What humorous language is used after work?

After work, I am used to ordering myself two and a half Jin of white wine and drinking beer casually. More than 30 people were dealt with in one night, 15 people were injured, 16 people were drunk, and 4 people were missing. Let countless people be afraid! Whether it's killing 53 degrees or snowflakes bravely crossing the world, do it when you are full! But now why should I quit the Jianghu and live in seclusion in the mountains? Two bottles fell down and three bottles broke? What makes me change so much! ? Is it hatred? Or love? Pick up my mobile phone, edit the short message "I want to invite you to dinner" and send it to my mobile phone, have face-to-face communication with the former Dionysus, listen to the story behind me, feel my former glory, uncover the sadness behind me ... Today I am free. ...

Is this the embodiment of Xiaoqing? In humorous language, bungee jumping is very * * *, so I will go bungee jumping with my girlfriend today. I didn't expect my girlfriend to go to the high platform and regret not wanting to jump. I was angry: "I have spent all my money. How can I not jump?" Then I pushed her down, and then I looked at the rope in the hand of the instructor next to me and asked, "What is this for?" ?

I want to listen to music with headphones today, but I find there is no sound on the left. After inspection, it was found to be a false alarm. It turned out that I was deaf in my left ear and thought that my earphone was broken, which scared me.

I remember it was a cold winter.

I don't want to get up for school in the morning, and then ask my dormitory classmates for help. Give me a reason.

As a result, the news of my heatstroke spread all over the school the next day!

Travel with your best friends and rest under the tree when you are tired. Suddenly, a few drops of bird droppings fell on my face, and before I knew it, my best friend wiped it evenly for me, saying, your sunscreen hasn't been wiped evenly yet. ......

I remember that year when I went to the toilet in the third year of high school, the buddy standing next to me stood by the side for a long time and didn't take out his tools. His expression is getting more and more ferocious. He said, fortunately, the autumn trousers were put on backwards, but he thought they were gone.

Confessing to the male god, the male god only replied "Why double plum" and went offline. I stared at this sentence and couldn't understand it until my roommate next to me read it again: "I love my sister."

I've always heard people say that it's too cool to open a room, and finally one day I couldn't help it.

... that's really cool ...

Sleeping alone in such a big bed!

The first time I met my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law praised me for my clean sunshine, and my second-rate girlfriend said loudly, "Well, he was well dressed before he came, saying that he would blind your dog's eyes ..."

The eight-month-old daughter expresses her love in humorous language. Today, she went shopping with her best friend and passed by the park. When her best friend heard the music, she stopped to look into the garden.

Me: "Why don't you go?"

The second-best friend said, "I feel so scared at the thought that we will get old!" " "

I comforted what she was afraid of. People will get old and die!

She: "No, those square dances look so difficult!" We can learn later! "

Okay, okay, you win.

What language should I use to express my love for my husband's birthday? Humorous husband, you have lived in my heart for n years.

How to express one thing in humorous language? Aunt, look, my mother asked me to send it. "The little boy magically pulled out his hand from behind and held high two thick candles.

Facing the child's clear eyes, the hostess was shocked.

Then he leaned feebly against the door, covered his face with his hand and dared not look at the children. ...

It's embarrassing for someone with witty and humorous language to answer, no matter who put it there. Don't struggle at this time, divert everyone's attention from fart. It's no use. Just saying "fuck" to that person can ease the anger inside. Hope to adopt

How to improve the art of language expression? Humor? It is good to read more books, such as some famous books, aphorisms, philosophical thoughts and practical excerpts. I often collect some good sentences on the internet, then write them down, learn to use them when writing, watch some jokes, write them down and tell them to others. These are all exercisable. Believe me, my previous article teacher always said it was plain and simple, but now it's much better to practice slowly.

What language is used to express burns? C/C++，C#，JAVA？ Choose at will!

If you want to go to his office, it is extremely important to use humorous language to improve your language expression ability and enhance your expression effect. You should pay attention to the following aspects: 1. Read more books and avoid shallowness and ignorance. Even a great speaker should rely on the inspiration of reading ... that's all, don't exaggerate. Plain language is the expression of sincere heart and the display of beautiful feelings. So the simplicity of language comes from the other party's attitude towards foreign affairs. Words are like people, and every word is heartfelt. Usually, people are simple and sincere in the outside world, so they naturally don't beat around the bush ... stay away from lies, get rid of big talk ... don't talk empty words, stop rhetoric ... choose objects that vary from person to person. Everyone's position is different, and their understanding of the same thing is different. The measure of speech should also be based on the status, identity and words of various people.

How do men put on masks in humorous language? Woman: "Why do people take off their clothes after kissing?"

Male: "Two mouths overcome friction to do work and generate a lot of heat. By undressing, the pores of the panel can discharge heat more thoroughly. This is the instinctive reaction of human beings to heat! "