Who knows some proverbs, two-part allegorical sayings, humorous stories, jokes, hints and advertising words?

Adou's Jiangshan-giving away Adou-style figures for nothing-can't play the role of Ah Er blowing sheng-no one dares to invite Ah Er to play in the streets-play like brothers to eat noodles-grab an old grandmother and grow a beard-it's not normal to pour tea-it's watertight; Don't miss the whip and stick-the dog who eats soft but doesn't eat hard bites the chicken-the turtle who takes it out on others-the duck who shrinks its neck and gets stabbed-the dog who runs around and gets slapped apologizes-the dog who flatters the stick-the fat pig who runs around and gets stabbed-the ball that is not afraid of scalding water and getting stabbed-the flat dog's tail grass frosts-the dwarf fart-the humble dwarf sightseeing- Take the short and take the long to climb the stairs-eager to climb the mountain-step by step; Climbing up the short woman step by step-watching the short man riding a big horse-is in a dilemma; The dwarf is going to heaven-I don't know how small he is; Delusion; The wishful thinking of a short man sitting on a high stool-out of reach; Up and down out of reach; It is difficult to be a hero in a lawsuit-the poor and quarrelsome wooden fish in Antangli-playing quail and eating the fruit on the tree, no one can reach it; Think of good things; It is futile to watch people drown on the shore-fishing for the moon on the shore of farewell; It is impossible to buy shoes according to other people's feet for nothing-beggars who copy the colored balls mechanically-they are so happy that they take medicine according to the prescription-they peck rice according to the head of a chicken-they try their best to drink water according to the head of a cow. I can't do it. I pressed the gourd and lifted the ladle-I held this end and lost that end; One by one, the top door of the chopping board-the rolling pin on the chopping board-the meat on the chopping board-was slaughtered; Killing the fish on the chopping board with people-sneaking around with a knife-secretly boxing-blindly punching a needle in a dark room-making a discovery ambushes sadly-burning lamp oil painfully-burning the ice on the dice-melting the pancakes on the dice-tossing and turning 800. I'm not sure, eight-inch feet wear seven-inch shoes, and the awkward little hanging jar can't hold a stone myna pecking at persimmons, picking the soft ones to bully eight old men to practice their fists, repeatedly applying for eight-dollar plasters, buying a bowl of wonton with eight dollars, sitting on a table without eight crooked necks, and no one looked at the format of stereotyped writing. It's hard to find a way out. Eight engineering skills-Excellence. Eight-level masters learn skills-getting old and learning that the old star anise falls into the cesspit-whether it smells good or not; The smelly turtle swallowed a big weight-the cruel old turtle swallowed a weight-the cruel bastard got the first place in the exam-the rules (turtle lift) were not small-eighty people carried the sedan chair-eighty old men were so bad that they shook their heads that they felt sick-no way; You can't let an 80-year-old man blow the lamp-you can't breathe; Out of breath, octogenarians practice pipa-a cliche (playing)-octogenarians learn boxing-the more they practice, the stronger they get-octogenarians learn crafts-octogenarians are eager to work hard-octogenarians refuse to accept the burden-octogenarians are willing but can't grow beards-octogenarians learn to play the flute-octogenarians learn to play actors at the age of 80 Standing at the counter at the age of 80-the Eighth Five-Year Plan always shoots rabbits-is not worth the candle-the party of the Eight Immortals-the table of the Eight Immortals is missing a leg-the uneven table of the Eight Immortals-the angular table of the Eight Immortals-it is difficult to invite them. Sweet-scented osmanthus blossoms in August-the cucumber shed smells fragrant in August-it's still early to eat New Year's Eve on August 15th-it's still early to eat Yuanxiao on August 15th-it's different to eat zongzi on August 15th-it's not the time to eat moon cakes-everyone is happy; Everyone loves it; There is a moon up and down on August 15-it is the same every year; Steamed rice cakes on August 15th-Fifteen kinds of peanuts are early in August (dates)-Eight-legged crabs are bossing around-people are missing-no eyebrows; Far from it; This is far from a slap in the face and a sore spot-patting your shoes is not feasible; Can't walk on pancakes-smart; Skilled toad-a bored temple with walls-panicked plantain stuck in an old tree-careless plantain blossomed-a heart; Closely connected banana leaves build a bird's nest-the good times don't last long, and the eyes are sore-bad enough to pull out the grass and attract the snake-asking for it; Asking for trouble to eat sea pepper with onions-more spicy and jointing sorghum than one crop-is getting higher and higher; The wave drum-an alarm clock with lights on both sides-specifically reminds people to pull radishes-holes are pulling radishes and planting onions-one crop is hotter than the other.

Life should be like a candle, burning from the top to the end, always bright. Xiao Chunv? The value of life is measured by what people are doing now. -Xu Wei? The road is trodden by people, and the history is written by people. Every move of mankind is writing its own history. -Ji Hongchang? Silkworms in spring will weave until they die, and people will never stop waiting. There is still work to be done. Make it a good category for young people. -Wu? I hope I don't feel guilty about life every time I recall it. -Guo Xiaochuan replied, adding.

Unusual elevator: Every holiday, students go to karaoke to celebrate. 65438+February 3 1 99, the big day at the end of the Japanese century, we went to karaoke successfully and counted down together. By three o'clock in the morning, everyone left the room-returning enterprise with a little drunkenness. Koizumi took a bus all night to the bus stop on the other side, and the bus to the back door was closer. I took a taxi with the brigade from the front door. It was already four o'clock when I returned to the housing enterprise, and suddenly I received a call from Koizumi. As soon as she entered the elevator from the back door, she saw three men inside. When she saw the word G, she pressed the button and closed the door. When the elevator landed, he came out first, but the three men followed, and he was just surprised. He was afraid to find Zuo Ye in the karaoke, so he turned and took it back to the elevator to get it. I saw those three people still in the elevator. Koizumi was surprised at first, but if it was leaked to Zuo Ye, he couldn't stand it, so he had to rush in. After Koizumi took it, he went to the back door and took the elevator. As soon as the elevator door opened, alas! It's those three people again. He never left the elevator! Koizumi was blue with fear and asked him in horror, "What are you doing?" "He actually gave a suffocating answer:" We landed in the house. When he fell to the ground, Koizumi ran out as soon as he opened the door, but he felt that the elevator door was still buried. At this time, she gossiped and turned to see that three men had fallen into the nakedness. They really fell into hell, and Zhong grinned at her. He got down on his knees in fear, so he jumped into the taxi at once and walked quickly. Answer supplement

Too wronged: there is a girl named Xiao Rong who lives in a residential building next to the square. I don't know when she was attracted by a young policeman patrolling the square. When she was free, she stared at the figure in police uniform by the window, but she didn't have the courage to confess. A friend knew what she was thinking and gave her an idea: "Xiao Rong, take some silk handkerchiefs to meet him." When you walk up to him, pretend to leave your handkerchief on the ground. If he bends down to pick it up, you can take the opportunity to give him one. " If he is interested in you, he will definitely bring his handkerchief. You can make a handkerchief-based story! "Xiao Rong think this method is good, readily adopted. After work that day, she wrapped some silk handkerchiefs into a big square and held them in her hand. She walked back and forth in the square five times. Finally, the figure of a young policeman appeared and walked towards her. Looking at the police getting closer and closer to her, Xiao Rong's heart was pounding. 5, 4, 3, 2 ... She calculated the time and quietly pulled the mechanism. Suddenly, the square towel and handkerchief fell to the ground together. The young policeman walked up to Xiao Rong, looked at her, looked at the silk scarf on the ground, and then said seriously, "Miss, I have been paying attention to you for a long time. Please don't set up a stall here! "Answer added.

The teacher of the affirmative kindergarten asked her students, "Who can make sentences with the word' affirmative'?" The first little girl said, "The sky must be blue." The teacher said, "But sometimes the sky is gray or orange!" " The second little boy said, "The tree must be green." The teacher said, "But in autumn, the trees will turn brown." At this time, Chu Xiangyang in the back row stood up and asked, "Teacher, does fart have color?" The teacher said in surprise, "Of course not!" "Well, I must have pooped my pants!" Chu Xiangyang: I failed the arithmetic exam today. Dad: Why? Chu Yangxiang: The teacher asked me what 2×3 was, and I said 6. Dad: That's right! Chu Xiang Yang: The teacher asked me how much 3x2 equals. Dad: What the fuck's the difference! Chu Xiang Yang: That's what I said. Answer supplement

First, the use of antithetical sentences in the form of antithetical sentences is the most commonly used method in compiling tips, such as "exhaled smoke is harmful to people; Inhale poison, harm yourself, sit on the ground and complain, wipe the white wall with your hands, go out happily and go home safely, take away the knowledge, leave a good book, take away the poetry book without regret, and burn a cigarette and half a mouthful of phlegm to humiliate sven. This prompt is rhythmic, catchy to read, harmonious and pleasing to the ear, giving people a sense of beauty and easy to remember. Secondly, the concept of pun is to give words several different meanings by using homophonic and homophonic meanings, thus obtaining intriguing effects. For example, the public toilet prompts "come in a hurry, go in a hurry", which means elegance and makes the toilet users smile, and the effect is good. There are two tips for saving water: "cherish me and start from bit by bit!" """Cherish the source of life, turn off bit by bit, and make good use of homophonic puns, which profoundly explains the connotation of water saving: to turn off bit by bit and start from bit by bit. Another example is a lawn sign that says "grass is alive, please leave' green' under the first step", and the police call you "first step", please leave green (kindness) under your feet. How do you think the grass can stand it? Using puns as hints can increase the level and richness of expression, and the meaning of words is shallow and easy to remember, which is an effective creative skill. Answer supplement

1. More lubrication and less friction (unified lubricating oil) 2. My site listens to me (China Mobile Communication M-Zone) 3. I like McDonald's. As long as you want (Lenovo) 5. Passat, Achieving Tomorrow (Passat Series) 6. Different tastes and different moods (Mengniu mood second milk)