Are there any funny jokes?

There are too many, which may be repeated.

One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as they stand at the edge of the valley and shout

what they want, and then jump into the valley, they will get what they want. So the three of them decided to have a try.

The first one was a goat, so he shouted "Woman! Woman! The next jump is really full of beautiful women

waiting for him.

The second one is a bookworm, shouting "Book Book Book Book! Then, jump into the valley and get

books full of pits and valleys.

The third one is an indecisive person, who can't decide his favorite after a little

. After a while, he finally made up his mind that money is the most useful, so he went to the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and scolded "s h i t!" Unexpectedly, a penguin fell into the valley with an unstable center of gravity.

Penguins and bears were bored with leisure.

There was a penguin who had nothing to do but pluck all his hair. He said, It's really cold.

Continued: There was a polar bear, who had nothing to do. He plucked his hair for fun and pulled it all out.

He said: The penguin was right.

My buddy's Sanlitun affair

There was a guy who was very handsome, trained in bodybuilding and was a muscular man. It is said that Sanlitun is made in heaven, and there are many affairs < P >. I want to take a chance and have a fling.

In the bar, I found a PPMM, which surprised me, so I stared at her from time to time. After a while, the PPMM also found him, so you looked at me, and I looked at you. At this moment, PPMM made a gesture to him and held out five fingers. This buddy found himself meeting JI, which is a pity. But it's too expensive to think about five

hundred. Although the quality is good, the money is not enough, so PPMM held out three fingers, and gave a

pause and nodded doubtfully. Forget about the rest, hehe.

The next morning, this buddy woke up to find that the Iraqi woman had gone, and suddenly found that there was 3 yuan more in the bed.

The happiest festival

Asun and appa had nothing to chat about, and time and tide wait for no man.

A Song: "Recalling my childhood, I enjoyed Children's Day the most."

appa: "Youth Day will be in ten years."

A Song: "Father's Day is in ten years."

appa: "it will be the festival for the elderly in a few decades."

A Song: "In a few decades."

A Bo: "Tomb-Sweeping Day."

Come to my house.

When the millionaire drove past a village in a luxurious extended "Lincoln" car, he saw two beggars

pulling weeds to eat, and the millionaire stopped immediately.

"why do you eat grass?"

"We really don't have money ..." A beggar replied.

"Really, get in the car and go to my house."

"I have a wife and two children at home ....." a beggar muttered.

"Call them. The rich man pointed to another beggar. "And you, call your family, too."

"My family has a large population. Besides my wife, there are five children." Said another beggar.

"It doesn't matter, call everyone and go to 1

In this way, two beggars and their families got on the bus, but it was a long bus. On the way to exercise, a beggar's wife gratefully said, "Boss, it's very kind of you to invite a poor person like us home."

The millionaire replied, "Nothing, I just came back from abroad, and my house has been left unattended. The lawn in the yard may be more than one meter high. You can eat enough

super-strong compositions for fifth-grade primary school girls

-"Thirty years later"

Xiaomei, a girl in her class, wrote: "The weather in ............ is good today. I took my children

to play in Da 'an Forest Park. We drove the Laurence bought by my husband and had a big diamond ring on our fingers. I walked in the park with my lovely child, and people admired me everywhere. Suddenly, an old lady with a foul smell, a muddy face and no home came out on the road. I took a closer look ~ ~ ~ Oh, my God! She turned out to be my fifth grade Chinese teacher! ............ "

The lovelorn man and God

A man committed suicide and went to see God.

god asked, "my child, why did you kill yourself?"

The man said, "I pursued a woman, but she said I didn't have a tall and handsome figure and appearance, so I was

rejected."

God nodded thoughtfully and said, "This is true. Visual effects are very important in love. So

, I'll give you a beautiful shell that is unparalleled in the world. Now go back and pursue your happiness. " As he spoke, God

recited a spell, and there was only a whoosh, and the man left.

A week later, the man committed suicide for the second time and came back to see God again.

God asked, "My child, why did you kill yourself again?"

The man said bitterly, "After I went back, the woman said that although I was handsome, I didn't know her at all.". I was rejected again. "

God nodded understandingly: "Of course, if you don't know a person, how can you know how to give her happiness?"? Well, I'll give you superhuman insight and intuition, and you can go back and pursue your happiness. "

As he spoke, God recited a spell, but there was a whoosh, and the man left again.

A week later, the man came back, which was the third suicide.

God was surprised and asked, "My child, why did you commit suicide again?"

The man said in great pain: After I went back, although I was handsome and knew her well, she said that she had already given her body to another man. "

God looked at the unfortunate man sympathetically and finally said," Well, since you like that

woman so much, I'll let the man die, so that the woman is yours. Go back! "

Then God recited a spell. Just in the middle of the spell, I heard "Crash! With a cry, God fell to the ground and died hard.

The man said happily, "Now I can finally go back to pursue that beautiful nun.

Zorro's death

One day, Zorro went to his mistress's house to meet her. The mistress asked Zorro, "What if my husband comes back?

Zorro said, "It's all right. If your husband comes back, I'll jump out of the window and my horse will pick me up at the next

."

The mistress said: If I hear three knocks at the door, it means my husband is back.

Zorro said: I see.

after a while, it began to rain. Suddenly there were three knocks at the door: knock, knock, knock. Say it's late, that's

fast. Zorro flew out of bed and jumped out of the window in a blink of an eye. When the mistress saw that Zorro had left, she went to open the door.

I saw a horse standing in front of the door and said to her, "Tell Zorro that it's raining outside, and I'll wait for him in the corridor."

Barbie doll

The father who forgets his daughter's birthday every year has decided to give her a birthday present that she wants most

this year!

Dad walked into a toy store and saw Barbie in the window. He asked the shop assistant

The shop assistant said, "What kind of Barbie do you want?

dad, can you introduce me?

clerk: Barbie who goes to the gym is 799 yuan, Barbie who goes to the beach is 799 yuan, Barbie who goes to the party is 799 yuan, Barbie who goes to the PUB is 799 yuan, and Barbie who is divorced is 8 yuan. Which one do you want?

Dad: Why are all other Barbie dolls 799, and divorced Barbie is 8 yuan?

clerk: "of course! Divorced Barbie will have Kenny's house, Kenny's car, Kenny's boat and Kenny's furniture ... < P > A patient came to see a psychiatrist. < P > Patient: I always thought I was a bird. < P > Doctor: Oh, that's very serious. Since when? < P > Patient: Since I was a bird.

The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted, "What's wrong with you? Can't you see it's an empty fish tank?"

Who will be eliminated from the game, the wolf, the tiger or the lion? Wolves, because: Momotaro (eliminated wolves)

What about Xiaoming? He will have an exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV at night.

Xiaoming's mother asks anxiously: Have you finished all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming readily replied, Mom, I finished reading it.

Xiao Ming's mother happily praised Xiao Ming: Good boy, then you must do well in the exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming cried and said: Mom, I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'.

The panda loves the deer deeply, but it is rejected when it expresses its love.

panda roar ~ why? What's all this for?

The deer said timidly: My mother said that all the people wearing sunglasses are bad teenagers.

The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly refused it.

The spider asked: Why? This is why!

Butterfly said: My mother said that people who hang out on the Internet all day are not good people.

The penguin in Antarctica wants to visit his good friend, the polar bear. It takes 4 years to get there from the South Pole to the North Pole. On this day, the penguin set off, and when he was halfway, he suddenly remembered that his window was not closed. At this moment, he thought, should he go back and close the window? Finally, it took him 2 years to rest assured. Finally, I arrived at the polar bear's house. "My good friend, I'm here to play with you," said the penguin happily. "Oh, dear friends, welcome to my house, but there is nothing interesting in my house. Let's go to your house to play."