Cold joke contest. = =

1 A police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road, and suddenly ran over and asked it: I am a police dog. What are you? The ordinary dog took a disdainful look and said, idiot, look clearly, I am plain clothes! The cannibal father and son hunted, and the son caught a thin man. His father said, let go, there is no meat! His son also caught a fat man, and his father said, let go, it's too tired! His son captured another beautiful woman, and his father said, take it home and eat your mother at night! One day, we went to a wishing pool. I bent down and made a wish, and then threw a coin into the well. You wanted to make a wish, but when you bent down, you accidentally fell into the well. I was startled and muttered, How clever! A four-year-old boy kissed a three-year-old girl, and the girl said to the boy, you will be responsible for me if you kiss me. The boy patted the girl on the shoulder maturely and said with a smile: Don't worry, we are not children of one or two years old! In the middle of the night, Bush saw bin Laden standing in front of his bed, criticizing his head. Bush was startled and said, How dare you break into the White House at night! Bin Laden shook his chest-high beard and said with a grimace, "It's so soft and confident!"! Mouse: I'm in love with bats now, and the children will live in the air from now on, not afraid of your cat. The cat sneered, pointed to the owl in the tree and said, look, she is pregnant with my child! The science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? No one answered. The teacher asked again: Does nobody know? At this time, a classmate stood up and said, that's because you are calm and naturally cool. Remember the military training under the tree that year? The coach said to the students, "Count off in the first row!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly, "Count off!" " "So, reluctantly, you turned and hugged the tree! One day, I met a foreign guest and said, I'm Hong. The foreign guest said, I'm Fang Qi! I saw you at 10, in the supermarket! You quietly put your hand on the barcode scanner, and the screen shows: pig's trotters 8 yuan. Do you think the machine is broken? Looking from the face, the screen shows 5 yuan, pig head! 1 1 It's hot and cold, so it's hard to calm down this season. I always miss you in the distance. I would like to keep a homing pigeon and let it fly to your place every day, even if all I can do is a simple action: pull a shit on your head! 12 Xiaoming told his mother that a guest came to play at home today, and my brother put a thumbtack on the guest's chair. I saw it. Mom said, "Then how did you do it? "Xiao Ming said," I stood by, and when the guest wanted to sit down, I took the chair away from behind him. "13 One day on a crowded bus, a conversation went like this: a standing pregnant woman said to a man sitting next to him," Don't you know I'm pregnant? " (I want him to give up his seat ...) I saw the man nervously say, "The child is not mine! 14 is just a gust of wind, but it is so eternal, just a dream, but it is so real. You bowed your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. Finally, I can't help but say to you: Next time you fart, let me know! 15 The woman is ugly and can't get married, hoping to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, but she insisted on not getting off. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, the car is gone. 16 the little mosquito came home crying, and his mother asked, what's the matter? Mozzie: Dad is dead! Mother Mosquito: He didn't take you to the show? Mosquito: Yes, but when the audience applauded, Dad didn't dodge. . . . .