Xiao Jiang tells jokes.

The school exploded, and before the morning self-study was over, students Bush and Blair suddenly jumped up to chase Saddam Hussein, and everyone climbed up the wall to watch the fun. The schoolbags, erasers and pencil boxes in the classroom are flying all over the sky.

Feifei, Bush took out the plank brick from his schoolbag and greeted him hard. Unexpectedly, Saddam was hungry for several months, but he was full of energy, flexible and dodgy, and unscathed.

The students were booed, and the reporter from Al Jazeera Station of the school radio station asked the CNN reporter in wonder: "Isn't the Bush brick claimed to be equipped with a camera?" Why can't you call for so long?

Quasi? "CNN said:" It's not that we are incompetent, but that the enemy is too cunning. He always digs under the table. The peninsula suddenly exclaimed: "Sister Feng is back! Danger! " It turned out that the phoenix was robbing her.

The headline of the school newspaper rushed into the middle of the classroom to interview Saddam's classmates under the desk. Num correspondent saw that the limelight was robbed and quickly ran to the middle of the classroom to pose.

Bush is a little anxious when he always misses: "Blair, you go over there and we will block him." Blair rushed over and said, "boss, I'm coming!" " Mr. Bush keeps his word and is a great man.

It's on his face and it's purple. "hey!" Blair was anxious: "Why did you hit me when you hit Saddam?" The classroom was booed, and Bush quickly explained, "Accidental injury, accidental injury, next time."

I won't. "After saying his word, another brick hit Blair in the face, and Blair crawled to Howard's side:" Oh, give me a hand, do you remember the place occupied by my grandfather 200 years ago?

What happened in their yard was personal. "Howard said," I'm just hanging out. Mainly about the two of you. I helped you fight, and my family scolded me to death

The students quit, and a group of buddies who lived with Saddam in the oil compound quarreled: "If they fight like this, no one will take care of them?" What about the class cadres? Where did the class cadre go? "

Seeing that everyone was watching him, Xiao Jiang stood up and walked up to Bush: "You have something to say, why don't you always say it?" Didn't we talk about it? It's wrong to hit a classmate, even if

Didn't hit the pizza, hit the tables and chairs, the flowers on the windowsill ... "

Tung Chee-hwa asked Xiao Hu: "Second brother, why do you still say these words?" ? The students are impatient. "Jiang said with a smile," don't make so much noise, don't make so much noise, let me finish.

The cadres in our class agree that beating people should be stopped immediately, and everyone should go to the office to vote and solve this problem under the framework of primary code, okay? Aren't you listening? Still playing? Then I can

Want to-continue to protest! "

Xiao Jiang returned to the wall with discontented eyes and whispered to Xiao Hu Xiaodong: "If you want to be the boss, you have to endure it first. Boss Mao was chased all over the playground and his shoes ran away. Finally, he didn't. "

Still turning? This is wisdom ... "Xiao Hu and Xiao Dong looked at Jiang admiringly and thoughtfully.

Schroeder quietly said to Putin: "Bush is so crazy, you just watch?" You're the boss, too. Go. "Putin sighed:" My time as a boss is not long. think

Sixty years ago, our family fought hard to protect our property. We kicked Bush out of the house! "

Schroeder's face is a little red: "Laopu, you are mistaken. That's what our family did. " Putin woke up with a start: "Ah, yes, our two families had a lot of quarrels, but they were both Bushes."

Take it off-"the more he thinks about it, the more angry he becomes. He shouted, "What are you hitting? "

Bush said, "There is a murder weapon in your desk." Putin said: "Did you find it? Besides, what's that in your hand? It's your sister's underwear! " Blair said, "We bring men.

It is approved by the teacher! "Chirac couldn't help it:" Nonsense! You say fight, you make the rules? I thought that year, Lao Tzu also had money ... "He just thought of the second half of the sentence and didn't say it.

Let's go

Putin rubbed himself on Xiao Jiang: "My two brothers are together, and these two boys are too arrogant. Xiaoxi Xiaoshi is here. " Xiao Jiang said, "I understand, but I have to take care of my family first." say

Try to take a look at Chen's classmates. A-bian's classmates are jumping and clapping: "Boss, well played!" " Suddenly, I saw Xiao Hu's classmates staring at themselves. Trembling with fear, I went to pull Buche's sleeve and said, "Boss!" "

Don't throw away all the bricks, leave some for me. Xiao Jiang and Xiao Hu stared at me-"Bush gasped wearily and said impatiently." They didn't dare. You stay away first. "

A-bian talks nonsense to Xiao Hu: "Don't be a cow, my boss is here." Xiao Hu said, "Do you believe that I am hitting you now?" A-bian rubbed against Bush and said, "You hit me, you hit me."

! Xiao Jiang Xiao Hu Xiaodong went up and gave a hard knock. After hitting Xiao Jiang, he said, "You heard that. He asked us to fight. " Xiao Hu shrugged: "It's the first time I've heard such a request in my life."

"

A-bian said with a bitter face, "Don't I just want to be separated from you?" Can I quit the Jianghu? "Xiao Jiang and Xiao Hu looked at each other and said in unison," People's hearts are rivers and lakes. How can you retreat?

"Koizumi interrupted:" Xiao Jiang Xiao Hu, be careful, the boss can fight three times at the same time. "Xiaojiang was in a hurry:" I burned down our house and haven't settled accounts with you yet. It's a loss! " "nonsense

"Brother, he met his ancestors two days ago, which shows that he needs to be beaten." Koizumi was anxious: "I have no money. In a couple of days, I rented the fishing stone at the door to Boss Bush to sharpen my knife, and then. "

Besides. "Jiang Fried:" what! That stone belongs to our family! I, I, I can't beat foreigners or you? "

A cold voice sounded behind him: "Xiao Jiang, get out of the way." Jiang turned around and his big slingshot was full, facing Koizumi. Roh Moo-hyun and Xiao Hu are very busy.

Go up and stop: "You can't do it, it will make a big noise."

Koizumi was also scared and shouted at Bush: "Boss, they are going to hit me!" " Bush is already sweating profusely. He said, "By the way, you can pay Saddam's medical expenses later." "Koizumi said bitterly.

I cried: "What? ! It was me last time. I don't have that much money, and the landlord has no surplus food. " Blair said, "Bullshit, only your family has money." Koizumi pointed to Xiao Jiang and said, "

Their family has been stealing our business recently. "Come on, there are oil wells in Saddam's yard. When the house is demolished, it can be sold and then divided. "

Chirac jumped up and said, "Ha! Admit it, you are not interested in maintaining discipline, but in Xiao Sa's house! " Saddam's classmates poked their heads out from under the desk and said, "you uncle!" "

, you just know now. "A whoosh, a plank brick almost hit him, hurriedly shrank back.

The small correspondent on the peninsula suddenly shouted: "I saw it! This brick was thrown by Sharon's classmate! " The students in the petroleum compound shouted: "Shapi hit someone, Shapi hit someone!" " "Salon

Put your hands behind your back and say, "No, I don't care. Who saw it! " "Arafat raised his hand." I saw it. He kept stuffing bricks into Bush's hand. "

Sharon said, "Do you want to die?" Arafat said, "Come on, I have a bomb strapped to me."

Sister Phoenix shouted, "Bush Blair, the whole school denounced you on the playground. They all say you have a crush on Xiao Sajia's oil well. Please don't fight! " Bush said, "Go ahead.

Damn it, I have to kill Sammy today! He pulled his Turkish classmate: "If you give way, I will go to him." Turkish classmate said: "Our family said that you would not be allowed to pass here." "

There was cheers in the classroom, and suddenly Bush got two chalk heads on his forehead: "Who did it!" " "He jumped into the chair and asked. Blair said: "I saw it! Khamenei of the Iranian family

Learn from Assad in Syria! "Bush said," You two want to be beaten, don't you? Khamenei said, "If you touch me, I will break all your windows! "

Xiao Jiang and Pu Jing also shouted: "Stop fighting! What's the big deal with a few broken bricks in your hand? Who hasn't? No classes. It's all smashed. Who is afraid of who? "

Teacher Annan yawned outside the door: "Didn't you say it would be over in two minutes?" When will this be released? "

War at home's short plays.

This is a national law. I hit you with family law. "

Yuan hurriedly separated the two men: "Do you know how to hit people? Children should be beaten if they don't obey, but you shouldn't always twist their ears. "

Liu Huabin: "Where are you going?"

Yuan: "spanking."

Liu Huabin: "You are so confused, can your ass be obedient?"

Yuan: "Beethoven and Edison became deaf because their ears were roughly distorted." Love can. If this happens, I think you will regret it all your life! This is just a quartz clock. Just buy another one tomorrow. I think the brand of diamonds they bought in Pan Yan is very good. I have taken a fancy to it. "

Liu Huabin: "That's not as good as the Shanghai brand. This brand is the home of Director Song. "

Liu Aineng said tearfully, "Don't argue, I think Beijing brand is the best."

Yuan was surprised: "How do you know?"

Liu Aineng: "Didn't you hear Beijing time reported on the radio every day? Beijing time is the most accurate. Beijing brand quartz clock is of course the most accurate. "

Yuan: "Son, tell your mother what hope you have?"

Liu Aineng: "I hope my father's hand becomes smaller, so he can't hit me." I wish I had a TV on my wrist, but even if my father doesn't let me, I can still watch TV under the quilt. I wish there was a door on my forehead. When I need knowledge, I take it out. I also hope to be the first immortal person in the world. "

Liu Huabin: "Look, your mind is full of the word' lazy', and you even have illusions about studying."

Liu Aineng: "Dad, you are drunk, go home quickly. Do you imagine something different? " ? Why did mom scold you? "

Liu Huabin: "Your mother started the war."

Liu Ai can put down the book and say, "Dad, why do people quarrel? How does the quarrel start? "

Liu Huabin took Liu Aineng to sit beside him: "It's very simple. For example, your mother and her colleagues are at odds ... "

Yuan: "There is no such thing at all! I get along well with my colleagues. "

Liu Huabin's face fell: "I'm just giving an example."

Yuan roared: "For example, you can't talk nonsense out of nothing!"

Liu Huabin stared: "Then tell him yourself ..."

Yuan complained: "You try your best to push the responsibility on me!"

Liu Huabin was unconvinced: "It's not that I shirk responsibility, it's that you are picky ..."

Yuan: "You said I picked my nose ..."

Liu Huabin: "It's you …"

Yuan blushed: "No, you ..."

Liu Huabin: "You are heartless, cruel and unreasonable."

Yuan: "Then you are not heartless, cruel or unreasonable!"

Liu Huabin: "Where am I heartless, cruel and unreasonable?"

Yuan: "Where are you heartless, heartless and unreasonable?"

Liu Huabin: "No matter how ruthless, cruel and unreasonable I am, I will not be more ruthless, cruel and unreasonable than you."

Yuan: "Will I be more ruthless, cruel and unreasonable than you? You are the most ruthless, cruel and unreasonable person I have ever met. "

Liu Huabin: "Hum! I am definitely not as heartless, cruel or unreasonable as you. "

Yuan: "Good! Since you say that I am heartless and unreasonable, then I will show you heartless and unreasonable. "

Liu Huabin: "Look! Also said that you are not heartless, cruel and unreasonable? Now fully show your ruthless and unreasonable side. " "After ten years of marriage, we have nothing in common!" "

Yuan said quietly, "You are wrong again. We have been married for twelve years. "

Liu Ai can look at this, look at that and shout, "OK, I get it."

Yuan was hysterical: "I really regret that I shouldn't have married you!" "

Liu Huabin is tit for tat: "I regret it even more. I shouldn't have married you! " "

Yuan: "Are you blind?"

Liu Huabin: "Why don't you look like the Yuan Xiaofen I knew at the beginning?"

Yuan: "Why don't you look like the Liu Huabin I knew at the beginning!"

Liu Huabin: "You are importunate!"

Yuan: "You are a dirty lie! You ..... you dirty fleas, adulterous ants, gang-raped mosquitoes, pregnant flies, and babies delivered by elephants. You stay at home, anxious and kind to your wife. Your first child in the afterlife is still four elephants. If you have the courage to scold your wife at home, why can't you mix an official position and behave yourself in front of everyone? The car killed you-son of a bitch, leave the body in the wilderness! "

Liu Huabin: "You ... that car killed you! You are not as good as a pig and a dog. Graft your cat and mouse and put your mother's shit. " Throw the cigarette butt on the ground: "You are bored to death. I am so tired from work. You said to go for a walk at night, and I said another day. You are crying and making trouble. It's really annoying!" "

Yuan: "You hate it. I work as a cow and horse at home, clean this house, cook for you and give birth to your children. Just walking around will kill you! ”"

Liu Huabin: "Hey! Giving birth to a child is a matter for two people, not for me alone. Are you tired? "

Yuan: "Hum! If I had known you didn't care about having children, I wouldn't have given birth at all. Why do we women try to have a child? We must be responsible for everything about the child. "

Liu Huabin: "Hey! You can't have a baby alone. Without me, you have a fart. "

Yuan: "Hum! What contribution have you men made? "

Liu Huabin: "Hum! Without my contribution, what are you born! "

Yuan: "Haha! You contributed, very good! Then look at the contribution of our women: we have to endure vomiting when we are pregnant. I want to be careful about my diet. I dare not take medicine even if I am sick. I should pay attention to everything for the baby in my belly. It's inconvenient for me to be pregnant. I can't go for an outing anymore. It's inconvenient for me to take a bus. I'm going to put on a pot-bellied suit. I can't have sex safely. I have to worry about the health of the child in my belly. I want to go to the hospital for regular check-ups. I will ruin my figure when I am pregnant. I want to worry about the appearance of stretch marks. Efforts should be made to restore the body after childbirth, so that the husband does not resent it. I want to endure the pain of childbirth, I want to give birth in pain; I may have a caesarean section, and I may have postpartum depression. I want to take care of this newborn baby. My chest sagged from breastfeeding. I want to take care of the children's daily life. I want to go to bed later than the children and get up earlier than them. I want to get up in the middle of the night to nurse. I will still do all the housework, and I will give up my career. My husband goes out to play, and I want to take care of the children at home. Even being out of shape is an excuse for her husband to cheat. All this is my contribution. Strange, in that case, why does the child take your surname? I gave him blood, his flesh and everything. Who are you to argue with me? "

Liu Ai could only "hum" coldly: "This family is really inexplicable!" Impatience: "the first-class children are blessed, the second-class children are angry, the third-class children are lucky, and the fourth-class children are angry. Most regretful! How did I get to your house? "

Yuan and Liu Huabin glances, shocked.

Liu Aineng: "Dad, I know what rules are."

Liu Huabin: "Really, for example."

Liu Aineng: "At the end of the month, you and your mother must quarrel. This is the law. "

Liu Huabin: "This day is really impossible."

Liu Ju's eyes were red: "I beg you not to quarrel, okay?"

Liu Huabin: "No quarrel, anyway ..."

Yuan: "How about divorce?"

Liu Huabin: "This question-I've thought about it for a long time, but I can't make up my mind."

Yuan: "It seems that you will get this determination sooner or later."

Liu Huabin mumbled, "I will leave tomorrow ..."

Hearing this, Yuan said to himself, "Leave! Just waiting for your words. " Holding a towel, he gently scrubbed the filth on Liu Huabin's face and mouth, and said to himself, "This man is going to divorce me tomorrow. Why should I care about him? " Really, over the years, has he ever cared about my life and death ... "Slow down the wiping action:" Hey, friends, do something good for strangers like Lei Feng, anyway, I'm getting divorced tomorrow ... "

Liu Aineng said naively, "Dad, I really don't understand you two, I don't understand, I don't understand."

Liu Huabin: "Is there anything you can't understand?"

Liu Aineng: "Every time you divorce your mother, you talk about it, but every time you quarrel, you are all loving together."

Liu Huabin and Yuan looked at each other.

Liu Ju: "Divorce torments you every day. You see, it's been years, and we're still married. What is the reason? "

Liu Huabin glanced at Yuan: "Ask her!"

Yuan glanced at Liu Huabin: "Let's ask him!"

Liu Aineng: "Forget it, let's answer it together."

Liu Huabin and Yuan stood up and said in unison, "Resist righteousness-tomorrow-divorce-get married!"

30 1 Room Liu Aineng Bedroom 〓〓 Night.

Liu Aineng: "Last week, you hit your mother. Why is your mother crying and throwing things? "

Liu Huabin: "This shows that war will not only bring pain to mankind, but also hurt the innocent."

Liu Aineng: "How did mom go to grandma's house after the quarrel?"

Liu Huabin: "In order to escape the war, seek political asylum."

Liu Aineng: "My uncle sent my mother back. How can you be kind to me and make amends? "

Liu Huabin looked up at the ceiling and sighed: "One is to calm the war, and the other is to prepare for the peace talks."

Liu Aineng: "What are you laughing at if mom doesn't leave?"

Liu Huabin touched Liu Aineng's head: "The war is over and the world is peaceful. Little fool ... "

Liu Aineng: "What does Dad mean by' VIP' No.5'?"

Liu Huabin: "That's the code name used by underground workers."

Liu Aineng: "Are you and your mother also underground workers?"

Liu Huabin: "Nonsense!"

Liu Aineng: "Then why do you call your mother thirteen o'clock and your mother calls you two hundred and fifty?"

〓〓〓 Liu Ju bedroom 30 1 room at night.

Liu Ju: "Mom, I don't understand why you are always dissatisfied with your father." You know, he gave you all the money he earned, leaving nothing behind. "

Yuan: "I paid all the money I earned, and later he won all my money back with his card."

Liu Ju: "First-class women dominate the family; Second-class women quarrel at home; Third-class woman, beaten at home; A fourth-class woman committed suicide with anger. Mom, I think you belong to a second-class or third-class woman. "

Yuan sighed: "The first-class beauty crossed the ocean, the second-class beauty went to Shenzhen, the third-class beauty stayed in Shanghai, the fourth-class beauty waited in the country, and the fifth-class beauty was sent to labor reform. Well, choose with your eyes open and live with your eyes closed. Old sins create new shame. Marry a chicken with a chicken, a dog with a dog, and a monkey all over the mountain. Since I followed your father, my mother has to accept her fate. "

Liu Ju asked curiously, "Mom, what is the meaning of home?"

Yuan said thoughtfully, "Home is the person you marry, who works together during the day and sleeps in the same bed at night for ten or twenty years, until his hair is white and his face is wrinkled."

Liu Ju: "Mom, if I get married in the future, will I have a husband like my father?"

Yuan Xiaoxiao: "Yes."

Liu Ju: "If I don't get married, will I become an old girl like Aunt Dawn?"

Yuan said positively, "Yes."

Liu Ju: "Mom, I think it's really hard for us women to survive?"

Yuan: "For unmarried people, most of them are blank sheets of paper. When they have experience, they find themselves trapped, so it is more difficult to be' accurate' in marriage than to hoard goods. The success or failure of marriage depends partly on skill and partly on luck. It is also common to expect a docile kitten to exchange for a fierce German shepherd. A person can only occupy a small part of his lover's life. Even if you are lucky enough to occupy a large part, learn to tolerate those parts of your lover that have no body. "

Liu Ju gave a cry and accidentally broke the vase on the bed.

Yuan Xiaofen raised his hand in exasperation and slapped Liu Ju.

Liu Ju stupidly froze.

Yuan said sadly, "Juer, does it hurt?"

Liu Ju: "It doesn't matter. But if you hit me in the mouth, according to the public security regulations, 50 yuan will be fined for hitting someone. Take out the money quickly. I am still waiting for money to compensate my classmates. "