I want two cold jokes (many people don't know)

1. Teacher: "Can you make sentences with love at first sight?" You replied: "Yesterday my father asked me to review to 10. As soon as I saw the clock, I couldn't help going to bed. " Our teacher said, "if I teach you, I will live at least five years less." If I earn 200,000 a year, it will be 1 10,000 in five years. Honey, then you can publish a book. The name is "how I murdered a millionaire." When you are looking for a job, the boss asks when you will graduate. You want to say 2000. When you were excited, you said it was before 2000. Ten minutes after class, Xiao Pang raised his hand and said, Teacher, I want to go to the toilet. The teacher said unhappily, how old are you! Then go to the bathroom! ! 5. The unit toasted, and the leader said: I wish you good health. Stop, there is nothing to say ~~~ 6. Someone in the dormitory is looking for shoes and asks everyone: Why are my shoes? 7. When drinking with the leader, raise a glass and say, Let's die together! 8. Don't go out on rainy days, the rain is nontoxic, wet and gonorrhea is big! 9. No matter how high a woman stands, squatting can only wet the ground under her feet. Men are amazing! Stand higher and pee farther 10. Teacher, just follow the old woman! A few years later, teacher, please spare the old woman. 1 1. The liquor in the restaurant was watered again today, damn it! When I have money, I will also go to the grand hotel to drink remy martin and XO, and I will never let them fool me with 1986 and 1972. I want to drink, this year! I know I'm not a handsome guy, but many people have seen my full moon photo and said that my left nostril looks like an idol mantis. Is it cruel to eat male mantis after mating? However, some women have swallowed countless offspring during mating. It's been raining. I guess the jade emperor is crying. It must be that his marriage with the queen mother is unhappy. There are two possibilities for this unhappiness. One is that the queen mother is leaving; One is that the Queen Mother doesn't want to leave 13. When an old farmer got off the bus, a fat woman immediately squeezed into the seat where the old farmer had sat. I took out my napkin and wiped it at random. I cleaned three bags and felt very satisfied, so I sat down. But not long after, she put the ring on P, and an old man next to her saw it and said to him loudly: Little sister, you (really) love cleanliness! I have wiped three packs of paper and need to blow it. . . 14. On the bus platform, one person smiled and everyone else was surprised. Q: What are you laughing at? He replied: I fooled the conductor and asked: How did you brush it? He replied: hahaha, I bought a ticket and didn't get on the bus, hahaha ~ ~