Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Ancient and modern Chinese and foreign classic fables? ten

Ancient and modern Chinese and foreign classic fables? ten

1, Hei Hu's cultivation

Hei Hu and Xiong Yi used to be in cahoots. They gather in the mountains, do evil, and often kill small creatures to satisfy their appetite. Therefore, they are notorious in the animal kingdom and hated by everyone.

On this day, Hei Hu was surprised to find that Xiong Bi didn't know when he became the patron saint of Laguna Mountain, and looked at it with a black tassel pike in his hand every day. He didn't feel particularly envious, so he couldn't wait to ask Xiong Bi for advice. "Brother Xiong Bi, when did you come to Putuo Mountain to take care of the Dojo for Guanyin Bodhisattva?"

Hei Hu asked Xiong Bi with wistful eyes, "Tell me how you converted to Buddhism?" "Ha ha, isn't this a very simple thing?" Xiong Yi foolishly replied, "Now I worship Buddha with avalokitesvara and recite the scriptures three hundred times a day. Can't I achieve positive results? " It turns out that cultivation is so simple.

Hei Hu was overjoyed. He thanked Xiong Bi and went home happily. From then on, he learned to wear beads to close his eyes, play wooden fish all day, and say something. But after a few days, I found that I had not become a Buddha. What's going on here? Hei Hu could not sit still. He ran anxiously to find Xiong Bi.

I want to make it clear: "Brother, I have been sincerely chanting Buddha for so many days according to your statement, why haven't I achieved a positive result?" "Yes, what's the matter?" Xiong Yi doesn't understand either. He touched the back of his head, looked at Hei Hu and asked, "How do you practice on weekdays?" "I shouted at your command in the morning and evening.

Go out and catch some goats, deer, wild boar, foxes and rabbits every noon, and spend the rest of the time chanting! "Hei Hu replied gloomily," Oh, I said Emoko, who told you to chant Buddhist scripture so much? "Hearing this, Xiong Yi complained repeatedly:" To become a Buddha, meditation is no problem.

But you can't do superficial things. The key is to abandon evil and do good, forbid killing and fasting-haven't you heard the Buddhist saying' put down the butcher's knife and become a Buddha' ""What, you want to ban killing and meat eating? There are too many things I can't do! " Black Hu shook his head again and again.

"Then there is no way." Xiong Wei spread out his hands helplessly and said, "You want to kill things and get positive results. You want to become a Buddha, but you don't want to put down the butcher knife. How can there be such a beautiful job under the sun? I dare to assert that you will never achieve a positive result in your life! "

2. Compassionate elephants

The fox went out for food and unfortunately fell into a trap. It's jumping and crawling, only an inch away from it. The fox finally despaired. An elephant passed by and saw it, and loudly condemned, "Who has done such a wicked thing is unforgivable!" " It is unforgivable to set traps to harm creatures like this. Are you not afraid of retribution and punishment? "

"Come on, big brother, give me a hand." Seeing an elephant is like seeing a savior. The fox was relieved. His eyes were full of prayers, and he couldn't wait to ask the elephant for help.

"Oh, poor thing, how did this happen?" Seeing the fox struggling at the bottom of a trap more than one meter deep, the elephant expressed deep sympathy and was moved to hide. It puts itself in the fox's shoes: "That gloomy trap is a hell on earth. How can you stay?" Oh, this really makes me feel sorry for you! "

"Hey, brother Xiang, help me up before I teach you. I can't stand it down there! " The fox is a little anxious. He urged the elephant, hoping that it would come to the rescue as soon as possible: "Besides, once this damn hunter gets into trouble, it will be big."

"Well, then again, you have only yourself to blame, but you can't blame others. Who let you be so careless and have no sense of prevention? " Ignoring the fox's urging, the elephant still slowly expressed his feelings: "You know, there are risks everywhere in this world! Listen to my brother's advice: learn a lesson well and be more careful in the future. "

"I said ancestors, a thousand words are not as good as one action. Can you stick out your long nose to save me? It's just a little effort for you. " The fox is completely anxious.

"That's impossible. This joke cannot be opened. " The elephant touched his long nose and said solemnly, "What if you pull my nose out or drag me into a trap?" You'd better be patient a little longer. I'll call someone to save you right away. And I have a lot of things to do, so I won't accompany you. "Say, leave the fox and turn away.

The fox rejoiced in vain, looking at the fading elephant. It is deeply impressed: "Alas! I finally understand that when you are in trouble, the more compassionate you are, the more you will say good things, and the more you may not be able to help you! "

Step 3 apologize humbly

During the Warring States Period, Lin Xiangru of Zhao went to Qin several times, and all of them went to see the king of Qin with him. Every time, he defeated the arrogant king of Qin with his great wisdom and courage. So the prince of Zhao attached great importance to Lin Xiangru and promoted him to Shangqing, ranking above the old general Lian Po.

Lian Po, a general with outstanding military exploits, was unconvinced when he saw that Lin Xiangru's official position was higher than his own. He threatened everywhere: "I have made great contributions to Zhao's life and death, attacking the city and seizing the land." And this Lin Xiangru, from humble origins, can be above me with a golden word, which really embarrasses me! When I see Lin Xiangru again in the future, I must humiliate him in front of everyone. "

When Lin Xiangru heard about it, he always avoided Lian Po everywhere. On one occasion, Lin Xiangru was walking in the street by car when he suddenly saw Lian Po's carriage coming head-on. He quickly ordered his car to turn into an alley, and when Lian Po's chariots and horses passed by, he came out of the alley and moved on. Lin Xiangru's followers saw that their master had given Lian Po a concession, and they seemed very afraid of Lian Po.

They all felt humiliated, so they talked about leaving Lin Xiangru. When Lin Xiangru knew this, he called them in and asked them, "Do you think Qin Wang is better or Lian Po is better?" The attendants said in unison, "Lian Po is not as good as the king of Qin!"

Lin Xiangru said, "Here it is. Everyone knows that the king of Qin is powerful, but I'm not even afraid of the king of Qin in Megatron. How can I be afraid of General Lian? The reason why I don't conflict with General Lian is because I put national interests first! You see, the reason why Qin did not dare to invade Zhao was because Zhao had me and General Lian.

If we fight, it's like two tigers fighting. In this way, there will be a wound, Zhao's strength will be weakened, and Zhao will be in danger. So I don't care about general Lian, it's all for Zhao! "Later, these words reached Lian Po, and Lian Po was greatly moved. He thought of his disrespectful words and actions towards Lin Xiangru and felt that he was wrong. He is really ashamed, very ashamed.

What a frank old general Lian Po, stripped naked and carrying Vitex negundo, went to Lin Xiangru Palace to confess his sins in person. Lin Xiangru hurriedly rolled up the old general. From then on, Lian Po and Lin Xiangru, two people, United as one, served their country and established a lifelong friendship. Some vassal States were afraid to invade Zhao after hearing about it.

Lin Xiangru's integrity of putting national interests first, and Lian Po's frank heart of correcting mistakes, are inspiring people to always put the overall situation first and national interests first.

4. Buddhism is like a deep stream.

A man named Dong Kunyu was sent to Shangdi, Zhao, as a local governor. Dong Kun is a newcomer. He went deep into the folk investigation and visited the people's customs. On this day, he came to Shiyi Mountain and saw a deep stream in the mountain. The wall of the stream is steep, like an axe and a city wall. This stream is one hundred feet deep and very dangerous.

So Dong Kun found someone who lived in the local area and asked, "Did anyone here fall into this deep stream?" The people there replied, "No one has ever fallen in." Dong Kunyu asked again, "Are there any children, idiots, deaf-mutes, lunatics or perverts who have fallen in?" The people there replied, "No."

Dong Kunyu continued to ask, "Have cows, horses, pigs and dogs ever fallen in?" People still saidno. Dong Kun thought about it and said, "Why didn't anyone fall into this deep stream?" People replied, "This deep stream is very dark and dangerous. If someone enters it, will there be life? "

Therefore, no matter who approaches this deep stream, they are extremely careful or take a detour. No one dares to touch this danger, even livestock will stop when they see this deep stream. "Dong Kui be suddenly enlightened. He clapped his hands and sighed with inspiration: "Well, I can govern my subjects well.

If I make a strict legal system and enforce the law strictly without mercy, and let people know that breaking the law is as dangerous as falling into this deep stream, then no one will break the law. So, what else can I do? "

Smart people can always be inspired by the little things around them and gain wisdom. The person in power is connected with the law enforcement from the dangerous beach and deep stream, and it is conceivable that he will have outstanding achievements in the future.

5. Zixia Mi fell out of favour.

Zixia Mi is a handsome man who defends the country. He was a minister around Wei Linggong and was very popular with the king. There are two things that best illustrate Wei Linggong's affection for Zixia Mi. One is Zixia Mi driving Wang Wei's carriage privately. On one occasion, Zixia Mi's mother was seriously ill. The messenger took a shortcut in the dark and told him the news that night.

In an instant, Zixia Mi's heart was burning, and he couldn't wait to put on his wings and fly to his mother. But the capital is far from home, how can we get what we want? The Law on Protecting the Country and Defending the Country clearly stipulates that those who drive the king's carriage privately should be tried and punished. In order to go home as soon as possible to seek medical treatment for his mother, regardless of his personal safety, Zixia Mi made a false decree to let the driver drive Wei Linggong's car to take him home.

Later, when Wei Linggong learned about it, instead of punishing Zixia Mi, he praised him and said, "You are really a dutiful son! In order to seek medical treatment for my mother, I am not even afraid of the punishment of breaking my foot. " Wang Wei accepted Zixia Mi's half-eaten peach, which is the second typical example of Wei Linggong's love for Zixia Mi. Here's the thing.

One day, Zixia Mi accompanied Wei Linggong to visit the orchard. At that time, peaches were ripe, and the peach trees in the garden were full of white and red fruits. The breeze slowly brings the intoxicating fragrance of peaches, which makes people drool. Zixia Mi reached out and picked a big, ripe peach. Without washing or wiping, she took a big bite and ate it.

The fresh and refreshing taste he felt when he picked it was something he had never experienced before. Halfway through the meal, he thought of Wang Wei around him. Zixia Mi handed the leftover half to Wang Wei to share. Wei Linggong doesn't care that it's Zixia Mi's leftover peaches. He said romantically, "You really love me by sending me delicious peaches!"

Zixia Mi is old, and his face looks old. Wei Linggong lost his enthusiasm for him. At this time, if Zixia Mi offended Wang Wei, Wei Linggong would not only give in to him as in the past, but also list Zixia Mi's fault: "This guy used my car without authorization before; Disrespectful, give me the unfinished peach.

So far, he still doesn't change his old habits and is still doing things that offend me! "Zixia Mi from young to old, always regard Wei Linggong as one of his friends, free in front of Wang Wei. But Wang Wei is different.

He took his age and appearance as the basis of his likes and dislikes, thus showing a completely opposite attitude towards the same thing that Zixia Mi did. So no matter what the nature of things is, it is very wrong to decide likes and dislikes only according to superficial phenomena.

6. A proud horse

Once upon a time, there was a rich man. He has a very beautiful big horse. He put a golden halter on the horse, a richly decorated saddle and a silk cushion embroidered with gold thread. The horse became very arrogant when it saw that its owner had dressed it up so beautifully.

One day, the horse was tied to the fence. It bit off the reins and ran away screaming. I didn't run far when a donkey came in front of me, carrying a heavy bag on his back and trudging step by step. The horse, chewing tinplate and full of foam, shouted angrily from a distance, "get out of the way!" Who told you you didn't know to make way for me?

Get out of here at once, or wait for me to beat you to death and have you towed away? "The donkey was taken aback, hurriedly escorting, also dare not complain. The horse jumped to its feet and sped through the bushes. However, just as he rushed through the bushes, his calf bone was injured. I can't be a mount anymore.

Its owner unloaded the golden halter and saddle and sold it to a coachman. Since then, the horse has to pull the scooter to work every day. When the donkey meets the horse again, the donkey shouts, "Hello, friend! How did you get here? Ah! Where's your golden halter? Where's your shiny silk cushion? Why didn't I see it?

Oh, dear friend, it is often the case in the world that arrogance will be punished. "When you are in the apprentice, disasters are often waiting at the door. Everyone must think of this. People standing, be careful not to fall.

7. Decisive Ban Chao

During the Eastern Han Dynasty, Ban Chao helped his brother Ban Gu to write Hanshu, but he thought that one's ambition should not be limited to paper and pencil, so he abandoned literature and joined the fight against Xiongnu. His resolute and decisive character made him make many contributions on the battlefield. Later, in order to unite with other countries in the Western Regions to resist the invasion of Xiongnu, the Eastern Han Dynasty sent Ban Chao as an envoy to the Western Regions.

Ban Chao, armed with a scepter of the Han Dynasty, set off with a delegation of 36 people. They came to Shanshan county for the first time. Ban Chao met King Shanshan and said, "Your Majesty, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty sent me here in the hope of uniting your country against the Huns. The Huns invaded us and suffered a lot. We should join hands and share the same enemy, so that the Huns will not dare to rampage again! "

King Shanshan knew long ago that the Han Dynasty had a vast territory, strong national strength and a large population, which should not be underestimated. Now seeing that the envoys of the Han Dynasty were dignified and powerful, they really deserved their reputation. He nodded and said, "You are absolutely right. Please stay in the humble country for a few days to jointly resist the Huns. Let's talk about it in a couple of days. "

So Ban Chao and the others stayed. In the first few days, King Shanshan treated them warmly, but before long, Ban Chao noticed that the king was becoming more and more indifferent to them. Not only did he often make excuses to avoid their disappearance, but he finally met them, and he never mentioned the joint fight against the Huns.

Ban Chao had an ominous premonition. He called the people in the mission to analyze and said, "King Shanshan is becoming more and more unfriendly to us. I guess the Huns also sent someone to lobby him. We must explore and find out the truth. " In the evening, Ban Chao sent someone to sneak into the palace, and sure enough, he found the king talking and laughing with the messenger of Xiongnu.

It seems like speculation. I will report the news to Ban Chao as soon as I come back. In the next few days, Ban Chao tried to learn from the people who received them that the Huns not only sent envoys, but also brought 100 armed followers and guards. He immediately realized that the situation had reached a very serious level and immediately called a mission to study countermeasures.

Ban Chao said to everyone, "The Huns did have messengers to persuade King Shanshan. Now we are in great danger. If effective measures are not taken, we will be the victims of his alliance with Xiongnu. At that time, our self-protection will become a trivial matter, and the mission entrusted by the state will not be completed. What do you say? "

Everyone said in unison, "We obey your orders!" Ban Chao struck the table and said decisively, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Now we can only complete our mission if we are determined to destroy the Huns! " That night, Ban Chao took people into the camp where the Huns were stationed. Take advantage of its unprepared, win more with less, and finally destroy the Huns 100 people.

8. the eagle and the fox

Shan Ying and the fox became friends. In order to strengthen their friendship, they decided to live together. So the eagle flew to a big tree, built a nest to hatch its offspring, and the fox got into the bushes under the tree to give birth.

One day, the fox went out for food, and the eagle just stopped cooking. He flew into the bush, snatched the little fox away and had a hearty meal with the little eagle. When the fox came back, he knew it was an eagle. He is sad for the death of his child, and the saddest thing is that he can't get revenge for a while, because he is an animal and can only run on the ground and can't chase birds.

So he had to stand at a distance and curse the enemy, which was the only thing the weak could do. Soon, the eagle's treachery was also severely punished. Once, someone killed sheep in the wild to sacrifice to the gods, and the eagle flew down, grabbed the mutton with fire from the altar and brought it back to the nest.

At this time, a strong wind blew, and the tiny dry branches in the nest immediately ignited a fierce flame. Those fledgling eagles were burned to death and fell from trees. The fox ran over and ate all the young eagles in front of the eagle.

This story shows that God will punish a faithless person, even if the victim is weak and unable to retaliate against him.

9. The fox and goat fell into the well

A fox slipped and fell into a well. No matter how hard he struggled, he still couldn't climb up and had to stay there. The goat was so thirsty that he came to the well and saw a fox in it. He asked him if the well water was good. The fox felt that the opportunity had come, and his heart exulted. He immediately calmed down and praised the well water for its delicious taste.

Said that this water is the first spring in the world, sweet and refreshing, and advised the goat to come down and drink with him. The goat who just wanted to drink water jumped down without thinking. After drinking, he had to consult with the fox about the way to the well. The fox is ready. He said slyly, "I have an idea.

You step on the wall with your front foot, then straighten the corner. I will jump into the well from behind you and pull you up. We are all saved. The goat agreed to his proposal, and the fox stepped on his hind foot, jumped on his back, and then jumped out of the wellhead with a strong jump from the corner. After the fox went up, he was ready to escape alone. The goat accused the fox of breaking his promise.

The fox turned to the goat and said, "Hey, friend, if your mind is as perfect as your beard, you won't jump blindly before you see the exit clearly." This story shows that a wise man should think clearly about the result of something before doing it.

10, smart and wise

The fox cheated the crow of a piece of meat and was seen by the elephant. The fox said happily to the elephant, "See? Am I smart? " "I saw it all, you are very smart." "Do you want me to teach you a few tricks? It's too hard to see you looking for wild fruits all over the mountain! " "That's not necessary," said the elephant. "I have my own principles of survival."

A few days later, the fox played a trick of "confusing the real with the fake", deceiving the king tiger and all the animals, and was caught by the elephant. "You saw it again!" The fox said discontentedly, "But well, you can prove that I am really smart." "Yes, I can prove that you are really smart." Later, the fox went to steal the chicken and was caught in an iron cage. The elephant also saw this.

"Let you see a joke!" The fox said gloomily, "Do you still admit that I am smart?" "I also admit that you are very smart. However, you are just smart, but you lack great wisdom! " "What do you mean?"

"I mean, honesty, honesty and honesty, which seems to have nothing to do with intelligence, actually contains great wisdom in life; Playing tricks may be successful for a while, but sooner or later you will suffer! "