I like cute and funny pictures or jokes, I hope you can send me some.

When the Pig Meets the Bear

One day, the Pig said to the Bear: "Guess how many pieces of candy I have in my pocket?"

The Bear said: "Guess By the way, will you give it to me?"

The pig nodded affirmatively: "Yes, I'll give you two pieces if you guessed it right!"

The bear swallowed and said, "I will." Guess five dollars."

Are you willing to die for me?

What to eat

Male: Wife, I'm back. Let's eat chicken wings tonight.

Female: Do you still want to eat chicken wings? I just saw a piece of news in the newspaper saying that chicken wings are the part of the chicken that has the most hormones!

Male: Let’s eat pork then

Female: That’s great, you can also eat pork. Yesterday I just heard that there were unscrupulous traders selling fake meat!

Son: It’s not enough to just eat vegetables without meat

Female: I heard there are so many pesticides on the vegetables that they can’t be washed off!

Male: Then we can only eat rice

Female: Rice? Is there any rice that doesn’t have bleach these days? !

Male: It seems we can only drink the northwest wind

Son: Yes

Female: Northwest wind? I heard that everything blowing is car exhaust

Son:...

Male:...

What were you doing just now? Kick me

One day Rabbit was watching something exciting on TV.

Suddenly he heard a knock on the door. He went to open the door but saw no one.

"Hello, can you give me some water?"

The rabbit then discovered a snail at the door.

"No!" The rabbit kicked the snail away angrily.

A few years later, Rabbit was watching TV alone at home again.

The knock on the door rang again.

The rabbit ran to open the door.

The snail said: "Why did you kick me just now?!

A happy little joke for children

Grandma taught her grandson: “When you cough, cover your mouth with your hands! ”

Grandson: “Grandma, don’t worry, I just won’t let the tooth fall out.” ”

Sentences from students who will make you laugh your ass off 1. Title: While...while...

The child wrote: He was taking off his clothes and putting on his pants at the same time.

Teacher’s comment: Should he take it off or wear it?

2. Topic: Among them

The child wrote: One of my left feet is injured.

Teacher’s comment: Are you a centipede?

3. Topic: Lu Lu Lu Lu Xue

The children wrote: After get off work, Dad came home one after another.

Teacher’s comments: How many fathers do you have?

4. Topic: Sadness

The child wrote: There is a ditch in front of my house. It’s sad.

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Teacher’s comment: The teacher is even sadder

5. Topic: And...and...

The child writes: My mother is short, tall, fat and thin. .

Teacher’s comment: Is your mother a Transformer?

6. Question: Look.

Children wrote: What are you looking at? Go ahead

Teacher’s comment: I haven’t seen it

7. Topic: Xingxingrong

Children write: Xingxingrong’s confession

Teacher’s comment. : Don’t watch too many TV series!

8. Topic: Delicious

Children wrote: Tasty as hell

Teacher’s comment: Some things are not allowed. Food.

9. Topic: Innocence

Children wrote: It’s so hot today.

Teacher’s comment: You are so naive.

10. Topic: Sure enough

The child wrote: Yesterday I ate fruit and then drank cold water.

Teacher’s comment: Yes

11. Topic: First... Again..., example: Eat first, then take a bath.

Children wrote: Goodbye, sir!

Teacher’s comment: Imagination exceeds the wisdom of people on earth.

12. Topic: Moreover

Children wrote: A train passed by, besides, besides, besides, besides, besides, besides.

Teacher’s comments: I’ll just die

There was a traffic accident, and many people were watching. A reporter couldn't squeeze in. He had an idea and shouted: I am the son of the injured, please give way! Sure enough, the onlookers moved out of the way, and the reporter went over and saw that it was a pig that was crushed to death!

When we first entered school, the whole class introduced themselves. A male classmate walked up to the podium: "My name is Wang Peng. I come from Beijing. I love playing chess!"

After saying that, he went down. The next person was a girl. The girl walked up to the podium shyly and said nervously. Self-introduction: "I...my name is Xia Qi..."

There is a man who has a magic pig. He doesn't want it anymore, so he wants to get rid of the pig, send it outside and the pig comes back! Once he sent the pig to a far away place, and later he called his wife and said: "Is the pig back?"

The wife said: "It's back!"

He Said: "Ask the pig to pick me up, I'm lost." One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "1+1=?", Xiao Ming said: "I don't know." The teacher said: "Ask your family."

He went to ask his mother, but her mother quarreled again and said, "You son of a bitch." He went to ask his grandfather, who was watching TV and said, "The gang boss." He went to ask his sister, who was singing the national anthem and said: “Go forward, come in! I went to ask my brother again. My brother ate ice cream again and said, "It feels so good!" I went to ask my sister again. My sister was singing a children's song and said, "Little rabbit, be good and open the door."

The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming 1+1=? Xiao Ming said: "Son of a bitch.'" The teacher said: "Who taught you this?" Xiao Ming said: "Gangster boss." The teacher said: "What are you doing?" Xiao Ming said: "Go ahead, come in!" After class, the teacher asked how it was? Xiao Ming said : “It’s so cool! Xiao Ming closed the teacher's bar, and Xiao Ming said: "Little rabbit, be good, open the door, the teacher is down.