How to get rid of the shadow of childhood

I have encountered this situation before, so I won't go into details. At that time, I had worse extreme thoughts than you, but now I live a good life and have a cheerful personality. When I have those extreme thoughts in my mind, as long as I realize it, I will meditate in my mind, which is illegal, wrong, wrong ... I keep repeating them, and then I stop meditating when I don't care about these extreme thoughts. Then I was depressed, and then I read a lot of jokes to cheer myself up. At that time, writing a diary was a venting diary, which was later destroyed. If you watch too many jokes, those uncomfortable things will not stay in your heart for too long. My parents always quarrel. This shadow really affected me, but I have a good relationship with them now. When I grow up, I will understand many things, and my parents are old. You don't care how many bad things they did in those years. You will remember, but you won't care. I have nothing to do now. Read more cheerful stories and jokes. My experience ...