Humorous comedy dialogue

China crosstalk has three cradles: Beijing Tianqiao, Tianjin Quanyechang, Sanbuer and Nanjing Confucius Temple. Crosstalk originated in North China, popular in Beijing, Tianjin and Hebei, and spread all over the country and at home and abroad. It began in the Ming and Qing Dynasties and flourished in the contemporary era. Humorous crosstalk lines, let's take a look.

Humorous crosstalk lines 1A: XXX, long time no see, how are you?

B: I'm still the same. YYY, long time no see. How are you?

YYY？ Look again, am I YYY?

B: (looking up and down A) Aren't you YY? Is this still fake?

A: (putting on airs) I'm not YYY, I'm flying over Ju Peng!

B: Huh? Are you Yue Fei? Did I meet a ghost or did a ghost meet me?

A: Of course ... A ghost met you. Ah ... how can I say that I used to be a ghost?

B: This is the art of speaking, that is, humor.

A: Hey, don't say it yet, it just sounds funny.

B: Don't say that you are highly savvy, you will soon hear it.

Well, we're just having fun today. Why don't we be quiet today and make everyone happy?

B: That's no problem, as long as you accompany me.

A: I have no problem here, so I am willing to lay down my life for this gentleman.

Well, let me tell you another humor about ghosts. Suppose you are trapped in a yard with only one door. Ghosts come out of this door and become people, and people come out of this door and become ghosts. Are you a person or a ghost in the yard?

A: People, of course!

B: Then stay inside and don't come out. It will be scary when you come out.

A: Then I am a ghost.

B: That's it. I said you were a ghost from the beginning.

Well, I'm haunted today.

Humor is an art, and only elegant humor can be interesting. Otherwise, it will not only make you happy, but also bring you trouble.

A: What trouble can this humor bring me?

Don't trust me. If you don't believe me, I will tell you one. You'll be furious.

A: Then tell me that I'm not that angry.

Let's talk about this. Suppose you are trapped in a yard with only one door. Dogs become people when they leave this door, and people become dogs when they leave this door. Are you a man or a dog in the yard?

Are you talking about humans?

So we should speak civilized words and do civilized things.

A: That's true.

B: Humor can also show your personality and make others feel that your writing is fresh and charming.

That's easy to learn.

B: For example, what would you say if you praised a woman's beauty?

A: It's even more beautiful than.

B: Women must be very happy to hear that. Give her a compliment. But that's it. It's so tacky.

What do you say?

B: If you want me, I'll say "I met a fairy". When you say that, it shows that she is as beautiful as a fairy and won't make people feel flattering.

This is really new. Is this your original?

B: What is original and what is not? But then again, this kind of humor has the effect of making people live longer.

I know. Laughing is ten years old. People look young when they are happy.

B: Isn't there a time when a little girl was seriously ill and dying? The doctor predicted that she would live for twenty days. As a result, the little girl knew about it. She couldn't stand the blow and went on a hunger strike. Her parents know that I like telling jokes, so they let me tell some jokes to the little girl, but she can't just die.

A: Poverty inherits the wind.

B: I learned about this situation and met this little girl in the hospital. The little girl looks really pale and depressed. Knowing that I was coming, she opened her eyes slightly: Uncle, you are here. I like listening to your jokes very much.

A: It seems that you still have a certain reputation.

B: My heart ached when I heard it, and my tears almost came down. I said, son, uncle is here to see you. You are so beautiful and kind, you will be fine. I believe I will see you again in twenty years.

You are so comforting.

Uncle, don't joke with me. The doctor said I wouldn't live for 20 days. How can I see anyone again in 20 years?

A: I understand.

So do you listen to the doctor or to me?

A: What did she say to you?

Of course I listen to the doctor.

How can people trust you?

B: You can only live for 20 days if you listen to the doctor, and you can live for 20 years if you listen to me!

How did she react?

B: The little girl smiled: Then I'd better listen to you.

You really convinced her.

B: Well, from today on, you should have a good rest, eat well, listen to music and have a good day. I have my hands full right now. I will come to see you again in twenty days. Goodbye.

A: You should say something that makes people happy.

B: Then I secretly told her parents that I wouldn't come in 20 days. If the little girl asks, you can say I'm busy, but I'll be right there, dragging my feet.

A: Are you lying?

B: Later, the little girl miraculously recovered and was discharged soon.

You are really something.

B: No, my God. Sometimes the psychological effect is really strong. However, the good times did not last long. After two years, the little girl's illness recurred, and this time it was really hopeless. When I saw her, she was dying in tears. I knew at a glance that the little girl had something on her mind. I asked her, but she was still embarrassed to say. I asked her if she hadn't found someone yet, and she said yes. I said I'd get someone to take a wedding photo with you, and she nodded hard.

You've said a little too much this time. Where are you going to find someone else?

I am looking for your wife.

What do you want to do with my wife?

I met your wife and said, I want to borrow your ambassador YYY.

A: My wife must slap you!

On the contrary, your wife said with a smile, YYY is stupid. Do you want him to be a mule or a horse?

My wife hates me more than you do.

B: Although your husband is stupid, he looks like a dog. I don't want him to be a mule or a horse, I want him to be A Lang.

I believe you can put on this stupid hat for me.

B: (pretending to be a woman) Being a wolf? Be a pervert or an old wolf.

My wife's spirit is not good either.

B: Be the groom! Then I told your wife what happened to that girl. Your wife was so open-minded that she agreed at that time.

Well, we should help!

B: Now the ward will be busy! Some make up the bride, some dress the bride in a wedding dress, and some are busy taking pictures. ...

A: There are quite a few warm-hearted people.

B: Although the bride looks haggard, she is also full of joy! You are so happy.

A: You have no good words when you come to me.

B: The bride made a humorous remark before she died, which almost scared you to death.

What did she say? It scares me.

Goodbye, dear!

Ah, here we go again ... ah-

Humorous Crosstalk Line 2A: (Waving loudly) Dear friends, how are you?

A: (muttering) Nothing happened. (Loudly) Once again, dear friends, how are you? Give some applause, thank you!

B: Eh, you think everyone is clapping for you. They are clapping for me because I am handsome.

C: What? I am handsome. Give me a hand.

A: Hi! Stop arguing, you two have nothing to do.

Who are you?

Hachi, I am your eighth sister.

C: Eight elder sisters? I'm still my ninth sister.

A: You are not your ninth sister, but your sister.

C: What do you mean?

A: You see, there are many women in the Dream of Red Mansions. If you add up to twelve, you are called twelve women in Jinling. There are all women in our library, a total of twelve, so I call them twelve women for short. I am the eighth oldest and you are the youngest. Right?

B: In that case, I am also one of the twelve women in the book.

C: You say so, so do I.

A: That's right!

No, twelve MINUS three equals nine. There are nine more.

I think your math is not bad.

B: That's right.

A: Then let's tell you about the twelve women in this book.

What do you mean?

A: Well, there is a poem for each of the twelve women in Jinling. Let me introduce them one by one, and you two will write the poem. How's it going?

That's impossible.

A: That's all right. You can relax the conditions. Singing, dancing, free verse or a word will do. We're all irresponsible, okay?

B: (turning to C) What do you think?

C: You can try it.

A: Come on, let's go.

Wait, where do we start?

A: If a family has nine children, when they wake up, they should shout: Get up with a big hair, two hairs, three hairs, four hairs, five hairs, six hairs, seven hairs and eight hairs! We have to start with heavy hair. Let's do the same. Let's go in the order of big women, two women, three women, four women, five women, six women, seven women, eight women, ten women and eleven women, shall we?

Okay!

A: Then let's get started. Hui, Dachai, scholar, textbook administrator. The most important thing is that she has been our disco coach for many years. She does gymnastics well and dances well. Please look-

B C: (singing and dancing) Sister, you are sailing overhead, and my brother and I are walking on the shore. The rope of grace and love swings very long, very long … very long …

The second woman, Aso, is in charge of the staff reading room. She works hard, which is exquisite, as evidenced by poetry:

B C: (Poetry recitation) Put on a white coat.

someone says that

I'm angels in white.

Others said

I draw blood.

in fact

I am a sanitation worker.

The third card issuer, Hong, is in charge of the student reading room. Over the years, all the people who subscribe to newspapers have been ill. It hurts. But in the face of pain, she still smiled strongly, still so beautiful and moving, as evidenced by songs-

Captain: (singing) Lift your veil and let me see your face. Your eyebrows are thin and long, like the curved moon in the sky that day.

A Qin, who is in charge of the Social Science Library 1, shows great maternal love from her. She treats every reader like her own relatives, and especially likes to clean up the house, as evidenced by songs.

B, C: (Singing, weaving flower baskets) Wipe the table. It's not annoying to do it again and again. The table was polished how bright, and the radiator was shining …

A Qing, the fifth card issuer, is responsible for borrowing and returning teaching materials and books, and moving desks, chairs and flowerpots. Let's just say that she is the big housekeeper of the library and takes care of everything. That's really the first inside and outside. The children of poor families have long been in charge, and her cell phone ringtone proves this-

B C: (Shouting loudly) There are rags for sale-rags and socks for sale.

Who has garbage for A Qing to dispose of? Whose turn is it? Oh, six hair clips. Six women, Xia, are in charge of the natural science stacks. I think she, A Chao and I were three "long-term workers" in the library when the library was built, working for the landlord of the college for a long time. Look, she's happy-

B C: (singing, unity is strength) Labor is happiness, labor is happiness, this happiness has you, this happiness has me, it is higher than the sky and longer than the earth-

A: Baochai is a beautiful and romantic person. A pair of red phoenix triangular eyes and two curved arch eyebrows. In the process of planning, the winner is two floors away, that is, from the second floor to the first floor, from the second floor to the fourth floor. Who is she? She is-director Chang! I think at the beginning, when preparing for the library, I watched her face change from big to small, from small to thin, from thin to yellow, from yellow to yellow. She was cruel not only to herself, but also to her subordinates. It is said that she is the eighteenth generation descendant of Zhou Pipi, as evidenced by a sentence she often said-

(emoticon) work for me!

A: Listen to how powerful this old seven is! A Xin, Bachai, is in charge of the borrowing desk. If you want to borrow a card, leave school, borrow books, return books, inquire, print and see if the burglar alarm device is lost, you can go to her. Hey, you two have to put in a good word for this man.

B C: (poetry reading) I have two rows of snow-white teeth.

I have a burning heart.

I am willing to work hard for everyone.

Give an imaginary kiss

A: Jiu Chai Ali is in charge of the second social science library and the teaching materials of the branch campus. Her house is the most popular. After class, you can see her going straight to Wang Li's house in twos and threes, and sometimes someone will shout, "Don't squeeze, step on my foot." Why?

B C: (singing) I have a little secret in my heart that I can't tell you. Not ordinary feelings and feelings. It connects me with you-

A: What's the secret? Guess slowly. Shi Chai Ajie, who is in charge of the reading room of the branch school, has been unknown for twenty years. She said, I am a green leaf, which sets off the red flowers. I want to ask why flowers are so red, but I can't live without green leaves. There are songs as evidence—

B.C.: (Singing) This is the feeling of green leaves to roots-this is the feeling of green leaves to roots-this is the feeling of green leaves to roots.

A: Eleven women, A Chao, and twelve women, A Xin, two new young people, are the owners of the editing room and the core of library management. Data processing can not be separated from them, nor can it be separated from them. They get the lowest salary and do jobs that others can't replace. They shouted their voices like fire-

I am a brick, so I need to move it anywhere I want to go!