Chatting a lot? It's time to improve your adaptability.

The ability to improvise is one of the important characteristics of good eloquence.

In social activities, a person's ability to improvise will play a decisive role in whether he can actively deal with the obstacles encountered in the conversation.

Many people are afraid of dealing with people, largely because they can't cope with the "conversation obstacles" with the people they communicate with, such as silence, embarrassment, provocation and rebuttal. Always worry that what others say will make you speechless immediately.

When these "conversation obstacles" are beyond their control, out of self-protection, these people often choose to isolate and escape, not to contact such complicated and changeable social occasions.

Chatting online, because of the lag of conversation time, has enough time to think for yourself, even if you encounter various "conversation obstacles", you can speak your thoughts without scruple.

However, in real life, the reaction between dialogues often needs us to make in a short time, and the quality of the reaction will also bring us some consequences to bear. Under this psychological pressure, many people can't make a decent and appropriate response so freely.

Therefore, improving the ability of improvisation will be of great help to improve your eloquence and communication skills.

The so-called improvisation refers to the speaker's on-the-spot emergency response to some sudden situations in the process of talking with people.

Our reactions to external information are generally divided into two types: passive and active.

Passive response is to calmly respond to unexpected situations and difficulties without early warning and preparation.

This kind of improvisation is not initiated by ourselves, but a passive behavior that responds immediately according to external changes. For example, during the speech, the interviewee suddenly played an inappropriate joke on you, or you accidentally said a dirty word, which made everyone suddenly embarrassed, and so on. It is an unexpected situation that you can't predict in advance.

In this case, the outside world forces you to react, otherwise, your conversation may get stuck and cannot continue smoothly. At this time, you need to improvise to change this situation. Wang Han once delivered an impromptu rescue speech in the face of Sun Nan's abstention in "I am a singer", which belongs to this passive response.

As for active response, it refers to capturing new information in time in communication or personal conversation, and quickly integrating and transforming this information through the rapid mobilization of self-thinking, making it one of the materials of the topic, thus changing the conversation atmosphere. This is what we often call "improvisation".

Although the emergence of "new information" is accidental, when you can grasp this new information and then interpret it through self-thinking to make it the material of conversation, then this kind of improvisation is active behavior.

For example, a girl often tells others that she is always driven by others, and she can drive as she wants and has never had an accident. Faced with this sentence, most people must be surprised or puzzled. These are normal reactions.

But in the face of this "new information", if you take the initiative to respond, through the transformation of self-thinking, you can say to this girl impromptu: "Are you driving a bumper car? Also, those children saw such a silly big sister driving a bumper car, and everyone let you! "

This kind of active reaction needs you to grasp the reaction opportunity well, otherwise you will miss the best reaction opportunity, and it will be difficult to play a corresponding role if you are interrupted again.

Of course, whether passive or active, we can't blindly pursue reaction for the sake of reaction. Chatty and jokes that interrupt or don't help the conversation topic for no reason, even if you react well, will only interrupt the smooth conversation, thus affecting everyone's psychological feelings when chatting-unless the other party deserves to be scolded.

Responding to people, places, times and events is a sign of maturity.

On-the-spot reaction doesn't come out of thin air.

You must have the idea of cultivating and developing this ability. To improve your on-the-spot ability, you must have three qualities:

What is the psychological quality of being calm?

That is to say, no matter what happens, our mood swings remain at a relatively stable level, so this unhurried psychological state is a calm performance.

The only way to improve this psychological quality is to put yourself in a tense situation, and then try to put on a "calm" posture to make yourself look as if nothing had happened; Hold your head high, look confident, control your body not to grovel and tremble, and your brain will slowly adjust this tension for you.

At the same time, when you encounter unexpected things, such as sudden noise or unexpected vibration, many people will subconsciously shout it out.

The way of thinking will affect your behavior. Similarly, your behavior will also affect your way of thinking.

So when you encounter something that makes you nervous, don't show your nervousness through behavior and forcibly control yourself. Because as long as you show a nervous state, the brain will mobilize all the senses of the body to amplify this fear, which will make you lose your thinking ability and let you fall into a conditioned but irrational self-protection behavior.

For example, some people want to make a hullabaloo about when something happens. This human "survival instinct" is an irrational self-protection behavior influenced by fear. Sometimes this kind of behavior will be useful, but more often it will be counterproductive. Driving in an accident and panicking may cause more harm. People with strong psychological quality must be silent, react quickly, use the magnified senses on the body, calmly deal with them and reduce the harm caused by accidents.

Only through such deliberate practice can you improve your psychological endurance in the face of pressure. Strong psychological quality is good for you only when facing danger.

In social activities, if you are in a state of depression, irritability and anxiety, it is difficult for you to mobilize your smart thinking to respond when you encounter a "conversation obstacle", and you are too lazy to respond.

But if you have good psychological quality, can actively overcome this negative emotion and keep a positive attitude, you can cope well.

A positive attitude means that you actively think about all kinds of possibilities, rather than passively accepting a kind of information given to you by objective reality.

Imagine you are a host, and you stand on the stage and talk. Suddenly, all the lights on the stage went out, leaving only sporadic lights around. Audience unknown so, what should you do now?

As a host, you should show the ability to control the field and know how to appease the audience's emotions, instead of being passive and at a loss like them.

I said this: "Don't worry, it's just some technical problems. I'm sure the technicians will take care of them soon. Since the whole occasion is bleak now, how about taking this opportunity to have a night talk around the stove and under the lights around us? I remember when I was a child, my favorite moment was the moment of power failure. Because at that time, I could light some candles and sit on the balcony and chat with my family and even friends. I can't forget this warm and calm feeling. So sometimes, a sudden accident may not bring us harm, maybe it is an unexpected surprise ... "

As long as your response can meet the needs of the occasion and the current environment, this is a good response. To do this, we must actively think about possible situations and then simulate the response.

For example, what happens if you stand on the side of the road and want to run out of the middle of the road? See the four sharp corners on the table, and then think about what will happen if you accidentally touch them?

With these awareness, I believe you can avoid many accidents, make corresponding preparations and take the initiative to control the scene.

I won't say much about this. Many times your on-the-spot reaction is directly related to how much knowledge and experience you have accumulated.

For example, the lights on the upper stage went out. If I hadn't experienced the moment of lighting candles when I was a child, it would be difficult for me to connect the two situations.

If you don't have a certain knowledge reserve and life experience, it is really difficult to respond immediately.

Under the premise of ensuring our personal safety, learning different things and contacting different things will be of great help to expand our metacognition. And these perceptions will in turn improve our thinking ability, so some small problems that once seemed to be the end of the world will become insignificant.

I'm still working hard on this, after all, it's never too old to learn. I hope that if you read this article, don't limit yourself in advance. You deserve a wider sky.

There is no specific model to deal with the strategy of improvisation. Only general coping strategies are shared here.

After thinking and digesting, everyone should use it according to their own conversation characteristics, so as to achieve "no tricks to win."

The above example of turning off the lights is an application of homeopathic association.

Linking this event with the previous power outage, integrating event A and time B, through analogical thinking, the similarity of "accidents may not hurt us, but we may get a surprise" is obtained, which turns the accident of turning off the lights into a surprise and relieves the mood of the audience.

In fact, many hosts have done this trick. When a host visited a guest and talked about the hot topic in the entertainment circle on the stage, the microphone suddenly became silent. After a short adjustment, the host said, "So even if the microphone doesn't let us speak, it can't stop us from expressing a critical attitude towards it."

When you encounter a "conversation obstacle", try to think about whether this obstacle can be related to something at the moment, and then solve it.

Deliberate misinterpretation refers to deliberately understanding the meaning expressed by the speaker into another meaning and turning passivity into initiative.

When I was on the Didi Express, the driver suddenly picked up the mobile phone with malicious intent and handed it to you, saying, "Beauty, you are so beautiful, be a friend!"

You know he asked you to leave your contact information, but you deliberately misinterpreted it and answered his phone and said, "How do you know to be friends with me? You should call me first and prepare to call the police, right? "

I believe that when the other party hears your reaction, they all know that you are not a good man and a good woman.

Deliberate misinterpretation is also one of the most useful techniques in using humor. There is such a joke:

On the bus, a man and a woman accidentally bumped into each other because of overcrowding. The woman couldn't help cursing: "Are you sick?" Unknown so, a boy, had to answer, "Excuse me, do you have any medicine?" The woman felt very angry and continued to scold: "See a doctor if you are sick!" " The man said flatly, "Do you have a familiar doctor?"

Language is full of uncertainty and fuzziness. Usually pay attention to the various meanings contained in a sentence, and then understand it from another direction, you can gradually master this ability to misinterpret thinking.

This technique is a double-edged sword, which is good for joking, but it is a bit bad if it is used to justify your mistakes.

Sometimes you suddenly slip of the tongue. To avoid embarrassment, you can excuse this mistake and make it look like you did it on purpose.

For example, drinking with friends, you obviously want to say "it's really painful to drink with you", but you say "it's really painful". Your friend was stunned when he heard this, waiting for your explanation. At this time, you can directly say that you actually want to say "happy".

Of course, you can also use your wit to explain to him: "Because you don't have enough to drink and the time together is so short, this feeling is really too bad. Isn't it painful?"

This is a round for yourself.

In life, sometimes it's easy to make a lot of such low-level slips of the tongue and explain them immediately, but it's hard to face, and it's embarrassing not to explain others. At this time, they can only make up for themselves through such self-defense.

If you use it well, it will be very helpful to maintain your image, but if you really do something wrong and embarrass others, just apologize!

Sometimes people will deliberately make things difficult for you, and you have no time to react, so changing the subject is also a way to protect yourself.

When someone asks you aggressively, once you show timidity, embarrassment and nervousness, you will be passive and follow the other person's ideas. In order to turn passivity into initiative, you should regain control of the topic.

For example, you have only been in love twice, but someone deliberately asked you, "As a girl, aren't your parents ashamed to have been in love with so many boys?"

If you swear, you may be fooled, and it is easy to fall into the trap of the other party by refuting the explanation. So the correct way is to change the subject and ask, "Aren't your parents ashamed of asking a girl such a personal question?"

If the other person answers, "My parents won't be ashamed!" You continue to say, "Yes, my parents will not be ashamed of not answering your boring question!" " "

The above four coping strategies are only basic coping styles and cannot cover all situations in life. Accumulate and sum up experience at any time and enrich your strategic treasure house, so as to calmly deal with all kinds of unexpected accidents.

In short, improvisation involves our own thinking quality, knowledge cultivation, language reserve and psychological quality. We should consciously improve our ability level and exercise consciously.

Over time, after you speak, even in the face of unexpected situations, your reaction will be more leisurely.

If you want to continue to improve your eloquence and learn how to exercise, you can read my other related articles; I don't want to read the text, but there is also an audio version.

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