Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Send a small group of essays
Send a small group of essays
A clique is not an exclusive event for members of a specific clique, but a group composed of the original clique.
In recent years, various parties have never stopped. This group, that group, this moment, that moment, people are as busy as going to the market, and sometimes they run here and there, naturally gaining a lot of excitement. In my spare time, I will take out all kinds of wonderful things to ponder. It feels like a kaleidoscope, colorful and interesting. I just think there's a vacancy. What is empty and what is missing? After I cut it, it turned out to be the content of my childhood partner.
As for the reason for this vacancy, is everyone busy? Or has everyone forgotten the memory of childhood? In a word, we really haven't met formally in recent years. In this way, under the fanatical background of "pioneering, exploring and enterprising" everywhere, the world has a leisurely and original taste of Xanadu. I am lucky to find this calm and natural state today!
Luck should be gratifying, but childlike innocence has been aroused.
A brainwave: If you throw a stone into a quiet childhood stream, will it still splash?
It's 28th this year, and the Year of the Monkey has only one tail tip left, so it's not too late for the party. Then I thought, since I have the heart to throw that stone, why not worry about losing it? Why not just throw the baggage out with a wave of your hand? It goes without saying that there is no noise, so it's easy, isn't it soon?
So he dialed the telephone and took the opportunity to throw stones during the talks. When we got off the boat, everyone seemed to have a clear idea. When the stone fell, we stood and watched the splash, which was a surprise. The waves are full of joy, exuberance and enthusiasm, and they also send out clear echoes: assembly, assembly, assembly!
Coincidentally, when I sent the time and place of the party to everyone through WeChat group, a new group was born. The birth of this group was somewhat unexpected, and even caused a buzz, which attracted a sigh: we are both classmates, or "young", not ordinary, we are relatives!
On second thought, I think so. Probably only those students who have known each other since childhood and are brothers and sisters can be called "Xiaofa". It is really not easy to be "small" in this world, which may be attributed to the fate of three generations!
Therefore, this group was named "Faxiaoqun".
In fact, the word "xiaomao" is not a native product, but an imported product. Although our Shaanxi accent has been sought after and admired by people for a long time in the past, just like today's Beijing dialect, and it belongs to official accent and elegant rhyme, the later "Xiaofa" is indeed more fashionable and refined than our "friends who grew up playing with each other". Also, in today's fast-changing world, if you always show off with antique objects, it is really a Q. This "little hair" is straightforward and kind, not bad!
Second, pay attention.
The time for the party was supposed to be six o'clock in the afternoon on the 29th of the twelfth lunar month, but someone came just after five o'clock. I trotted all the way to Yue Zhenxuan. Although this "Yue Zhenxuan" is very common, it extends in all directions and is very convenient. It's just opposite the Second Ring Road. For this more convenient choice for me, everyone seems to care nothing, and everyone is very happy. In other words, I am getting younger and younger. Although I don't have to say it, no one treats anyone as an outsider, and I won't let myself be an outsider. I feel like family, natural and kind.
Long Wen and Jianguo came first. This Long Wen was very fat when he was a child, and he is still fat now, although I heard that he has been trying to reduce his holdings. It seems that the nickname "Stone Buddha" will always accompany his childhood. However, this "stone Buddha" was trained as a judge today, and the official reputation is good. Long Wen's appearance is really a bit like a happy Buddha. He is always smiling and happy. Perhaps because of the harmony and joy of his image, coupled with his natural or acquired understanding, wisdom and humor, most of his stories are comic. I remember that he was disgusted with who called him "Stone Buddha" at first, but now he smiles at whom, which is obviously cultivated. He is Buddha-shaped, Buddha-shaped and more Buddha-like. It seems that when he gets there, he will take Xixing there. He can come so early today, which must have made this little date relaxed and enjoyable!
The name Jianguo has nothing to do with the country and its corresponding festivals, but it just means that he is my brother's younger brother. I remember that his family was good, but he was a little thin and looked soft, so he had a nickname "Aqingsao". In fact, he is not soft, and has done a lot of work in uncovering tiles. It's just that he likes to joke. He's a monster. At present, his face is full of sunshine and has not faded at all. Engaged in accounting work, although he has been loyal to his duties, he now has an object around him, a professional camera that can hardly be separated from him. It was only when he was busy taking pictures of everyone with his camera that the ugly monster appeared inadvertently. His gestures are exaggerated and humorous, but they are very emotional and attract the excitement of many people.
Then Jian Yong. I remember that Jian Yong wore a sweater vest when he was a child, probably because the vest only had black and white patterns, so he was nicknamed "Dahuaniu". To tell the truth, Jian Yong really has some magical charm: sincere and frank, never making public. He was admitted to the government civil service earlier, but he was mistakenly stuck in the factory because of the so-called "work needs". After many twists and turns, he finally jumped out of the factory. He likes the social charity work he is engaged in now. Although he was late for many years, he finally got what he wanted, which was really gratifying. He is kind, practical and dedicated, and will be a good hand in any field. It's just that he is naturally reserved and quiet, so it's hard to see his shadow in many lively occasions. However, as soon as I received this small phone call, I showed rare excitement and even shouted: Go! Let's go Let's go
The fourth person present is Snowflake. It used to be a snowflake, but now it's a snowflake. I remember that Miss Liu, the head teacher of our primary school, loved her very much, which made everyone a little jealous. But she is also really excellent, with beautiful scenery and smooth sailing. Her family used to be the earliest "ten thousand yuan household", and has been working in a bank since then, giving people the illusion that her family seems to be a relative of the bank, and the distance from money is always closer than others. She is a beautiful flower, but she is never vain. I have never heard her sing high-profile songs of love and respect, nor have I seen her bask in gorgeous words such as affection, preaching and emotion, but she silently practices them. In other words, she is deeply rooted and suffocating. With the nourishment of the earth, she will be charming, so she naturally completed a simple sublimation, from snowflake sublimation to snowflake. This lively, sincere and delicate snowflake is consistent, and people can't help cheering: good scenery!
Then came a bunch of flowers: Xiao Fang, Yu Lan, Xiaohui and Jerry.
Xiao Fang, though all from the countryside, is a scholar. If her father had not been wrongly labeled as "Rightist", she might be active in another group now, an official second generation group. She is an English teacher now, which also inherits her father's rehabilitation career. The innocent children in her classroom and her beautiful campus always seem to be filled with her personal space. Obviously, she really loves all this. It seems that she is determined to shine on you with fragrance. She was the first to sigh and put forward the warm concept of "young as a relative"!
Yu Lan, I remember when I was at school, I wrote Yu Lan in my exercise book. Now the name Yu Lan is mentioned, which reminds people of the red movie star Yu Lan in the middle of last century. Yu Lan seldom appeared among her classmates before, but that doesn't mean that she was born inactive. The reason for her silence is probably the original difference between urban and rural areas. Actually, her condition is not bad. Now the hukou of rural hometown is unique, not only as a resident, but also as a resident who belongs to a rich family with private houses and land! Without her entanglement, she returned to her true colors and became active again. It is not easy for us to fly out of this country, but now it is difficult and almost impossible to fly back. As soon as she turned around, she became Yu Lan. Although this kind of "blue" is not that kind of "blue", this kind of "blue" seems to be more elegant than that kind, really amazing and enviable.
Xiaohui is not small, tall and big, and you can see at a glance that she is a doer of both internal and external cultivation. She sang beautifully when she was a child and worked as a "songwriter" in her class. Does she still love singing? Look at that. Maybe you will come here once in a while. I heard that her family has its own business, which should be very good. Otherwise, how can you have so much free time to travel around? In fact, in her hometown, she is also a superior resident with land and private houses, and also a wealthy family. If we associate her with the hot word "demolition" in her hometown today, it should be that Xiaohui, the quasi-"demolition generation", keeps quiet, but his potential net worth is more than millions! It's not unusual for a rich sister of 100 million to be willful, let alone build a petty bourgeoisie and carry forward her previous hobby of singing.
Jerry was very active at first, but he was silent for a while, and he deliberately avoided his classmates. It is speculated that this may be because of the failure of the college entrance examination. She is so strong and considerate. Dust to dust, dirt to dirt, after all, she is back, still the same: warm and straightforward, modest, laughing again and again. As you can guess, there must be a lot of tears and sweat between this avoidance and return. Although she was also worried that the home she had worked so hard to build was about to be demolished, the general trend had gone, and she had achieved the goal of "demolishing a generation". She could have put down her hands and lived happily every day like a "second-line retiree", but she didn't want to go to work. However, she began to enjoy life. In her WeChat circle of friends, I can see her gathering with friends and playing with her family from time to time. It looks cheerful and lively. She might like to be lively. For this little date, she quickly said: Good!
Tell me more about me and Yuling.
Yuling, dare not boast that she is a flower, but it is ok to boast that she is a jade. Her family is a queue jumper, but she is not a stranger, but also shows a deep-rooted trend. She is comprehensive in personality, study and human development. She has always been a "three good" student in her class. After studying preschool education, she has never left this major and has been working in the same unit. It can be said that she is single-minded and deserves to be an expert. As an expert, she is still a wife. If we are in the same boat for many years, I have to praise her. It's easy and sincere! Supposedly, she could have found a Plutocratic family, but it happened that she got on my fake boat. She also lamented: This is all fate. It is this word that makes me laugh a lot. Dare not confess more, or you will be suspected by young people of "drying dog food"! Actually, this meeting is very small. She thought of it long ago, too. I kept silent because I had to wait for me to be the "spokesperson".
Although I was born a poor peasant, I was afraid of sweating in the fields since I was a child. It was also an opportunity to work hard and finally jumped out of the gate of the farm through study, but in the end, he was not very quiet, and finally resigned from the hard-won and stable public office and went to sea alone. It's just that my personality is a little less fierce and a little more inert, so that these years are neither rich nor expensive, but my life is quite comfortable. I don't play cards and I don't drink much. I gave up smoking a few years ago. When I was really afraid of being criticized, I pulled a cover of "writing" to decorate the facade. This kind of "writing" is good as a hobby, but it can't be serious because of "no competition for food". But fortunately, although it does not compete for food, it does not harm the rivers and lakes. It can entertain itself and seems to entertain others. In addition to entertaining yourself, you can also name it "Ya". The old man has been elegant for a long time and feels a little thin, so he threw a stone into the quiet little world and planned to play with everyone.
Shenglong was the last one to come. As soon as he entered the door, he took the initiative to fine three glasses of wine without saying anything.
Provincial dragon, now called Xiahe. He writes well since he was a child and likes to play with elegant things. He became a teacher first, and then went to sea. I have run mines and companies, and now I am an economic investor. All this seems to be props to fulfill his original dream. Now he has another important identity: a scholar, a visiting professor, a famous calligrapher, and also the vice chairman of the Provincial Symphony Association. This means that his dream has come true. He often holds calligraphy and painting exhibitions, flies to Europe to listen to concerts from time to time, and sometimes writes casual articles. The size of this "Xiahe" is probably also said. Or is it called "going into the river" for "going into the sea"? Calling "river" instead of "sea" is probably not only for exquisiteness, but also for low-key. Sheng Long was the first person to drive Santana, but today it is safe to ride. According to him, I'm here to drink today!
Third, drink.
This meeting on the monkey's tail is actually just for drinking.
In general, wine bureaus often have a title and a theme. In this regard, before the wine is opened, I first declare: today's wine bureau has no name and no purpose! I just want to meet everyone and have a drink! My voice declined, only to see that everyone had put their glasses in their hands and slipped out of the table, making a * * * sound: drink!
The word "drink" is of course refueling!
The sound of "drinking" warmed up the atmosphere of the dinner party!
During the dinner, everyone came and went, you respected me, I respected you, people were shaking, cups and plates were staggered, everyone was holding wine in their hands and shouting for drinks, but in the end they refused to persuade and no one urged them. Obviously, everyone cares about each other. At this point, after a few laps, everyone was drunk and hot. When the wine is warm, there will be more words.
Long Wen said that according to statistics, the life span of Chinese enterprises is two to three years, the renewal life of buildings is twenty to thirty years, the marriage life is five to seven years, and the theoretical life span of people is one hundred and twenty years. This means that job-hopping is the norm, and the house does not have to worry about what to do after 70 years. What remains for us to work hard is how to make the life reach the standard. Because life is not long enough, you will not be able to enjoy the remaining ten wedding opportunities in your life. What a pity! But don't ask me for a divorce. I will be selfish in this matter and never divorce!
Ha ha ha, come on, just for this!
Then, everyone stood up and proposed to make one for Jian Yong, because his deeds were all on TV not long ago! Jian Yong was so modest that he even blushed. Everyone asked: When you found that there was a huge sum of money left in the items donated to your unit, did you ever think about it? For what purpose did you try to return that huge sum of money to its original owner? He said quietly: no purpose, out of conscience! I can't let this love get hurt. I just did what I had to do Then he put the cup to his mouth, cocked his neck and made a squeaking sound. This wine is obviously delicious and enjoyable.
Everyone was really infected by him, and they all said "fuck" in unison, and then there was a creaking sound. ...
I turned to ask the dragon: Is it better to save the dragon or Xiahe? He said, whatever, the smooth one is called that! As for western classical symphonies, I said: You often go to Europe to listen to concerts, which is really elegant. I like listening to western classical music sometimes. Actually, I don't understand those things, but I just feel good. He tapped the table and said, That's right! You don't have to pursue profundity, you think good is enough. If you feel good, you will know!
Everyone praised Shenglong's calligraphy as a book and a painting. He is very casual and chic, and has become his own family. Xiao Fang, Jerry and Xiaohui joked: It's the Spring Festival, and the Spring Festival couplets haven't been posted on the door yet. It seems that there is no need to go shopping again. Save the dragon. Do you want to write one for everyone? The provincial dragon said: this is not to say! He looked around casually and said regretfully, it's just that nothing can be done today! Tell you what, I'll write a word for you when I go back and give it to you later to show the friendship of my classmates! As for his exhibitions and concerts, he is even more sincere. As long as you are interested, make sure to be invited as a guest first!
Everyone said with one voice: It's a deal! Fuck!
Speaking of hometown, it is inseparable from demolition. Because our hometown is the most beautiful place of Feng Shui in Da Xi 'an, it has aroused the covet of governors from all directions. Judging from the successive versions of plans and blueprints, the future of my hometown will be unprecedented. Only many villages have been demolished or will be demolished, including our village. It's a good thing that the water is green, but I'm afraid there is no color that belongs to us anymore. It would be sad if the magpie's nest was occupied. Very tangled, and finally a kind of sadness, a kind of homesickness.
Everyone raised their glasses silently, comforted each other with their eyes, and then drank it off.
Seeing the dreary scene, Yuling raised a glass to propose a toast to everyone. She advised everyone to be optimistic and firmly believed that society would eventually develop in a good direction step by step. She said: not long ago, the state promulgated a favorable policy to allow the birth of a second child! She also said: well, we have one here, and everything about child care will be counted on me in the future!
I didn't hear that the country's two-child policy was unique until the founding of the People's Republic of China. When I have teeth, I don't have a helmet. Now I have a pot helmet, but I have no teeth! However, I still want to thank my old classmates first. If I really have a second child, I will definitely bother you when I go to kindergarten!
Everyone laughed: then make one for your penis in advance, drink it!
Although we didn't persuade wine at the dinner tonight, we didn't drink less. I'm not drunk, but I'm obviously gone with the wind. No, in order to take a photo with Snowflake, Jianguo and Jian Yong actually fought. Jian Yong said Snowflake was his idol, and Jianguo said Snowflake was his dream lover. Snowflakes first cover their mouths and laugh, then open their mouths, and finally laugh out of breath.
After laughing, everyone asked Jian Yong: Our classmates are all beautiful women. To be honest, which one do you like best? Jian Yong solemnly replied: Snowflakes!
Therefore, the smiling snowflake touched Jian Yong's glass and drank it off. Everyone raised their glasses impromptu. After an exaggerated squeak, there was another relaxed laugh, so happy and lively!
Drinking this wine so happily is almost enough. It should be a great place. Wonderful things should be collected immediately, and there is no need for extended translation, otherwise it is a bit superfluous.
Take empty bottles as the score: one bottle of Maotai, one bottle of Wuliangye, two bottles of foreign wine and three bottles of beer. This performance is not bad!
Fourth, sweet dreams.
It's easy to order more cups, wine goes down and tea comes up. This tea is vegetarian, too. It's West Lake Longjing. Its taste is light and pure, with the fragrance of natural leaves and grass, which can just dissolve the strong alcohol.
Everyone bowed their heads and tasted Longjing, nodding and saying yes, good! What are you praising? Nobody asked or explained. I think it's probably the same as listening to music, so you don't have to go that far. I think "good" is enough!
At present, it seems that there is no need to pursue anything deeper and wider only among young people who know each other. Because we know each other, we don't need to stick to the rules. Everything is natural and authentic, very precious!
Break up late at night. This night is not as deep as the night sky. The sky is indeed full of stars, but under the gorgeous lights of the West Second Ring Road overpass, the stars are somewhat eclipsed and seem a little cold and distant. When getting on the bus, Yu Lan and several other girls will go back to their hometown for an outing in the spring, saying that they will give young people a good pot to stir up the group. Everyone promised: good, good, good!
Seeing that everyone later reported peace in this newly born "small group", I am also very satisfied to reply to everyone: good night, good people, sweet dreams!
It's just that I still can't dream.
Everyone wants me to write this down. What should I write? This is our "small group". I dare not cheat here in the past, or everyone will tear my face in front of me.
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