What humorous jokes are there to make your girlfriend happy?

1, when I first entered school, the whole class introduced themselves. A male student stepped onto the platform: "My name is You Yongzhi, and I'm from Beijing. I love playing chess! " Then I went down. The next one is a girl. The girl shyly stepped onto the platform and introduced herself with trepidation: "I … my name is Xia Kuyaku … I like swimming …" The whole class fainted!

In the dead of night, I went to the convenience store downstairs and bought two tea eggs. I forgot one on the counter on purpose. The little girl called me: your eggs, sir! I turned and smiled: no, it's your egg. She threw her hand at me: cut the crap and get out of here. Sure enough, not everything you buy at a convenience store can sell cute. ...

3. Xiaoming: "I want to ask for leave." Teacher: "The reason." Xiaoming: "I'm going to have an operation this afternoon." Teacher: "What operation?" Xiao Ming: "The useless subsidiary tissues of the human body are removed in groups." Teacher: "Speak human words." Xiao Ming: "haircut." Teacher: "Get out!"

When I was in primary school, my sister often threw me a balloon full of water. In summer, I am always dripping with water, and I am scolded by my mother as soon as I get home. Later, I couldn't bear it anymore, so I secretly punctured every balloon and finally escaped the daily flood. The following summer, my sister was born.

One day, the cow gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. Cow scolds: What a donkey, male left and female right!