Who has a humorous joke? Humorous text messages! Crossword puzzles! Riddles will do! A famous poem will do! Help! I want to hand in my homework!

Once upon a time, a horse walked into a bar, sat down at the bar and asked the bartender for a glass of wine. The bartender said, your face is so long ... end of story.

Once upon a time, there was a lamb. One day, he went out to play and met a wolf. The wolf said, "I will eat you!" " "Guess what? As a result, the wolf ate the lamb.

One day, the little penguin asked his grandmother, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

A man wrote a love letter to his girlfriend.

In order to express his love more strongly, he drew many hearts on the back of the envelope and put them on with arrows.

Unfortunately, my girlfriend wrote back: "What does the kebab behind the envelope mean?"

There is an old lady in a mental hospital.

Wearing black clothes and holding a black umbrella every day, squatting in front of the hospital.

The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her.

So the doctor was dressed in black with a black umbrella and squatted there with her.

The two men were silent for a month.

Finally, the old lady said:

I'm sorry ...

Are you a mushroom, too

One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit.

He announced: "children, we can wash the fruit together after picking it, and we can eat it together after washing."

All the children went to pick fruit.

As soon as the assembly time came, all the children got together.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what do you have?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked them."

Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? "

A-Ming: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit."

Pig Bajie was making out with Chang 'e on the moon when suddenly a dark shadow passed by and Pig Bajie hurriedly carried a rake.

After chasing him out, he came back after a while and said, damn it, Yang Liwei. ......

In order to prevent patients from escaping, the hospital set up a channel of 100, but there are still two mental patients who want to escape from the hospital. Work hard at night

Over the wall. Under the 30th wall,

"Are you tired?" ,

"Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards.

Under the 60th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards.

Under the 99th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"tired"

"Well, let's go back to rest."

You ask the pig freely, and the pig asks, "Guess how many sweets I have in my pocket?" You ask: If you do it right.

Can I have it? The pig said, "You guessed right, I'll give you two." Your mouth is watering.

Q: "Is it three dollars?"

There are two sausages in the refrigerator.

Long time no see.

One shook it with a sausage: "Wow! It's so cold ~ ~ ~! "

Another sausage was surprised and said, "Hey? So sausages can also talk? "

Xiao said to Xiao B, Wow ... It's raining outside! ! Have you seen it?

Xiao B is very excited: Yes, I saw it! What about you?

Xiao Zhang teaches in a junior high school. He is tall and handsome, but when he is nervous, he stutters. On one occasion, when he was invigilating the monthly exam, he found a student looking for an answer with his head down and his book turned. Angry, he pointed to the cheating students and shouted, "You, you, you, you dare to cheat, stand up for me!" " As soon as the words were finished, six students stood up at once.