Seeking novels. Ask for funny jokes, within 70 words! Thank you, I have too many text messages.

2. During the lecture, the zipper of the female teacher's pants opened, and a girl stood up to remind: Teacher, your door was not closed! The teacher waved his hand: whatever, the director of education will come to inspect it later.

3. Early in the morning on the second day of the wedding, the bride walked out of the bridal chamber in pain, holding the wall with one hand and covering her nakedness with the other, cursing:

Liar! What a liar! Before I got married, I said I had thirty years' savings. I thought it was money!

In the shade of the hospital, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and went over to the man and said, "You are so confused. You should put her flat on the ground for artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it. "

A man and a woman are making out. The man tried hard, but the woman didn't respond. The man asked angrily, "can't you respond a little?" Can't even call the bed! "The woman immediately shouted," Sleep! ! Bed! ! "

6. The father took his son to take a bath, and the ground was slippery. When the son was about to slip, he grabbed his father's genitals and didn't fall.

Father scolds: Shit! It's a good thing that you came with me. You must come with your mother to kill you.

When the emperor saw the sad face of his concubine, he called a doctor. The doctor prescribed a prescription after consultation: eight strong men! The emperor was on patrol outside, and when he returned to the palace, he saw the princess radiant, and there were eight thin people kneeling in front of the temple. Emperor: Who is kneeling? Doctor: Slag!

9. The girl bought bananas, put them in her back pocket after getting on the bus, and reached out to catch them from time to time. After a while, a young man patted her on the shoulder: miss, please make way, I'm getting off.

10. The Minister of Family Planning went to the countryside for a census and asked the old farmer: Do you know why close relatives can't get married? L the old farmer replied with a simple and honest smile: relatives, hehehehehehehehehehehehe ... hehehe, too familiar, not easy to start!

1 1. The ant and the centipede got married. After the wedding night, he asked the ant what he thought. The ant said angrily, it's not like pulling one leg, it's not like pulling the other leg ... damn it, I was joking all night!

13. the staff of the family planning office went to a mountain village to inspect the work. When they found that the super-life was very serious, they asked their fellow villagers, "Why is the super-life here so serious?" The fellow villager replied, "There is no electricity". "If there is no electricity, it will be super-life!" The official said angrily. Without electricity, there is nothing to do. "Nothing to do?" The official looked puzzled. "Do it if you have nothing to do."

15. One day, a couple just got married. The captain sent a couplet, the first part: new people, new wells, new drills. Downward: The deeper you drill, the more oil you produce. Horizontal batch: the brighter ... the looser. Read the words separately.

16. Shandong is literate. The teacher wrote "Day" and "Day" on the blackboard and said: One day is one day. An old farmer said, Teacher, what you said is wrong. One day is fine, but not one day.

18. A peasant woman just went to town as a nanny. When she made the bed for her master, she found that she used a condom. I didn't know what it was, so she asked her hostess.

The hostess asked, don't you have sex? The peasant woman replied, yes, but not as crazy as you. Are peeling off.

1, a patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, cucumber and watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

One day you won an award, and you can travel by air for free. Sadness: The plane crashed. Hi: There are parachutes. Sadness: I can't open it. Hi: There are haystacks on the ground. Sadness: There is an iron fork on it. Hi: I didn't fall on the fork. Sadness: I didn't fall on the haystack either. . .

3. Know what I'm thinking? Miss you! Do you know why I miss you? Love You! Do you know why I love you? It smells! Do you know what you smell? The smell of vermicelli stew is fascinating!

4. "Xiao Ming, who did you hold yesterday afternoon? Your girlfriend, right? " "Your sister! ! ! My sister! ! "-Q: Who is Xiao Ming holding?

The man said to the woman, "You are the wind, I am the sand, you are the toothpaste, I am the brush, you are the vine, I am the melon, you don't love me, I commit suicide."

The woman said to the man, "I am a fish, you are a shark, I am a flower, you are scum, I am a beauty, what are you?" You want to chase me, I'll kill myself. "

1, Bajie Huazhai is gone forever. One day, a man who looks like Bajie came from a distance. Wukong said it might be a demon, and Tang Priest said, Try sending a text message, or you will quit!

After dinner, the plump hostess said that she weighed only 98 Jin when she got married. Her husband smiled and said, "By the way, this is the only one of my investments that has made progress."

3. For you, I deleted my distractions, loaded my thoughts, pasted my thoughts, copied my thoughts, filled my delusions and filled my thoughts. 5.20 I love you has become my happiest talk, guarding you has become my most eager wish, and accompanying you has become my lifelong oath!

4. "When I was dying, I sat up and smiled." "When I looked back at Qian Fan, I smiled." "I laughed when the child said Sichuan." "I smiled when I cut the candle at the west window." "I smiled when the knife became a sharp knife."

5. Look at you. You didn't seize the opportunity to get rich. I didn't buy a house when the property market was on fire, and I didn't speculate when the stock market rose. Now I'm too old to sell meat!

Please believe me, this will never be a lie. I am sincere to you, but you don't understand. A person who loves you deeply understands how difficult it is to love you, but his infatuation will remain unchanged for life! Please look at the second word in each line. )

7. Right? Say: crow's feet are gone. Why don't you go to Korea for plastic surgery? The big pair can be said: we pair up, and then there is a moment to witness the "strange" traces; Lin said to Ma, Brother, does your program advertise?

8. If I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea and you were boiling water, would you soak me? If I were a car and you were a driver, would you drive me? If you are money and I am a passbook, I will definitely take yours.