A joke that makes people in a bad mood happy.

A joke that makes people in a bad mood happy.

Jokes that make people in a bad mood happy. Some people have big mood swings and are often inexplicably sentimental, and then they will find someone to talk to. If they can't, they will only hold it in their own minds. Share a joke that makes people in a bad mood happy.

A joke that makes people in a bad mood happy 1 1. On the wedding night, the groom excitedly lifted the bride's red veil, only to find that it was another woman. Surprised and happy, he quickly asked, "Girl, who are you?"

The girl smiled, blushed and whispered, "The bride is drunk, I am the maid of honor, and the offspring of the wine will get married!" " "

2. Gong Yu moved mountains all his life. Before he died, he called his sons to the bed and said to them with his last breath, "Move mountains, move mountains ..."

The sons held Gong Yu's hand tightly and replied affectionately: "Move mountains, move mountains, shine!" "

3. A teacher asked three students in the class, "Who is the tallest in China?"

The first classmate quickly replied, "Yao Ming is the tallest."

The second classmate thought it was wrong and immediately retorted, "The Leshan Giant Buddha in our place is much taller than Yao Ming, at least 70 meters."

The third student confidently added: "More than 70 meters is just the height he sits. If he stands up, it is at least 100 meters. "

On my way back, I met two Frenchmen. One may be a Chinese teacher, and the other should be his student.

The teacher happily pointed to the China calendar and said to the students, "Look, these two words pronounce Lei Feng. This is Lei Feng Memorial Day. He is famous in China because he helped many people before his death. "

The student said admiringly, "Teacher, you are really well informed!"

With that, they left happily. I leaned down and saw the first frost written on the calendar!

In the elevator, a beautiful mother took a lovely little girl and a strange man. In order to avoid embarrassment, the strange man took a lollipop out of his pocket and handed it to the little girl.

Then, the beautiful mother asked the little girl, "What should you say when someone gives you something?"

The little girl replied, "Uncle, do you have any more? My mother wants it too. "

6. A couple were traveling in the wild when they suddenly met a tiger. The husband did not hesitate to go up and fight with the tiger, and finally drove it away.

The wife said to her husband, "You are so brave. You are not afraid of such a big tiger. "

The husband replied, "What is there to be afraid of? I have lived with you, a tigress, for so many years. "

7. Xiaoming: "Master, what do you think is the happiest thing in life?"

The master caught a ladybug, wrapped it in flour and gave it to Xiaoming.

Xiao Ming: "Master, do you mean that although people are as small as insects, they will crawl in the dust all their lives, and they will certainly meet happy things?"

Host: "No, it's Bai Piao."

8. The beauty found that the lipstick was too heavy, so she wiped it with a wet towel and threw it on the road. It happened to be picked up by an old man. After reading it for a long time, the old man suddenly woke up and caught up with him and said, "Girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off!

9. The aunt of the neighborhood committee saw a little girl standing at the door and asked, "Son, what are you doing standing at the door alone in the cold weather?" Why not stay in the room? "

The little girl replied, "Mom and Dad are quarreling."

The aunt of the neighborhood Committee said, "What a shame. Who is your father?"

The little girl replied, "That's why they quarreled."

10, a man went to the barber shop for a haircut. He said to his boss, "I'm in a hurry. Don't be too slow. Just fix it."

The boss said, "Even if I am faster, I can't just whew."

1 1. A couple is fishing by the river. This lady is always quarrelling. After a while, the fish was hooked, and the lady said, "What a poor fish!" "

The husband said, "Yes, just keep your mouth shut."

12, there is an old man named Tie who has no hair. What happened to him? The answer is: there is nothing wrong with the old iron.

13, a match went shopping. When I walked, my scalp suddenly itched, so I scratched my head. I didn't expect it to catch fire. After I went to the hospital, it became a cotton swab.

14, I have a friend, his name is Zhu Chuan, and his mother always says, "This is for our family Zhu Chuan."

15, I heard that putting your mobile phone next to the pillow when you sleep will cause radiation, which is not good for your health, so you definitely lost the pillow when you sleep.

16, I was idle in the office today, so I took out my magnet to play. Unfortunately, the leader saw it, and the leader reached out and took it away. As a result, the magnet was attracted by the leader's gold ring, which was super embarrassing.

17, I just turned over my resume and saw the resume of a graduate. He wrote in the column of award-winning experience that he won Master Kong's "One more bottle" award many times during his school days!

18, a Japanese came to China to see a dentist. As a result, the two men fought. When the police asked, they knew that the dentist had said something to the Japanese, "Pull out a tooth."

19, you know? When Tang Priest was trapped in his daughter country, he actually took a fancy to the beautiful female emperor. The female king asked him if he wanted to marry, and Tang Priest said cheerfully, "Marry!" Then he ran away with Tang Priest on his back for nothing.

20. One day, Zhao Yun hurt his ass and went to Huatuo for help. Just as he was about to sit down, Hua Tuo shouted, "General, don't sit down if you are injured."

Zhao Yun replied: "Does your family drive a high-speed train? There is also a business seat? "

2 1, Cao Cao took his son Cao Chong to visit Liu Bei. Cao Cao went to the door and shouted, "Cao Cao came to visit with his youngest son."

Liu Bei said, "Oh, come as soon as you come. What fruit do you bring? "

22. One day, the Tang Priest asked Bajie, "Do you know what hoop Wukong is wearing?"

Pig thought for a moment and said, "Hericium erinaceus hoop."

23. One day, my roommate in the lower bunk was eating instant noodles. At this time, while eating, he suddenly said, "How can this instant noodle have brittle bones?" So, I silently put away the nail clippers on the upper bunk.

24. One day, the little snake nervously asked his brother, "Are we poisonous?"

The snake said, "Why do you ask?"

The little snake said, "I just bit my tongue by accident."

25. Today is Halloween, I'm going to buy pumpkins. My boss specially picked out a big one for me. I said, "I can't eat it all by myself."

The boss said, "I thought you used it as a mask."

26. The father walked into his son's room, praised him and said, "Well done, son. The windows are clean and bright. Did you wipe it with soapy water? "

The son replied, "No, I used a hammer."

27. There is a colleague in the unit, Mongolian, who goes home for a holiday during the New Year. After a few days off, he still didn't come back. The leader called him.

He said on the phone: "Leader, I am still riding on the Hulunbeier grassland to find a home. My family is a nomadic people, and now I don't know where to move. "

28. My husband came home from work and found his wife lying on the sofa. The husband asked with concern, "Wife, are you uncomfortable?"

The wife nodded, and the husband quickly comforted: "You don't have to worry about cooking. I'll take you to the kitchen later. "

29. Watching the Romance of the Three Kingdoms with my wife, I said smoothly, "What do you think I can do in the Three Kingdoms?"

The wife said, "Tie it to a straw boat and borrow an arrow."

30. One day, when the elephant went to the toilet and ran out of toilet paper, he asked the little white rabbit next to him, "Are you afraid of losing hair?" The white rabbit replied, "I'm not afraid." So the elephant grabbed the white rabbit and wiped his ass.

The next day, the elephant forgot to bring toilet paper for dinner, and then asked the little squirrel next to him, "Are you afraid of losing your hair?" The little squirrel replied, "I'm not afraid." So the elephant picked up the squirrel and wiped his mouth.

The little squirrel wiped his mouth and said, "Elephant, I was the white rabbit yesterday!" " "

3 1, the little mosquito said to his mother, "Mom, I just learned to fly, and I can fly very well."

Mom said, "How do you know?"

The little mosquito said, "I just went out for a walk, and many people applauded me."

32. I went to eat griddle bullfrog yesterday. A little girl at the next table asked her mother, "Mom, the little frog can't go home. Will her mother be anxious? "

Her mother stood there and the chopsticks in my hand stopped. How can I get rid of such a kind question?

At this time, the boss came to the rescue. The boss said to the little girl, "No, their whole family is with me."

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, "I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole." A man passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two. "

34. Once, a male colleague and a female colleague in our company quarreled. Suddenly, the male colleague praised the female colleague for being handsome and the female colleague was overjoyed.

Female colleague: "Really? What do you think? "

Male colleague: "As far as your appearance is concerned, your husband has no desire to see and can only concentrate on his career."

35. My wife helped me squeeze toothpaste today. I asked her, "Why did you remember to squeeze toothpaste for me today?"

The wife replied, "It's too crowded today. It's a pity that the sink fell, so I blew it with your toothbrush. "

Yesterday, I rode my bike through an alley, and suddenly a bike was in front of me. I was just about to hit it. I shouted, "You go left, I go right."

That day, the two of us lay in the alley for a long time.

37. In the morning, I took a shit in the public toilet. Soon, a man came in and took a shit. I was about to leave when he stopped me. He asked me what brand of tissue I used. It smells so good. Can you show him? After I showed it to him, it's still in the toilet.

One day, Zhuge Liang said to the wind, "Wind, wind, blow to the west.".

The wind said, "You are like a watermelon!"

39. There used to be a hide-and-seek club, but its leader has not been found yet!

40. I always thought that KFC's family buckets were eaten by the whole family. Later, I learned that it was the whole chicken family!

4 1, Uncle Liu accidentally fell into the well while walking. With the help of the villagers, Uncle Liu quickly adapted to the life in the well!

42. The green grape said to the purple grape, "Take a deep breath, your face is purple."

43. Wu Dalang's affection for Pan Jinlian is quite deep, which can be seen from drinking medicine.

44. I went to see the pigeon-letting competition today. When I arrived at the scene, I found that I was the only one.

45. One day, eggs went to drink tea. After drinking tea, it becomes a tea egg!

46. One day, two brothers sat together to eat and chat. One of them stood up and accused the other and said, "We are all good brothers and good buddies. Why get rich first? Your brothers will be unhappy if you upset the balance like this. Everyone is poor together. Is it not fragrant? "

47. Xiaohong asked Xiaoming, "Your mother and I fell into the water at the same time. Who will you save first? "

Xiao Ming replied, "Fool, I must have saved you first."

Xiaohong said shyly, "I am so touched. Why did you save me first, not your mother? "

Xiao Ming replied, "Because I saved you first, the water level dropped and my mother was saved."

48. The couple divorced for their children. In the court, the wife confidently said, "The child was born in my stomach, of course it is mine."

The husband said angrily, "Jokes are just nonsense. Does the money in the ATM belong to the ATM? " It's not who got the card. "

The wife went on to say, "If it comes out as counterfeit money, do you want it?" Of course, the judge fainted, and even the lawyer admired him.

49. The child asked his mother, "Mom, why did you marry your father?"

Mother said, "My mother was blind before she married your father."

The child asked his father again, "Why is our family so poor?"

Dad said, "all the money in our family has been given to your mother to treat her eyes."

50. There is a kind young man who gives money to beggars in the street every day 10 yuan. A few years later, he never stopped. Later, the young man spent more money on marriage, so he changed it to 5 yuan. Later, when he had children, his life became even more difficult, so he changed to 2 yuan.

One day, the beggar asked the young man, "Why do you give me less and less money?"

The young man said, "In the past, when one person had enough to eat, the whole family was not hungry. Now, with a wife, there is no money. "

Unexpectedly, the beggar was very unhappy and said angrily to the young man, "How can you support your wife and children with my money?"

Jokes that make people in a bad mood happy II. In fact, confession is not necessarily a good thing, and confession will be particularly black.

Second, the electric fan is man's best friend. I asked the electric fan, am I ugly? The fan shook its head silently all night.

When one or two people say I'm ugly, I don't think so, but when more and more people say I'm ugly, I know the seriousness of the matter: now there are more and more liars.

Fourth, I show my cards. Actually, I have a boyfriend, but I'm not very stable at present, and sometimes I can't dream of it.

As the saying goes, hard work may not be successful, but you will be comfortable for a while without hard work.

6. Real brothers, no matter how far apart we are, no matter how long we haven't been in touch, even if we change our mobile phone numbers several times, we can always find you when we want to borrow money.

Seven, once there was a sincere love in front of me, I didn't cherish it, and later I met a more sincere love.

Eight, everyone said that I have a bad temper, joking, good-looking, and good-tempered, that's fine.

Park your car at night, forget to bring your umbrella, and go home shivering in the rain. As soon as I entered the door, my daughter-in-law saw my teeth rattle, jumped on me with concern, grabbed me and asked, what did you eat?

Ten, "I am a good-tempered person, if one day someone steps on my bottom line." "What would that be like?" Then I'll lower the bottom line again. "

Someone asked me which is better, the lion or the tiger? I think a perm should be worse than a tattoo.

I don't want to afford a set of affordable housing at the current rate of rising house prices. I just hope I can afford an affordable grave when I am old!

Thirteen, I bought my girlfriend a bag of more than 20 thousand today. I didn't blink when I paid, and I passed out directly!

14. Schizophrenia was finally cured, and I decided to find a suitable partner. In order not to let my partner be lonely, I must find myself first.

15. My wife used to be very mean to me and always hit me. Since learning Sanda, she has been much more polite to me, bowing to me deeply before each start.

16. Why does grandma like her granddaughter's wife but not her daughter-in-law? Because the enemy of the enemy is a friend!

Seventeen, now you scold me because you don't know me yet. When you get to know me later, you will definitely hit me.

One day, I took out my fire jar and went swimming. A little girl saw it, cried and ran, shouting: mom, mom, look at the ladybug! I turned to defend myself, and the girl got a fright: Mom, it's still ladybug essence!

Nineteen, don't lose weight blindly. Pig Bajie didn't lose weight from Gao Laozhuang to the West. Besides, he is a vegetarian!

I heard my second brother ask my five-year-old daughter, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Answer: "Be a policeman". He asked again, "Why the police?" Answer: "because the teacher often says that money should be given to the police uncle."

2 1. The family went to see a play. They bought tickets upstairs, but the little boy kept looking down on the railing, only to hear a staff member come over and say, "Take care of the child and don't let him fall." Downstairs is the VIP table. If you fall, you have to pay for the tickets ... "

22. If you like someone, try to chase, love and express yourself. Don't give up easily even if you are rejected, hit or hurt. After a dozen failures, you will stop.

Twenty-three, I saw a sister squatting on the ground, and wrote a line on the ground in front: it takes two yuan to take a ride. I looked at the sister, but sighed and turned away. You didn't take two dollars with you when you went out, and you still had a piece of chalk in your pocket. Are you a fool?

The life span of mobile phones is about three to five years, only one twentieth of that of human beings! Mobile phone is only a part of your life, but you are all of it! Please put down the chores around you and spend more time with your mobile phone!

A joke that makes people in a bad mood happy. 1. Now "good night" means, don't talk nonsense with me, I will continue to play with my mobile phone now. Say good night to each other and stay up late.

Second, don't say you are single dog. The dog died at your age.

Third, sometimes I feel that the entanglement of marrying money or marrying love is just like discussing Tsinghua or Peking University when I was a child!

Fourth, his girlfriend's son was naughty and was beaten by his girlfriend. It may be a little heavy. The little guy burst into tears, and his girlfriend quickly apologized to his son. My son cried louder and louder. My best friend asked me to coax the little guy. The little guy gave me a look and said to his girlfriend, can you find a good one if you want to use a honey trap?

The threshold of doing anything in this era has become very high. Want to be an otaku, can you afford a house?

6. If a woman likes a man and doesn't take the initiative to chase him, it's called reserve! If a man likes a girl and doesn't take the initiative to chase her, it's called cowardice.

Seven, in fact, Tang Yan is also quite colored. Those who say ugly are called benefactors, and those who say beautiful are called bodhisattvas.

8. "Do you know what it feels like to love deeply?" "It's like the room suddenly darkens, not looking for light but looking for him." "Do you know what marriage is?" Marriage is rushing out after quarreling and coming back to buy a dish. This is the highest state of Xiuen's love.

9. What makes you find that this person can't be intimate? The picture of the circle of friends is only P itself.

X. Work is not easy. In fact, everyone is equally tired at work. The difference is that everyone earns more than you.

When I was a child, I saw my parents quarreling and often struggled. Should I get married when I grow up? It was not until I reached that age that I found out: I really think too much!

When I was in college, I took my roommate to class by tram. Talking and laughing all the way, I found that my roommate didn't get on the bus.

Thirteen, work every year, worry every year, work overtime every day like a monkey, work overtime without pay, and get scolded every day for no reason.

Talking about a wrong love is like wetting the bed, warming a quilt for a while and cooling it.

Driving school coach: the red light doesn't go, and the green light doesn't go. Why? No color you like?

16, 20 years old, some people are divorced, and some people are out of poverty. And we are out of the reins, like a husky, running on the road of idiots.

17. One of my colleagues is allergic to mutton. His face was swollen when he ate mutton, so everyone took him with him every time he ate mutton kebabs. The more swollen his face is, the more authentic his mutton is.

18. My friend asked me, will you just find someone to marry because you are old? Are you kidding? Can you look around and find it?

Nineteen, sometimes I hate myself, I can't talk, I'm too kind, careless and cute.

Twenty, weighing only one hundred, either flat-chested or short. It's like having a good figure after 100.

2 1. I called the mobile customer service today, and the customer service answered the phone and said, "Hello, it's my pleasure to serve you." I said, "You are happy too early." Then I hung up.

Twenty-two, God is fair. Although he gave you a low value, he also gave you a high vision.

What's wrong with being ugly? As long as I don't look in the mirror, it's not me who is disgusting.

Twenty-four, I can't conceive others, and it's good to conceive myself!

Twenty-five, Journey to the West tells us that monsters with backgrounds have been taken away, and those without backgrounds have been killed by a stick.

I don't want a dog or a cat. I want to raise you. After all, raising pigs can make you rich.

Twenty-seven, go out for a walk, after all, such a good face is always hidden at home, which is a great loss to society.

Fortunately, I'm a little fat. I can feel my stomach when I'm sad.

Twenty-nine, when you feel that you have nothing and nothing cute. Look in the mirror, honey, you still have meat!

Thirty, it is said that children are pearls left in the world, and mothers are angels sent by God to protect children. And I am the top that God dropped, and my mother likes to pull the top.