What are some funny stories?

The warm and interesting story of Deyun Club that you don’t know:

The scene of sealing the box and tying the opening of Atao’s coat that year was particularly ordinary and warm, home. I also saw a lot of people writing this about the feeling of an adult cleaning up a messy child.

Yue Yue and the young master are together. When they are not performing, the young master is very attached to his brother-in-law and hugs his brother-in-law. Sometimes it feels like a child acting coquettishly, and it feels like it’s normal to kiss each other since childhood

The part where Yue Yue and Taoer, the little black fat guy go through the baggage all the way through is really very heart-warming, what do you usually do when sealing a box? In fact, Yue Yue likes to stand in a place where she is out of sight, but sometimes when the camera shows what Tao'er is singing or saying, Yue Yue's eyes are really admiring

Tao'er said that in Backstage, Yue Yue doesn't like to make noise. She likes to be alone there quietly. Yes, she is alone, but Master has seen it. Master knows that Yue Yue is there

There are five sisters in Yue Yue's family. He has a heavy burden and is willing to take care of everything at home. He is very considerate of his family. Most of the money he earns is used to support the family. At that time, his mother-in-law was ill and hospitalized, and Tao'er paid for more than 100,000 yuan (many years ago). He drove a small car for five hours and cried all the way home. The doctor asked him to go to Beijing for stent surgery. The car he drove belonged to his wife. He called the master. The master said that the baby was fine. Human life is the most important thing. Come to Beijing and I will find a doctor. When I came to Beijing, Tao'er arranged for Manager Zhong to accompany me all the time (at this time, Yue Yue was not favored by Tao'er, so everyone can weigh the friendship by themselves)

When Sanqing Garden opened, I went to the garden to assist in the performance. After finishing the work, I followed the two masters. I still forgot the lyrics

Taoer paid for Yue Yue’s wedding, and Yue Yue paid for Xiao Ju’s wedding. The movements and demeanor of Yue Yue’s apprentice now are very different from Tao’er’s training in the past. Like, this can be regarded as a kind of inheritance, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha so long so long so so so so long One is your future daughter-in-law." My mother didn't even raise her head and said, "It's the one in the white skirt, right?" My younger brother said in surprise, "Mom, you are so amazing. How could you tell?" My mother said calmly, "Because I am the most annoyed among those people. That's her"

2. I secretly liked a boy in the class and wanted to create an opportunity to be alone, so I secretly deflated his bicycle. When he came to pick up the bicycle, I said: "Your tire is not I'm angry. "I'll give you a ride." Boy: "I just saw you puncturing my tire upstairs.

3. My mother never knows how to cook. Suddenly there were so many beautiful mushrooms in my garden at home. Yes, she made soup. Later, I had vomiting and diarrhea and was taken to the hospital. When he saw the doctor, he said, "Doctor, I can't stand it anymore. Please save me first and leave my daughter alone." In the middle of the night, Xiao Liu asked his girlfriend to go to a bar to play, and then took the opportunity to leave. In fact, he went to his girlfriend's house, dressed up as a ghost, and used blood plasma and other things. The room was shaking. Xiao Liu walked to his girlfriend's bedroom and suddenly saw a bloody figure. Xiao Liu was startled. He felt that he looked really scary in the mirror and might scare his girlfriend, so he took advantage of her. I hurriedly washed off the zombie makeup before I came back, and hurried back home.

The next day, when Xiao Liu and his girlfriend Lin Lin were having dinner together, Xiao Liu told his girlfriend about it.

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Xiao Liu: "Lin Lin, I actually wanted to scare you yesterday. "

Lin Lin: "Oh? Then why did you leave again?"

Xiao Liu: "I saw me in the mirror in your bedroom. It was scary. I was afraid. Scared you. "

Lin Lin's face changed: "What, bedroom?!!"

Xiao Liu: "Yeah, what's the matter?"

Lin Lin Pale face: "Yes, in my room. .

No mirror!

Share a wave

An unexpected ending

1. After cutting a customer’s hair just now, he looked in the mirror and saw his face. There was a hint of a smile on my face: "I'll ask my brothers to come with me tomorrow!" I was very happy and was about to thank him, but he patted me on the shoulder: "You can also call some people. Then don’t tell me that I’m too many to bully you!”

2. When I went out, an old lady suddenly fell in front of my car and insisted that I hit her.

I took out my mobile phone: Dad, transfer 1 million to me, I’m going to kill an old lady

The old lady got up after just swiping her phone

She stepped forward and slapped me in the face and said: Why don’t you ride a bicycle? What are you pretending to be?

So, I lay down calmly and my body began to twitch.

3. I saw a young couple coming to withdraw money from an ATM.

The girl inserted the card and entered the password. She pushed her boyfriend aside with a smile and asked him not to peek, and then entered the first three digits of the password.

After completing the input, the girl exited and asked the boy to enter the last three digits of the password.

The boy walked over with a smile, deleted the first three digits of the password that the girl had lost, then entered a six-digit password and took out all the money.

4. When I went home last night, I saw a beautiful woman in a wedding dress drinking alone on the roadside. She seemed to have drank a lot. There were empty wine bottles next to her. Her eyes were red. He must have just cried and looked very decadent. People passing by just looked at him and no one cared...

The world is so cold! Have people's hearts turned to stone now?

After waiting for a long time, I finally couldn’t stand it anymore, so I mustered up the courage to walk over and said to her:

“Do you want the empty bottle?”

5. When I was in elementary school, I felt that in the future I would only be able to drive luxury supercars like Lamborghini and Ferrari to be worthy of my noble status. When I was in middle school, I felt that Audi and BMW might be more suitable for me. When I was in college, I found that domestically produced cars are really good. Now that I have graduated, I suddenly discovered that walking is the best way. It is energy-saving, environmentally friendly, and good for physical exercise. Not to mention, I am going to be late for work, so let’s run~~~

6. Middle-aged people traveling to Beijing from other places Someone stopped a middle school student and asked: "Young man, is there any fun place nearby?"

After hearing this, the middle school student pointed forward and said: "Go forward, there is a "It's a nice place."

"Well...I just came to Beijing, can you take me there?"

"Okay," the middle school student enthusiastically led the middle-aged man for ten minutes.

I stopped at the entrance of an alley and said: "Look, there is an Internet cafe over there."

7. Early in the morning, a buddy asked me: "Watch the news The expert who gave out the Level 6 test paper was kidnapped by robbers. The robbers offered him 10 million to redeem him, or else he would be burned to death with gasoline. We are now collecting donations, so let’s donate some too.”

< p> I said: "Okay, how much do you guys usually donate?"

My buddy said: "It depends on the situation, some donate two liters, and some donate ten liters

8. During the final exam in high school, my best friend and I happened to be assigned to an examination room, and we were at the front and back desks. I felt like God was helping me. When I was about to hand in the paper, the paper was still blank.

I was about to give up. At that time, my best friend suddenly passed a note to me. I was so excited. God helped me. I was so nervous that I hid it for fear that the invigilator would find it. After finally making sure it was safe, I opened it tremblingly.

There are five words written on it that I will never forget in my life: What to eat for lunch? 9. In the evening, I like to run behind the beauty whenever she runs. When I stop running, I always strike up a conversation like a gentleman: “Beauty, why don’t you run away. "I can't run anymore, let's take a rest!" "Hold on." "I can't hold on anymore. I really can't run anymore." "You really can't run anymore?" "I really can't run anymore!" ”

Then, I touched her breast and ran away

10. Today, while the girl I shared a house with was taking a shower, I sneaked into her room and picked up the She started sniffing her clothes carefully. When I was sniffing seriously, she suddenly came in and asked loudly: "What are you doing?" ”

I threw away her things and forced her into the corner, a handsome wall-dong.

She said shyly: "You, what do you want?"

Then I looked into her eyes affectionately and said loudly:

"Did you steal my washing powder?"

Different levels

There was a young man selling meat and a female pianist from an orchestra. We live on the same floor and grew up playing together when we were young. The young man made money from his business and wanted to marry the female pianist. If you strike up a conversation by yourself, you won't win your heart. The young man confessed the truth after drinking, and his friend laughed and persuaded him: "You two are too far apart, you are not on the same level..." The young man said arrogantly while drinking: "Why are you not on the same level? We live on the same floor, only two houses apart, so we are not that far apart. "

Carman

A fashionable girl was eager to catch the train and called the taxi driver "Carman". As the taxi driver drove, he said: "The one who drives the horse is called the groom, the one who pulls the foreign cart is called the coachman, and we, the people's driver, have also become the coachman. Miss, may I ask you, if I serve as a soldier and fight, will I be my husband?"

Can’t make up your mind?

The recruits were practicing, and they only heard orders one after another: "Turn right! Turn left! Turn back! Walk in unison!..." During the break, a recruit said: "Why can't you make up your mind, sir? Turn around." Come and go, where do the enemies come from? ”

Good position

An applicant came to the recruitment office and asked the supervisor for a job that he did not contribute or worry about. Get a high-paying job, the supervisor nodded and agreed. The applicant happily asked: "When will I report?" The supervisor said: "It is neither Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, nor Saturday or Sunday. You can report on any day other than these days."

Funny comes from life. If you think carefully, you will find many interesting people and things. Let me tell you a few

1. In summer, I took a bus with my friends that day. The weather was already sultry and I didn’t know who farted. As the saying goes, a stinky fart doesn't make a sound, and a loud fart doesn't stink. I really can't stand it, and I don't know who the master is, so I'm helpless. At this time, the conductor was asking "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly looked at me and smiled and said, "I'm so fart that I didn't buy a ticket." Suddenly, a big fat man said, "I have already bought it." Suddenly many people looked at him, and he He lowered his head and stopped talking.

2. One day, I was in the mall with my friends. A friend went to the restroom and accidentally entered the women's restroom. When he went in, he found that there was no urinal, which felt wrong. Fortunately, there was no one there. He pretended to be calm and walked out. Just as he was about to open the door, he met a girl. The girl looked at him and hurriedly said "Sorry, sorry" and then blushed and ducked into the men's room. . .

3. Once, on the bus. A man accidentally dropped a TT while taking out change on the bus. He was embarrassed and didn't know whether to pick it up or not. A girl who looked carefree said, "Brother, your brother's work clothes fell off" and then I heard many people laughing~~

Have you encountered anything more funny?

I think back to when I was a primary school student, and martial arts was very popular at that time.

I remember it was winter that day. If I remember correctly, it was still Friday. Of course, after class, my friends and I would not go home directly. We had to have a good time to be worthy of a week of hard study.

Since we didn’t have much to play in childhood, we had to jump rope, which is an activity suitable for all ages.

I don’t know what happened that day, but I suddenly felt an internal force coming out of my Dantian, pushing an unknown object to spurt out from the middle and rear of my body.

My reason told me that I should go to the toilet. However, my sensibility told me that I had to continue playing and could not let down my friends’ high spirits. I could bear it! The figures of Ouyang Feng, Xuan Ming and Yue Buqun and many other heroes kept reappearing before my eyes.

Just like that, I suppressed the internal chaos. I kept skipping rope, but things seemed to be beyond my expectation...

I just heard puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff. I can't hold it anymore. Please note that I am not having diarrhea, but just long yellow strips. Now that the matter is over, I don't think about it so much anymore. Anyway, it has been resolved, my stomach feels better, and I am having more fun.

After playing, I thought it was time to go home and deal with my "internal injuries", but... things went beyond my expectation...

I am still a child, This day made me realize that life is not easy, and it made me bear the pressure that I should not have at this age...

1. On a quiet night for a month, a straw boat on the riverside glowed with light. In the candlelight, I saw Zhuge Kongming and Zijing drinking wine elegantly and talking about the trick of borrowing arrows from a straw boat. Suddenly Zijing asked: "Mr. Kongming, can I really borrow arrows like this?"

Zhuge Kongming: "Believe me."

Zijing: "But I still have some Worry..."

Zhuge Kongming: "That's not necessary."

Zijing: "But, don't you think it's getting hotter in the boat?"

Zhuge Kongming: "You are right when you say that... Is there anything wrong?"

Zijing: "I'm worried that the enemy is shooting rockets..."

Zhuge Kongming: Hey! Zijing~Can you swim~

Zijing: "I can't."

Zhuge Kongming: "Neither can I..."

2 .A long time ago, there was a king in the West, and this king had two very beautiful daughters. Later one year, the king wanted to marry off his eldest daughter, so he invited many, many princes, all of whom were very handsome, among whom the most beautiful The ugly one is called Prince of Persia. I saw the king taking the princes from all over the world to a small river, where there was an elephant. The king said: "Whoever of you can make the elephant cover its buttocks and jump into the river by itself, I will marry my eldest daughter to him." After hearing this, the Prince of Persia immediately stepped forward and inserted a long needle into the elephant's buttocks. After being stabbed with a needle, the elephant screamed and jumped into the river with its buttocks covered. The king had no choice but to marry his eldest daughter to him.

The next year, the king wanted to marry off his second daughter again. He invited the princes again and followed the original method and went to the river with everyone and said: "Who can let the elephant first?" Nod, then shake your head, and finally nod and jump into the river." The Persian prince who married the king's eldest daughter walked up to the elephant and asked, "Do you remember me?" The elephant nodded. . "Then do you still want to be pricked with a needle by me like last time?" The elephant shook his head. "Then you know what to do, right?" The elephant nodded, turned around and jumped into the river. The king looked reluctant! But he was the king of a country, so what he said could not be trivial. In the end, he had no choice but to marry his second daughter to the Prince of Persia.

One: Two couples went out to swim on the lake, sitting on a small boat and looking at the scenery along the coast. Suddenly, a boy picked up the iPhone 7 in his hand and said that he heard that this phone is waterproof. Then he put it in the water to wash it. He took it out and took a look. The screen was stained. He didn’t give up and put it in the water again! When I finally took it out, there was no time left! laugh! Make me laugh! ! !

Two: One day, my roommates and I wanted to make a funny video about playing games! Imitation of New Journey to the West. After careful preparation for a long time, I found the perfect angle on the bed! The last student who took the photo took two perfect photos for us, one at the beginning and one at the end.

Three: My roommate and her boyfriend went to Hangzhou to play. Because they took the subway on the way, the roommate felt a little dizzy and felt like vomiting. While walking in the middle of the road, she expressed this idea to her boyfriend, so her boyfriend vigorously I threw her to the side of the road (actually I didn't want her to vomit in the middle of the road, so I went to the side of the road to vomit, but it was too hard!), so my roommate sprayed the vomit gorgeously into the bushes, That's right! It's squirting!

Four: When I was in high school, my classmate secretly brought his mobile phone. During the self-study class, he got a call. He told me: My friend in Sichuan called me. sorry! It felt really funny at the time, hahahahaha!

Five: I am most afraid of the sudden silence of the air, and I am most afraid of my roommate suddenly farting while sleeping at night!

Six: Actually, I am really a joker, but I really can’t remember it today! Farewell!

1. She asked me: Is there anyone you like in the class? I said: Yes? She pretended to be indifferent and asked, who is it? you guess. She guessed all the girls in the class, and I shook my head. He chuckled and touched her head: "Fool, are you sure you've finished guessing?" After hearing this, she was stunned for a moment and turned away shyly without speaking.

I said softly in my ear: There are boys, you didn’t guess!

2. My mother felt that I had been single for too long and forced me to go on a blind date despite my objections. I was so angry that I wore her green floral cotton-padded jacket, a pair of outdated jeans, and a pair of yellow jeans. Xiaobai Shoes went to the appointment. I thought no one would like me with this look, but I didn’t want to win the unanimous favor of the man and his family. In today’s society, girls change their clothes every season, and there are not many people like me who know how to live a good life!

Teacher Wang from 3 Kindergarten discovered that the children all liked to make faces at her. So I started the class meeting and said to the children: "When I was a child, I also liked to make faces at others. Later, my grandmother told me that if you make your face like that, you will always look ugly when you grow up!" At this time, Xiao Ming said: "Teacher, you must regret not listening to grandma, right?"...