Happy event jokes for children.

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Next, I will bring you a little joke about happy event, a child. I hope you like it!

Happy event joke for children 1 1, I went to pick up my son from school and saw two pupils fighting at the school gate. I was just about to go up and stop fighting. Suddenly a primary school student who was watching shouted, "No, Xiao Ming's sister is coming, run!" " "

After saying this, the soldier ran away and saw a girl running breathlessly and said, "Aren't you just getting fatter and fatter?" You're scared, aren't you? " Then, I took my brother away.

Take my son to get the test report. My son pointed to the blood type test and asked me, "Mom, the doctor gave me zero!" "

I took a look at the list. It says: type o blood.

Dad encourages his 4-year-old son to exercise more and grow more muscles, so that he can be healthy and doesn't like getting sick. The son thought it over carefully and asked, "Dad, can't you grow chicken feathers?"

4. Mom: "Son, I saw your brother take the smallest apple. Did you tell him that he was free to choose, as I said? "

Son: "OK, Mom. I told him to take the smallest one, otherwise he didn't want anything, so he took the smallest one. "

5. "Mom, the mouse jumped into our milk bucket!"

"oh! Did you catch it? "

"No, but I put our cat in.

Children's happy event 2 1. In the church, a little boy was praying: "God! I only have a small wish, please move the capital to new york! "

Hearing this, a priest asked the little boy, "Children, why do you pray to move the capital to new york?"

The little boy replied, "There is a question asking where the capital is, and I answered new york."

2. In the mid-term exam, my daughter's math scores went backwards by a big step, and my wife was anxious and contacted the cram school. The cram school requires students to bring their own learning tools, textbooks, materials and exercise books.

After breakfast, I sent my daughter to make up lessons. I asked her, "Is everything ready?"

Daughter patted the bag: "I'm ready."

I casually asked again, "What have you prepared?"

The daughter said, "biscuits, sausages, jelly, and a few pieces of Shaqima."

My cousin's daughter is over 4 years old. Once my cousin jokingly asked her daughter, "We are going to raise a pig, but we need to arrange work. We should choose one person to feed the pig delicious food every day, clean the room for the pig every day, bathe the pig every day and play with the pig every day. What role do you want to choose? "

She answered without hesitation: "pig".

My son is very fat, and the school always loses every time it engages in cultural and sports activities. Last night, my son told me excitedly: "The school will hold a sports meeting next week, and I finally got into the drum band."

I said, "My son has made great progress and learned to play drums."

The son said, "I play drums."

5. After lunch, the teacher saw Xiaogang walking with a few steamed buns and walked into the school gate.

The teacher asked, "Don't you have no money to buy a pen in the morning and can't do your homework?"

Xiao Gang replied: "Yes!"

The teacher asked again, "Where did you get the money to buy steamed bread now?"

Xiao Gang replied: "This ... this is called' earmarking'!"

Children's happy event 3 1. On Teacher's Day, I teach Class One. Just entering the classroom, the students said in unison, "Happy Teacher's Day to Mr. Wang." I am very happy.

In the second class, I gave it to Class Three, and the students didn't say anything. I am very depressed.

After class, I said, "There is no homework today."

As soon as the voice fell, I heard the students shouting, "Happy Teacher's Day to Mr. Wang!"

2. A family of three went to a restaurant for dinner. After eating, my father paid the bill, and my mother said to the waiter, "Can I pack the leftovers and take them home to feed the dog?"

"Sure, please."

The son next to him asked, "Do we really want to buy a dog?"

3. A man wants to get a divorce, find a beautiful young woman as his wife and devote himself to his daughter's work.

One day, he said to his daughter in kindergarten, "I find your mother is too old." Do you want me to exchange it for a young and beautiful one? "

Without thinking, the daughter said, "But I found that your mother is older than mine!" " "

4. The school organizes a spring outing, and each person has to pay 100 yuan. My son came home and said, "Mom, I won't go for a spring outing. It's a waste of money. " After listening to this, the mother felt that her son had grown up and was sensible.

The next day, as soon as my son got home, he called, "Mom, give me 100 yuan. I'm going for a spring outing. "

Mom said, "Didn't you say no? How did you change your mind? "

The son said, "The teacher changed his mind. It was originally said that all students who went for a spring outing should write travel notes. Today, he said that students who go for a spring outing don't have to write. "

Recently, more and more people drive out to work. The wife said uneasily, "Hurry up and install a GPS locator in the car so that I can keep track of your whereabouts in time."

Hearing this, the youngest daughter asked, "Dad, please install one for the younger brother next door."

I asked, "What for?"

The youngest daughter smiled coldly and said, "I want to play hide-and-seek with him."

One day, I parked my bike in the carport, and when I came back, my car was gone. I just saw the lock put aside. It's not broken, but it still works. I felt it was a pity to throw it away, so I locked it on someone else's bike and left ... "

2. Zorro has a tryst at his mistress's house. Mistress: What if my husband comes back? Zorro: If he comes back, I will jump out of the window and my horse will catch me. Mistress: If he hears a knock at the door, he will come back. After a while, it rained heavily. Suddenly someone knocked at the door. Just then, Zorro jumped out of bed and jumped out of the window. The hostess opened the door and saw a horse standing in front of it. Ma said, tell Zorro it's raining outside and I'll wait for him in the corridor.

3. A young woman took out the garbage, accidentally slipped in the garbage and was about to get up. She was held in her arms by an old rag-picker. The old man said with emotion: people in the city just can't live, and such a good daughter-in-law said no.

4. A child's diary: Monday, February 30th will be fine. It's really bad that there is no sun today. My father bought a goldfish and drowned it in the water tank. I am very sad … Teacher's comment: I am also very sad. In February, I have never met the 30th in my life. I have never seen a sunny day without the sun. Never seen a goldfish drowned in the water. ...

Children's happy event joke 5 1. When eating, the son suddenly asked the father who was the leader: Dad, why do you have to multiply and divide first and then add and subtract? The teacher talked for a long time, but I still didn't understand.

Dad: It's just like the regulations in the superior documents. It doesn't matter if you don't understand, just execute it.

2. My mother-in-law disagreed and often quarreled.

I have no choice but to write a letter to my son who works in other places: Son, there is something wrong with our family. According to my careful observation, the main reason is that your wife and my wife don't share a room. I think we should criticize each other's wives for the sake of family unity. Really can't. I think the only solution is to abandon your wife and keep mine.

Dad didn't know what to do for a while after he retired, and fell madly in love with online games.

This is a big problem for the elderly who are not in good health. In order to treat dad's internet addiction, we must try to let him go outdoors. When he is interested in other things, the internet addiction will be lifted.

Next, my mother and I took turns doing my father's work, and he finally agreed to accompany her to travel.

A week later, my parents came back from a trip.

After meeting, I asked my father, "How was your trip these days?"

Dad is very happy: "yes, my game role has risen to three levels!" " "

Children happy event 6 1. When the train passed through the countryside, it was unbearably fast and kept stopping. When the train stopped at a small station again, a passenger jumped out and said to the conductor, can't you walk faster?

Sure, but I can't leave the train.

The penniless tramp got on the train from Guangzhou without buying a ticket. Every time the conductor catches him, he throws him off at the next stop.

Where are you going?

Tramp: If my ass can eat, I'll go to Harbin.

3. School train ticket sales point: Tickets are particularly tight now. If the train ticket you want is gone, will you obey the adjustment?

Me: Obey.

After getting the ticket the next day, I was very angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did I get a ticket to Shanxi! ! !

School booking office: Didn't you say that you obey the adjustment?

4. In the restaurant at the station.

Passenger: Waiter, I have chewed this fried pork chop for 10 minutes!

Attendant: Don't worry! Sir, your train is three hours late! "

Children's happy event 7 1. During the job interview, the HR manager asked the candidate: Do you have leadership and organizational skills? The applicant proudly replied: Do you still need to ask? I organized many strikes in my previous company.

Some people complain that salesgirls make up during working hours. Everyone thinks that the manager will be furious. Who wants the manager to simply say: it's outrageous not to let people make up! Since then, no one has tried to make up.

A citizen just celebrated his centenary birthday when a reporter came to interview him. What do you think made you live so long? "asked the reporter. The old man thought about it, knocked on the table with his hand and said word for word, "I never smoke or drink, never overeat, and always get up at six in the morning." "But," the reporter objected, "I have an uncle who did the same thing as you, but only lived to be fifty years old. Why is this? " "He won't last long." The old man answered calmly.

4. Wife: Husband, you are too capable. After dinner, why don't you do the laundry? Husband: If you praise me, I will definitely suffer! Wife: That's right! The word "boast" is composed of "big" and "loss"!

At the railway station, the three-year-old son wanted to pee, and his father said, "Pee on the railway." The child said, "What if I slip the train?"

6. It was late one day, so I couldn't sleep. I just stopped sleeping and recalled the beauty of my school days! I remember when I was in class, the teacher was lecturing ... and then I fell asleep. I use this method when I can't sleep again.

7. In the middle of the night, the child woke up and cried. Dad decided to sing a lullaby to coax him. Just after singing a few words, there was a protest next door: You'd better let the child cry, I can stand it in my heart!

8. Mother wished her son a sweet dream, and his son got up and took out snacks from the drawer. Mom: Son, it's not good to eat before going to bed! Son: Don't you want me to have a sweet dream?

Child happy event 8 1 "I can't see too far," the patient said to the ophthalmologist. "Please follow me," the doctor took the patient outside and pointed to the sun in the sky. "What do you think that is?" "the sun." The patient replied. "Then how far do you want to see!"

One day, the animals smelled an unpleasant smell in front of Guan Gong Temple. The snake said: I am too young to fart so smelly. It must be a cow. The cow said: I eat grass, and I won't fart so smelly. The pig said: People who fart will blush. Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out and drove the pig away, saying, How many times have I told you, I was born blushing.

3. One day, a man met God ... God suddenly kindly gave him a wish ... God asked ... Do you have any wishes? The man thought about it ... I heard that cats have nine lives ... Please give me nine lives ... God said ... your wish has come true ... That man is idle and bored ... He wants to say death ... In short, he has nine lives and is lying on the railroad track ... As a result, a train passes by ... that man is still dead ... Why? Because that train has 10 cars. ......

It is said that thousands of years ago, both male and female dogs were squatting when urinating. It was not until the Tang Dynasty that the situation changed ... You have heard of Emperor Taizong! His old man keeps a pair of Beijing dogs. On one occasion, Emperor Taizong went to Huashan to offer sacrifices to heaven, and took this pair of ... sacrifices with him in the middle. The bitch suddenly became anxious and ran under a tree to solve the problem. This is a very disrespectful behavior during the sacrifice, which annoyed the Jade Emperor. The Jade Emperor ordered Lei Gong to hit a thunder, which hit the tree right. The tree fell down and killed the bitch. The male dog was very scared when he saw it. ......

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