Funny sentences

Humorous and funny sentences

Momentary impulse, crisis for descendants! Below are humorous and funny sentences that I compiled. I hope you all like them.

Selection of humorous sentences

1. Men love to fuck, women love money! Men talk about love without conscience, while women close their eyes and pretend to orgasm! In fact, life is not easy, It all depends on acting!

2. What goes into someone’s hole is a plug, and what someone puts into a hole is a socket!

3. Like is light love; love is deep like.

4. What’s the point of a handsome man? Can I swipe a credit card with my face at the bank?

5. His ability to fake things made me give up the idea of ??cheating.

6. Don’t become bad in debauchery, just become perverted in silence.

7. If you want to live in the world, it is best to be a bachelor!

8. The best person who writes poetry in China is in a mental hospital.

9. I think I am a pervert. I have Oedipus and a fetish for the best mature women. Otherwise, why do I want to fuck my grandma every time I see the face of our supermarket supervisor?

10. My wife is a big tree and my lover is a grass. Plant a big tree to enjoy the shade and raise a baby. The grass is good for walking birds, harmonious society, green and environmentally friendly.

11. A woman said to a man: Come to my house, I will feed you.

12. Falling in love is a feeling. When this feeling is no longer there, I am still forcing myself. This is called responsibility! Breaking up is a kind of courage! When this courage is no longer there, I am still there. Encourage yourself, this is tragic!

13. The news said: As a grassroots cadre, the people's affairs are their own affairs. Then he went on to say: No matter how big your affairs are, they are all trivial matters.

14. Does it hurt? ?Forget it!? Stop!?

15. You join a foreign company and I will be a worker, because that day is a day when the invigilators have a lot of work? - You sat in front of me and stopped moving! Damn it!

16. Diaosi must learn flattering words to counterattack: This beauty is really beautiful, like a fish or a wild goose. It's so beautiful that adding one point is too much, and subtracting one point is too little. Being able to know you is really a gift from God and my supreme honor!

17. The monk said: "Do you think I am a vegetarian?" The nun said: "I have never seen anything!"

18. You must be confused and don’t pursue the truth? Truth is a bitch!

19. Mortgage means pressing you to the ground and peeling off your skin layer by layer?

20. Every time a day passes, I mark a circle on my calendar. On Sunday, I realized that my days had been marked by ellipses. A collection of humorous and funny sentences

1. You should let me kneel on the washboard, I can’t bear to kneel on the electric heater!

2. My new girlfriend and I have only been in a relationship for a week Are you going to break up with me because I haven’t read Octavio Paz’s books or Borges’ poems?

3. You must be my companion on the wedding day, Because we promised to get married together?

4. Foreign officials must conceal their identity if they bump into someone, otherwise it will be a scandal; domestic officials must be righteous and confident if they bump into someone, and they will scare you to death if they take out their documents!

5. It is better to do 100 good things with the leader than to do one bad thing with the leader.

6. Let the people on earth talk about raping Japanese people on the moon!

7. How can you get married without experiencing scum? No one can be a mother casually.

8. When I was in poverty, you were by my side; when I was sick and injured, you were by my side; when I was frustrated in love, you were by my side? I'm so unlucky to be with you.

9. It is difficult for a rich man to be a man without money.

10. Galvanized coffins are of course more durable, but wooden coffins are good for health.

11. If the two ducks play in the water, they will drown; if they fly together, they will fall to death!

12. In my heart, the goddess is also a woman, and the goddess also has seven emotions and six desires. Also need to go to the toilet. A goddess is just someone's positioning of a certain girl in his heart. Your goddess may not be my goddess. My goddess will always be my goddess. Everyone's goddess is the real goddess. Based on the above, goddesses are nothing, diaosi don’t have to wait until dawn, is the time to counterattack?

13. As long as someone tells you that he is busy, it is equivalent to announcing to you that you are not important to him. 3813. I didn't miss my appointment last night. I climbed over the wall to find you, but the stupid dog in the yard bit me out.

14. Sorry is a kind of sincerity, but it doesn’t matter is a kind of demeanor. If you pay sincerity but don’t get the demeanor, it can only show the ignorance and vulgarity of the other party.

15. If a dog passes you by, if it is in a hurry, it will not look at you; if it is okay, it will look at you; if your eyes are more friendly, it will surround you. Turn around on your feet. This kind of etiquette is lacking among people.

16. It’s time to go to the street again. 10 women, 9 exposed, 9 exposed, 8 silk, 8 silk, 7 black, 7 black, 6 transparent, 6 transparent, 5 thick, 5 thick, 4 coquettish, 4 coquettish, 3 ugly, 3 Ugly 2 fishing nets, 2 fishing nets 1 hole season?

17. Don’t talk to me about life, talk to me about strangers!

18. Life is like shit, Sometimes you work very hard, but what comes out is nothing but shit.

19. There is a dark forest to the right of the left leg and to the left of the right leg! My understanding of Cecilia has finally reached the level of Nicholas Ting!

20. I put As soon as the cotton pants were taken off, the spring girl came lightly?

21. When a loyal party member died, God was unwilling to accept the soul of an atheist in heaven, so he sent him to hell. A month later, the King of Hell came sweating profusely and said: "Take that man away quickly. He has almost turned all my little devils into Young Pioneers!" God accepted it, and another month passed, and the King of Hell was gloating about his misfortune. Ask God: What happened to the party member? God said: First of all, please call me comrade

22. Three major tragedies at the dinner party: The person you wanted to invite did not come, and the person who came has nothing to do with you. You're the only one left awake when it's time to check out.

23. You must look carefully when looking for a partner now, because there are too many people who are neither men nor women!

24. When I see a beautiful woman, I first touch my pockets Come here and see if you have any money!

25. After graduating from college, one day I saw a classmate I hadn’t contacted for a long time grazing a horse on the other side of the river. I laughed at him: “Young man, you’re all messed up like this!” ?As a result, he and I quarreled, and I was angry: ?Damn, if you have the guts, you can let the horse come over!? He said: ?Who is afraid of whom? If you have the guts, come over with the cow!?

26. How beautiful you are in the eyes of others, how miserable you are in your own heart!

27. Why I haven’t died yet, it’s because I’m waiting to die! Why I kill people and set fires, it’s because I want to Seeking death!

28. Relatives are too familiar to be attacked.

29. The reason why men are fat and women are thin: Men have two bags of fresh milk, one bird's nest, and two abalone slices every night; while women only have one ham sausage and two quail eggs every night.

30. If I had known he was not a good guy, I just forgot to tell him.

31. Although mistresses need to be new to be interesting, old friends are better.

32. Don’t think that a girl can seduce me just because she is beautiful, at least she must be stupid enough!

33. Can all the eggs in the world unite to break the stone?! So we should be more realistic as a human being?

34. I swear, all the vows I made before are canceled from now on! I swear I will never swear again!

35. I am purely Fiction, if you encounter it online, it’s a hell!

36. If you can’t explain it clearly to the instructor, then just make him confused!

37. Your child is now a cannibal. The milk is still your milk!

38. For men, the upper body is cultivation, and the lower body is essence; for women, the upper body is bait, and the lower body is trap.

39. Those who have no money raise pigs, and those who have money raise dogs. Those who have no money eat wild vegetables at home, and those who have money eat wild vegetables in hotels. Those who have no money ride their bikes on the street, those who have money ride their bikes in their living rooms. Those who have no money want to get married, and those who have money want to get divorced. A poor wife and secretary, a rich secretary and wife. Those who have no money pretend to be rich, and those who have money pretend to have no money.

40. Choose a mature woman, whose skirt is easy to grab. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it. ;