Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - What do you mean, I'm afraid it won't grow?

What do you mean, I'm afraid it won't grow?

1

On the day Nanshan moved here, the weather was not very good, and it was raining in Mao Mao outside. He pushed the door and went in, with a big suitcase behind him. Sitting in the living room, Lin wrapped the quilt tightly, swallowed a mouthful of brown sugar and ginger tea, and stared at the boy in front of him through thick lenses. In Nanshan's view, the girl is a little careless, but her narrowed eyes look like two small crescent moons, which are quite nice.

"The intermediary said that it was you who wanted to move here? My name is Lin, and they all call me Xiao Qiao, haha, welcome to the new roommate! " Lin stood up and put the thick quilt back on the sofa, wearing only a beige coral velvet household clothes, and the whole person looked small and exquisite. She stood half a meter away from Nanshan, holding out a pale hand. Nanshan hesitated and shook, feeling a little cold.

"Hello, my name is Nanshan. Please take care of it. " Nanshan is a little stiff.

In this way, Nanshan and Xiao Qiao became roommates and lived a completely different life in this two-bedroom apartment of more than 60 square meters. Nanshan has a regular schedule. From six to ten o'clock, the thunder can't move. Xiao Qiao, on the other hand, often comes back from the study room in Dai Yue because he wants to take the postgraduate entrance examination, but he can't get up habitually in the morning.

Nanshan sometimes comes back from running, eats breakfast and goes out to work. He will reset the alarm clock three times, with an interval of 30 minutes each time. He went out at 7 o'clock, and Xiao Qiao got up at 8: 30 to wash and tidy up, just so as not to delay classes in nearby schools.

Sometimes Nanshan will leave some breakfast for Xiao Qiao and write labels in various colors. Accustomed to being confused, Xiao Qiao always felt a little warm and sad at first. Gradually, more and more times like this have become a habit.

Nanshan has gradually become accustomed to the existence of Xiao Qiao. Although they live under the same roof, one goes out early and returns late, and seldom meet each other, but after a long time, they all feel that Xiao Qiao is a ray of sunshine and a glimmer of hope in his heart. As long as I think of her, I feel inexplicable warmth and my mouth will rise unconsciously.

2

Sometimes it rains just in time for the weekend. Instead of going to the study room, Xiao Qiao stays on the sofa in the living room to review his lessons. When I don't know when a cup of warm milk tea appears at hand or when there is an extra piece of milk in a thick English dictionary, Xiao Qiao always jokes about Nanshan: "Dashan, I can't believe you are really a warm man. Who will marry you in the future? I really don't know how lucky you are! "

When she said this, she just took a sip of milk tea and her eyes turned red. Nanshan will take it and tease her: "It's just a cup of tea, don't be so moved, right?" Otherwise ... "

"Ha ha, don't worry, brother, this young lady won't commit suicide." In short, Xiao Qiao was joking, but Nanshan felt embarrassed and a little chilling.

Xiao Qiao has a boyfriend, and Nanshan has long known about it. Little Joe is just a buddy to him. He often tries to introduce his girlfriend to him. He also said that he must find a good girl who is reliable and knows the roots. He is known as "the rich and the poor don't flow".

Therefore, at a class reunion, when Xiao Qiao solemnly introduced Nanshan to his former college roommate, Nanshan could only smile with her, noncommittally. University roommate teased Nanshan: "Do you have a crush on our little sister?"

Nanshan didn't speak, and his face changed and changed. "Look, I guess right? My face is red. " Roommate continued to ask. Nanshan always smiles and keeps his mouth shut.

Some people are doomed to be impossible, because while your heart is chasing her, her heart is full of a small universe composed of another person. Therefore, Nanshan clearly knows that he only needs to stand at a distance and look at Xiao Qiao. As long as she can smile every day, she can drive away all the haze in his heart like sunshine.

three

One day in late autumn, it was getting dark after work in Nanshan. He bought Xiao Qiao's favorite roast cold noodles at the subway entrance, and went to the puff shop on the corner to buy some freshly baked puffs.

When they went downstairs, Nanshan habitually looked up at the window of the house where they lived. There is orange light in the living room, and Nanshan runs upstairs warmly. Xiao Qiao left a door for him. When he pushed open the door left unlocked and was ready to blame Xiao Qiao, a tall boy with black-rimmed glasses came out of Xiao Qiao's room. The sound "Xiao Qiao, remember to lock the door many times, you are not safe at home alone" was swallowed back by Nanshan.

At this point, Xiao Qiao happily followed and introduced it to Nanshan, who was dumbfounded: "His name is Liang Bo, my ... boyfriend." At some point, Xiao Qiao looked at the boy with a face of worship, and there was a jumping light in his eyes. I don't know why, Nanshan is very sad, but on the surface, he is still very rational and calmly greets Liang Bo.

Two boys nodded to each other, Nanshan pretended to be free and easy, and Liang Bo's eyes were complicated.

Nanshan looked at Xiao Qiao. She painted delicate makeup and put on a beige lace dress. Beautiful, but embarrassing. Because, since I met Xiao Qiao, she has never put on makeup or dressed up that day. When Xiao Qiao invited Nanshan to have dinner with them, looking at Xiao Qiao who was busy preparing meals, Nanshan felt that a girl could change so much, and the distance from her fingers to washing her hands to making bride soup was just "liking her".

If you like someone, you should be modest and willing. Maybe that's it, isn't it Nanshan thought silently.

Nanshan took an excuse to have a working meal in the company, and then lifted the dishes in his hand. He forced a smile and said, "Take your time. Here, there are many meals! " Say, put them on the table in the corner, quickly come to the room and close the door.

A male voice came from the living room: "Xiao Qiao, don't always eat junk food, how many times have I told you!" " "Tone is full of blame and disdain.

Xiao Qiao changed the subject with a smile. Two people had a long dinner.

I don't know how long it took, but the living room was quiet. When Nanshan went to the living room to pour water, he saw Xiao Qiao standing by the sink, rolling up his cuffs and washing dishes.

165438+ 10 In October, there was no heating in Beijing, and the weather was very cold. Looking at Xiao Qiao's red hands and thin shoulders, Nanshan was distressed and couldn't help shrinking.

At this time, Xiao Qiao's right index finger just touched the sharp blade of the kitchen knife. With a scream of pain, she blurted out "Dashan". Nanshan quickly found a medicine box to help her deal with the wound, while Liang Bo, who stood by, kept making a mountain out of a molehill.

Nevertheless, Xiao Qiao still likes Liang Bo, just as he liked him at the beginning. Time did not reduce Xiao Qiao's feelings, but accumulated more and more, wrapping himself tightly like a thick cotton-padded coat. Long-distance love and studying hard for the postgraduate entrance examination are all supported by this feeling.

four

Liking a person can be blind. You remember all his good things and enlarge them infinitely, but you artificially filter out his bad things, even the wrong things, and then pretend that your feelings are as pure and clear as before.

Little Joe is like this. Girls appeared in Liang Bo's circle of friends and snuggled up to him. Little Joe just said bitterly, "Hum, isn't it just that his legs are a little long? What's the big deal? "

I don't know whether I was born defenseless or pretending to be deep. Xiao Qiao never cried because of Liang Bo's gossip, and even his troubles only disappeared after a short stay.

Joe said that Liang Bo would never betray her, never. They agreed that he would wait for her, wait for her to be successfully admitted to the same university as him, walk hand in hand on the boulevard of the campus, and go to the new "top edition" library of that school together. Xiao Qiao always "scatters dog food" in front of Nanshan, although she plays the leading role, screenwriter and director in most love stories.

Xiao Qiao said that no matter how difficult it is, she will stick to it, and when the spring blossoms next year, she will go to find a loyal wife.

So, when winter came, Xiao Qiao began to work hard, sleeping less than 5 hours a day, and occasionally seeing her, she always wore big panda eyes and was unkempt. Xiao Qiao always eats instant noodles while reading on the sofa. He didn't say a word all day, and the whole person worked like crazy.

Nanshan looks in the eye and hurts in the heart. However, all he can do is to fill the cupboard with instant noodles, bake two pieces of bread and heat a glass of milk in the morning and put it on the coffee table in the living room so that Xiao Qiao can reach it when reviewing.

Sometimes, Xiao Qiao also becomes anxious. When cleaning, Nanshan found more and more long hair in the living room. So Nanshan bought three thick comic books to amuse Xiao Qiao. Every night, he would accompany Xiao Qiao to review late and tell her jokes before going to bed.

Xiao Qiao laughs low and doesn't turn his head. These jokes can't have a logical turn. For them, Nanshan spent a lot of energy, always looking for it from the internet and books, and carefully adapting it. In order to add "jokes", he had to recite them one by one and make a new explanation.

When doing this, Nanshan had no other ideas. He just wants Joe to relax and be happy. As for whether to make a wedding dress for others as my colleague said, he doesn't care at all.