When you go home during the Chinese New Year, how should you calmly deal with the urging of your elders to get married?

01

Zhang Cong is thirty-five years old this year and is still single. A month before the Spring Festival holiday, he received a WeChat message from his aunt: When will you go home for the New Year? Will you go back alone this year, or in two? ?

Zhang Cong's heart skipped a beat, and he quickly replied: "I plan to take an early vacation and go home to celebrate the New Year. I will go back alone this year." ?

As a result, my aunt quickly replied with another message: ?You have to hurry up and find a partner. Is there no girl in your unit who is suitable for you? Don't be too picky, as long as the girl has a good temperament. ?

Zhang Cong stared at the screen of his mobile phone, speechless.

He couldn't help but post a message on Moments: "Is it because I don't even dare to go home without a girlfriend in the future?" hehe. ?Of course, I didn’t dare to make this circle of friends public to my relatives at home.

Soon, a friend of similar age to him who was also single left a message below: "That's not good." ?

02

Finally, when he returned home, his parents took turns to do ideological work on him before his butt was still hot. Those comments urging marriage are so cliché that Zhang Cong has already heard that his ears are almost raw.

When Zhang Cong went home for the New Year two years ago, he had no choice but to participate in the blind date arranged by his parents due to helplessness and pressure. As a result, they broke up every time.

This Chinese New Year, Zhang Cong made up his mind not to participate in any blind date activities anyway. He just wanted to spend the Spring Festival at home in peace and down-to-earth.

However, his parents and other elders had no intention of letting him go. As soon as they saw him, the first thing they asked him was: Have you brought your girlfriend back? ?

If someone of no importance asked, he would at most grin, look noncommittal, and pass by casually fooling around. If asked by his own relatives, he would feel particularly embarrassed.

Zhang Cong actually understands the feelings of his parents and elders urging marriage, and he also wants to start a family and start a business as soon as possible. However, feelings cannot be forced. There is no point in being anxious when fate has not arrived.

03

The reason why elders urge marriage is very simple, that is, they think that a person should do what he should do at that age. If a person reaches the age of thirty and has not yet gotten married and has children, they will start to be tempted to get married.

So, how should older singles like Zhang Cong, who are still unmarried after turning 30, correctly deal with their elders urging them to get married when they return home during the Chinese New Year?

First of all, your attitude must be sincere and humble enough. Don't go against your elders, there's no need. When your elders ask you if you are looking for someone, you can answer truthfully.

If your elders urge you to find a partner to get married quickly, then even if you are very angry, you should put on a bright smile on your face, nod sincerely and answer: Okay, I will try my best. Try to get married as soon as possible. ?

Secondly, you need to let your elders see your growth and progress. The main reason why your parents and elders keep urging you to get married is because they are worried that you will not be able to take care of yourself on your own. If you can find a satisfactory partner as soon as possible, then your life will be on the right track. When you are sick and need someone to take care of you, at least you have a partner you can rely on.

So, in order to avoid letting your elders worry too much about your life, you should work harder, earn more money, and let yourself live a happier life. You have to find ways to prove to your elders and parents that even if you are not married for the time being, you can still live a wonderful and happy life alone.

The most important point is that no matter when and where you are, you must firmly hold the initiative to get married in your own hands. You should not marry anyone just because your elders are urging you to get married. In other words, you should not get married just for the sake of getting married.

If you get married just for the sake of getting married, then this is an extremely irresponsible manifestation of your life and the life of the other person.

After all, feelings cannot be forced. Love is love, not loving is not loving. If you reluctantly marry someone you don't love at all, then you will drift apart after marriage because of the lack of common language.

04

Although relationships can be cultivated slowly, if you did not enter the marriage hall because you truly loved each other, you would have been forced to do so due to the pressure to get married. If you get married, then such a marriage is destined to not last long and will not achieve true happiness.

In short, in the face of various pressures from parents and elders to get married, you should remain calm and calm. You should not get into trouble or follow what others say. You have to have your own opinions and learn to be responsible for your own choices.

Only when you know how to put yourself in their shoes, are willing to think more about your parents and elders, and try to speak your innermost feelings to your elders as frankly as possible, so that they can fully feel your sincerity and be able to express your sincerity through practice. Only when your parents and elders are completely reassured by your concrete actions and performance can you truly win the trust of your elders in you, and they will accordingly reduce the frequency and number of times they urge you to get married.