiao Ming told Xiao Hua a story. Xiao Ming: This story is divided into 4 paragraphs. The first paragraph is... My husband told his wife that I will give 10,000 yuan to your wife in one month. Okay, but after a month, the husband only took 8,000 yuan, so the wife said there was still 2,000 yuan left? The husband slapped his wife and said: I am making the money, why are you arguing? Continuing with Xiao Ming’s second paragraph, one day my husband Wanting to eat steamed fish, my wife cooked braised fish instead, so her husband asked me why there was no steamed fish? My wife slapped her husband and said: I am cooking the food. What are you arguing about? Xiao Ming: Next is the fourth paragraph. Xiao Hua: Then the third paragraph Where's the paragraph? Xiao Ming slapped Xiao Hua and said: I'm telling you the story. Why are you arguing? Vote for me.

3. In the future tense grammar class of "love", the teacher was teaching the verbs tense. He asked Eileen: "Tell me, what is the future tense of "love"? Eileen asked without hesitation: "Marriage!"

4. Class A: "Why do ducks usually use one foot? Stand?" Class B: "Because it knows that if it retracts its other foot, it will fall."

5. The first-grade primary school students were listless in class. The teacher reminded everyone: "Please take out the Come on! So the students began to dig through their schoolbags. Finally, a student raised his hand and asked: Teacher, which one is the spirit?

6. I have a dream: a test paper only has 5 A fill-in-the-blank question, school ____ subject ____ class ____ name ____ student number ____, 20 points for each blank ~ I don’t have high requirements, just pass.

7. The teacher asked: Can we answer the questions by calling them by name? The students all said: "Not good". So the teacher asked the girl: "Is the boy okay?" Then he asked the boys: "Is it okay to ask girls? Don't we all agree?" In the advanced mathematics class, the teacher was writing fast on the blackboard, and there was a commotion underneath. The teacher couldn't bear it: classmates, lower your voices! A buddy said: Teacher, take your time. You'll get used to it! Teacher faint! The whole high school must wear uniforms. One repeat student never wears it. The teacher in charge of this aspect squats at the door every day to check. One day. The teacher saw that this student was not wearing school uniform. Ask him why he doesn't wear it. This classmate was furious and said: My mother is not dead. Why do we need to wear mourning clothes? The teacher is sweating to death. One of my brothers was in an advanced mathematics class. The teacher asked: Calculus is a very useful subject. What is our goal in learning calculus? My brother: No cavities! In a Chinese class, the teacher said: In fact, weasels do not eat Chicken, that's what scientists found through experiments...

8. "span style=""font-size: medium""gt; The first class in the afternoon is a history class. The teacher was talking enthusiastically in class, but a classmate nicknamed "San Mao" fell asleep on the desk. The teacher was very angry and called San Mao up. "Tell me, Wang." What do An Shi and Ouyang Xiu have in common? Sanmao blurted out: "They are both from the Song Dynasty." The teacher then asked: "Tell me, what do they have in common with Tang Taizong and Zhuge Liang?" Sanmao was stunned. , replied: "They are all ancient people." There was a burst of laughter in the class, and the teacher just made mistakes and played it as a game, which can also liven up the classroom atmosphere. So he asked: "Then they are related to Sun Yat-sen and Lu Xun." Are they the same? Sanmao thought for a while and said: "They are all men." The teacher then asked..."

9. Teacher: "What is the biggest thing in the world?" Student: " eyelid. ?Teacher: ?Why? Student: ?As long as you close your eyes, the whole world is covered. ?

10. Tommy: Teacher, Rabin just scolded me, let me go to the devil. ?Teacher: ?So, what did you do? Tommy: ?I came right here, teacher. ?Teacher:

11. Xiao Ming walked to the physical education teacher and said: ?Teacher Wang, from today on I will never play football again.

Teacher Wang felt very strange: "Playing football is a useful sports activity. Why don't you participate?" Xiao Ming said: "I heard on the radio today that playing football is an irresponsible behavior." ?

12. A teacher from a school praised the master highly that his son was smart and literate, and could be used as a reading companion for the master’s son. The master said: "Very good!" The teacher came home and said to his son: "Tomorrow I will take you to school. In front of the master, I praised you for being smart, just because you are stupid by nature and don't know a word." ?So, he wrote the words "quilt, rice, and father" and asked his son to memorize it so he could answer it. When he arrived at the school, the master asked him several words one after another, but his son didn't recognize any of them. The teacher said: "The child is afraid of strangers. If you ask him to write a few more words, he will know them." ?So I wrote the word ?BE? for him to recognize, but his son was also at a loss. The teacher said: What is the cover on your bed? The son replied:...

13. Smart? Teacher, why are you bald? This is called extremely smart. ?Then I might as well shave my hair. ?That’s called being smart. ?In the store, Xiaogang stepped on the foot of an international student. The foreigner held it in for a long time before saying in Chinese: "Put your foot on my foot, and use force." The trainer comforted the defeated boxer and said, "It doesn't matter. In the third round, you scared him too." ?He was also afraid of me. He thought he had beaten you to death. ?Removing the belt: The mother took her four-year-old child to the supermarket for shopping. After entering the store, she took off the child's belt. The salesperson asked strangely why this was happening? My mother replied: He was busy lifting his pants with both hands, so he couldn’t grab things everywhere...

14. Welcome to the beginning of the new semester, our senior class Students go to the station to greet their new classmates. I saw a little girl standing next to a big box at a loss, so I took the initiative to help her lift the box. Unexpectedly, the box weighed more than 1,000 kilograms, and I was too embarrassed to put it down, so I had to try my best to support it. After only a few steps, the girl said to me: If you can't carry it anymore, just get out. When I heard this, I immediately felt angry, put down the box, and glared at her. The girl was stunned for a few seconds, then pointed to the bottom of the box with a red face and said to me: I mean the wheels. ___ Paraphrase A university professor said to his students: "In ancient times, "Lu" means kissing, mouth to mouth, very vivid;" One of the students asked: "If "Lu" means kissing, then what about Pinyu? ......

Excellent Junior High School Humor Jokes

1) When we were in our senior year of high school, our chemistry teacher taught us organic chemistry. The teacher first drew a "peptide bond" on the blackboard, and then said to us: "This is a eunuch, let's put a methyl group on it! Students, where do you want to put it? At this time, the audience was already Laughing like crazy.

2) Jordan: Build the motherland and be loyal to the country. Nepal: Motherland is more precious than heaven. Myanmar: A harmonious and orderly life contains happiness. France: Liberty, Equality, Fraternity. Netherlands: We must insist on wishing Belgium: Unity is strength. Andorra: I will not offend anyone unless they offend me. Switzerland: All for all, all for one. China: People's Bank of China.

3) Last night, my grandson invited me to eat skewers! I was so happy that I ate three kidneys! When I was finally paying, he turned around and asked me if I had any change? I said yes. Then he asked me for two hundred pieces. .

4) Life has been tight recently. The 20,000 yuan I borrowed from friends yesterday was squandered today. In desperation, I had to change my signature to: My number is It was stolen. Don’t trust anyone who wants to borrow money!

5) "My classmate’s cell phone was stolen. We comforted her: "It's a broken cell phone, forget it..." She said: "I feel bad. It’s the photos on the phone. Those youth are probably the best memories. We gave her some advice, sent a text message to our phone, and told the thief that all she wanted was the photos on the phone. In fact, we knew in our hearts that they were gone. Have hope.

But to my surprise, the text message came back after a while: "I'm sorry, it was too ugly. It was deleted..."

6) I secretly sent my number and name on my deskmate's phone. I changed it to "Dad". I sent him a text message during class: Come back quickly, my child. We have ten million dollars in our family, and we still go to school! After seeing this, our classmate ran out and the class teacher asked him why he was there! He said without looking back: "Get out of here!"

7) The new principal is very strict about the academic style and calls himself a psychological counselor. All students are welcome to go to him for psychological counseling. The first-rate classmate went to the principal and said: "Principal, I fell in love early, what should I do?" The principal said very kindly: "Student, don't worry, speak slowly, come on, write down your name and class." The second day, that idiot was punished?

8) I went to the supermarket and met a crying little girl and her dad in the biscuit section. The conversation was as follows: Dad: You. Who do you like? Loli cried and said: Jay Chou. Dad: It doesn’t matter if he likes Jay Chou. He can’t buy you biscuits. Loli cried and said: You buy me biscuits, I also like his father. I was speechless, I was so choked that I was hurt internally! What a child today!!!

9) My friend worked in a courier company, and the person who came to pick up the courier one day was a monk

10) He asked the master: ?What is in the package?

11) The monk said it was a scripture, and my friend sighed and said: ?Technology has developed, and scriptures are obtained by express delivery? A few days ago, I saw a boy in school uniform. Phone call, the sound is very loud,? How many times have I said it! Let’s break up! I am! You are yes! It’s from the last century! Do you understand or not! Old woman! You are not suitable for me! Don’t pester me anymore ! When I heard this, the veins in my hand holding my ID card popped out. It turned out that I was from the last century.

12) I went to the court with my attendants today. This is my first time. I was quite nervous. After entering, everyone was sitting upright and serious. After the judge appeared in court, someone suddenly shouted: "Everyone stand up?!" At this time, my brain twitched. I stood up and shouted: "Hello, teacher?!" The whole place burst into laughter. And I was kicked out for disturbing the order of the court...

13) The African black girl went to Shanghai and stayed in a hotel. There was a fire in the middle of the night. The African woman ran out quickly. She was surprised and said: My mother, she was burnt and she still ran so fast