Jokes about China New Year.

In ancient times, when the whole family got together for couplets, one family was very superstitious and wanted to make good luck in everything. On New Year's Eve, my father's two sons discussed and said, "Put up a new Spring Festival couplets in the class. Now let's each say a few auspicious words and make a pair of Spring Festival couplets. " The two sons nodded in agreement. Father stroked his beard and read, "What a good year!" The eldest son thought about it and read, "Less bad luck." The second son then read: "No lawsuit!" Everyone was full of praise after reading it, so my father wrote a long article without punctuation and posted it in the middle of the room. The next day, the neighbors came to pay New Year's greetings. As soon as I entered the door, I saw the Spring Festival couplets and read aloud: "This year is so unlucky, I have to go to court!" Going home for the New Year, the couple just got married for a year and are going home for the New Year near the Spring Festival. Husband and mother are in the countryside, and wife and parents are in the city. The young couple are more enthusiastic about who to go back to for the Spring Festival. My husband said, "My mother worked hard to send me to college, and now she has a family and a career. In the first year, she will come back to my house to make the old people happy. " The wife said, "I am an only child. I stay with my parents every 30 years, and this year is no exception. " The two men are intransigent. Seeing that there are only a few days before the Spring Festival, the couple began to purchase their own new year's goods to take home. When he left, the husband pointed to his wife's nose and said, "Wait for me!" " Not to be outdone, the wife replied, "Wait, I'll get even with you after the holiday!" " ! ""Dave caught fire and got on the train alone. The next day, my wife gambled and got on the long-distance bus. Go home. The husband went to his wife's house, and the wife went to her husband's house. Ji Xiaolan released the Spring Festival couplets of Ji Xiaolan, a college student in Qing Dynasty. On one occasion, he went home to visit relatives during the Spring Festival, and three brothers in the village asked him to write Spring Festival couplets. He wrote a pair of Spring Festival couplets that were "earth-shattering, one of the best in the family" and "acting first". This is a terrible mistake. He was accused of cheating the monarch in the name of "offending". When Emperor Qianlong learned of this incident, he immediately called Ji Xiaolan back to Beijing to ask. Ji Xiaolan replied, "I wrote Spring Festival couplets correctly! Isn't this boss selling firecrackers an "earth-shattering portal"? The second child is in charge of the fair fight. Isn't screaming all day one of the best families? The third is to sell roast chicken, isn't it' cut first and then play'? " The words were dry, and the dragon smiled. Jie Jin likes Jie Jin in Spring Festival couplets since he was a child. This year's Spring Festival, he posted a pair of Spring Festival couplets at the back door: "The door is against a thousand bamboo poles, and the family hides thousands of books." The staff across the hall was very unhappy, thinking that only a family like me deserved to post this couplet, so they ordered the servants to cut down the bamboo. Soon, the family came to report that Jie Jin's Spring Festival couplets were changed to: "The door is as short as a thousand bamboo poles, and parents save thousands of books." Mr. Yuan was very angry after hearing this, and let people dig out the bamboo roots. Unexpectedly, Xie Jia's Spring Festival couplets were changed to: "The door is short of bamboo, and there is thousands of books at home." Rogues take the bus during the Spring Festival. A rogue takes a bus without paying the fare. Driver: [Sir, you didn't buy a ticket] Rogue: [Today is New Year's Day] (this is a special treatment for the New Year) Driver: [I'm going to buy a ticket for the New Year] Rogue: [I have no money] Driver (I'm furious): [I have no money, so I'll get off] Rogue: [But today is New Year's Day, it's convenient for you] Driver: [Take a bus for the New Year]