Who can provide me with three short English jokes, the shorter the better, the funnier (with Chinese translation)? Thank you.

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner near the school, I see a sign that says "School-Go Slow".

Tom's excuse

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner, I see a sign that says, "School-Go slow." . Tom: William borrowed five pounds from me. Was it right for me to lend it to him?

Jack: Of course.

Tom: Why?

Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.

Tom: William borrowed five pounds from me. Should I lend it to him?

Jack: Of course.

Tom: Why?

Jack: Otherwise, he should borrow it from me. Nest and hair

My sister is a primary school teacher. One of her students told her that a bird has built its nest in a tree outside the classroom.

"What bird?" My sister asked.

"I don't see any birds, madam, only a bird's nest," the child replied.

"Then, can you describe this bird's nest for us?" My sister encouraged her.

"Well, madam, it's like your hair."

Bird's nest and hair

My sister is a primary school teacher. Once, a student told her that a bird had built a nest in a tree outside the classroom.

"What kind of bird is it?" Sister asked her.

"Teacher, I don't see any birds, only a bird's nest." The child replied.

"So, can you describe this bird's nest for us?" My sister encouraged her.

"Oh, teacher, just like your hair."