Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - These sharp and interesting answers can make you laugh for a year.

These sharp and interesting answers can make you laugh for a year.

Foreword: I really want to hit him with such a reply.

0 1

"What if boyfriends often don't return messages?"

"I suggest you change me, and I will reply soon."

Train K is an "express" and train T is an "express". What does z mean?

"thieves are quick"

"We used to be so close that I was finally told of his death."

"What? Do you want him to tell you his death himself? "

"You don't see me!"

"Who? Who's talking?

"You keyboard man can do it if he has the ability, try not to bb!"

"Can you still use bb if you can beat it?"

"Why do I have to play with my mobile phone when I go to the toilet?"

"Don't play with your mobile phone?"

"What was the most exciting note you received?"

" AABCD DDCBA ABDDA CCBAD "

"What was the last time you experienced death?"

"Twenty years ago, I almost let the sperm behind me catch up."

"Why do you usually choose to show love at noon?"

"Because sooner or later will be retribution ..."

"Attendant: What can I do for you, sir?"

"Can you help me pay?"

1 1

I want to give you the whole world.

"Then you can fix it."

When I got zero in the exam, I shouted, "God, what did I do wrong?"

The deskmate replied coldly, "All your questions are wrong."

"Why did women in the past bind their feet?"

"Afraid of them going shopping"

"Why do boys only wear a pair of underwear at home?"

"Or how many?"

Boy: "May I try your lipstick?"

The girl took out a lipstick from her bag with trembling hands and said, "You are a little stuttering. This one is very expensive today."

"What behaviors of boyfriends and heterosexual friends make you unbearable?"

"alive"

"How to hook up with a girl studying medicine?"

"Just say you are ill."

"How can you refuse to be chased?"

"On-site makeup removal"

"Why don't you give me back the money you lent me?"

"Why should I repay the money I borrowed myself?"

How to implicitly express that you have been bought?

"Imperial army let me take a message for you ..."

2 1

Is there a sentence that made you cry at first sight?

99.99% 0KB/ s

Why not make a metal toothpick?

Isn't that a needle? ...

"How much does your husband and wife earn every month?"

"My monthly income is 10,000, and with my wife, I can reach 2,000."

"Why do all icons shake when iphone removes software?"

"Afraid."

"What is the coldest joke you have ever heard?"

"Once upon a time there was a child named Xiao Ming. Xiao Ming didn't hear it. "

Super sharp talk about comments, god replies to jokes, and comments reply to jokes.

Guide: What should I do if I see my friends in space or friends circle and want to comment but I don't know what to reply? If you want to attract everyone's attention, then read the reply to this article! Make your comments absolutely funny!

4. I'm here. Now that I'm here, I have something to say! Just a few words! If I don't say something! Sorry, since I have to say something! Then you must speak ~ so I decided that a few words might change everything! Maybe what I said won't change anything! But! Even if I say a few words, nothing will change! But I still want to say something I want to say! If I don't say what I want to say! Then, what I wanted to say came without saying it ~ ~ First of all, I'm sorry for not saying what I wanted to say! Actually, I won't say these words! What a waste of what I said above! Finally, I summed it up! ! ! I'm just saying.

6. Why are condoms frequently stolen in small shops? Why are the underpants in nursing homes being fistula by black hands? Why do thousands of donkeys scream at midnight? Who did the serial rape of pigs? Is it a person or a ghost who knocks at the door every night? What is hidden behind the unexpected pregnancy of hundreds of mummies? Is it the distortion of human nature or moral decay behind all this? Is it a hormonal explosion or despair? Pay close attention to tonight's 25: 00 annual dedication to "the point of no return of a generation of erotic xxx". Let's follow the camera into his inner world!

On behalf of China Psychic Research Center, I solemnly say: I'm sorry! Because of our negligence in work, LZ ran away again and again, causing a lot of unnecessary trouble to the society. I personally apologize. Our hospital has been paying close attention to the condition of LZ. Although the current state of LZ is not very stable, it may attack at any time, but as long as there is one percent hope, we will do our best! We have confidence, perseverance and determination to treat and help LZ get rid of the disease. At the same time, we also hope that people from all walks of life will actively cooperate with our work and create a harmonious society. Neuropathy is not terrible, we can't laugh at it or even insult it. We should care about them, take care of them, give them as much help as possible, and let them lead a normal life as soon as possible. Enjoy the sunshine and enjoy life!

8. Nowadays, women have lost their hair in their teens, so they are broken. By the age of 20, they don't know how many men they have fucked or how many husbands they have called, and they keep saying that they are virgins. For this kind of woman, I just want to say: please contact me!

9. Professional maintenance of nuclear submarines and reactors, renovation, polishing and waxing of nuclear warheads, recycling of second-hand aircraft carriers, cleaning of aircraft carrier fuel tanks, maintenance and replacement of three filters for space shuttles, cleaning of satellite surface dust by aerial work, wholesale of J-10, F22, F35 and B2 bombers, and various nuclear warheads, with large quantity and preferential treatment, receiving and delivery within three months, free maintenance within two years, and aircraft rearview mirrors. In addition, we undertake the business of train tire repair, custom-made mosquito eyes, ant belly making, etc., with formal invoices and three guarantees of quality, as well as a batch of new wild free-range Altman, which is pure natural and pollution-free, and a batch of untested wild Doraemon, and I want to buy it as soon as possible.

10, landlord, picking up ears in vain, cutting arteries and veins, so cute. The landlord, a white belly, hangs his head when he enters the needle, and his stomach is sticky with hydrochloric acid. Crawling is so cute. Landlord, in vain, locked in a cage, hanging his tail to do electric shock, so sad and depressed. The small landlord, in vain, pinched his left chest and right chest, cut his chest and laparotomy. Bleeding is so cute. The landlord, in vain, injected anesthetic and tied it up, cut the cecum and sewed it up, his eyes glazed over. It is really cute. The landlord gouged out his eyes for nothing, lifted him up, cut his bladder and cut his cerebellum. Dying is really cute. Landlord white white, tied hands and feet, whipped candles, electric batons. Wow, so cute! Small landowner, white, air enters the brachial vein, hitting left and right, and his eyes are so cute.

1 1, after reading your conversation sentence by sentence, I can't be calm and shocked for a long time! Why is there such a good talk! I have been online for many years, and I thought there would never be anything that moved me. I didn't expect to see such a wonderful speech today It was you who made me deeply understand a sentence, there is someone outside, and there is a day behind. Thank you! After reading this conversation, I didn't reply immediately, because I was afraid that my vulgar reply would defile the rare conversation resources in this space. But I answered anyway, because I felt that if I couldn't leave my footprints behind such a wonderful conversation, I wouldn't die with my eyes closed! How proud it is to be able to leave your footprints behind such a wonderful speech! Please forgive my selfishness! I know that no matter how gorgeous words are used to describe the wonderful degree of your speech, it is not enough and hypocritical, so I just want to say: your speech is great! I am willing to watch it all my life! This talk is novel in conception, unique in theme, clear in paragraphs, bizarre in plot, ups and downs, clear in main line, fascinating and straightforward, showing extraordinary literary skills. It can be said that the writing style is extraordinary and the classic sentence is a model that our generation should learn. From the perspective of novel art, this talk may not be very successful, but its experimental significance is far greater than success itself. As the saying goes: a Ma Benteng, shooting a bow, heaven and earth in my heart! It really deserves to be a new generation of pioneers without borders.

12, I saw you talking again, which made me worry about you: Are you finished with advanced mathematics? Can you pass CET-4 and CET-6? Do you have a life plan? Do your parents send you here to talk about it every day? Can you stand in the society in the future? Is it helpful for you to find a job smoothly? Can telling parents reassure them? Tell me if you can serve your country and repay your parents. Have you ever thought that you will struggle alone in the future, and the vortex of society will always involve you? Can you stand the competition in the jungle? If you don't study hard, how can you have a skill, how to highlight yourself, how to repay your parents without studying hard, and how to solve these problems? Can talking make life smooth sailing? A cruel society is beyond your resistance. Only by studying hard, enriching ourselves and perfecting ourselves can we be different and have the ability to die, understand?

13, well written. Your statement has no flowery language modification, but it has touched the readers with plain truth. The sentences are fluent, in one go, and the psychological description and detailed description are very successful, giving people a feeling of aftertaste! From the literary point of view, the novel materials, clear perspective, plain and elegant language, concise, can be called a model of modern talk about capital! This talk showed extraordinary literary skills in a plain way, which can be said to have reached a height that we can't reach. From an artistic point of view, this conversation needs to be improved, but its significance is far greater than success itself. As the saying goes: a Ma Benteng, shooting a bow, heaven and earth in my heart! Really worthy of being a new generation of founders without boundaries! After reading your article word for word, I can't be calm for a long time! How can there be such a clever speech in this world? I can't believe my eyes. Since the reform and opening-up, I thought that nothing could move me any more. I didn't expect to see such exquisite talk today. You made me deeply understand that sentence, there are people outside, and there are days behind. After reading it, I dare not reply easily. I'm afraid my rude words have defiled the rare talk in this world. But I did, because I felt it would be a lifelong regret if I couldn't leave my footprints behind such a wonderful speech. Please forgive my selfishness! No amount of flowery words can describe the wonderful degree of this speech, so I just want to say: please don't stop writing!

15, I have finished what you arranged for me. The child has miscarried, and she has just been taken out of the hospital. Found her a hotel to stay in. As a brother, I did everything. After all, she is your woman, and you are still responsible. She is in a bad mood now. Come and see her. I can't help it I won't answer your phone or text you. Seeing that you are still in the mood to talk, I can only leave a message here. That's all. Mind your own business.

16, you say it again here. The foreman has been looking for you everywhere and told you to hurry back to the construction site. There are still two trucks of cement to be unloaded. The foreman said that you 10 day's salary, you won't get a penny until you come back. And the village chief called me to tell you that widow Wang from the village next door came to your house to propose marriage and told you to go back to find her tomorrow when you got paid. Your nephew's DNA test results came back. Your nephew is not yours and your sister-in-law's. Aunt Zhang next door also sent a rough case to the village, saying that you can forget about peeking at her taking a bath five years ago and come back to the village with peace of mind.

Look at what you said about God's reply.

10, landlord, picking up ears in vain, cutting arteries and veins, so cute. The landlord, a white belly, hangs his head when he enters the needle, and his stomach is sticky with hydrochloric acid. Crawling is so cute. Landlord, in vain, locked in a cage, hanging his tail to do electric shock, so sad and depressed. The small landlord, in vain, pinched his left chest and right chest, cut his chest and laparotomy. Bleeding is so cute. The landlord, in vain, injected anesthetic and tied it up, cut the cecum and sewed it up, his eyes glazed over. It is really cute. The landlord gouged out his eyes for nothing, lifted him up, cut his bladder and cut his cerebellum. Dying is really cute. Landlord white white, tied hands and feet, whipped candles, electric batons. Wow, so cute! Small landowner, white, the air enters the brachial vein, hitting left and right, and his eyes are so cute.

Legendary reply

1, where is the private money hidden from my wife?

God replied: Donate it directly to the Red Cross, not to mention your wife, which can't be found all over the world ... 2. What is the longest project in China?

God replied: Project Hope. Only the beginning, not the end.

3. CCTV reporter interviewed a migrant worker on the street: What do you think of this year's New Deal against corruption?

Migrant workers reply: Do you mean that the previous years were all jokes? !

Today, I saw my friend's signature: If justice is needed, there are words. Don't understand, ask humbly.

God replied: yours is mine and mine is mine.

5. I once heard a saying: "The key point of getting along with my sister is: if she is not wet behind the ears, take her to see the prosperity of the world;" If her heart changes, take her to the carousel. "

God replied: the key to getting along with a man is: if he is the seed of love, you take off your clothes; If he reads countless people, you are by the fire …

6. Q: Prove in one sentence that you have seen Four Great Classical Novels.

God said: the strategist saved me, my sister saved me, my brother saved me, and Wukong saved me.

7. Q: "Let all 24 female guests turn off the lights in one sentence."

God replied, "I hope to find a virgin ..." The word "seat" was eaten alive when the light went out.

8. My wife went shopping and saw a lovely child. Then I looked at my husband and sighed. Say to your husband: if you give birth to a baby that looks like you in the future, it's over!

God replied: My husband paused and stared at his wife: "If you don't look like me, you are finished!"! ! ! "

9. Q: A student, with the lowest grade every year, often fights with others. According to the leader's request, the teacher wants to give students better final comments. How to write?

God replied: The student has stable grades and strong hands-on ability.

10, posting: "President Yamaki resigned due to rape"

Ask: "Who is this kind of beast who rapes even the door!"

1 1. Post: David's wife gave birth to a baby girl.

Ask: "Who is Tong Da? So powerful! "

12. Why do you pour blue water on sanitary napkin advertisements? Are women Smurfs?

God replied: using red water can easily lead to diplomatic disputes with Japan-! !

13, q: can lust be changed?

God replied: Dong Fangbubai had this problem before, but it didn't happen again.

14, q: isn't it hot for you women to wear bras in summer?

God replied: It will be very hot without you. ...

15. Why do children have the same surname as their fathers?

God replied: because the money spit out by ATM belongs to the cardholder!

16, q: "why does CCTV news always broadcast the clips they are packing?"

God replied, "to tell you the truth, we brag in the draft."