Don't eat by yourself: 33 personal rules to create opportunities, connect communities and turn passers-by into nobles

"Successful people = people you meet+things you create together", the people we know, the friends we make and our connections largely determine whether we will succeed. Mastering personal connections is the key to mastering your own success.

Keith Ferrari and Tal Raz, two authors of Don't Dine Alone, put forward many practical suggestions to help them break into key relationships, build their own networks and let them know the people they want to know.

The hardest thing about the internet is that sometimes we want to start with strangers. We want to meet new people and make full preparations for it, but we should start with people we already know, that is, friends of your friends. Lock in good friends first, and then get to know their friends. At the same time, this matter should start from usual. Don't wait until you are alone to find that no one can help you.

Don't be an idiot looking for a relationship. Many people think that issuing business cards is a way to expand contacts, but this way of expanding contacts is not only ineffective, but also wastes a lot of time. In the book, Keith Ferrari and Talraz put forward six suggestions. Don't make yourself an idiot who can only climb relationships.

1. Don't talk nonsense.

When chatting, you should make people feel sincere, not just chatting. Learning to talk sincerely is always better than chatting.

2. Don't always gossip

Gossip will never end, but if you just gossip for a long time, when everyone thinks you are a gossip, you also lose the trust of others.

Don't invest empty-handed.

To expand your contacts, you must have something first. You must be a valuable person before others will want to know you. You must create your own value and make others want to know you, not just talk about it.

Don't be too mean to the people below.

Always be sincere to others. If you are in charge, don't be too mean to the people below, or one day you fail and the people below will start hitting people when they are down.

5. Be open and transparent.

Expanding contacts is based on the principle of "the city is open to the outside world". Only by being open and transparent can we build a deep relationship with people.

6. Don't be too efficient

Don't be too efficient, don't be perfunctory to save time. What you need to expand your contacts is to show your sincerity. It is important to establish a trustworthy relationship with people. If you just send a lot of emails, it will not help you to expand your contacts.

Don't eat by yourself to expand your contacts. The most important thing is to improve your popularity, fill your itinerary, participate in various interpersonal networks, and actively improve your popularity. The key to expanding contacts is not to make yourself disappear, but to make yourself often appear in front of everyone.

Keep an eye on the people you come into contact with and become strangers? Many people we met at first didn't meet later because there was no "follow-up". Follow-up is more important than taking the initiative to understand others in the first half. When you first meet a stranger, you'd better take the initiative to contact each other within the next 24 hours, so that they can remember your name. If there is no "follow-up", the other party is likely to forget you the next day.

Keith Ferrari and Tal Raz put forward some points that should be paid attention to in the follow-up tracking process.

1. Thank you very much.

2. Be sure to include a point of interest, a joke or something that both parties find humorous when they meet or talk.

3. Reaffirm all the promises made by each other.

4. Be concise.

5. The thank-you note must include the other person's name.

6. Use email and regular mail, and the combination of the two will increase more personal feelings.

7. After sending an email, send an invitation to make friends on social networking sites.

8. immediacy is the key. Send it as soon as possible after meeting or meeting.

9. Many people wait until the holidays to thank or contact. Why wait? The more immediate and appropriate the follow-up, the more the other party will remember you.

10. Don't forget the middleman, let the person who helped you contact know how you met later, and thank him for his intermediary.

Know many people. Know many people. They can always contact the people they want to contact. Chis Ferrari and Tal Raz pointed out that the common well-connected people are restaurant operators, human intermediaries, lobbyists, fund-raisers, public relations personnel, politicians, journalists, writers, bloggers, masters and so on.

Try to connect your personal network with them. The six-degree separation theory points out that if you want to know anyone in the world through six people, the reason lies in the existence of people with wide connections. In other words, if you can get into the circle of friends of well-connected people, it will be very helpful to your personal network.

Five tips for expanding your network. In the book, Keith Ferrari and Talraz put forward five suggestions to expand your network.

1. Sincerely interested in others.

2. Listen attentively and encourage each other to talk more about themselves.

3. Try to let the other person express it.

4. Discuss what the other person is interested in

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About the author:

Keith. Keith Ferrazzi is the founder and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight, and his articles are often published in Inc, The Wall Street Journal and Harvard Business Review. He used to be the marketing director of Deloitte Consulting, the marketing director of Starwood Hotels and Resorts and the CEO of Yaya Media, and now lives in Los Angeles and new york.