What funny words did Yu Qian say in Degang Guo's cross talk?

Just search the quotations of Brother Qian.

Dream marriage: Yes, yes! Killing you is not too much, you know! Too mushy!

Xi Zhengmeng: This helicopter is also diesel.

I Want Happiness: Is Dad Stupid?

I'm glad, too. ....

According to what you said, you are the first ... and then your father.

There is also the most classic sentence in the movie: "... I sing with him, I am hungry!" " ..."

You also exercise ~

On ridicule: In fact, my father is dead. I forgot to mention it!

"both civil and military": a little news? Scratch people, you are!

White house-not enough money to burn.

Wu Wen Shuangquan: I'm going to see a monk selling zongzi.

At the end of "My Life", Degang Guo added materials temporarily, saying that he had never drowned once while swimming on the lawn. Brother Qian responded with lightning: Didn't you bury yourself alive? (it may not be completely accurate, that's probably what it means), and several old sticky people under the stage were all happy at that time!

I want happiness: Guo: At this moment, I saw my girlfriend and her boyfriend coming from inside hand in hand. What a good coke. This.

Y: it's so sad!

My life: Miss prejudice woke me up from my sleep ... Brother Qian: Is this you? !

The audience burst into laughter, and Guo glared at Qian Ge angrily and said, "Is there such a thing as changing words in the background?" ! "Brother Qian:" Why don't you just say it? " The audience laughed, and in Fang La's words, everyone was dying!

Guo: Yu Qian's father called me and said that he had been thinking for a long time and didn't know a riddle. Looking at Hou Yuewen from a distance and looking at the washbasin from a distance. ...

Y: My father has never heard of cross talk.

Measuring Wei Yun's "church-seeking meeting"

Wei Yun (backward): Have you ever drunk a jar of wine for one person?

Y: What day is it today?

Wei Yun (backward): Touch the wine with your fingers and put it in your mouth.

Y: right, right! Whether you can drink is another question!

I was going crazy off stage!

Strange treatment

Guo: The bride takes off her prosthetic leg and cuts you!

Y: I'll cut him with mine, too!

There is a saying in "West is Dream", "What is your salute? How about I throw you a piece of bread? "

I remember that once Brother Qian measured Mr. Guo's life. After returning, Mr. Dou trained his daughter. Guo: This job is really tiring. Why don't you stand on my side and tease me for two paragraphs and give me a rest? Brother Qian immediately replied: no, no, no, I can't come here. I stopped turning like this, and Master Guo reacted quickly: I immediately moved aside, so that I was here, and then you were under the stage.

When recording the truth that day, Mr. Guo wiped his sweat with a paper towel because the video studio was too hot.

The host said that this paragraph can be cut off when it is broadcast.

Mr. Guo said that you can put mosaics on it.

Brother Qian followed, mosaic, who knows where you wiped it?

I've been thinking about this sentence in the second half. It's awesome.

Guo: What's that? What set? Three words! ..... Yu: Think about it! !

Degang said, "I won't go in for a day." Yu Qian said, "You still won't come out all night."

Degang said, "I care about this."

Yu Qian pointed to his ass and said, "You are not as good as me."

22 back to the scene, I used to talk about Yu Qian. Guo: "People don't understand. When Yu Qian was a child. " ..... Yu: "You really know a lot about this introduction."

I want happiness, Guo, The only difference between Superman and me is that he wears underpants outside ... Qian: "Try wearing underwear outside next time."

A second-hand scientist invented the voice-activated light, Yu: You can see his face!

You are flirting with my daughter-in-law.

"I want happiness": Degang Guo encouraged herself in front of the mirror in the ladies' room that "you will succeed" ... Yu Qian received a sentence "I read a happy song ~ ~ ~"

Xuexihe: Knock again and I'll give you the drum.

I don't know whether he likes this scientist or this second-hand one.

Miss prejudice: Gangzi said, "She ate my share with a spoonful." Brother Qian said, "Yes, I can't see her share."

Gangzi said that Miss Bias woke him up, and Brother Qian said, "Did she push you?" Laugh and spit!

Another time, I said "Sister Wang Sifu", and Gangzi hung up on Brother Qian and said "I am a funny guy". As a result, I accidentally said "I am a funny guy" and immediately changed it back to "I am a funny guy". Brother Qian replied "I just said". The audience are very happy.

I feel that Brother Qian's work in measuring Gangzi is perfect and tacit.

My life: Guo: You are both called performance art now!

Starting tonight, scholars are anxious to pick up their daughter-in-law from work in the karaoke bars. Yu Qian asked Guo: What does your daughter-in-law do?

Guo: I don't know Yu Qian, so you haven't eaten pork!

Y: Hui people don't know much about it ~

In the special session of Sina New Year's Crosstalk, he said that his father is a martial arts expert: "... sharp, barbed, hooked and bladed ... what is a golden bell jar and what is iron underpants, they have all been practiced." ..... I stretched out my hand and stopped him: "Don't practice, it's useless to practice again ..."

On Dreams: Guo: Some people are photographed in a square with three lines on it, which is terrible!

Yu: "What's so terrible about this? Don't you see it every morning? "

China People's Liberation Army Opera House:

Secondary suspension

Gang: Just now ... I was covered in noodles. ...

Qian: Is that Peng under the quilt? !

I saw the host dressed like a red envelope for the first time.

Money: No wonder. It was worn by miss Lier.

Guo repeated the last paragraph: When you were three years old, your father called you to him. ...

Qian: In that case, it's a good program.

Bin Laden was greedy enough.

"Jumping": My mother has a small intestine.

In a short period after the anti-Japanese special:

Guo: The great man standing here today is him, a backstage giant and my apprentice. This one here (referring to Jing Li)

Y: small eyes? !

Guo: Aren't you ashamed?

Y: We are all guilty.

Don't say anything about your grandfather.

Today, some people still think that the most successful cooperation between Guo and Yu is The Yellow Crane Tower.

When the monitor said that he would go to Mr. Ma's house to learn to play the piano and sing the song of selling steamed buns by Muslims, Brother Qian directly said, "Well, that's right. Is Mr. Ma Li Anliang a Muslim? " At that time, the audience absolutely came down! !

Guo: You have to ask,' Dad, why are you going?'

Y: I'm going to take a bath. ...

There is also a modest brother who once "found a meeting" for Wei Yun, which is also a punch line!

For example, have you found a good place for your business? Has there been a manned full moon? ..... Dapeng has also been broadcast on the program.

Looks like a sheep in a tree.

Degang Guo stood with his shoulders tilted.

Brother Qian's son said, why are these scientists so lazy?

It's fun to put your bodies together.

Everyone says "good". Yu Xiansheng has the best taste and temperature.

Article meeting

Y: In which gallery do you usually sell handwriting ~ ~ ~

Guo: We don't sell hair salons ... we buy them. ...

Yu: "We ask about work, but we don't care about private life."

Did the Grenade explode?

Degang said at the "I want to go to the Spring Festival Evening" in Tianjin Province: Actors like ne have flower baskets, and I have worked so hard that I don't even have a wreath. Teacher Yu said: You are not old enough! (coax)! The monitor said: Is there a security guard? Pointing to Mr. Yu, he said: This is enough for 5 minutes.

Dou's daughter: Don't step on a stick during the performance, ok? We have a plan.

There are also oral words: not so good.

What did that foreign bitch say?

"There are so unreasonable wife? ! "

Haha, everyone knows which paragraph it is.

What are you doing here? this is ...

The most classic is actually: alas ... wow!

Guo: ... The main reason is that the business card management system is not perfect. If I want to print the president, he will print it for me, and so will the president and the priest. ...

Y: You are both spiritual and material.

Degang Guo said that she saw her girlfriend calling her boyfriend. Master Guo also shook hands with the man.

Brother Qian said: But this is really a harmonious society.

In a dream marriage-

Guo: Noodles! Lamian Noodles! Beef noodles! A wide bowl and a thin bowl!

Y: just want to eat?

This small bag is the most unforgettable thing for Brother Qian. ...

ba magua

Li: You should be careful with my jacket. Look, there are urine cocoons here.

Mr. Hu: Isn't this a sneezer?

Y: This is Zhen! (I laugh every time I hear this)

On ridicule-Yu: "I tell you this, in order to tell you this cross talk, our family is dead!" "

Dream marriage-Guo: "My four donkeys are walking on fire, and the police are afraid to look at me." It's good to have money. ..... Yu: "Did the dog chase you?"

Cut off the drums. My dad farted to commemorate the 60th anniversary of anti-fascism.

The monitor in the drum said that Yu Qian's father is the boss of two knives. Teacher Yu immediately said: It was time to chop ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Let's not talk about the interesting things under the stage. Anyway, Guo Le's waist is bent straight ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What winter is this?

Guo: "There is another person backstage who can compete with the teacher."

Yu: "That's not easy, man!

Is there a third floor here?

Don't even say my words together!

Guo: You zip up your pants. Y: Well, I wish I had a coat.

I'm so happy.

During the recording of Starry Night, in the first issue hosted by Yu Qian, Chao Dong said that the Secretary Door incident: "The boss asked the female secretary to give the key, but the female secretary refused ..." Yu Qian said: "This is an attempt ..."

When he took off his coat, he said to the east, "Brother Qian, do you mind changing it here?" Yu Qian said: "It doesn't matter, this business is to take off your clothes ..."

Xu Deliang: I bought earrings because my ex-girlfriend wanted to buy earrings to accompany me.

Yu Qian: What would you do if your current girlfriend wanted breast augmentation?

The special performance in memory of Mr. Wang Fengshan is also a joke of "starting tonight"

Y: I can see that you keep everything on your lips, but it's totally irrelevant (a child in the audience said, "Yes")

Guo (pointing to the child): Is this your father?

Yu (also pointing to the child): Who is like Dad at our age?

Guo: I like it.

Civil and military training

Guo: If you say that again, I'll drag you to the tiger stool!

Yu: Qu Xie works in Zhazidong!

(The news is very tight)

At the award ceremony at the end of last year, when the sesame seed cake came to the stage to receive the award, it shook its face-

Yu Qian: Come on, stop shaking. You will burn up in a minute, and I will become a hemp ball. (Laughter from the audience)

I can't remember which passage it is. The monitor said, "I'll buy a catty of watermelon! Buy a piece of soy sauce tofu brain! "

Brother Qian said, wipe watermelon to eat? !

Guo: Little girls sing drums, all with their heads down, rubbing rouge and touching powder, and pulling them backwards. Beautiful! There are several big flower baskets at a time.

Y: you're not?

Guo: Don't talk about flower baskets. We don't even have wreaths.

Y: (laughs) Maybe you are underage.

Guo: I hate it. ...

There is another sentence that I think is the most classic.

In "vinegar lamp"

Guo: I am a dozen children. I was too lazy just now.

Y: Who is this anal Thai?

Guo: Madam.

Y: I ruined a good medicine. ...

Degang Guo moved me the most.

It seems that Wang Huigang finished singing at the National Day Seven-Day Music Crosstalk Conference.

Guo Yu walked up,

"How well the actor who just sang the drum set sang."

The audience laughed, and Yu Qian also laughed:

"You are really awesome."

"Nonsense, I don't praise him ... then my wife."

laugh

"My daughter-in-law asked me to concentrate on cross talk, and I don't have to worry about the rest. This is also called a dream. "

Laugh wildly under the stage

Yu Qian is broken:

"You are throwing caution to the wind. You have never been so generous to us. "

Dream marriage

Guo: "My four donkeys were walking on fire, and the police didn't dare to look at me." It's good to have money. "

Money: "Did the dog chase you?"

The monitor in the drum said that Yu Qian's father is the boss of two knives. Teacher Yu immediately said: It was time to chop ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Let's not talk about the interesting things under the stage. Anyway, the monitor bent down happily ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In a church meeting with Montana,

Montana drinks water. Brother Qian and Montana robbed. Water spilled everywhere. Montana put her face on the table and drank.

Teacher Yu stopped him and said, "What are you drinking? Ok, lick my face later. " (Brother Qian spilled it on his face. )

In the cross talk "both civil and military":

Degang Guo dressed as Jin Yong, wrote a poem on the ground with bricks, stood up and lit it with his feet:

In the spring morning, I woke up easily, surrounded by birds singing; How many flowers fall after a stormy night.

Yu Qian said: Well, fortunately, it is five words. If it's seven words, you'll break your hips.

Sheep in the tree

Guo: What are you thinking? Let's perform on the stage. For example, if you see me walking in the street in the future, you ask me, Dad, why did you leave? ...

Money: I'm going to take a bath. .

During the super interview, the monitor said that he loved books as much as his life: I may not know if our family's money was lost, but I can tell which book was lost.

Brother Qian immediately said, yes, the money is in the book.

Dream of getting married, the monitor said to let Liu Xiang pull a rickshaw for him.

Brother Qian said, "You can't catch up if you fall!"

When you practice, do you also put a pot under it? -I'm a gangster.

My brother came back naked? the White House

That's not looking at drums, that's looking at thighs! -I want to see the Spring Festival Gala.

When crossing the street with Miss Bias, one looks to the left and the other to the right: "You two are together, that's called performance art! -My whole life

You are bleeding to learn-ask your wife to give it to your son.

Y: I went to the bathroom behind the stage. Guo, who said crosstalk here, adjusted the Sam Browne Belt: OK, Sam Browne Belt is all in it.

Guo: Do you know me?

Money: No.

Guo: Look.

Money: I can't see it.

Guo: Take a closer look.

Money: How do you know?

Guo: Your brain is finished.

Money: What's the matter?

Guo: I am the second-hand scientist just now.

Qian: Hello! Let's not go down yet. -Sheep in the tree.

Guo: Astronomers are not allowed to study geography. You used to study astronomy and astrology, and suddenly you studied geography. You don't study your stars and moons well, and you spend all day with geography, huh? Get up early every day and go to Qinghe, Shahe, Changping County, Nankou, Kangzhuangzi and Huailai County. ...

Brother Qian: Is this a scientist? All right. Why are you still traveling with you?

Guo: Some geography students can't do it.

Brother Qian: That's true. Crosstalk actors haven't done it yet. -Sheep in the tree

Guo: Which swimming pool do you go to? What bathing suit do people wear? Do you want to be embarrassed?

Y: nonsense! Your family wears a cotton-padded jacket when swimming ~-I want to violate the three customs.

And this.

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Quotations from Qian Ge