Zhou Libo's funny classic joke

First, don't cut corners, or you will run away in vain; Don't take a long detour, or you will be late; Don't go astray, or you will go to jail; Don't go to the underworld, or you will get a knife; Don't just want, pay less; Don't worry, be sure to avoid impatience; It is natural to ask for nothing in return; Don't get it in a hurry, there will be no troubles if you are calm; Don't be afraid of people laughing, see who laughs till the end; Don't pretend to know and ask if you don't understand.

The second is the third grade exam. Because I didn't review before, I got up and left the examination room when I saw most of the questions in the history exam. The teacher was surprised. I said that we teenagers should pay more attention to the future. ...

3. Chinese cabbage, radish, kelp, vermicelli and tofu go to the restaurant happily. People ask: Why go? "Go and eat shabu-shabu!" The man then asked, who is treating you? "Mutton!"

Frye made great efforts to write a love letter to the girl he likes. Finally, he said: I will answer this paper and wait for your admission notice! ! ! Not long after, the reply came, with only four words in it: the quota is full. Frye refused to give up and sent another letter: How about I sign up for the next issue? This reply is: wait until the beginning of next semester!

A Dai came to the restaurant: Give me a meatloaf, some bread and a kind word. When the waiter brought meatloaf and bread, A Dai asked, "What language do I need?" ? The waiter whispered, don't eat this meatloaf!

W: I already have a boyfriend. M: I don't mind. I still like you. Other people's comments-what a spoony man. M: I already have a girlfriend. W: I don't mind. I still like you. Other people's comments-wipe! Shameless mistress

Seventh, we are not perfect people, but we must accept our imperfect selves. Comfort yourself when you are lonely; Give yourself warmth when you are lonely. Learn to be independent, bid farewell to dependence, and bid farewell to your weak self. Life is not only warm, the road of life will not always be smooth sailing, but as long as you have confidence in yourself, know your own value and cherish yourself, you can face all the imperfections in the world calmly.

Eight, people must travel, especially girls. A girl's knowledge is very important. If you read more, you will naturally open your mind and broaden your horizons, which will affect your views on many things. Traveling makes people knowledgeable, especially girls. It will make them more confident and will not get lost in the material world.

Nine, I have been to your world, but unfortunately I just passed by; I hate it when you live in my heart. I am your passer-by, but you have become a permanent passer-by in my heart ... I can't find a reason to be sad, and I am not qualified to judge you no matter how you treat me.

Ten, the three laws of the workplace; : either bear it! Either hard! Or get out!

Eleven, let you see through the seven sentences of life: 1. The past never comes back, and the back is no longer perfect. 2. If you are not strong, who will make you weak? 3. Look at a complicated life with a complicated mood and take a complicated road. 4. Live a carefree life with indifference. Occasionally recalling the past makes me feel that my life is going backwards. 6. Expectation, waiting, failure, life is so tangled. 7. It's not that we are not suitable, but that you are more suitable.

There are five eggs in the refrigerator. The first said to the second: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao ~ ~ It's terrible ~! The second said to the third: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao ~ ~ It's terrible, it's terrible ~! The third said to the fourth: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao ... The fifth egg heard it: get out ~! Lao zi is kiwi fruit ~! ! !

Thirteen, there will always be such a person, maybe he is very good, he is very good-looking; Or maybe he has nothing and looks ugly, but we just love him; We will only pay for him and wait for him, because he doesn't even know himself. When we are ignorant, there will always be such a person, let us be mean to him for many years. Finally, I suddenly woke up and looked back: this person is nothing more than that, but our "stubbornness" loves him.

Fourteen, people's troubles are 12 words, which can't be put down, opened, seen through and forgotten.

Fifteen, if you have 6.5438+0 million, buy a suite and collect our love; You have 65438+ million, buy a car to open our love; You have 1 10,000, buy a diamond ring and witness our love; You have 0. 1 10,000, go for an outing and let our love fly; You have 0.0 1 10,000, candlelight dinner, romantic our love; You have 0.00 1 10,000, buy a bottle of water and water our love.

16. Why do boys wear long pants to the streets as hooligans and girls wear long pants to the streets as * * * Why do boys wear boxer shorts to the streets as perverts and girls wear boxer shorts as hot pants? Why do boys wear vests, their superiors are arms, and girls wear vest straps? Why? Why!

Three things in life: learn to close the door, learn to calculate, and learn to give up. Say three words: forget it! It doesn't matter! It will pass! Learn three kinds of happiness: helping others, being contented and enjoying yourself. Learn three noes: don't punish yourself with other people's mistakes, don't punish others with your own mistakes, and don't punish yourself with your own mistakes. There are three hates in life: one hates begonia without fragrance, the other hates shad with thorns, and the third hates a dream of red mansions.

Eighteen, cloudy, not necessarily rainy. Breaking up is not necessarily the saddest thing. Hatred may not last a lifetime. Disappointment is not necessarily despair. Facing is not necessarily the most sad. Loneliness is not necessarily unhappy. Yes, it doesn't have to be together. Silence is not necessarily indifference. Lose, not necessarily no longer have. Failure does not necessarily give up. Miracles don't always happen. As long as this second is not desperate, there is hope for the next second!

This city is big enough to accommodate all your quirks and habits. People are busy with their own lives and regard indifference as respect for privacy. It's okay, okay? That's good. It's okay. Everyone says so, and so do you. You don't care much about those who come to you to complain, pour out the bitter water and leave you to move on, because you just pretend to listen. The world is so big, but we are still so lonely!

Twenty, seven things that must be done with girlfriends ① Make your boyfriend public and be the best partner for shopping; Beauty and fitness work together for beauty; 3 the other person's emotional trash can; Listen to each other's nagging; 4 go to the physical examination together; We should all be healthy; ⑤ Watch the performance together; Let's scream together. 6. Enjoy * * *; ⑦ Sing ktv together, we have an appointment. Children's shoes, have you done these things?

Twenty-one, women, don't be too beautiful, too beautiful will be called a vase; Women, don't be too smart, too smart will be called invisible killer; Women, don't be too sexy, too sexy will be called ostentation; Women, don't be too gentle, too gentle will be scolded for having no opinion; Women, don't be too strong, too strong will call men and women; Women can't be too cute. If they are too cute, they will be called naive and ignorant. It's hard to be a woman!

Twenty-two, the reporter interviewed an old lady! The reporter asked: "What do you think of setting off firecrackers casually in the city?" Grandma: "What else can you see? Is to climb the window to see ... "

23. One-line program 1. Kind people always say I'm simple, but I know they're just embarrassed to say I'm an SB. When you are young, if you love, don't say forever, say cherish. 3.TT, I always knew it was a browser, but later I knew it was the name of another thing. 4. The quality of military quilts is good, and there is no signal when the mobile phone is hidden in the quilt!

Twenty-four, the immature performance of girls: 1, regard love as the most important thing in life; 2, rely on clothes to express their temperament; 3. Easily change yourself blindly for men; 4. Tell everyone about your emotional experience; 5. Keep asking your boyfriend "Do you love me"; 6. Meet with netizens easily; 7. Use the reason of pregnancy to retain feelings; 8. Always fantasize about marrying a rich man; 9. Always refuse to admit mistakes; 10, lovelorn as the horizon.

Twenty-five, each of us is like a clown, playing with five balls, which are your work, health, family, friends and soul. Only one of these five balls is made of rubber, which will rebound when it falls, and that is work. The other four balls are all made of glass. If they fall to the ground, they will break. This passage is worth pondering.

A wise man can see through, so there is no dispute. Open-minded people want to get through it, so they don't fight. He who gets the word knows God's will, so he is in no hurry. (4) Sages are humble, so they are not noisy. (5) Reasonable people can let go, so they are not stupid. Confident people are willing to work hard, so they won't miss it. 7. People who value righteousness make friends all over the world, so they are not lonely. Today, people with deep feelings are indifferent to fame and fortune, so they are not lonely. Pet-name ruby quiet pedestrians far-reaching, so don't fold. Attending contented people are always happy, so they are not old.

Twenty-seven, 1. Because money is regarded as dirt, flowers are always inserted in cow dung. 2. Men want to lock the zipper of women's wallets, and women want to lock the zipper of men's pants. 3. A woman's belly is made by a man, and a man's belly is made by a man. The former is due to fertilization, and the latter is due to alcohol. The purpose of installing a mirror in the bathroom is to let people pee and look in the mirror. The effect of shedding tears on the wound is the same as that of sprinkling salt on the wound.

zhl20 1609