April fool's joke

1, you are ruthless, you are ruthless, you are really ruthless; People are thinner than cucumbers and have no meat; The skin is thicker than the wall, and the shells can't penetrate; The heart is smaller than the eye of a needle and never suffers; Love is thinner than paper, so you can cheat whoever you catch!

According to the survey,' 80% of homosexuals use their thumbs to check the news, and it's too late to change it!

3, ouch, hate, boys are sticking to me like flies. The roommate replied without looking up, probably because you look like shit!

Donkey, Donkey, Donkey, Xiang Tiange pulled a car with a bent neck and a cage with a mouth, ignoring the traffic lights, and the police caught it. Where is the donkey? Touch the phone.

5. Hello, this is the sound system. A friend of yours ordered a song for you, Special Love for Special You. Because the system is busy, please hum yourself!

6.ah! You are so elegant and charming. No wonder everyone says you are ... bloated!

7. Who squeaks in the street, thinking that the police ignore her, hurry to buy a flower, go home after stepping on it, sit on the bed and watch cartoons, or I will shoot you!

8. If you receive this message, which proves that your mobile phone is infected with virus, please take out your mobile phone card immediately and brush it with gasoline.

9. You left quietly, just as you came gently. I waved like a bone, alas! Finally got rid of your greedy puppy.

10, a man's motorcycle broke down on the road. At this time, an old farmer with a mule came over and pulled a motorcycle with a mule. The old farmer sighed: motorcycles also need rollers!

1 1. If you don't give me a cigarette, you are offending me. If you don't want a light for a cigarette, you might as well not give it to me. If you give cigarettes and fire, you are flattering me.

12, men are like servers. In addition to installing an operating system loyal to his wife, he has to install a lot of software to serve his wife!

13, four reasons for being in a bad mood recently: the stock is falling every day, I missed several football lottery issues, my position has not been raised for several years, and my beautiful girlfriend has run away!

14. I miss you so much and love you so much. Why did you leave me? It's all because I accidentally lost my dear wallet.

15, notice: tomorrow, the top leaders will come down to inspect the work. All colleagues please dress as required. Man: suit, tie, shorts and slippers; Lady: swimsuit, pants, shoes!

16, failing a foreign language proves that you are patriotic; Showing off all day, in fact, no wife; Grow a small belly and pretend to be Maitreya; Everywhere is chirping, like a big slug.

17, things can be done. Cows have to blow, but they don't blow. If they suffer, they blow and eat as usual.

18, God saw that you were thirsty and created water; God saw that you were hungry, so he created rice. God saw that you had no lovely friends, so he created me. At the same time, God found that there is no fool in this world and created you by the way.

19, freeze! Robbery! Hands up. Men stand on the left and women stand on the right! Stand among the perverts! I am talking about you! Look at the phone!

20. Your head is the same as bin Laden's. For security reasons, the United States has listed you as a target. Please throw your mobile phone on the ground as a cover. Don't thank me.

2 1, military training under the tree that year, the company commander said: Count off! You looked at the company commander in surprise, and the company commander said loudly, Count off! So you reluctantly went to the tree and held it.

22. Urgent reminder: There may be a tornado recently. When going out, be sure to carry two dumbbells weighing 10 kg with you to avoid being swept to the west by the storm. Those who weigh less than 50 kilograms must be doubled.

23, strange strange really strange, found that Italy voted for Chun Lv, Chun Lv's brain has a problem, don't eat, don't drink, don't rest, where is Wen Chun green, is buried in the news!

24, love is not active, the body has problems! The meeting is not active, and there is something wrong with the policy! Life is not active, there is something wrong with the wallet! Don't take the initiative to go home, there is something wrong with your style!

25. congratulations Your mobile phone has passed the upgrade test. Please put it on the chopping board and hit it with a sledgehammer three times to upgrade!

26. According to the research of Massachusetts Institute of Technology, soaking the mobile phone in water 1 minute before making a phone call can completely avoid the radiation of electromagnetic waves to the human brain. Remember!

Falling sky, I am on the other side of your home, and the scenery is very romantic. I hope to have your company. Pick up the phone when you hear it ring. Either stupid or heavy.

28. Red sweet is watermelon, talkative is cucurbitaceae, quack is frog, and reading information is a fool. Those who only look and don't talk are dumb!

29, pay attention to, look at the left first, then look at the right. Please be careful of a psycho who just slipped out. His characteristic is: looking around with a mobile phone.

30. I'll give you a gift with the heaviest feces since there was feces. You will definitely eat a catty and pack more. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself! Happy new year!

3 1, the moon hangs in the sky, the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon is sad, the cowherd and the weaver girl are in love, the old matchmaker myth, there is a fool who doesn't talk and squints at the phone.

32. It's wood that makes furniture, scholars who know poetry, people who think about money, talents who practice, women who want figure, geniuses who send messages and idiots who read text messages!

I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that your patience has won my respect. The bad news is-I will redouble my efforts to repair you!

34. I miss you every day until I cry. I dream of you every day until my heart breaks. I have never given up my pursuit of you. When can I find you? The lottery ticket is 5 million!

35, the family is poor and the family is ugly, 1.69 meters, primary school culture, rural hukou, all year round, medicine never leaves the mouth, today's text message, recruiting girlfriends, revolutionary road, hand in hand!

36. You are so handsome and cool that you can't compare with it. You always think you are Dong Fangbubai, but you are the second generation fool!

37. Affectionate is silly and heartless. The coolest infatuation is stupidity and ruthlessness. It's a bit silly to love only one, but love two at least, three five are just right, and ten eight are handsome.

38. It is absurd to pull out the seedlings and encourage them, but it is foolhardy to cover their ears and steal the bell; Borrowing an arrow from a straw boat is a clever plan, and cross the rubicon is a decisive battle; Romance is romance, giving up one's life for righteousness is dedication; If you keep looking down, you are an idiot! Happy April Fool's Day!

39. Your voice is real, your smile is deep, your appearance is beautiful and your figure is cool, but I still want to say: stop streaking and go home!

40. Falling sky, I am opposite your room, and the scenery is very romantic. I hope to have your company. When you hear the phone ring, pick it up and watch it. Either stupid or heavy.

4 1, Tang Priest assigned work at the foot of the Flame Mountain: Wukong went to explore the road, Wukong went to reach the water, Bajie, why are you still reading the text message?

42. Flip a coin and ask God if I love you. If it is positive, it means I love you. If it is negative, then, then will God be wrong?

43, vital capacity self-test tips: lower the head to suck after farting, and then observe whether people around you smell the smell. If so, you must strengthen your exercise according to this method; If not, then prove that you are superman!

44. If you turn around and frighten a cow to death, if you turn around and Jordan plays football, if you turn around three times, the recombined person will become a monkey.

45. People say you are cool, but you are really wearing pants: bell bottoms, jeans, casual pants, bloomers and cropped pants. If you are not cool enough, open your pants and be cool.

46. In my eyes, you always look carefree, always eat with relish and always sleep soundly. I really envy you. Sometimes I think it's good to be a pig.

47. Today is your lucky day: you bought a leather shoe with no bottom, a teapot without a mouth, pulled a mule without a condom, and tried to make a phone call without a signal.

48. As time goes by, people become thinner and thinner. Cover your face with heavy ballast and eat enough. I don't like the dry food of white flour. Three years without weight and meat. I'm so fucking thin, I'm covered in hard bones!

49. This is a poem by Li Bai. Please read it out loud: in the dormitory, holding Mei Wenhua, I won the prize. I invited Wen to sleep in the dormitory, and the dormitory knew Chunqing.

50. A couple gave birth to eight children, followed by osmanthus, camellia, plum blossom, chrysanthemum, yellow flower, grass flower and wild flower, and the last one was called money-free flower.

5 1, the first ray of sunshine in the morning is my deep blessing to you. The last blush of the sunset is my heartfelt greeting to you: How are you, fool?

52. The sky is gray and wild. I am an old pervert. The water is crooked, the road is long, and you can't be busy without money. There are so many people in the building that I can't wait to take you into the room.

53. A drop of water is very small in the ocean and very large in the desert; Red-crowned cranes are small in cranes and large in chickens; You are small in the crowd and great in the pigsty!

54. Tell you a good news: If the SIM card is heated above 500 degrees, your mobile phone fee will be halved. Try it quickly!

55. Anyone who drowns can swim, and anyone who falls dead loves climbing mountains. It's delicious to die Those who starved to death were all dieters. The one who died laughing is reading the text message.

When my hero was young, a girl was willing to give her life for me. She firmly said to me: if you pester me again, I will die.

57. There is a donkey next door. He was born stubborn, told him to run around, told him to walk, tripped him, texted him, and laughed after reading it.

58. To test Putonghua, please read aloud the following poems: Dark Stone Green, Dark Stone Dianthus, Dark Stone for Spring Green, Dark Stone for Chun Zhu.

59. Be a pair of little mice in the afterlife! Silly love, plain life, clusters of snuggling, silly together, happy to beat you.

To test your Mandarin, please read aloud the following poems: Dark Stone Green, Dark Dianthus, Dark Stone Passing through Chun Lv, Dark Stone Passing through Chun Zhu.

6 1. If you think that harassing me by texting can make your dirty heart feel unusually satisfied, then you can continue to send it. I sympathize with you!

62. Seeing your back, I want to commit a crime. Seeing your silhouette, I want to shrink back, seeing your front, I want to defend myself.

63. Eating and drinking are delayed again and again. If you have to pee, you won't sleep. Not farting will suffocate your heart. Don't push, exercise.

64. When I was in college, at nine o'clock in the evening, my aunt, the administrator of the girls' building, would shout in the building with a trumpet: Girls, see Fujian off.

65. Friend, are you in trouble? Don't worry, the ancients said: there will be a road in the end, and there will be a road in the end. It's no use worrying!

66. I wish you a pleasant journey and disappear halfway; I wish you laugh often, you have to laugh anyway; I wish you a happy day, leg cramps; I wish you all the best and hit a wall everywhere.

67. The bean bag smashed the flower roll, and the flower roll asked the oil cake for help! Seeing Yuanxiao, Doubao said, I still know you when you are thin!

68. It is more tiring to marry a wife. I wash my feet, rub my legs, rub my back, and then sleep with my bed. Just like the old society, all my handles are bitter tears!

69. In order to celebrate the 20th anniversary of two-way charging, all text messages are sent free of charge during the Spring Festival, and one yuan is charged. To cancel, please dial 200!

70. I sent you this ten-cent short message to tell you that I am not a person who haggles over every ounce. For example, this dime message is my birthday present to you. Don't forget to invite me to dinner tonight.

7 1, I feel very sad, tears flow like a river, and my character is good. Why do you love others and not me, my dear RMB?

Congratulations, your wish that "all fences have been knocked down, feed has fallen from the sky, butchers all over the world have died, and people all over the world have become Buddhists" has come true!

73. I had a dream last night: God told me that I was doomed to be lonely in this life. There's only one way to crack it. Text ten idiots. I cried at that time: God, I only know you, and I'm finished.

74. Call your mobile phone, and the prompt is: user goes to the toilet, please dial later. Dial again, prompt tone: the user fell into the toilet. Are you okay?

75. You see my infatuation, my hospitality, my true love and my doubts in your eyes. What a big piece of shit!

76.oh! It's snowing. I really want to turn into a snowflake and fly to your arms. I flew into your collar, your cuffs, your ... why don't you zip it up!

77. Freeze. Robbery! Hands up. Men stand on the left, women stand on the right, perverts stand in the middle, hey! I'm talking about you, pretending to look at your mobile phone!

78. If you turn around and frighten a cow to death, if you turn around and knock down a building, if you turn around and the girl in the street jumps off a building, if you turn around and the Cycas blooms backwards.

79. A man riding a bicycle spread out his handle and met a traffic policeman at a fork in the road. The traffic police shouted to him: good palm. The man replied happily: comrades have worked hard!

80. Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was an idiot. He is so stupid that when people ask him any questions, he just shakes his head or answers "No". Have you heard this story?

8 1, you are beautiful and moving. Turn around, the ghost frowns, turn around, turn around for a thousand years, and the mute shouts, turn around, Tai Sen becomes table tennis, turn around, Yang Guo falls in love with Li Mochou, turn around, and the monk becomes soft!