Whoever has a joke, the funnier the better!

1. A person always farts at work, and colleagues can't help but say, can you be quiet? Then I saw him sitting there trembling. Colleagues asked him what he was doing, and he replied, I am tuned to vibration now!

A gentleman was practicing riding a bike when a pedestrian came up to him. A gentleman panicked and shouted, "Stop! Stop! " The pedestrians stopped in a daze. But a gentleman rode so badly that he knocked down a pedestrian. Pedestrians got up and got angry: "You told me to stop! You have a good aim, don't you! "

Chatting with my boyfriend, speaking of rising, my saliva splashed all over his face. Then instinctively wipe it off by hand. I was a little embarrassed, but I deliberately shifted my focus and pretended to be angry: "What? Don't like me, "he said with a gentleman's smile. "No, wipe it evenly!"

Late at night, after the last shift, a bus is ready to send. The driver looked back and saw a lady in white sitting in the last row. The driver continued to drive and looked in the rearview mirror. The woman disappeared again, scared ~ ~ brake quickly. Looking back, she sat there again. The driver turned his head guiltily to continue driving and looked at the rearview mirror carefully. That woman is gone again. What a shock! Hurry and brake again. Looking back, the woman appeared again. Facing the collapse, the driver turned his head in a cold sweat and continued driving. The driver looked in the rearview mirror for the third time, and the woman disappeared again. The driver had collapsed. Another emergency stop, but she didn't turn her head away. At this time, the woman came slowly, her hair was messy and her face was covered with blood, dripping on his feet. The driver was stiff and didn't dare to turn to look at her. The woman said in a very low voice, "I have enemies with you!" " As soon as I squatted down to tie my shoelaces, you braked hard. As soon as I squatted down, you braked again. "

5. When I was in middle school, I fell in love with a beautiful woman in China Art Class. Although I know her, she has no chance to get close. For a long time, she could only watch from a distance. My deskmate and I have discussed many ways to approach beautiful women, but most of them are too shameless and few are feasible. Later, I came up with a simple idea, that is, I met her and took the initiative to strike up a conversation. The content of the conversation is: hey, what a coincidence, you are XXXX, too. The content of XXXX depends on the specific situation. For example, when we meet in the library, you say, hey, what a coincidence, you also come to the library. When you meet at the station, you say, hey, what a coincidence, you also take this bus. Then we can start talking.

With this in mind, I want to meet her every day. Finally one day: I came out of the toilet and saw her washing her hands by the pool. I was so excited that I quickly went over and turned on the tap to wash my hands. She smiled at me, and I said excitedly, hey, what a coincidence, did you pee on your hand, too?

6. His parents just started dating.

One day when I was shopping, my mother took a fancy to a down jacket, but when she saw the price, she took my father away.

He said, we can't afford it. Can't we try it?

His father forced his mother into the dressing room.

His mother changed, and when his father saw it, he took his mother and ran away, saying, run! While the clerk is away!

His mother is wearing that down jacket, and the label is floating outside. She was dragged out by her father and happened to pass a post. Her mother cried with a pillar in her arms.

His father turned around and said seriously, run! Are you waiting to be caught?

His mother cried even more.

Then his father smiled: Hahahaha ... I paid for the clothes when you went in.

Oh, shit! Japanese ~

A China man suddenly had loose bowels while visiting Britain. He ran into the public toilet and finally solved it. He came out triumphantly humming a song, only to find a large group of people looking at him in surprise. Only then did he realize that he had entered the ladies' room in a panic.

"What should I do? I can't make a fool of myself, but I can't embarrass the people of China. " He immediately put on a smile, bowed 90 degrees and shouted, "Sayonara, byebye~~~"

And walked away.

The crowd behind frowned and muttered in disgust: "Oh, shit ~ ~ ~ Japanese! ! ! "

One day, the priest was playing golf and the nun was watching.

Shen Fu shot and missed, cursing, "Damn, missed!" "

After the second shot, the Shenfu cursed: "Damn, it missed again!" "

A nun on the side said, "As a god, if you swear, you will be punished by God!" "

As soon as the voice fell, a flash of lightning killed a nun. The priest doubted whether I was a swearing person. Why did the nun die? "

Suddenly the voice of God came from the sky: "TMD, I also missed!" " "

The policeman pulled a man over and said to him, "Sir, please exhale into this alcohol meter."

The man said, "I have severe asthma." If I do this, I will have an attack. "

"Then, would you please come with me to the checkpoint for a blood test?"

"No, I have hemophilia. As long as I have a blood test, I will die of bleeding."

"Then do a urine test."

"I have diabetes. As long as you have a urine test, your blood sugar level will become very low. "

"Then please get off and take this white line."

"Officer, that won't do either."

"Why?"

"Because I was drunk."

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An ophthalmologist successfully cured the eye disease of a famous surrealist painter. When charging, the doctor said that he couldn't collect money, but he hoped that the painter would draw one for him, and the content would be chosen by the painter himself.

The painter thanked the doctor for curing his eye disease, so he drew a huge eye, drawing every detail, and drew a perfect portrait for the doctor in the center of the pupil.

When the ophthalmologist saw this painting, he was suddenly shocked by the artist's extraordinary artistic expression. His mouth opened wide in surprise, and it took him a long time to say, "Thank God, I'm not an anal surgeon.

Why is the sea blue?

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Fish can spit bubbles.

Blue blue blue blue blue blue blue.

Blue blue blue blue blue.

Blue blue blue.

Blue blue

blue

No, obviously I put three.

A man was drinking in a pub when he suddenly found two flies swimming in a glass. He demanded an explanation from the bar owner. The pub owner saw it and said, "No, I obviously let three flies go!" "

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