Animal jokes children jokes

A man kept a pig. He was annoyed with it and wanted to throw it away, but the pig knew the way home and threw it many times without success. One day, the man abandoned the pig and took a bus. He called his wife that night and asked, "Does the pig return?" His wife said, "Go home." The man was very angry and shouted, "put it on the phone quickly, I'm lost."

There is no such clever donkey.

A wise man was walking in the country and saw a donkey grinding in a mill with a string of bells hanging around his neck. So the wise man said to the miller,

"Why do you want to hang a string of bells around the donkey's neck?"

The miller replied, "When I doze off, the donkey often slacks off. After hanging the bell, it doesn't ring. I know this beast is lazy again. "

The wise man thought for a moment and then asked, "If the donkey stays where he is,

Just shake your head and you can hear the bell, and it doesn't ring. What should I do? "

The miller was shocked and said, "Sir, how can I buy a donkey as smart as you!" " "

Three turtles

Three turtles came to a restaurant and asked for three cakes. As soon as things were served, they found that there was no money.

The tortoise said: I am the oldest, of course, I don't have to go back to withdraw money.

The tortoise said: it is most suitable to send a small tortoise.

The little turtle said, I can go back and get the money, but after I leave, none of you can touch my cake! The tortoise and the tortoise promised, and the little tortoise left.

Because their bellies were empty, the tortoise quickly ate up his cake. However, the little turtle has been missing for a long time. On the third day, the tortoise was so hungry that they all said, let's eat the tortoise's share.

Just as they were about to start eating, the little turtle's voice came from next door: "If you dare to touch my cake, I won't go back to get the money!" " "

Mosquito's suicide note

When I woke up in the morning, there was a dead mosquito lying beside your pillow, and there was a suicide note next to it: I struggled all night, but I couldn't pierce your face. Too thick, I have no face to live in this world, Lord! Please forgive him, I killed myself.

Magic frog

A magical frog jumped into the forest happily. When he entered the forest, he saw a bear chasing a rabbit. The frog stepped forward and said, "Stop, stop! You are the animals I saw after practicing magic, and I will fulfill your three wishes! "

This bear is greedy. He said, "I'll go first! I want all the bears in this forest to become females except me! " When! Bear's wish has come true.

The rabbit said, "I want a helmet." When! The rabbit's wish has also come true.

The bear said his second wish: "once again, I want all the bears in the nearby forest to become females except me!" " "When! As it wishes.

The rabbit said quietly, "I want a motorcycle." The frog wants to know why the rabbit doesn't directly ask for money to buy a motorcycle. Anyway, the frog promised to give the rabbit a motorcycle.

The bear finally said excitedly, "Haha! My third wish is that all bears in the world, except me, become females! " When! The wish has come true. I saw the rabbit put on his helmet, started the motorcycle and said his last wish: "I hope that bear is gay!" " ! "

Whoever runs first wins.

The rooster in a chicken farm was a little old, so the farmer decided to buy a new rooster to breed. The little cock bought it and proudly saw the old breeder.

The old chicken said, "I know you look down on me." Remember, everyone is young.

How about we have a game today? If you win, see? ",the husband chicken pointed to the little hen in the yard," it's all yours ". The rooster has an answer and asks, "How to run? "The old chicken said," Run 20 times around the house, and whoever runs first will win. "

Only two or three laps after the start, the rooster was ahead by half a lap. On the eighth lap, the little cock is only two meters away from the old cock. Just then, the old chicken screamed, and the owner of the house thought that the weasel was coming and rushed out of the house with a shotgun. I saw the new rooster chasing the old rooster. The master was so angry that he raised his gun and killed the rooster. Growling, the host came into the room and said to himself, "What a fucking misfortune. Why are all the cocks bought gay? " Killed four! "