Ask for some super funny jokes! !

1. When I was in college, I went to Hengshan to play. I was halfway up the mountain. When I was tired, I saw an Obasan buying souvenirs on the roadside. Go up and ask, "Wife …" 2. Occasionally, when driving, a beautiful colleague hitchhiked. As soon as I sat next to it, I was very nervous and said, wear a condom! Beauty will never talk to me again. . . Depressed ING 3. Others came to menstruation's house before, and they just came in. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll pour you some urine!" " "I should pour some tea. During my internship, I said to a teacher: Teacher Chen, is your surname Chen? Our university went to the factory for metalworking practice, and the master said: For safety reasons, try to ensure that one male classmate and one female classmate have one bed. At that time, all the boys burst into laughter and the girls blushed. During my internship, I did almost all the lathe work for the girls who shared my bed. Finally, considering that she can't do anything, the master didn't check it well, so I advised her to practice. Who knows, she said, I'm used to letting you do it. At that time, I occasionally suddenly felt cold. 6. A friend went to the dumpling shop and asked, "How much is a bowl of jiaozi (for sleeping)?" Just listen to the waitress "bah!" He cried and said, "shameless! "~ 7. During the self-study class, everyone was watching the review. GG said to MM, "I just finished reciting the words. Help me recite them. "MM doesn't want to be silent, GG asks her, you (touch) me, (touch) me! ! As a result, MM couldn't stand it, shouting, teacher, you see I don't want to (touch) him, but he insisted that I (touch) him ~ ~! ! ! 8. I went to my classmate's house for dinner and drank some wine one day. Her father suddenly came in. He wanted to call uncle, but he made a mistake and said, "Dad, come and sit down! "~ ~ cold! A large group of students died laughing. 9. My colleague quarreled with others and was anxious to open his mouth. " Do you think I grew up eating? "I've always wondered what he grew up eating." 10. In primary school, a very annoying boy asked me to borrow an eraser. If I don't borrow it, he will pester me and hit me. Then I shouted with all my strength, "I won't marry (borrow) you." At this time, my classmates immediately quieted down. 1 1. In the computer class, a classmate had a problem with the machine and shouted "Boss, change the machine!" The whole class is ruthless 12. I spit on your face! 13. I joked with mm: "Don't say you know me, it will affect my reputation!" Mm said, "Do you have children? Can you have children? " 14. I am a male. I was sick in Guangdong, and I couldn't speak. I went to see a doctor. The doctor told me that Yin Dao was inflamed. I take a closer look, and the diagnosis says inflammation of the pharynx. 16. Last morning when I went to work, I found that my bicycle tire was flat, so I wanted my mother to help me push it outside to catch my breath. And I said, push my tires out. 17. A girl was lovelorn. I advised her: "Two-legged toads are hard to find, and there are many men with three legs!" " 18. When there is labor class in primary schools, weeding is usually done, so the teacher had to remind us to bring hoes the day before school starts. The next day, when the labor class was about to leave, the teacher asked, "How many people brought it?" Hands up, hoe! "19. enlighten a lovelorn. . Classmate, do you know what sex is? 20. In junior high school Chinese class, someone recited Mao Zedong's poem: a generation of coquettish, ... 2 1. A teacher, we come to class today, and Yang Xiuzhi's shit is 22. Once in ktv, I ordered songs, and a mm shouted: Give me a Shuang Jie with a stick every week ... 23. Sophomore students especially liked it for a while. ~ ~ ~ Day ... 24 ... There were a lot of people on the bus. A macho man shouted: Shit, I stepped on B and added a few 1. Going home at the weekend, I became addicted to cigarettes after dinner, under the pretext of going for a walk. When changing shoes at the door, my father asked me, "Why did you leave?" I said, "Go and have a cigarette! "As a result, my father found a pack of white sand from me and gave me a good beating. After coming out from my mother, I went to find my wife. After seeing my wife, I habitually called out, "Mom! "3. I found that my bike was flat when I went to work in the morning, and I wanted my mother to push it outside to refuel. As a result, I said, "Push my tires out. "Mom is confused, I smiled and quickly corrected. As a result, I said, "Fill my car with gas! ""4. When I was driving, the female colleague sitting next to me suddenly asked, "Why don't you wear a condom when driving?" 5, the last toilet was convenient, and there was no paper. He said to his wife, "Bring me the paper-wiping donkey!" 6. I once asked a nearsighted person how many degrees his eyes were. He wanted to say 400 degrees, but when he exported it, it became 400 watts. My stomach hurts! 7. A leader of the Education Bureau inspected the exercises between classes. After the end, the PE teacher should have announced "dissolution", but in desperation, he forgot his words, held back for a long time and shouted: "Retreat!" 8. When a P.E. student was practicing, many teachers took classes. He's too nervous. When he finally wanted to disband the team, his mind was blank, and he abruptly uttered a sentence: "Attention, attention! Flash! ! "9. A group of classmates went to their classmates' homes in the suburbs to play. We bought some watermelons and put them in the kitchen, and asked a classmate to take a knife to cut them. He didn't come back for a long time, but he came with a cut melon in his hand and said in a panic, "I cut the pumpkin." Everyone laughed wildly, but two seconds later, everyone laughed even harder. It turned out that he had a melon in his hand! 10 There is a teacher surnamed Jiang in high school, who looks like the Tang Priest in The Journey to the West. I went to ask him a question and blurted out, "Teacher Tang, this question …"11.One day, I was driving on the road and had a flat tire. I asked one of my colleagues, "Where is the inflator?" Colleague said: "The streets are full of abortions!" 12, go to McDonald's to buy sweet barrels, and finally it's my turn. I can't wait to say, "Give me two rollers!" " "I didn't expect the waiter to say to me loudly;" Two rollers, four dollars! "13, I met a long-cherished girl who came out of the bathhouse and wanted to befriend her. She held back for a long time and said, "Do you have many men taking a bath? 14, once I went to dinner, I said to my boss when I checked out, "Husband! Have a look. "At that time, the proprietress was nearby ... 15. A teacher played mahjong all night and saw that the blackboard was not wiped. He was furious: "Who is sitting in the village today? "Stop cleaning the blackboard!" 16, once my uncle saw my sister-in-law wearing a big treasure and suddenly shouted, "You have such good skin, why do you still use soothing treasure?" 17, I just bought a house and called a buddy excitedly: "I bought a house, but it's only a dime (I forgot to say the word" blank ") and I need to decorate it." The buddy said, "Is there only one toilet? Then where do you live? " Add a few more! The first one: a primary school student participated in the school recitation competition for the first time and was particularly nervous. The teacher encouraged him for a long time, but his palms were still sweating. It's finally her turn. Pupils gritted their teeth and walked a few steps to the center of the stage: "Teachers and classmates, the topic I recited is: Red leaves are crazy (maple leaves are red). Second: I am still a primary school student. I am particularly envious of the students who have been asked by the teacher to read the composition. I always hope that the teacher can let me read it. The opportunity has finally come. " So-and-so, read your composition to everyone! Pupils suddenly stood up: "My teacher". Teacher, how much I look like your mother ... "The third one: I am the host of the song and dance troupe this time, and I am not proficient in learning. At a performance, I hurried on stage without being ready. The performance takes turns. It's her turn to announce the curtain call: "Audience friends, let's listen to Du Zi flute ..." Fourth, my family often grows green onions in pots in winter to keep them fresh and tender. My sister saw it when she came home for the New Year and said happily to my mother, "Hey! Mom, that's too bad ... "Mom and I both laughed. Fifth: There is a neighbor named "Auntie" who goes to work by bike every day. I met her at the door early in the morning. I smiled and said politely, "grandma, big class ..." bah! ..... I want to bite off my tongue. Sixth: classmate anonymous, looking at himself one day, suddenly turned to the person behind him and said, "Is my chest hair nice?" "Startled, he said," Oh, I want to ask if my eyebrows are fierce. Seventh, when I was a primary school student, I made up my mind at the general meeting of the whole school: "We should learn from the revolutionary spirit of the Red Army in climbing snow-capped mountains and crossing grasslands. "From then on, I was deprived of the right to political speech for life! Eighth: When I was a child, my father told me that there was a text about Liu Hulan in the Chinese book. When Liu Hulan voluntarily admitted to the Japanese that she was trying to save the life of the whole village, an old man stepped forward to save her. The line is: "Xiao Xiangzi, are you crazy?" ！” But in the era of * * *, a poor rural child read aloud: "Little madman, do you smell good?" "Ninth: In high school, the teacher asked the deskmate to read the text. This girl has always been famous for her vivid reading. On that day, she read aloud with a textbook: ........................................................................................................................... played the national flag and raised the national anthem ... Eleventh: I took my son to feed the ducks. He ran after the duck while scattering bread crumbs, and I ran after him with his apple (he didn't like it, so I had to take a few bites when he was distracted). He kept running, and I kept calling him, "Come and eat an apple and chase the duck!" " "I kept repeating this sentence, and finally I shouted out:" Come and have a bite of duck ... "Then I skillfully stepped on the brakes. Twelfth place: I remember when I was in primary school, there was a text called Waterfall. In the middle, it is said that the author turned a mountain and saw a waterfall hanging in it. When one of my female classmates was reading aloud, she also said with emotion: I was shocked when I climbed over this mountain. There was a rag hanging on the mountain. . . The whole class was stunned. Thirteenth: There is another sentence in a text extracted from a Russian writer's novel: all the houses here belong to the lords (referring to the rich). As a result, one of my male classmates read aloud: All the houses here belong to old men. As soon as the voice fell, our Chinese teacher asked him doubtfully: Where do the old ladies live? Fourteenth: The most classic thing is that I once watched Tao talk about the embarrassing incident when he was the host. He never said that the opening ceremony was a curtain call ... What impressed me most was that he said that when he was hosting a party, he calmly walked up and said affectionately, "Friends, have you seen the Yellow River?" Do you know it is our mother river ~ ~ "After introducing the Yellow River affectionately, he said," Let's listen to the songs of the Yangtze River. "