How can I have confidence in myself?

Specific ways to build self-confidence

(1) Choose the seat in front to sit

Have you noticed that no matter in teaching or in various gatherings in the classroom, How come the seats in the back row are filled first? Most people occupying the back seats hope that they will not be "too conspicuous". And the reason they are afraid of being noticed is because they lack confidence.

Sitting in the front builds confidence. Try it as a rule and sit as far forward as possible from now on. Of course, sitting in the front will be more conspicuous, but remember, everything about success is conspicuous.

(2) Practice looking at others squarely

A person’s eyes can reveal a lot of information about him. When someone doesn't look at you, you will intuitively ask yourself: "What are you trying to hide? What is he afraid of? Will he be bad for me?"

Not looking at others usually means: I feel inferior next to you; I feel inferior to you; I am afraid of you. Avoiding other people's eyes means: I feel guilty; I have done or thought of something that I don't want you to know; I am afraid that you will see through me as soon as I touch your eyes. This is all bad information.

Looking squarely at others means telling you: I am honest and aboveboard. I believe what I tell you is true and I have no guilt whatsoever.

(3) Increase your walking speed by 25

When David Schwartz was a teenager, it was great fun to go to the center of town. After finishing all the errands and getting into the car, my mother would often say, "David, let's sit for a while and look at the people passing by."

My mother was a wonderful observer. She would say, "Look at that guy, what do you think is bothering him?" or "What do you think the lady over there is going to do?" or "Look at that guy, he seems a little lost."

It's really fun to watch people walking. It's much cheaper and more enlightening than going to the movies.

Many psychologists associate slouching and slow walking with unpleasant feelings about yourself, your work, and others. But psychologists also tell us that by changing posture and speed, we can change our mental state. If you observe carefully, you will find that the movements of the body are the result of the activities of the mind. Those who have been beaten down and ostracized often drag their feet and have no self-confidence at all.

Ordinary people walk like "ordinary people" and confess "I'm not very proud of myself."

Another type of person shows extraordinary confidence and walks faster than ordinary people, like running. Their pace tells the whole world: "I'm going to an important place, doing something important, and more importantly, I'm going to succeed in 15 minutes."

Use this "walk fast" 25” technique, hold your head high and walk faster, and you will feel your confidence growing.

(4) Practice speaking in public

Napoleon Hill pointed out that there are many people with sharp ideas and high talents, but they are unable to use their strengths to participate in discussions. It’s not that they don’t want to participate, it’s just that they lack confidence.

People who are taciturn in meetings think: "My opinion may not be valuable. If I speak it out, others may feel stupid. It's better for me not to say anything. Moreover, others may be better than others." I know better, and I don't want you to know that I am so ignorant." These people often make very vague promises to themselves: "I will speak up next time," but they know very well that they cannot fulfill this promise. Every time the taciturn person does not speak, he is poisoned by a lack of confidence, and he loses it more and more. From a positive perspective, if you try to speak up, you will gain confidence and make it easier to speak up next time. Therefore, speak more. This is the "vitamin" of confidence.

No matter what kind of meeting you are attending, you must take the initiative to speak every time, whether it is a comment, a suggestion or a question, without exception. And, don’t speak last. To be an icebreaker, be the first to break the silence. Don't worry about looking stupid, either. No. Because there will always be someone who agrees with you.

I have never met anyone who said: "I will quit smoking from tomorrow!" and quit smoking. I have never met anyone who quit drinking by saying, “That’s it for tonight’s drinking!” The following is a short story from a photographer. Once, the photographer attended a party. On the way to the reception, the photographer said: "I quit drinking" and asked him: "When did you start?" He replied: "I just decided to quit." He quit smoking and drinking. Most people will answer: "After this cocktail party" or "This cocktail party will be the last one." "Forever" is also accumulated hour by hour, because if you take away one hour, there will be no forever. Try making two cards, one that says "Go ahead!" and the other that says "Do it later." Keep these two cards with you and when you feel less confident, pull out one of them. At this time, the one that says "Go ahead!" should be drawn. We can first write "Be confident" on the back. Always pull out this card when you don't know whether to do something. Because today is related to the next day, if you don’t do what you can do today, it will become more difficult to do it tomorrow.