Diary of Douban: The Story of Me and Women's Chest

This article comes from Douban users: sour persimmons.

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△ Women's breasts are a mystery to men. I hope this article can uncover the corner of the mystery.

One)

The first time I saw a woman's breasts,

It's all because of my dad's dereliction of duty.

All along, I have no position on the issue of female breasts. I like big ones, which gives me a solid sense of security. I like small ones, too. They turned the extra breasts into a careless character. It's neither too big nor too small. I still like it. I can see enough femininity in them.

This has greatly broadened the scope of my mate selection, and even downloading love action movies is diversified. So I am very grateful to God for giving me the free will to appreciate all kinds of breasts. Everything happens for a reason. I guess this will comes from an enlightenment when I was fourteen years old.

Fourteen years old is a beautiful age for boys. At that time, our brains were not full of sperm, and most brain cells were busy solving problems such as game clearance, who should start the football match, and how to cheat more pocket money from parents. However, a small part of consciousness has been awakened in the body. They can't describe what they want, and they have no idea what this thing should look like.

There are two main things in my memory that summer. Cicada on the big pagoda tree in school, and the light blue bra of the English teacher.

She just graduated from normal university and was assigned to a third-rate middle school to teach English. Because of her thin face, only she can hear the voice of her lecture. Compared with her, the cicada singing outside the window is obviously more emboldened, completely crushing her English class from the momentum. In class, while listening to them shouting at the top of my lungs, I tried to distinguish which of these voices were male and which were female. Sometimes this game can be played all day.

She knows that her voice is not good, so she often writes on the blackboard. The best time is the third class in the morning, when the sun has faded from its reluctance to get up early and become excited. Sun is obviously a malicious person. He made the teacher's shirt bright on purpose.

That light blue bra is what she often wears in summer. From the back, she is not much older than the third-year students, but the style of underwear shows that she is an adult who has seen the world. I have told my classmates more than once that she is my favorite teacher. Mainly because of the high quality of teaching, patience with students and so on. That I often miss her and her bra after class.

How do I untie it I have deduced all the possibilities in my mind, but I still can't find a reliable solution to the bra. Once I dreamed that I succeeded, and she was right in front of me, a distance I could feel with one breath. I untied her bra, and there seemed to be two fogs in it. I reached for it but there was nothing. I was flustered.

Later, because of my father's dereliction of duty, I left this embarrassment forever at the age of fourteen.

That summer vacation, I went to another city to see my father. He won't continue to burn incense genetically, so he doesn't think children are an object that needs careful care. The advantage of this is that I don't have to be good in front of him. Whatever I do, he feels normal.

He has just moved, and his room is still in a state of chaos. I don't have all the daily necessities. It seems that I will try to take care of myself in the next few weeks, and I'd better not die.

"You live in this room, the sheets are covered in the cupboard, and you make them yourself."

"Oh, is there a mat?"

"No, turn on the air conditioner when you are hot."

"Where is the air conditioner remote control?"

"ah? I'll look for it. "

When we were chatting, I noticed a calendar on the wall. Seen from a distance, most of the colors in the painting are flesh-colored. As early as 90' s, the great beauty calendar was a must-have item for urban youth. It seems that my father thinks he is still a young man. So he decided not only to hang beautiful women at home, but also to be blond and naked. In addition, you have to admire his courage to let his 14-year-old son live with the giant Playboy poster, which is big enough.

My mind was on this calendar that day. What he told me and what we ate at night didn't bother me at all. When I go to bed at night, although I can't tell why I want to avoid people, my instinct still makes me lock the door from the inside.

The calendar was a little high, so I moved a stool and stood on it. This is the first time I have seen a woman's true face. In the picture, the girl holds her left hand on the table, her right hand holds up her right chest, and her right foot is wittily tilted. I subconsciously put my hand on her chest, but immediately realized my rudeness and pulled my hand back. To tell the truth, if I just look at her breasts, I don't feel anything special, but a woman's whole body and face seem to jump into my head, and all my desires are concentrated on the little black spot in the middle of her chest.

In retrospect, it should be playboy's miss America series. What impressed me most was Miss Florida, who had a pair of simple eyes and a unique flamboyance of Latin people. The sexiest thing is that the bikini around her chest is sunburned. This gives me a lot of beautiful fantasies. Maybe one day I will meet this girl on the beach in Miami, and I may tell her how I was fascinated by her. I might even untie her bikini with my hands and kiss her sexy sunburn.

That summer vacation, I would look through this calendar every night. Twelve months a year, let me see twelve different shapes of breasts. This breast is like a door to me. Although I know that there is something called sex hidden behind the door, I don't know what it looks like, but I know that pushing this door open is not far from the truth.

2)

In a place far from civilization,

I was scared to pee by a woman's breasts.

I once lived in a small island country in the South Pacific for several years. As a citizen of a vast country, it is hard for you to understand what it would be like if your country were just a point on the map.

People familiar with geographical determinism should be able to imagine what this country looks like. They are at the westernmost end of the earth, far from the main stage of mankind. So they missed the imperial feudalism, the industrial revolution, the literary trend of thought, and all other major events that normal countries should experience. 100 years ago, when the first foreigner came to this land, people here not only didn't know the concept of the country, but regarded Pastor Bai as a monkey, boiled it in a pot, sprinkled some salt and ate it directly.

Although today, like you, they drink Coca-Cola and occasionally receive an email on gmail, if you think about it, you will find that the creator is really an asshole. We China people are thousands of years away from primitive civilization and only a few hundred years away from our cannibal ancestors, but today we all use Apple phones. The world is really flat.

Living in such a country is naturally an adventure. First of all, the folk customs are tough, oh no, it should be called simple folk customs. I used to go to the seaside to pick up crabs at night (China people are so greedy everywhere), and I bumped into local people making love behind big rocks. I think they should have found me, but at first glance, I am a yellow man and pose no threat, so I didn't pay much attention to me.

What it's like to have sex on a rock. I envy their harmonious relationship with nature. Looking back on the young people in our country, if they want to fight on the battlefield, they have to drive a long way to find a dark grove. When they went, they found that all the good places were occupied by others, leaving you as the emperor under the street lamp. Look at other people, having sex with their beloved woman in the waves and moonlight, which is much better than a sex hotel.

Although I want to be wild once in my heart, we Chinese genes just can't be wild. I think in their eyes, I should only be a neutral person. Because of my work, the locals are not bad to me. Say it's work, in fact, it's to repair their computers on fishing boats and occasionally go out to sea to help. We China men, among other things, can repair computers. People who can't install the system can't find a girlfriend in our country. Fortunately, I brought a domestic pirated windows xp, which benefited a lot.

All the people who come from afar are tourists. As one of the few Asians on the island, I am sometimes invited to attend various ceremonies of their tribe. I can only guess their indigenous English, so I didn't know what the ceremony was about before I went. In my opinion, their lives are too comfortable, and they can't think of any complicated monsters by scratching their heads. The ceremony is also relatively simple, which is far from our dancing gods.

It sounds like laughing at life now, but the day I first attended the tribal ceremony, I was really scared out of my wits.

As a guest, I was arranged in the back of the first row. Drinking is a way for all mankind to express friendship, but their wine is by no means as simple as height. Later, I learned that this drink is called kava, which is extracted from the root of a tropical plant. Because of its strong anesthetic effect, it is banned in many western countries.

The most handsome person in the tribe should be the bearer. He took a porcelain bowl, filled it with Kava wine, took a sip of it himself and brought it to me. I don't think this is for me to gargle, so just hold your nose and drink. My Asian small gas field is like a small flame in the wind and rain, which is about to go out. After this bowl goes down, I'm basically paralyzed. I squinted at the next ceremony:

There is a wild boar opposite, and a group of people go up to subdue it. Another wild boar came across the street, and a group of people went up to subdue it. Their ceremonies are probably the same routine, and several big brothers in the middle fill me in. The rule of "I'll do it, suit yourself" doesn't work there. Everyone drinks in the same bowl, and people are very heroic. I can't say anything. So just in the middle of the ceremony, I have basically finished anesthesia and can advance the state of the operating room.

Next, it's time for women to perform. The woman in my mind should be Maggie Cheung in cheongsam in In the Mood for Love. No matter what indigenous girls wear, they win by their size. Imagine dragging Maggie Cheung up and down, the height is longer; Pull her left and right again, she will be much stronger; The chest is pulled at an angle of 30 degrees below the syncline, becoming larger and vertical; Finally, push her ass at a 60-degree angle above the diagonal, which looks like a bench from the back. This is probably the figure of an indigenous girl.

Most importantly, they are naked. Probably the effect of anesthesia, I feel a dozen meat balls bumping around in front of my eyes. It is impolite to stare, and it is even more impolite not to look. Their own people don't think this is anything at all, but I think the sky is falling. These meatballs are not only unsightly, but also disgust me. Every punch hit me in the face. It must be embarrassing to pat the chest.

Hey, start dancing. God, is there anything more embarrassing than dancing? Our Han people's genes are not only wild, but also famous for their lack of music and uncoordinated limbs. My big head was drugged and joined the indigenous girls at their kind invitation. This may be the second embarrassing moment in my life besides the adventure in Amsterdam. Breast on the left, breast on the right. When I looked at it, I couldn't find a place without breasts. A man who is scared by his chest is likely to lift his head all his life.

This incident really made me think about women's breasts afterwards. Those extreme feminists who bare their breasts under the slogan of liberating women wonder what kind of existence breasts will become in men's consciousness if the world really meets their wishes one day.

(3)

I wiped her body with a wet towel,

These breasts want her dead.

My mother is a charming China woman with a flat chest. I haven't seen her breasts since weaning. Even if I have seen it, it is selectively forgotten because of some psychological self-protection mechanisms.

I heard that the day when she was diagnosed with breast cancer was no different from other days. After work, I opened the refrigerator, washed the dishes and cooked a simple dinner. Sitting on the sofa and turning on the TV as usual, although I don't know what I'm watching, I still think it's time to watch TV at night. I don't know what else to do except watch TV. I called her before going to bed. On the phone, I tried to show that it was no big deal. I should take medicine and have an operation, just as farting. In a few words, it seems that this matter will be solved. She was on the other end of the phone, and she was equally optimistic. She said she worked hard, which was nothing. She will have surgery tomorrow and so on.

We hung up the phone. In fact, we all know, who are you kidding?

The first step in the treatment of breast cancer is excision. So I accompanied her chest for decades, and I said no, and it was gone. She was pushed out of the operating room with a tube in her mouth and a white sheet covering her naked body. Because of general anesthesia, every muscle on her face collapsed in the pillow like a slouches, which is completely different from sleeping. If you lose the last control of your body, there is no expression at all.

I picked up her hand and tried to give her some encouragement. I feel very warm. I remember when I was a child, she taught me how to pack jiaozi. She held my hand and proudly gestured with her original bag jiaozi technique, boasting to me how beautiful the jiaozi she wrapped was. Her hands were much hotter then than they are now. At that time, it was obviously she who got flour all over her face, and she always blamed me for making a mess at home.

Pushing her back to the ward is a technical job, because she is still in a coma, and I need to carry her to bed with the nurse. I never knew people could be so heavy. In the process of transfer, the sheets on her body fell off, and the knife edge on her chest was waiting for a while in front of my eyes.

In the next few days, she will burp, fart, pee and shit. I help her burp, fart, pee and shit. The rest of the time, I will talk to her, mainly joking, talking about her and my dad when they were young, Doby, her brother and sister. But jokes are different from jokes. Some jokes will really make her laugh, which is absolutely impossible, because it will shock her. So I will only tell some jokes that she can just open her mouth and not laugh.

On the third day, she needed a bath, and I wiped her with a wet towel. The old man's body is ugly. You have a chance to smell the baby's skin, as sweet as cheese. The old man's skin is wrinkled brown, which will give off an indescribable and dying breath from the meat.

Later, when she was able to walk on the ground, I walked with her in the corridor of the ward. She said that I couldn't find a wife, which worried her. I said I thought the little nurse in their ward was nice. She can help me with the matchmaking. I don't think anyone will refuse the request of cancer patients. My mother thought I was funny, so she retorted that people make a scene in life and then pass.

The matter of marrying a daughter-in-law can be put on hold first. Let's take her home first. What is waiting for her is chemotherapy.

No sooner had I entered the room one night than my mother called. When she heard my voice, she burst into tears and said that she was dying and had a bad reaction. Now she is taken to the hospital for emergency treatment. If she doesn't succeed this time, her bank card is in the drawer and there is a fixed passbook. I will never forget it. Finally, she said that although others thought I was a bad boy, she was proud of me.

I hung up the phone, rushed downstairs, went to the stairs, my legs went soft and I rolled down. Later, I stood up against the wall and took a taxi to the hospital.

That night, she was saved. I came out of the hospital after one o'clock in the evening. I seem to have left my wallet in the taxi, and I don't have my house key with me. I walked for a while and stopped at a crossroads. I suddenly feel very tired. I want to find a place to sit and think about where I should go.

Who can tell me where I should go? My mother used to sue me, but now there is no one.

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