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Insurance companies sell insurance jokes.

1, insurance advertisement

When I was in the street on Sunday, someone put an insurance advertisement in my hand: "Go and buy our company's life insurance, so that if your hand is accidentally broken, you can get 20 thousand yuan compensation;" If your foot is broken, you will get 50 thousand yuan; If your neck is unfortunately broken, then your family is the richest person in this city. "

2. Results

A man bought life insurance for his wife. After signing the contract, the man asked the salesman, "If my wife dies tonight, how much can I get?" The salesman replied, "About twenty years in prison."

3. Foresight

Wife: "Why are you wearing my clothes? You are out of your mind! " ! What's it like to be seen by other passengers? Take it off quickly. "

Husband: "Shh, be quiet! I have no insurance. Don't you know that when a ship sinks, it always saves the female passengers first! "

4. Personal insurance

Father and son are walking back after visiting the night market. On the way, a robber pointed a gun at the young man: "put the money down!" " "

The old man jumped on the robber and told his son, "Run!" " "

The robber said, "You old man is dying."

"Yes, you shoot, I have personal insurance!"

5. Be sure to bend the rules

At the insurance company, a customer stood panting at the counter and asked for fire insurance for his house. "Please be flexible and do it at once," said the man eagerly. "The house is already smoking."

Step 6 promote

The salesman of the insurance company persuaded a person: "You live happily today, and you may fall into the ditch tomorrow."

The other party shook his head with great interest. The clerk went on excitedly: "Look at Mrs. Wang next door! He took out accident insurance of 654.38+10,000 yuan and broke his leg every few days.

"I know," the other person still shook his head, "but that kind of good luck is not much!"

7. Speed

Zhang San: "I'm afraid I can't find a second insurance company to pay as quickly as our company." If our client dies unexpectedly in the morning, his beneficiary will get all the insurance money in the afternoon.

Li Si: "This is nothing! Our headquarters is located on the 45th floor of the skyscraper. One morning, an insured person committed suicide by jumping from a window on the 70th floor. When he fell into the window of our company, we gave him all the insurance money by the way. "

8. Advantages of old age

An old man went to an insurance company to take out life insurance.

"But, sir," said the clerk of the insurance company, "you don't want all our customers to be over 100, do you?"

"Why not?" The old man replied, "If you look at this statistical table clearly, very few people died at the age of 94."

9. Insurance application

Insurance agent: now let's fill out this form ... how old was your father when he died? "

Applicant: Who said my father was dead? He is as strong as a bull.

Insurance agent: So how old was your grandfather when he died?

Insured: Who said my grandfather died? He is not only alive, but also a golf master.

Insurance agent: Oh, when did your great-grandfather die?

Applicant: Who said that my great-grandfather died? He is now 126 years old and has just remarried!

Insurance Agent:/kloc-Why do men aged 0/26 still get married?

Insured: Who said he "wants" to get married? He really has to do this.

10, waste

My wife doesn't recognize the function of insurance and thinks that it is a waste to pay insurance premiums. Mr. Wang quickly explained: "Insurance is for you and your children. In case I die, you also have a guarantee. "

The wife retorted, "What if you don't die?"

1 1, who?

In the training class for newcomers, the lecturer asked the trainees: "There was a man who paid a sum of money to an insurance company to buy insurance for himself, and the beneficiary was his wife. Later, he had a traffic accident on a trip and died unfortunately. So who should he belong to? "

A student stood up and replied, "Oh, I think it should be a dead man, teacher." .

He is engaged in insurance.

The broadcast of a TV movie caused a sensation. Actors are amateurs, and their roles are well grasped and natural. The reporter asked curiously, "That shrew played really well. Who is she? "

A: "Oh, she is a bus conductor."

Q: "What about the underworld boss?"

A: "I have been the police chief for many years."

Q: "What about hypocrites?"

A: "I used to be a university professor, but now I am a government official."

Q: "The innocent princess played a touching role. Who is she? "

A: "I found it from a nightclub."

Q: "Bandits? The performance is too natural. "

A: "I used to be a city manager, but now I am in the tax bureau."

Q: "What about the old liar? This person has no traces of affectation. "

A: "He is a successful lawyer."

Finally, the reporter asked, "What about the clerk? Work hard, be on call, work overtime without paying, and never complain. "

Answer: "well, it is in place. I have done group training in insurance companies before. "

Further reading: How to buy insurance, which is good, and teach you how to avoid these "pits" of insurance.