Urgent: A few jokes that can make girls (19 years old) happy quickly. Plus points! .

1. The old farmer drove the donkey into the city, and the donkey ran a red light, and was fined 10 yuan. The old farmer drank the donkey: "You think you are a military vehicle! Dare to rush at the red light. " After a few steps, the donkey knocked down a fruit stall, and 20 yuan paid for it. The old farmer was even more angry: "Do you think you are an industrial and commercial city manager? Whoever you want to smash will do. " The old farmer took the donkey home and passed a field full of grass. The donkey chewed the grass and was punished in 30 yuan. The old farmer was very angry and scolded, "Do you think you are an inspection team going to the countryside? You can eat anywhere. " After the old farmer scolded him, he took the donkey to the river to drink water, but the donkey was stubborn and refused to drink. The old farmer was angry: "You think you are rich and don't drink without a young lady." The donkey turned and ran, drying a fishing net on the shore, and the donkey broke. Fishermen claim compensation from 500 yuan. Tears welled up in the old farmer's eyes: "Do you think this is China Telecom? It costs so much to surf the Internet. "The donkey turned and kicked the old farmer. The old farmer scolded helplessly: "Do you think you are the stationmaster? Kick whoever you want. The donkey was very angry, ignored the old farmer and became very silent. The old farmer said, "Yes, you see, you think this is a QQ group, so you can ignore it. 2. You struggled to paddle, breaststroke, backstroke and butterfly in the swimming pool, which was an impressive dive! The old man on the shore was anxious: damn it! Did you drink up the cesspool and stop me from farming? There are two birds in the tree. The hunter raised his gun and killed one. He found it hairless. He's thinking. Another bird flew down and cursed the hunter: MD, you shot her down as soon as I stripped her naked!

4. A police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road and suddenly ran over to ask it: I am a police dog, what are you? The ordinary dog took a disdainful look and said, idiot, look clearly, I am plain clothes!

The little toad saw the frog and asked its mother, "That uncle looks like us, but why is he green?" Mother Toad: "Shh! Keep your voice down, that's because his wife has gone to spend Valentine's Day with someone else. " 6. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, cucumber and watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

7. There is a monkey who always wipes his ass before eating. The administrator explained that the monkey swallowed a peach, and the peach pit got stuck in his ass and had an operation. After that, he has to verify whether he can live without eating.

8. Today I saw a beggar begging with two hats. After giving a dime, I asked the beggar why he was holding two hats. The beggar replied, "Business is not very good recently, and another branch has been opened."

9. Friar Sand took the math exam. The invigilator stared at the beads around his neck for a long time and sneered: Hey! If you disguise the abacus like this, don't cheat. Take it off.

10. Devil: God, can I be reincarnated? God: Yes. Demon: I don't want to be a demon anymore. I want to be as white as an angel and have wings, but I still want to suck blood. God: Well, you can be reborn as a nurse. 1 1. A farmer spent a lot of money to buy a batch of hens and wanted to make money by selling eggs. Unexpectedly, hens are listless and never lay eggs. He was in a hurry and went to consult an expert. After the expert inquired about the situation, he told him,' Chickens are also animals, and they have physiological needs, so you should buy another batch of cocks'. But the farmer has spent a lot of money, and the money in his pocket is only enough to buy a rooster. He has no choice but to buy a rooster. This rooster faces hundreds of peak-to-peak hens. He is determined to kill the thief, and there is nothing he can do. He was exhausted after several times.

The farmer thought hard and came up with a good idea. He took out Viagra, which had been treasured for a long time and was going to take it for himself, and mixed it with chicken feed to feed the cock. After the cock ate Viagra, it was really a blessing in disguise, and it didn't take a day to get all the hens in the chicken farm. Hens are much more diligent when they are nourished by love.

Unexpectedly, the next day, the rooster was still very angry, jumped over the fence and went to the duck house on the farm next door to take all the hundreds of ducks. On the third day, the rooster was still brave and unstoppable. He flew over the river and came to the goose farm on the opposite farm, and took all the hundreds of geese.

Finally, when the farmer went out on the fourth day, he saw the rooster lying on the ground, dying. Several goshawks are hovering in the sky, waiting for an opportunity to pounce on food. The farmer's eyes turned red, thinking that the rooster had made great contributions to the revolutionary cause, he decided to collect the body for it. The farmer went to the cock and cried, "It's all my fault." I didn't expect the rooster to say,' Shh, don't make any noise. I'll take care of those eagles when they come down.