Love funny quotes

1. My family raises a sow and a group of pig babies. If you are willing to live in my house, I will sell the sow and live with you wholeheartedly.

2. Who said that good flowers are planted in cow dung? Tell me, I will send my brothers to chop him down. Don’t be afraid. I will protect you after you marry me. What kid doesn’t want to mess around? How dare you call my wife a cow dung.

3. I love you! If you love me, then accept these three words. If you don’t love me, please return these three words to me!

4 , If you don’t send text messages? Harass me, I will block you financially, isolate you politically, torture you mentally, destroy you physically, and abandon you in life. But I thought about it again and again, but I still can’t let you go. !

5. Sister, I love you just like a mouse loves rice. I miss you every time I hear it. I fall in love with you at first sight. I chase you without saying a word. I come to you again and again. I'm going to catch you.

6. Rabbits don’t eat grass beside their nests. Old cows like to eat young grass. Good horses don’t eat grass that turns back. There is no grass anywhere in the world. Once you get married, it turns into grass.

7. Female: I like big dolls! I like French perfume! Diamonds represent eternity! Male: Wait a minute, baby! Do you like cheap things? Female: Yes! I like you the most

8. If the world is short-sighted, I would like to stand on a high place, hold your hand and tell you how I feel; if the world’s ears are blocked, I would like to become The wind blows past your ears and says personally: I love you!

9. Once upon a time, you were an old pine tree, and your tears were crystal clear, with the fragrance of rosin, falling down. In my case, you actually don’t know that I deliberately let your tears surround me, so that I can smell your breath all my life.

10. If I were a teardrop in your eye, I would fall down your cheek and disappear between your lips. If you were a teardrop in my eye, I would not cry, Because I'm afraid of losing you!

11. It would be better to make money, preferably more than me, and it would be easier if you don't need me to support you.

12. I will never forget your incomparable shyness, the gentleness with which you lower your head, your passionate eyes, and your inexplicable sadness at separation. Although you failed to stay by my side, my thoughts have never given up. Love is engraved in my heart forever.

13. If a drop of water falls from the sky, it is the tears I shed because I miss you. If two drops of water fall from the sky, it means that I love you and my heart breaks. If countless drops of water fall from the sky, what do you think? It’s raining!

14. Flowers bloom on the inside and red on the outside, but there is no way to pick flowers. If you want to pass the road, the flowers must wither, and all the joy will be in vain.

15. Sincerely accept your wife’s emotional dictatorship and do not talk to strangers, especially strange women. Except, of course, the old lady asking for directions.

16. I love you all my life. This is true. Please believe me. You are the only one for me. Life cannot be done without you. Only I understand your heart best and your eyes are the tenderest. To understand what I mean, please read the first word of each sentence!

17. You, my dear, stole my love and my heart. I decided to take you to court. What crime should you be sentenced to? What? The judge went through all the criminal records and cases, and finally the jury unanimously agreed: sentence you to be mine for life.

18. Missing you feels like: no salt in cooking; apples not too sweet; drinking without cigarettes; forgetting to bring money while shopping; I will miss you when I have time, and I will take the time when I have no time. I miss you, but I really can’t spare the time, so I don’t do anything, I just miss you!

19. I’m tired of the vagueness of each other’s vows and the hollowness of sweet words. There is no need for a solemn promise. In this life, I only want to With you, I will grow old slowly. Even when I am old and can’t go anywhere, you are still the treasure in my hand!

20. Baby, baby, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice, you are the wind in the sky, the phoenix flies, I am The jackals on the ground chase and chase you, I won’t beat you or scold you, I will torture you with my emotions.

21. A faint smile is the signal of love, the bustle is the need for danger, the mask of protection is the fragile medicine, the strong support is the embrace you give me, my dear. You are always the most effective!

22. I make a wish to God: May you be happy forever. God said no, only four days. I said spring, summer, autumn and winter. God was stunned: two days.

I laugh: day and night; I am shocked: one day! I laugh: every day in life!

23. The most beautiful thing in life is the process, the most difficult thing is acquaintance, and the most desired result is the result! The most painful thing The most important thing is waiting! The happiest thing is true love, the most fearful thing is ruthlessness, the most regretful thing is missing out, and what I want most is to be with you.

24. There was once a girl who was willing to jump off a building for me. When she knew that I liked her, she said to me upstairs: "Don't come here! If you get close to me, jump off from here." !?

　25. Marriage is a consolidated statement, lovers are accounts payable, children are other payables, life is a going concern, quarrels are bad debt provisions, fights are business losses, and tears are a write-down of owner’s equity. .

26. Insist on your wife’s absolute leadership. At home, my wife always comes first, my children come second, my puppy comes third, and I come fourth.

27. Look into my eyes and you will see how much you mean to me.

28. The vows are made forever in the meteor shower, the mountain flowers are overflowing with beauty, holding hands with each other on the Rainbow Bridge, love stays deep in the heart, the hazy night interprets tenderness, and the pounding heartbeat is the departure of the heart. I only love you in this life and want nothing more!

29. When I love you, you are a beauty; when I hate you, you are a zombie!

30. For the first time, I When I went to see you, your mother hit me with a bang and a pot lid! The second time, when I went to see you, your dad hit me with a hit and a cigarette bag! Oh my sweetheart!

31. Judge:? You are about to be shot. What is your last wish? Prisoner:? Put on a bulletproof vest!?

32. The only knife skill that a woman should practice is the knife skill for chopping vegetables. For women, this knife technique is more effective than any other knife technique.

33. Sometimes, love is also a kind of hurt. Cruel people choose to hurt others, and kind people choose to hurt themselves

34. What love is about is feeling. It’s all nonsense

35. You are handsome, you are handsome , you are the most handsome in the world, with a cabbage on your head, a sack on your body, and a kelp around your waist. You think you are the Invincible of the East, but in fact you are the second generation of the declining gods.

36. Lilac petals are the harp of spring, playing the music of the heart on the green leaves of memory.

37. If you blink your eyes, I will die. If you blink again, I will come to life. If your eyes keep blinking, I will live and die! Please have a convulsion. Go and have a look

38. When you are in love, be like a grandson, obedient; after getting engaged, be like a son, learn to talk back; after getting married, be like me, giving orders!

39. I don't think about anything else but stay up late waiting for your call.

40. If you are willing to wait for me to grow up, I will be with you for decades.

41. Giving me smoke but not fire is tantamount to teasing me.

42. Some people will always be engraved in their memory. Even if they forget his voice, his smile, and his face, the feeling every time I think of him is That will never change.

43. Those who said they would never be separated have long been scattered at the end of the world.

44. Love should be committed to each other. Only dedicated and loyal love is true love.

45. People are not cute because they are beautiful, but they are beautiful because they are cute!

46. I am a passerby that you turn around and forget about. Why should I accompany you to the end of the world? ?

47. The red beans don’t grow in the South, but on my face. I really miss you!

48. I am a passerby that you turn around and forget about. Why should I waste my time with you? End of the World?

49. Boy, you are my sister, come with me to hang up a sign today!

50. Dear, help me register it in the household registration book Just sign and put it in the spouse column