What jokes do girls like to listen to? Can you say a few?

1. A cat caught a mouse and was about to kill it when the mouse suddenly said, "Brother Cat, please let me go. I will tell you a big secret! " The cat asked, "What's the secret? You are quick to say! " The mouse said, "I found that the relationship between your wife and XXX is not normal!" " Let go of me and I'll tell you who it is. "The cat was very angry and bit the mouse hard:" Small kind, don't you dare lie to me, I have been divorced for several years! " "

Seabirds found a turtle on the beach and wanted to eat it, but they couldn't peck its head. The turtle's shell is so strong that it can't be pecked open. The seabird said angrily, "you are shameless!" Isn't there a thick shell on the back to protect it? If you can, turn over and let me peck your stomach! " When the tortoise thinks about it, the shell on his stomach is just as hard. It is better to let him peck twice and let him die early. So, with the help of seabirds, the tortoise turned over with all its strength. The seabird didn't peck it, but smiled proudly: "Haha! You've been cheated! See how you turn over, I don't believe the sun can't kill you! "

3. The eagle leads the baby eagle to practice flying. After hitting a tree several times, Kitty Hawk refused to practice any more.

The eagle patiently enlightened the baby eagle: "son, don't give up!" " Haven't you read the book "You can't see the rainbow without experiencing wind and rain"! How can you succeed without failure! "

Katie replied, "mom, but the book I read says so: the brake system is unqualified, and you are not allowed to go on the road!" " "

At night, a mosquito carefully looks for the target outside the mosquito net. Suddenly, it saw a mosquito flying comfortably in a mosquito net, so it leaned down and asked, "You are really capable! You can fly in such a strong net. Can you tell me how you got in? " The mosquito in the mosquito net replied, "Yes, this is very simple, but you have to tell me, how did you escape?"

5. The mice get together to hold the annual election meeting. The old leader said, "I'm retiring soon. We must elect a capable new leader today! But one thing must be solved first, that is, the big cat at the door is too powerful and hurts many of our brothers. Whoever has the ability to drive that big cat away, we will choose him as the new leader! " Hearing this, a few young and strong mice became excited at once, all vying to settle accounts with the big cat. The old leader secretly rejoiced: "Great, there are fewer competitors!" "

6. A bird is catching a dragonfly. Dragonflies are too fast to be caught for a long time. The bird gasped and said, "I really admire you." Your flying skills are amazing! However, you also have shortcomings, that is, you can't stop in the air! " Dragonfly proudly said, "What's so hard about it? Look at me! " Say that finish, it really stopped in the air. The bird seized the opportunity, rushed up, ate the dragonfly in one bite, and proudly said, "I really couldn't catch you if I didn't know you would do this!" " "

7. Mosquitoes go to see a doctor. The doctor asked, "What's the matter?" The mosquito replied, "Doctor, my stomach is upset!" " "The doctor asked again," What did you eat? " Mosquito sighed: "Don't mention it! I used to drink type o blood. Last night, on a whim, I drank a few mouthfuls of AB blood! "Doctor:" Go home and raise it, you are not sick at all! " Mosquito said helplessly, "doctor, just give me a few boxes of laxatives." I'm really sick. At the very least, it is not unacceptable! " "

8. The moth was squatting on a light bulb to keep warm when she suddenly saw a gecko approaching it. Mother asked in horror, "What are you doing here?" Gecko lazily replied, "Like you, I'm here to keep warm!" " The moth asked, "Are you really here to keep warm?" Gecko replied, "Don't worry, I'm not lying." Really come to keep warm! "Moth slowly relaxed vigilance. Just when it was sleepy, the gecko suddenly jumped up and bit it. The moth struggled to say, "You big liar, you didn't tell the truth!" " "Gecko said seriously:" I didn't lie to you, I really came to keep warm! " But I forgot to tell you, I also want to have dinner by the way! "

9. A small fly bumped into the glass window, but couldn't find the exit. An old fly saw it and said contemptuously, "Idiot! Are you blind? That's glass. You are too tired to fly out. Really lost the face of our flies! " Xiaofei was laughed at and said unconvinced, "What do you know, old man? I'm roller skating! Our new generation is playing heartbeat, and we really can't communicate with you old guys. "