Humorous jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes, recommendations

1, a pupil hid in the toilet and smoked. After being discovered by the teacher, he took it to the office. The teacher asked, "Why do you smoke?" The students bowed their heads and said with a heavy heart, "The problem has not been solved, and they are very depressed!" " The teacher said, "It's painful to eat gutter oil."

In our school, teachers and students are just a toilet, and the light bulb in the toilet was broken a while ago. Going out to pee at night, I didn't see anyone in the pit, so I unbuttoned my pants to pee. Then there will be a light in our toilet! !

The teacher said, "You are noisy, so the teacher can't give a lecture. What is the behavior? "

The student said, "the upset host is from the guest."

One day, the teacher said to the students, "If you can work out this problem, I will give everyone 50 sweets."

After a while, the students stood up one by one and asked the teacher for candy.

When the teacher saw the answer, his nose was crooked and he said angrily, "You are all wrong, and you dare to ask for sugar?"

The students said in unison, "You only asked, but didn't say it was right!"

The teacher went out quietly. After a while, he came back and threw a bag of sugar on the table: "Divide it, 100 one!" "

5. The college roommate got along well with the class teacher, but the class teacher didn't agree at home, forcing her to marry someone else. The day before the wedding, her roommate asked her out. That night, there were tears, sweat and that kind of water. All the water has flowed away! What a good teacher! He teaches his students everything!

6. The teacher asked a student: Did you copy someone else's test paper?

Yes, I copied some, but not all. The students answered.

So, what places are not copied?

Well, I copied my name.

7. Teacher: "Why are you lazy? Other students move seven or eight bricks at a time, and you only move four? " Student: "No, they are lazy." Teacher: "Why?" Student: "Because they dare not walk more."

8. Once in a physics class, the teacher told us: "Two birds are standing on the line of fire and the other on the zero line, kissing! Why are they all dead? "

Student A: "Teacher, this is telling us that anyone who shows love will die."

Teacher: "That's half right. I want to tell you that the bird's mouth conducts electricity. "

Student B: "Oh, it was French kissing, damn it!" "

9. Teacher: Who can say a very unexpected thing in the simplest language?

Student: Teacher, my dog was ill yesterday. My father invited a vet, and then the vet came. It turns out that veterinarians are human.

10, primary school students go to physical education class in the afternoon, and the PE teachers line up and sneeze when they call attention and be at ease.

I suddenly shouted, "Who is scolding me?"

As a result, a child came out in shock and said, "I'm sorry, teacher."

Poor child, you are so cute.

1 1, the teacher asked the students: "If one day. A robber stabbed me. What would you do? "

Xiao Ming: "I don't think he stabbed it."

The teacher said, "What if I miss?"

Xiao Ming: "Then give him a bottle of pulse and be ready for a better state at any time."

Teacher: "What if I get stabbed?"

Xiao Ming: "Then give him a performance. Can't stop ~ ~ ".

12, a teacher read the fox "Gua raccoon dog". When the students go home, they endorse their parents. The parents said, "Your teacher taught you wrong. That's a fox, not a melon. " The next day, the student said to the teacher, "Teacher, my father said it was a fox, not a melon." The teacher said loudly, "Your father doesn't know anything. Gua raccoon dog is much better than fox. "

13, a teacher asked three students, "What can you fill a room with?"

The first student found straw and spread it on the floor. The teacher shook his head.

The second student found a candle and suddenly the room was full of light, but the teacher shook his head.

Because there was no shadow of the student, the third student threw a bar of soap on the ground.

After a while, the cheerful atmosphere filled the whole room.

14, a teacher said to a class: It is said that women are made of water, but why are the girls in your class made of cement?

15 When I was a sophomore, we attended music appreciation. When we mentioned Mozart, the teacher said, "Mozart was only six years old, so he said to his father,' I'm six years old and I haven't been to England.' His voice did not fall, and some of the students sighed, "I am 20 years old and haven't been to Building 2. "Building 2 of Beijing Forestry University is a girls' building.