Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - "Braided Handsome" Zhang Xun and the famous prostitute Amao

"Braided Handsome" Zhang Xun and the famous prostitute Amao

Zhang Xun was drunk under a beautiful skirt.

1900

Eight-Nation Alliance captured Beijing.

Empress Dowager Cixi and Emperor Guangxu fled to the west in a hurry.

Zhang Xun was sent to escort. Everyone knows that this is a terrible job. Zhang Xun risked his life to escort.

Won the praise of Empress Dowager Cixi.

Call him "brave and commendable"

After returning to the palace, he won the "holy pet". Zhang Xun, who is greedy for money, strikes while the iron is hot.

Secretly bribed eunuch Li, the private manager of the Western Empress Dowager.

He soon became an important figure in North Korea. The rise of Zhang Xun.

It poses a great threat to Yuan Shikai, who has always been scheming. Feng, watching the fire on the other side of the mountain, saw Yuan Shikai's thief.

Feel an opportunity. One day he asked tentatively, "Yuan Dashuai.

Judging from the expression on your face.

She seems to have something on her mind.

Tell me about it.

Maybe it can help you. "Yuan shikai see feng sincere attitude.

So I told him the truth.

Feng laughed after listening: "What's so hard about this?"

Just to see if you are willing to give up your beauty? "

Yuan Shikai stared blankly and said, "Feng Dashuai.

I don't understand what you said. "

Feng smiled again: "Are you willing to give up Amao? He Zhang Xun is a sex maniac. If you give Amao to him,

With this move,

Can you rain at any time? "

Amao is a famous flower in Beijing.

Qing Guo mei ren

Although only an adult.

But she has existed for a long time. I met Yuan Shikai two years ago.

They fell in love at first sight.

From this time on.

Amao has almost become his specialty. Yuan Shikai weighed the pros and cons. Ning Wu, a scholar in Qing Dynasty, came to Chengjiang with his classmates to take the examination of selecting tribute students. In the first year of the exam, Ning Wu won the first place in classics, ancient books and other subjects. He thought this tribute was a shoo-in, and he also brought enough money. So he stayed in the inn every day, drinking and writing poems with his classmates, which was very interesting. shortcomings

For one's great cause

Had to give up what one favours very reluctantly.

He squinted at Feng Zhangguo and waved, "You are the master of Feng Dashuai."

Who will be sent to make peace with Zhang Xun? Feng came back from.

When considering the next step.

Suddenly thought of a person

It's counselor Yang Shiqi.

He and Zhang Xun used to be best friends.

It is best for him to make up with Zhang Xun. Yang Shiqi obeyed orders.

Go to Zhang fu quickly

Met Zhang Xun

Grinning: "Zhang Dashuai!

Listen to your wife Niu.

I want to find you a concubine to accompany you.

I found a stunning beauty.

I'm here to report. "

"who?" Zhang Xun a face of lewd smile.

"Amao." Shi Qi intends to emphasize.

"Isn't she Yuan Dashuai's mistress?"

"I told Yuan Dashuai about this matter.

he said

If you need it in Zhang Dashuai.

He is willing to hold hands and ask the Weaver Girl what this means. Send. "

"In that case.

I have to see for myself. "

the next day

Yang Shiqi took Zhang Xun to Zuiquanlou.

heretofore

Yang Shiqi has already communicated with Amao.

Amao readily agreed.

Made preparations.

Today, I am more attractive in front of Zhang Xun.

Take them to the smoking room happily. Zhang Xun lifted up his eyes and looked closely.

I saw Amao wearing a Zhu coat and a long skirt.

Slim and plump

Wear silk boots

Peach-like face with high collar.

Beautiful facial features

(of a woman) with bright eyes and teeth.

Delicate and charming. Yushou Giotto cigarette tray

Yan Yan's eyes kept rolling on Zhang Xun's face.

Come to the bedside

Put the cigarette tray on the bed.

Then fiddle with the embroidered pillow on the brocade quilt

Pulling Zhang Xun's belt with joy, he said, "Marshal!

Would you like to taste it? "Zhang Xun is a chain smoker.

Now that I see this stunning beauty, I naturally want to be a pervert. He couldn't wait to hold Amao to his chest. Kissed Yang Shiqi in front of her: "What's your name? Where are you from? How old is it? " Mao is very cute.

Feminine: "My name is Amao.

Nineteen years old this year

Jiaxing people. "

"Will you marry me as a concubine?"

"You are a guard.

I'm just a prostitute.

How dare you? "

"I like you.

What dare? "

"I was born this * * *

But I wasn't born to you. "

Yang Shiqi added fuel to the fire and said, "Today is destiny takes a hand.

from now on

You are a handsome man.

This is not a blessing. What is this? "Say an excuse to leave. Zhang Xun didn't wait for Mao to close.

Just opened her underwear. Zhang Xun never dreamed.

Amao is a time bomb buried by Yuan Shikai.

Meirenjing

be bogged down deeper and deeper

Since Zhang Xun got a new Yan Amao.

All the other women have been forgotten.

If you still feel that these facilities are not warm enough or are worried about being frozen outdoors, there are stoves to prepare. The stove is also called brazier or smoke cage. The shape and size of the smoke cage vary greatly, reaching hundreds of pounds, more than meters high and full of feet, which is very luxurious; Small as a watermelon, you can lift it at will. There are foot stoves to warm feet and hand stoves to warm hands, which are also beautifully made. Color "

He was fascinated by this new beauty.

Do whatever she says. 19 1 1 year

The Revolution of 1911 began.

An unprecedented wave of revolution is surging all over the country. Stubborn Zhang Xun led the Braid Army to fight Yuhuatai with the Ninth Army of the Revolutionary Army. Zhang Xun defeated the revolutionary army by gun superiority.

After entering Nanjing city

Zhang Xun, the lackey of Qing court.

Serve the master unexpectedly.

In the name of searching for revolutionaries

It is ordered that anyone who cuts braids, wears suits, hangs white flags and hangs white cloth shall be put to death. a short while

There are bloody heads hanging everywhere in the city.

This ancient city is in the midst of a blood shed.

Almost every household has given up smoking.

The road is broken. 12 February

The revolutionary army conquered Nanjing.

Zhang Xun was defeated by the revolutionary army.

In Zijinshan, Tianbaoshan, Lion Mountain and other places, we fought hard.

Finally defeated.

Han Mo looked at Zhu Zifeng and sighed: I know you are leaving, but Zifeng, you must protect yourself. It doesn't matter if you can't pick Ganoderma lucidum. The important thing is that you are alive, and I am alive when you are alive. Northern flight

Retreat to Xuzhou. I didn't take care of my hostess Amao in my hurry.

Let her fall into the hands of the revolutionary army. The news that Feng heard.

The commander of the allied forces came forward to discuss with Xu.

Propose peace between the north and the south. Xu agreed to take back the chariots captured by Zhang Xun and replace them. Zhang Xun is helpless.

Forced to trade chariots for beautiful women. The allied forces sent someone to send Amao to Xuzhou.

Zhang Xun, who was hiding in Xuzhou, greeted him personally.

Welcome Mao.

Although Zhang Xun was defeated.

However, the Qing court greatly rewarded him for the Nanjing Massacre.

Governor of Jiangsu, Governor of Liangjiang and Minister of Nanyang. Zhang Xun was flattered.

Mass conscription

Speed up preparations for war

Oppose the North-South peace talks. Amao gave this information to Feng and Yuan Shikai in time. At this point, Yuan Shikai is plotting to make a comeback.

Organize north-south peace talks

In vain, the wild flowers in the crevices between the stones on both sides of the spring are beautiful, and the fruit trees in the flowers are beautiful all over the world! The White Goose Girl sat on the vine, clapping her hands, swinging her feet and singing a happy song. Steal the fruits of the revolution. As the general representative of the North-South peace talks, Tang Shaoqu, the magistrate, wanted to go forward and argue, but because of the presence of the magistrate, it was difficult to speak. When one of his entourage went to the toilet, Qu Zhifu followed him in and asked, only to know that this "rich businessman" was actually the owner. Yi suggested that Feng move the stumbling block of Zhang Xun. This is exactly what Feng wants.

Immediately cable Yuan Shikai to get rid of Zhang Xun.

At the same time give Mao a chance.

This day

At Feng's request, Amao asked Zhang Xun to accompany her to the theatre. Zhang Xun, who has a deep hatred, has a guilty conscience.

He said to her, "Go alone.

I'm afraid someone will stab me in the back on the road. "Amao poked his face with his finger and said," Thanks to you, you are a hero.

I think it is more terrible than a bear.

I'm not afraid of a weak woman.

What are you afraid of? "Zhang Xun kink her.

She got into the sedan chair arm in arm. Feng doesn't want to kill Mao with him.

But they both share a sedan chair.

We must let them go to hell together. Who knows if Zhang Xun's life should be lost?

The assassin only threw a bomb at the roadside.

Only scared Zhang Xun and Amao half to death.

then

Amao found Feng and made a scene. Yinchuan, located in the middle of Ningxia Plain in the upper reaches of the Yellow River, is a famous historical and cultural city in China. In August, Ningxia Hui Autonomous Region was established. Yinchuan is the capital of the autonomous region, the political, economic and cultural center of the autonomous region, and is known as the "pearl on the plug". Feng is not good at telling the truth.

He used his quick wits to kill two birds with one stone.

Asserting that Yuan Shikai did it.

This made Amao hate Yuan Shikai's guts.

Anti-Zhang Xun again. Amao not only doesn't hate Feng

On the contrary, I became more loyal to him.

65438+1 October1next year.

Sun Yat-sen became the president of Nanjing Provisional Government.

Yuan Shikai, who was eyeing up, panicked.

The old nun didn't get angry or refute, just shook her head, slowly climbed into the sewer and hid in the direction of the nun. Head through Amao to woo Zhang Xun. He knew that Zhang Xun was a reckless figure like Zhang Fei.

Is a rare hard-working talent. Zhang Xun and Yuan Shikai were both killed, and of course they won't give in easily.

But Amao pushed him gently. Let the temperature in Zhang Xun rise to 100 degrees.

Can't stand Amao's youthful spring rain: "At least you are allies."

A virtuous person realizes the interests of others.

Let bygones be bygones.

The man who knows the time is the God of the Road. Does he prefer the God of Wealth and Jie Jun? "Yuan Shikai also sent a confidant Xu Shichang to beat about the bush:" Shao Xuan.

You are loyal to the Qing Dynasty.

I admire

Yuan Dashuai and I are one heart. However, at present, the party is in full swing.

People are bewitched.

Its potential is enormous.

Yuan Dashuai Tongda contingency

Make peace with the party. Over time.

A loser. If you think about it once, you will make great plans.

No match for Yuan Dashuai.

There is just no way to clean the room. My brother has a long way to go.

I'm willing to think twice. Zhang Xun immediately said, "What the teacher said.

Apprentices can do it.

Support Yuan Dashuai. "On the third day.

That is, the message of "supporting the Republic of China of Yuan Shikai" was sent to Yuan Shikai from Beijing. Yuan Shikai was ecstatic.

I couldn't help saying, "Amao!

You have made a great contribution to me.

I will always remember your true feelings. Amao went to tell Feng Zhangxun. "。

Deepen their resentment against Zhang Xun.

February

Yuan Shikai got his wish.

He became the interim president of the Republic of China. Feng panicked.

Order Mao to act quickly.

Send Zhang Xun's words and deeds to Yuan Shikai in time. Zhang Xun did not change his original intention towards the Qing court.

Although they changed their clothes, they immediately came to the emperor and asked, "Father, please allow us to go outside and see the world and let others know us." Ken cut off his braid. Yuan Shikai was extremely dissatisfied with Zhang Xun.

Repeated warnings and orders

Ask him to change his mind. But he went his own way.

Walk down the street with braids.

He also kept the gift of bowing to the Qing court visitors.

Don't think this is shameful.

I'm proud of it. Yuan Shikai was helpless to him.

So we had to adapt the Jiangfang battalion led by him into the former army of Wuwei.

Moved to Yanzhou, Shandong Province. This conspiracy

Zhang Xun doesn't know.

I only know that Amao's Fragrant Wind is refreshing.

This trap is called fairyland. "

Sow the seeds of your own destruction

Can't survive.

1965438+July 2003

It hasn't rained for months.

The sun is burning.

Nanjing, known as the "city of fire", is experiencing a heat wave. Yuan Shikai ordered Zhang Xun and Feng to attack the Eighth Army of Nanjing Garrison. Zhang Xun is not happy.

Run to Beijing

Let Yuan give him the main task. The news has reached Feng from Amao. Feng took advantage of Zhang Hexun's unprepared.

Get there first. Zhang Xun was very angry when he heard the news.

Secretly scold: "Feng!

Am I afraid of you? "Then learn the principle of the tortoise and rabbit race.

Stupid birds have to start flying early.

Without a moment's respite

According to Yuan Shikai's telegram

Go to Yanzhou first to listen to the order. Zhang Xun got off.

Go straight to the official residence

See feng, already waiting. The first battalion officer didn't know Feng.

Rush in and say, "Report to Zhang Dashuai."

Our team has been sent out.

He Feng Dashuai hasn't set out yet.

Order is at sixes and sevens

What a joke. "Zhang Xun heart very proud.

You can pretend to be angry in front of Feng and say, "What are you talking about?"

Feng Dashuai came early. "Feng was sitting there flushed with embarrassment.

I said to myself, "Old braid!

I'll beat you to death. "So playing along.

Just urged Zhang Xun to attack Nanking.

August 14

Zhang Xun began to attack the city.

Nanjing is the fairy tale of the Wolf of the Grassland and the capital of the ancient imperial city.

It's really an iron wall

Braid army began shelling again.

Another gunfight.

It's no use fighting with pigtails up. Zhang Xun has a temper.

Immediately organize death squads to storm.

The result was a fiasco. Feng watched the battle.

First secretly pleased.

Hiding in a tent, smoking and drinking tea.

Stay where you are. But I think if this city hadn't been breached,

How to make profits? Not anxious.

Fidgeting. Counselor Zhang Zhongcheng saw the curtain and entered the account.

He said to Feng, "There will be a subtotal in the end.

Can make the guards profit.

I wonder if it's possible. "Feng to make a cup of tea.

He stared at his face and said, "Please speak quickly." Zhang Zhongcheng took a sip at the tea ceremony: "Do you remember that guard? The last battle of Yuhuatai

Zhang Xun raped and robbed in the city.

kill and burn

Turned the whole city of Nanjing into a hell on earth

Some foreigners protested in succession. Fortunately, it was the revolutionaries who wronged him.

Otherwise, will those foreigners stop there? If Zhang Xun wins Nanking this time,

It must be in the name of searching for revolutionaries.

Play the same old trick

This will inevitably cause resistance from foreigners. The news that Yuan Shifeng, who was most afraid of foreigners, was really resurrected, not only spread like wildfire in Cui Yun Tower, but also spread all over the city. After hearing this, Sun was relieved, but he didn't believe it would be a living fact. He guessed that there must be something fishy in it. What interests him most is the bully Mr. Wu. When he was upset about Feng Ke hanging himself, he was overjoyed to learn that Feng Ke had been resurrected. He told the procuress of Cui Yun Building to keep an eye on Feng Zhen and continue to plan for her to be an concubine. Kay will come to a logical conclusion.

Give Nanjing to the prince. "Feng after hearing the bliss.

A person's face reveals happiness.

But he frowned at once. "That's a good idea.

I'm afraid he Zhang Xun won't get into this cage. Zhong-smiled and said, "Now Zhang Xun is full of fire." .

There is nothing to do.

Can we borrow Mao to conquer him again? "He looked at feng's face.

Further, he said, "Zhang Xun is a clown.

How is an adult opponent. As long as it's not just that, have you found that many courtyards in the Forbidden City have been sealed up! It's not open to tourists. In fact, there have been phenomena in every mansion that science cannot explain. Many people died in these places when they were not closed in the past! They either disappear for no reason or die, but they are always so bizarre that they can't find the reason, but they have one thing in common: if you can still see your body after death, then your body has no face. More cautious is a well. Looking down during the day, there are some stones and weeds at the bottom of the well. But when you look down after midnight every night, as long as there is a moon in the sky, you will see that the bottom of the well is not stones and weeds, but water, but it is not your face reflected on the water.

Nobody can say anything. "

Feng nodded.

I chatted with Amao that night.

Explain it this way. Amao gently picked Emei: "This is a good plan.

However, this is a move that hurts morality.

Guilty to God. "

"Zhang Xun unreasonable.

do evil

The chaos in my country

This man is not divided.

Isn't this more humiliating and insulting to God? Amao said: "Now most officials are corrupt officials.

Should be punished by God. "Said to feng," am I here? "

"good

I listen to you. "Amao ordered.

Dress up again

Appear more charming Song Dynasty, there was a thief named Wang in Bianjing City. This man is a superb thief and never misses his hand. Everyone in the gang called him a thief.

Go back and leave.

Zhang Xun benefited the most from Amao's sweet words.

Send a dozen confidants to cut their braids at once.

Dress up as ordinary people and blend into the city.

Infiltrate the enemy in the name of joining the army

Let's have an inside job. At the same time, he gave a dead order to his braid army: "Just rush into the city.

Allow three days of robbery.

What did you get?

Keep it all for yourself.

Three days later.

Report again. "The powerful temptation of money and beauty has added great courage to the braid army. I once tasted that Lao Li Mandeyou was still a young man in Yuhuatai. He saw the county magistrate buried with his own eyes. He knows that the buried person used to be a very respectable person! Seeing that everyone in the village was discussing moving the grave, he was anxious. Sweet braid army

One by one like a scourge.

To push or bump through.

Rush forward regardless of personal safety

irresistible

Although there are many casualties.

But most people flock to the city.

They kill everyone they see.

Rape every woman.

Grab the money when you see it.

Even a three-year-old child

The 70-year-old woman was not spared. At that time, the whole city began to cry loudly.

in an awful mess

It's terrible.

Zhang Xun took Nanking.

Think of Zhu Yuanzhang in those days

I am very happy: "am I the second largest in Hongwu?"

I didn't expect him to get carried away.

Great disasters followed. someone says that

Zhang Xun offended foreigners.

The Japanese are complaining to Yuan Dashuai. This was introduced to Zhang Xun.

He is annoyed and anxious.

I want to find Mao to solve my urgent need again. Unexpectedly, his favorite concubine hair.

See the tragic scene of Nanjing

absent-minded

Six gods are uncertain

Eating is tasteless.

Then find some oranges to warm your stomach. While eating oranges

Caught by Zhang Xun.

Knowing she can't eat oranges.

He scolded, "Why don't you learn your lesson and eat oranges?" Amao said angrily, "I have a bad appetite.

What's wrong with you eating some oranges? "Zhang Xun don't know where the anger.

Just hit her in the left face.

A shaggy pink face

Five fingerprints were printed. Amao thought: Now that I have contacted you.

Never heard a word.

You won the world today.

Just forget my good? Take it out on me? What an old thief

I fight with you? Hit him head-on Zhang Xun added fuel to the fire.

Give her another right slap.

Make her eyes golden. Is Amao willing to beg for mercy: "Will you fight to the death today?" Hit the head again. Zhang Xun punched her pretty breasts hard.

Amao immediately fell to the ground.

Seven holes bleed. Now I'm worried about Zhang Xun.

Pick her up: "My dear!"

Is it my fault to hurt you? "Mao didn't wake up for a long time.

Said intermittently, "No.

I did this to you. You killed this country.

Hurt people.

You are a dog officer

I am a dog girl.

None of us will die of natural causes. "Say that finish, he died.

Buried a Mao Gang.

Foreigners are pushing Yuan Shikai.

Let him deal with Zhang Xun. Feng sees a needle in the seam.

Expand the situation. Yuan Shikai urgently ordered the recall of Zhang Xun.

Feng was appointed governor of Jiangsu.

Take over Nanjing. March of the following year

Zhang Xun died after seven days of sudden illness. So people say, "Zhang Xun Amao.

Evil is inevitable. "

Famous prostitute Zhang Xun