My interpersonal relationship is quite bad. Nobody cares about me, and they deliberately exclude me. What should I do?

Character this thing! ~! ~! Hey! It is determined by the external environment and your own growth experience! ! !

Introverts are difficult to communicate with. (1) How do introverts communicate successfully ○ Introverts want to communicate successfully, first of all, they must clarify a concept. Introversion is not equal to bad personality, and it is not equal to obstacles to successful communication. Many accomplished diplomats in the world, such as Zhou Enlai, Qian Qichen, the first foreign minister of New China, gromyko, the foreign minister of the former Soviet Union, Dr. Kissinger, former UN Secretary-General Boutros Boutros-Ghali and current Secretary-General Annan, are not extroverted and aggressive people. However, this not only did not prevent them from becoming professional diplomats with high requirements for communication skills, but also their deep tolerance, elegant conversation, keen thinking and incisive judgment on key points added endless personality charm to them. However, Khrushchev, the leader of the former Soviet Union, who has always been famous for his outward orientation and imposing manner, left a vulgar and humble impression on the world when he delivered a speech at the United Nations General Assembly and became a world-class laughing stock.

Through the introduction of the above contents, we can make it clear that an extroverted character is not necessarily a good character, and an introverted character is not necessarily a bad character. It is not only wrong in theory, but also inconsistent with the objective facts that only extroverted and eloquent people will have strong communication skills, and that "introversion" and "poor communication" are equated.

Introverts must give full play to their character strengths if they want to communicate successfully.

Because introverts always explain external things according to their own additional associative meanings in a specific state of mind, they are more accustomed to being immersed in their personal spiritual world. Over time, they gradually develop the characteristics of being calm and practical, like thinking, patient and cautious, and strong self-control, but sometimes they are sensitive, suspicious, depressed, timid and stubborn. Introverts don't talk much, don't like sharp edges, are "tight-lipped" and are very good listeners, and rarely slip up. Therefore, they are often more likely to win the trust of others than those who are so-called extroverted and speak quickly, and people are more willing to tell them anything. Therefore, most introverts have a good reputation, and the friends they make are often bosom friends. In addition, introverts are generally not as restless as extroverts and have relatively few playmates, so they can have more time to observe and think more calmly, objectively and deeply. Their understanding of problems is often more original and imaginative than extroverts. If an introverted person can give full play to his advantages in these aspects, then he may become an educated and attractive person and have many friends at the same time.

If introverts want to communicate successfully, they should try their best to turn their personality weaknesses into character strengths.

Some personality defects of introverts, from another perspective, also have two sides. For example, an obvious weakness of introverts is cowardice and weakness. However, for many introverts, cowardice and weakness are manifested in obeying the law, being friendly to others and not being rude. When people get along with these introverts, they will feel more secure and have no psychological burden.

Moreover, for introverts, kindness and gentleness can develop in a tough direction, which is another kind of fortitude and courage, that is, not to oppress others on the spot, but to achieve their goals in a tactful and roundabout way. In order to free the Indian people from British colonial rule, Mahatma Gandhi waged a long and arduous peace struggle and finally made the country independent. Isn't he also full of convincing personality charm? To do this, the key is to establish confidence and stick to faith. Courage and tenacity are not only exclusive to extroverts, but also admirable to introverts with perseverance. In fact, many introverts often have problems here. They lack affirmation of self-worth. They first denied introversion and self-denial, creating an ideological shackle for themselves. Imagine, a person who lacks confidence in himself so much, what great things can we expect him to accomplish!

-Xin Di of Speech and Eloquence Network

(2) How do introverts build good interpersonal relationships?

Generally speaking, a person's personality is formed for a long time, and a pattern is formed through the inheritance of congenital physiology, the cultivation of small families and the influence of the environment. Change is not an easy task, it takes considerable time and energy. And it doesn't have to be changed. Introverts can also communicate effectively and be popular.

First, enthusiasm. Psychologists have found that "enthusiasm" is one of the most touching and attractive qualities. Carnegie, an American adult education master, said, "As long as you are sincerely interested in others, you will get more friends in two months than a person who wants others to be interested in him or her in two years." Practice has proved that people tend to like and get close to those who are passionate about themselves more easily. If you smile at others, they will smile back at you. Although I can't speak eloquently, I am very warm to others. You always help others when they are in trouble. Your behavior tells others that you are a worthy person.

Second, sincerity. In the discussion of interpersonal communication, almost all experts and scholars emphasize that honesty is an important principle to establish a good and harmonious interpersonal relationship. A large number of studies have proved that sincerity is the communication mode that people expect, while insincerity is the communication mode that people refuse. Because people have such a psychological need that the surrounding environment can be grasped. In communication, only mutual honesty, mutual understanding and mutual trust can produce emotional harmony and consolidate and develop communication relations. This shows that you may not be cheerful enough, but you are not malicious or hypocritical. Your words and deeds are consistent, and your appearance is the same. Your side will gradually attract more and more people willing to make friends with you.

Third, humor. Humor is the ability to deal with complex problems with wit. It comes from the insight into things in the world, and faces the contradictions or conflicts in life with a smile. People will avoid and stay away from a person who is always serious because he makes everyone nervous. But people like people with a sense of humor, because humor gives life interest and vitality, and embellishes the days more warmly and beautifully. Although you don't talk much at the party, you are certainly more popular than those whose nonsense makes people impatient.

Fourth, study. Including two aspects, one is to learn from books, constantly improve their knowledge and self-cultivation, and make themselves a connotative person. The second is to learn from others, observe how others communicate with others, how to speak freely, and combine their own personality characteristics and life experiences to continuously improve their communication skills and abilities. (www . gy 16 . com/CG/info/9 164- 1 . htm)

(3) Teenagers must pay attention to the word "participation", that is, actively participate in social activities and group activities in order to get rid of this abnormal mood, get out of the introverted hut and establish harmonious interpersonal relationships. Because social activities and group activities are the most common social practices, in these practical activities, first of all, whether organized or implemented, or in contact, conversation and cooperation with people, you can increase your knowledge, accumulate experience, enhance your talents, improve your courage and confidence, gradually change your unsociable and introverted personality, and alleviate the psychological contradiction between enhanced activity ability and lack of knowledge and experience; Secondly, participating in these activities is not only conducive to meeting the psychological needs of teenagers' spiritual life, but also can consume their redundant energy, thus reducing the inexplicable agitation when they are alone and alleviating the contradiction between sexual needs and social morality; Third, participating in these activities is also a good opportunity for young men and women to communicate normally, accumulate experience in getting along with the opposite sex, and satisfy the psychology of seeking differences such as understanding the opposite sex and establishing friendship with the opposite sex. Many teenagers usually want to associate with the opposite sex and get to know the opposite sex, but when they really associate with the opposite sex, they will blush or even fidget, and gradually develop into fear of interacting with people, especially the opposite sex, thus falling into distress and confusion. Participating in social and group activities is the most effective way to solve distress and confusion; Fourth, only by contacting people, talking and understanding can feelings sprout, friendship be established and friends be found. When people devote themselves wholeheartedly to group activities, the friendship of comrades-in-arms, the warmth of the group and the stimulation of entertainment will make people forget the troubles and pressures in life and lose their sense of insecurity and loneliness, which will not only help them relax physically and mentally, but also establish a virtuous circle of emotions and promote mental health. In a word, participating in social and group activities is an important way to promote and maintain mental health, and it is the first condition to establish harmonious interpersonal relationships.

Of course, interpersonal skills are also very important, which can help you shorten the distance with others. First of all, you need to be self-aware. A person who has a big gap between self-evaluation and social evaluation is difficult to correctly respect social needs and collective will, and often easily gets himself into trouble. For example, at the end of the term, some people only see their own achievements and others' shortcomings, but they can't see their own shortcomings and others' achievements. Therefore, once they fail in self-evaluation, they will blame cadres and teachers, classmates and friends, or alienate them, or be irritable and excited, and easily quarrel with others, which will affect interpersonal relationships. There are also some people who see their own shortcomings everywhere, but they can't see their own advantages. They always feel that they are inferior to others and can't hold their heads in front of others, so they dare not associate with others. Therefore, everyone should always face up to their own advantages and disadvantages, consciously adjust the relationship between personal behavior and social requirements, and do not do to others what you don't want them to do, so as to establish good interpersonal relationships. Secondly, we should understand and observe the needs of others. Because of different motives and hobbies, the person you like may not like it, and the person you don't like may prefer it. Therefore, in interpersonal communication, if you can stand in each other's position, put yourself in others' shoes and take care of others, you can reduce many misunderstandings and unpleasant conflicts. For example, if you find that others are jealous of you, you must be disgusted, but think about it, if others surpass you, will you be jealous of others? When you think about this, I'm afraid your understanding will come to life, your unhappiness will disappear, even your pride will be aroused, and your self-esteem and self-confidence will be enhanced. Third, we should respect and trust others. In communication, only those who respect and trust others can win the respect and trust of others and become popular people. On the other hand, people who are arrogant, suspicious and restless can't get along well with others. The easiest way is to learn to be a loyal listener. "Because listening carefully to others is the minimum respect for others, people who can listen patiently are often welcome." Fourth, don't care too much about what others say about yourself. Many people are shy, afraid to associate with others and participate in group activities. Their inner activities are afraid of not doing well and being laughed at, so they protect their "self-esteem" by "avoiding" communication with others. In fact, no one is perfect, even if the same thing, different people have different views. Therefore, everyone, from great men to ordinary people, will be evaluated by others, whether it is good or bad, whether it is good or bad. And in most cases, people like to evaluate the shortcomings of others, and as a result, many people are criticized by others? Drowned alive "Therefore, we should have our own opinions on other people's evaluation, don't be too happy because of other people's praise, don't be anxious or even disheartened because of other people's belittling, but" change what you have, and encourage what you don't have "and accept it calmly. Fifth, be aboveboard, don't speak ill of others behind their backs, and don't gossip, so that others will think you are credible, amiable, reliable and respectable.

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