Does anyone know of any funny jokes?

1. When I was in high school, after class, my classmates rushed outside to buy lunch boxes. In order to arrive before others, a girl took a shortcut, but the manhole cover in front of her was not properly covered and she fell down! After a while, she climbed up on the edge of the well, feeling very embarrassed. A group of junior high school children walked by in horror. She unexpectedly got wise and said while climbing: Hey! It’s so difficult to cultivate... ★☆ 2. When I was in middle school, I was bitten by mosquitoes while sleeping naked in the summer. I was itching unbearably in class, but I couldn’t put my hand in and scratch it, I can bear it! It hurts so much! During class, I stole a box of cooling oil from my classmate (a girl) and rushed to the toilet. After smearing it on, I regretted it--it was so exciting that my DD curled up and refused to go back! The lack of clothes in summer couldn't stop me, so I had to bend down and move back to the classroom, sit down and lean against the desk, not daring to move. The cooling oil had such a strong smell that my deskmate asked sharply: Did you steal my cooling oil? Where did you apply it? ! ——I would rather die than live! I just opened the Coca-Cola and took a few sips. After shaking it, I had a spurt. I blocked my mouth and persisted until it finally sprayed out from my nose. ★☆ 3. One day I got on the bus with a good friend. The front was full, so I ran to the back and sat down when there were just two seats left. There were two middle school boys sitting in the front row. After one stop, a woman in her 20s led a 7 or 8-year-old boy onto the bus. (Later I found out that this was her child, :() There was no seat, so I stood next to the two middle school students. After a while, the child got angry and said that his legs hurt. The middle school student stood up and gave up his seat to the child. The young woman said, "Let the child sit on your lap." The middle school student agreed. After a few stops, a girl who was very beautiful and well-dressed came up. It's also extremely sexy. Low-cut, short skirt. The bus was driving, and the child suddenly shouted to his mother: "Mom, my brother's pussy is moving! It's the same as dad's." Haha! , there was a commotion in the car. The middle school student was so embarrassed that he grabbed his classmates and shouted to the driver: "Ring the bell!!" (He wanted to open the door, haha) and then got off. ★☆ 4. I am from high school. At noon, I ate two oranges after waking up at home. My fingers turned yellow after eating, and I went straight to school without washing my hands. In the afternoon, when I was with my classmates, a classmate said, "Why are you so disgusting?" Ah, I wiped my fingers after I pooped!" I said, "It's not poop, it's the orange I ate for lunch." After that, I rubbed my fingers. After two days, the whole school knew that there was a poop in our school. I wiped my butt with my fingers after I finished pooping, and when it was done, I would rub my fingers from time to time and said to my classmate that it smelled like orange★☆ 5. One day I was walking on the street with a beautiful friend. Suddenly, a vendor buying porn movies came over and was nice to me. My friend said: Hey, sister, come and see. There is a new movie. My friend was furious... What the heck, do I know you? ★☆ 6. When I was eating in a hotel, I was anxious during the meal, but the waiter was very enthusiastic. Said; Our hotel does not have a bathroom, you can go to the public toilet across the street. We have an agreement with them. When you get there, you can say that you are 'for food'!★☆ 7. One day, a female friend of mine ran up to me and said : "Depressed, I have hemorrhage." "Hemorrhage?" I asked. "It's just heavy menstrual flow!" Answer. Oh, as a man, of course I don't know what "hemorrhage" means. Two flowers bloom, one on each side. . A few days later, my boss who hadn’t given me a salary increase in several years suddenly gave me a salary increase. I was sitting in the office happily holding my pay slip and said, "It feels like I haven’t had my period for several months, and it suddenly came today." Everyone is bleeding." After saying that, I looked up and everyone in the office was staring at me... ★☆ 8. When I was in my senior year of high school, in the chemistry class, the teacher was talking about organic chemistry and polymers. Suddenly the teacher gave an example. I drew a "phthalein key" on the blackboard and told everyone that this is a "eunuch". Let's press "Methyl" for him. The following laughed ★☆ 9. I am studying computer science in college.

In the computer internship, everyone was crazy about CS while the teacher was taking a nap. Our captain couldn't help but get excited and quickly established a local area network. It was a classic dust2. The captain yelled: I'm cheap (build), I'm cheap (build), don't follow me. I grab it. ——! Don't worry, my captain, we won't compete with you. ★☆ 10. I had a boyfriend when I was in college. We only dated him not long ago, so I never went to his dormitory. One day I went to his dormitory to find him in an emergency. When I opened the door, I found that he was in the whole dormitory. Since He and his dormitory were not familiar with each other, I was a little nervous and asked him where he was. But for some reason, I blurted out: "Where's my man?!" The whole dormitory was silent for 10 seconds, and I rushed out of the door. ★☆ 11. This is really embarrassing! During the May Day holiday this year, my mother and I went to the mall together. We walked around for a long time. Later, I walked to a counter selling sports shoes, and my mother asked me to try on a pair of shoes. I was so tired that I even felt like I was not very clear. ~~~Maybe it’s because I tried on pants too much before. Without saying a word, I started to unbuckle my belt, and then naturally pulled down my pants. Oh my god, my mom called out, “Hey, what are you doing!” ! That's when I came back to my senses! The salesperson selling shoes looked at me dumbfounded. I was really...ah! My face is as hot as a roasted pig! What a shame! ★☆ 12. I had my first period (menstruation) when I was 13 years old. I was embarrassed to buy sanitary napkins by myself, so I asked my mother to buy them for me. But... I felt that it was very embarrassing to tell my mother. , and finally called my mother and hesitated for a long time, and finally got up the courage to say to my mother: Mom, I am pregnant (actually, I wanted to say, "Mom, something is wrong with me" but when I got nervous, it turned out...) My mother stared at me What do those big eyes say to me? ah? I blushed immediately, eh... so depressed★☆ 13. When I was in high school, I had lunch with my friend near school. He ordered a bowl of lasagna, and another friend was drinking Coke, and then someone told a joke. , the Coke drinker choked with laughter, and the Coke dripped from his nose.

The friend laughed at the other person's embarrassment, but who knew that a piece of bread spurted out from the nostrils! After graduating from college, I still couldn’t help but laugh every time I saw him★☆ 14. Once when I was shopping outside a store outside the station, a man suddenly rushed towards me and shouted anxiously, “Comrade, come and pack me a sanitary napkin.” The salesperson and I both said I was stunned and then thought about nothing. Maybe I bought it for his wife. The salesperson immediately handed him a pack of daily sanitary napkins. He was very anxious and said, "It's not this kind. I don't want this kind. I want the kind of sanitary napkins for men." The salesperson and I both collapsed... For men ★☆ 15. During the vacation, I went to a classmate’s school. She was a girl. She accompanied me around the school. When we passed a toilet, she said I should go to the toilet. Then I said I I also wanted to go. So I turned around and walked towards the men's room. Suddenly, she stopped me, took out a pack of tissues from her bag, and said, there is no paper in it, have you brought it? After that, she put the paper in my hand. Stuff... Then we looked at each other, looking at... She seemed to suddenly react, blushed, and said, just use it to wipe your hands... I kept muttering in my heart: You don't know that boys only need to shake Will two strokes be enough... ★☆ 16. There is a fool near the work. It seems that some kind of surgery damaged his brain all at once, so there are problems with his nerves and brain. He sees people every day, no matter who he knows. If you still don't know someone, you always chase them and ask: "Really?" Isn't it? Isn't it? ． ． ． Just these two words can catch a person and ask him N times. Once I met him at the door of my work after get off work. I was in a hurry to do something. He came over and I saw that he seemed to want to talk to me. I quickly said: Yes, yes. Yes,. ． ． In the end, the fool only said two words. ． ． Stupid ． ． I almost fainted ★☆ 17. What happened in junior high school... Two classmates (roommates) started scolding each other for some reason. One person scolded the other and said, "My roommate is a n.b." The other person got angry directly. He yelled, "Your deskmate is the NB!" The rest of us standing next to us couldn't stop laughing... ★☆ 18. When I was in Chinese class, the text was about the dangers of the environment, and something about it was leaked. , serious pollution and so on. Speaking of the emotional point, the 40-year-old Chinese language aunt angrily slapped the stage and said loudly: "You humans! You don't know how to protect the environment!!" The whole class was petrified★☆ 19. When I was in college, Before the winter vacation next year, I had to go to the gymnasium to queue up to buy train tickets. One year while queuing, I suddenly felt someone stabbing me from behind. I looked back and saw that it was the classmate behind me who was handing me a note. When I opened it, it said, "I am about 20 meters behind." The girl in the red sweater..." I searched carefully and found her. She had a red face and was very cute. She was exactly the type I like. There was hope and shyness in her eyes. I thought to myself, "Hey, is my handsome girl... The Ministry of Railways was alerted, and beauties came here because of it." So he quickly read the content behind the note, "I have extra sleeper berths for Hangzhou. If you want to buy them, please pass the note on if you don't want it..." ★☆ 20. A man passed through a cemetery at night and saw a fire. He thought it was a ghost fire, so he threw a brick. The fire moved to another grave. The man threw a brick again, and then he heard... Two bricks in time? ★☆ 21. A new clerk memorizes formulas in everything he does. An old lady bought a bottle of soy sauce. The clerk said: "I'll charge you xx yuan. I'll ask you xx yuan. What do you need?" Straw? The old lady fainted immediately... ★☆ 22. Once after school, my deskmate invited me to eat with her. Before leaving, she kindly reminded me, "Go to the toilet." I was probably only thinking about eating at that time. , blurted out "I'm not hungry"... When I looked back, I saw my deskmate squatting on the floor with laughter~★☆...