Selected funny copywriting

1. Marry a woman like me. Although it is not beautiful or beautiful, it is enough to make you lose everything.

The only thing a woman can do in her life is to lose weight. There are many benefits to losing weight. You can change clothes if you lose a little, and change husbands if you lose a lot.

Boys generally say you are ugly, which means you are ok. To say that you are beautiful means that you are really beautiful, because if you meet a really ugly person, he won't talk to you, get it!

My son has been talking for a week and a half. Today, he can finally talk. The first sentence turned out to be "call dad". Did I teach you this?

When a man really falls in love with you, you will find, alas, an extra father. When a man falls in love with you falsely, you will find an extra son who is still a rebel.

Eat areca used to quit smoking, but now he's fine. eat areca smokes, and betel nut smokes heavily.

7. Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend sitting in the back seat of a battery car, holding her current boyfriend's waist, shivering with cold. I raised my mouth, smiled smugly and got on the warm bus.

8. I'm glad to tell my dad when I get home. I saved him a lot of money. Don't spend money on textbooks this year, because you failed again!

Sorry, I like you here.

Three words are too direct for me to say. I can only ask you diplomatically, I am not coquettish.

10. I am actually an angel. The reason why I stay on the earth is because of my weight.

1 1. Meat grows on the chest and is extremely happy, but it grows on the stomach but hates it. This is the most serious geographical discrimination I have ever seen, not one of them.

12. The husband said to his daughter-in-law: "Daughter-in-law, I have a fortune teller, and the fortune teller said me.

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35 years old, there is a hurdle! "daughter-in-law:" why The grave was dug? "

13. Wife: "It is better for me to marry an evil ghost than to marry you!" The husband said, "Wife, don't be ridiculous. Don't you know that consanguineous marriage is forbidden? "

Fourteen. Straight men chat with girls. Unless you are particularly handsome, you'd better not take selfies. Generally, girls who want photos are Yan Kong, and most of the selfies of straight men are broken.

15. I have gained weight and am very happy. What makes you call me fat?

16. If life deceives you, don't worry, take out your beauty camera and cheat life.

17. After marriage, you must take off your clothes and beat your husband, because wearing clothes is called domestic violence, and taking off your clothes is called emotional appeal!

18. If you can't be amazing, it's ugly!

Nineteen. It's so cold that I can't even show my tattoo. I feel that people don't respect me so much.

20. It's easy for girls to get it when the seasons change.

Three diseases: "I feel that all the clothes I bought last year are ugly", "I feel that there is always a dress missing in the closet" and "I feel that I came naked last year"!

No.2 1 "What's your specialty?" "The boiled water I cooked is not bad."

Twenty-two No one is always smooth sailing. Actually, you're not alone. Look at the friends around you. They were confused by failure.

Twenty-three In this fickle age, the best way to remember you is to owe money and not pay it back.

Twenty-four I just made a very risky investment. If I succeed, I can make hundreds of millions at once. If I fail, my two dollars will go to Shui Piao.

25. People nearby take the initiative to add you: it's a man.

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9% are perverts and women,

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9% is WeChat business!

Twenty-six. What if the boyfriend is angry? Most of them are fake. Hit it.

27. I am really old. I can't move! Autumn clothes are stuffed into autumn trousers and autumn trousers are stuffed into socks, which is the minimum respect for winter. Now my understanding of fashion is: keep warm first!

28. Everything must come to an end, but if you invite me, I can eat more with you.

29. Opportunity is like a hair on the head of a bald man. You catch it, you can't catch it, and it's gone.

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X. ask for recommendations.

A sports car with more than 4 million yuan, which starts quickly, is comfortable enough and looks good. The more expensive, the better. I want to change the wallpaper of my mobile phone.