Ask for some classic jokes about football?

football joke------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is because I dreamed of a football match.

what does this have to do with being late? Xiao Ming, please explain.

Teacher, you don't know, the football match in my dream was extremely fierce. They were tied for two games, and it was delayed for a long time.

-----------. The lawyer shouted.

Simpson was frightened to disgrace and trembled. "But ... but we still have a jury?"

"this is worse! The jury members are all China linesmen! "

Simpson started to run, and his whereabouts are still unknown.

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the football association agrees.

In the coaching team, apart from a seven-year-old chess boy, Beibei, a German shepherd, and an African pregnant woman are specially invited.

The players are all Shaolin monks, and the former captain and striker is a juggler, who is frustrated by seeing through the world of mortals.

The team leader is Japan's Sumo Yeli Friendship.

the training course is simple.

In the morning, Beibei leads the way, but the wild power is behind. Those who fall behind, the wild forces throw their backs to the fullest, until the filth comes out. Later, individual coaches and players ran away, fearing that Beibei would chase them.

the day before yesterday, the chess boy gave the score, and there was no other way to do it by rote.

Adding meals to lunch is African women's milk, and everyone sucks it, which is not without gentleness.

in the afternoon, play football as usual.

in the evening, all the staff fell asleep and no one went out.

after a month, you will enter the competition. Wherever you go, it's like nobody's business. The captain shoots, hitting every shot, like a game.

countries are exempt from war and follow suit.

domestic football dominates the world and is invincible.

national joy.

-----------.

God: "5 years."

Koreans cried: "I will never see it in my life."

The Japanese also asked God: "When can we win the World Cup?"

God replied, "Maybe 1 years."

The Japanese cried, "I will never see it again."

At this time, the China people asked, "When can we win the World Cup?"

God cried: "I can't see."

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there is a student (let's just call him Jordan) who is going to graduate, but calculus can't pass anyway. He can't graduate and play nb

a! So he asked his coach, who is also the coach of the school team, to help him plead.

Coach: "Professor, please make sure that Jordan can live. The nba has been waiting for him for a long time!

professor: "all right! Since the coaches have come to intercede, I will give you one last chance. "

" What is one plus one?

Jordan immediately replied without thinking: "Two"

Coach: "Professor, please give him another chance! "

--------------.

Dave: Who said that?

wife: don't you admit it? Let me ask you, when was our little treasure born?

Dave: On the day of the match between Liaoning team and Bayi team!

-----------.

"You'd better make it clear," some players responded, "Either play honestly or

win!"

-----------.

"absolutely not." Bud answered immediately.

"absolutely not?" The surprised reporter asked, "Why?"

"Football is that 22 people who need a rest run desperately on the court. And 4, people who need exercise are

sitting there watching

--------------------. Seriously interfered with family life, and my wife was cold

physically and mentally, and I felt remorseful and guilty. I hereby made a profound review to my wife and promised to make a clean slate and not make the same mistake in the next four years

. If you commit another crime, your wife has the right to return to her family, and all her life will be taken care of. "

2. Two boxes of instant noodles and 66 sausages

No matter whether your wife goes back to her mother's house or not, no one will cook for you in the middle of the night to solve the problem of fasting. Therefore, you can

buy a batch of instant noodles and ham sausages at wholesale prices in Wankelong and the island, and earn enough food and clothing by yourself.

It's a pleasure.

3. Two bottles of

instant noodles with X Kang will inevitably lead to malnutrition, which can be supplemented by X Kang. It is said that this product is a multivitamin tablet, which contains many vitamins and trace elements needed by human body every day, and it is especially effective for those who have irregular diet due to special hobbies. Stay in the green hills, not afraid of not watching the ball. 3 tablets per bottle, so two bottles are recommended.

4. An alarm clock

What's the use of this thing? It goes without saying.

It is suggested that manufacturers produce a special alarm clock, and when the time falls, they shout "Kick-off! Kick off! " And with the kick-off whistle

, the singing of Serie A stadium (the "Oleo" one) can make you feel sleepy and refreshed.

5. A resignation letter

was placed in front of the boss's case at the beginning of the 6th. The purpose of this book is not to be drunk. First, it is reasonable to understand. Unfortunately, the World Cup started in the western half

, and there is nothing I can do to stop time, so that day and night will be reversed and my work will be affected during the day. I

greeted you in advance. The second is to be emotional. I'm willing to lose my job for what I like. Where can I find such a decisive and loyal subordinate? Besides, it's only once every four years, and you won't be able to get it right!

6. Ten cases of beer

A few years ago, similar people in France kept one case of wine each. When the whistle sounded, they opened the lid and thought about it after watching the game. China

people are not so romantic and petty. It costs money on the one hand, and consumes energy on the other. It's better to carry ten cases of beer under the bed, "open

waves" with bottles as cups, take the World Cup as a kind of snacks, and have three or five confidants. It's a great pleasure!

7. A spare TV set

for China team to be eliminated by the strong brigade in the group stage. In view of the fact that the China team has not been involved in this field, this article will not be considered, and it is not too late to come to

day to express my feelings.

-----------. Ask for help.

God said to Fu Geci, "Give you Italian aura." Fu Geci left happily.

God said to Sacchi, "Give you German will." Sacchi left happily. God said to Pasa

Leila, "Make Diego Maradona ten years younger, and ..." "That's enough." " God pondered for a long time and sighed

and said, "Well, I'll turn all your girls into men."

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the defender made a mistake, and the opposing striker was single-handed.

the audience is nervous! ! !

The goalkeeper used his quick wits and sounded like a whistle.

the striker thought it was offside and stopped.

the goalkeeper is overjoyed.

then the defender checks the ball and wants to serve a free kick.

the referee whistled.

The defender handball in the restricted area was sentenced to death.

-----------.

Satan replied, "Don't be too happy. I invited China as the referee."

-----------.

-----------. The coach greeted the examiner in advance and said,

"Our player culture is poor, so the topic is not too difficult."

the examiner agreed.

During the exam, the examiner looked at the players for a while and asked,

"How much do you say seven times seven?"

The player thought for a while and said,

"I think it's forty-nine."

Before the examiner spoke, the coach stood up and said earnestly,

"Examiner, please give him another chance."

-----------. Silly coach: Because the dance hall in front of our team doesn't close until 1 o'clock, of course I have to leave half an hour to walk for the players.

Every shot hits the target

Huang Fan: Your players' shots in the game are not high or high. How can you improve the accuracy of their shots? Stupid coach: I punished those players who played anti-aircraft guns in the game and kept practicing shooting at a point.

Huang fan: How did it work?

Stupid coach: The improvement of accuracy is far beyond my imagination. They all shoot the ball at the other team's gatekeeper accurately in the next game.

Experienced

Huang Fan: Why did you ask Wang Laotou to be a goalkeeper? Stupid coach: Wang laotou has been guarding the warehouse gate for decades, and he has never missed a mistake. He is experienced, so < P > I will send him to play.

Only occasionally

Yellow fans: Are you clear? The FIFA lecturer said that it is ok to make mistakes on the court occasionally, but it must not be made frequently.

silly coach: I've heard about it for a long time, and I've already told my team. I

told them to make only occasional mistakes on the court in the future.

-----------. Blessed are countries with small populations.

Jamaica, Paraguay, Tunisia, Croatia, and Denmark, with populations of less than 1 million, can all enter the

finals, while great countries such as China, India, Russia, Bangladesh, Indonesia, and so on, have not

selected more than 2 football elites to be shortlisted.

two. Blessed are countries with small areas.

Croatia, the Netherlands, Denmark, Belgium and Paraguay all have land areas of less than 1, square kilometers, and Jamaica even has an area of 1, square kilometers. All of them can have elites galloping in Paris, but such a big country as China can't raise a few green land.

three. Blessed are politicians in poor countries.

You have never had a chance to compete with rich countries on the international stage, but now you have won something on the court that you can't do on the battlefield. Look at Iran, look at Argentina.

four. Blessed are the men who love football.

You will be more or less forgiven for taking a nap at work in broad daylight these days, because your boss also watches football.

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