Don’t laugh at other people’s classical Chinese essays

1. Are there any jokes in classical Chinese?

Confucius was traveling eastward and saw two children arguing and asked him why.

Yi'er said: "I think that when the sun begins to rise, people are close, but when the sun is at midday, they are far away." "The time is near."

Yi'er said: "At the beginning of the day, it is as big as a car hood, and at the middle of the day, it is like a pan. Isn't this why the far one is small and the near one is big?"

One son said: "It's cool in Cang (cāng) at the beginning of the day, and it's like exploring the soup in the middle of the day. Isn't it hot for those who are near, and cool for those who are far away?"

Confucius couldn't decide.

The two children laughed and said: "Who (shú) knows more about you (rǔ)?"

[Edit this paragraph] Notes

Journey to the East: Travel to the East.

And: to.

Debate: Debate, fight for victory or defeat.

Therefore: reason, reason.

To: think, think.

Go to: distance.

Car hood: The car hood is used to keep out the sun and rain.

Midday: Noon.

And: to, to.

Then: Just.

Pan Yu: A container for holding things. The round one is called a plate, and the square one is called a bowl.

For: same as "predicate", say.

Cangcang Liangliang: refreshing and slightly chilly. Cangcang: means cold.

Exploring the soup: Put your hand into the hot water. It means the weather is hot.

Soup: hot water.

Jue: decision, judgment.

Who: Who.

Ru: You.

Zhi: Same as "wisdom" wisdom.

[Edit this paragraph] Translation

Confucius went to the East to study and saw two children arguing. 2. Are there any classical Chinese jokes?

Confucius traveled to the East. When you meet a man, you want to have fun with him, but he doesn't obey; you force him into the forest, take off his clothes and trousers, take out the contents of his bag, and throw him into the place where his soul disappears.

After everything was done, the woman said: What a beast!

Confucius said: A woman’s view.

Famous for reading

Che Yin Nang Ying studied, and Sun Kang Yingxue studied. One day, Kang went to pay homage to Yin, but he didn't meet him. When he asked where he was going, the doorman said, "I went out to catch fireflies." After that, Yin paid homage to Kang. When he saw Kang Xian standing in the court, he asked, "Why not?" Studying? "Kang said: "I

It doesn't look like it's snowing today." ——(Ming Dynasty) "Laughing Forest" compiled by Master Fubai

Selling cakes

There was a man selling cakes. His voice was very hoarse. When someone asked him why, he said, "I'm hungry." He also asked, "Since I'm hungry, why don't I eat cakes?"

He said: " "It's rotten" (both said in a low voice) - (Ming Dynasty) "Laughing Forest" compiled by Master Fubai 3. Who can tell two funny jokes in classical Chinese

Yi Qiu, Tong The country is well-behaved. (of)

Although one person listens to it, he thinks that a swan is coming, and he wants to help him with his bow and shoot it. (Yi Qiu's teachings) Zhi (Honghu)

Although Yi Qiu (the previous person) is the best chess player in the country, let Yi Qiu teach two people to play chess, and one person concentrates on it ( Concentrate your will), Zhi Yiqiu taught, while the other person listened, but he was thinking about the coming of the swan (originally a raw silk rope, here refers to the arrow tied with a silk rope for shooting birds) (arrived), and wanted to pull away the silk rope. To shoot swans with a bow that uses arrows to shoot birds, I learned it with the previous student, but I am not as good as the previous student (classical Chinese particle). Is it because of this that the latter student is not as smart as the former student? Mencius said: That's not the case.

Confucius traveled to the East and saw two children arguing on the way. Just ask them what they are debating.

A child said: "I think the sun is closer to people when it first rises, and farther away at noon.

"Another child thinks that the sun is far away from people when it first rises, and is close to people at noon.

The first child said: "When the sun first rises, it is as big as the hood of a car. Just like the mouth of a plate is as small as a bowl, doesn't it mean that things far away appear small and things close up appear large? "

Another child said: "It feels cool and cool when the sun first comes out, but at noon it is as hot as putting your hand into hot water (it also means that the weather is hot). It's hot, but does it feel cold when you're far away? "

After hearing this, Confucius couldn't tell who was right and who was wrong. The two children laughed and said, "Who said you know a lot? ”

Imitate sentences

The sunrise is as big as a car hood, and at midday it is as big as a pan.

The sunrise is as big as a (round wheel) and the sun The middle is like a (porcelain plate)

The sun comes out at the beginning of the day, it is cool and cool, and the middle of the day is like a soup

The sun comes out at the beginning of the day (cold and clear), and the middle of the day is like (burning)

Say the word first and then the meaning of the sentence

I go when the sun starts to rise and people are close

To (think, think) to go (away)

Is it wise or not?

For (is not) if (is not) if (such as)

Use vertical lines to draw the reading rhythm of the following sentences.

I use | the beginning of the day | the time of going out | to go to people who are near

This is not | those who are far away are small | and those who are near | are big

Thinking of aid | Gong Jiao | Er She Zhi "Liezi" is a collection of works written in the pre-Qin period. The content contains many folk stories, fables and myths and legends, such as Foolish Old Man Moves the Mountain, Jichang Learns Archery, etc. It has vivid images and profound meanings. Until now, it still has high literary significance and The meaning of thought.

"Liezi" is said to have been written by Lieyu Kou during the Warring States Period. ) man. He studied under Jinqiu Zilin (Ming Lin, a native of Zheng). He learned from Huangdi and Laozi. He liked to be quiet and did not interact with others. His teachings were "Zhuzheng", "Guixu" and "Zhuzheng". "That means accepting the Confucian theory of "correcting names", which requires the name and reality to be consistent; "guixu" is based on Taoist theory, advocating "nothingness", letting everything take its course, and not doing anything. Liezi wrote twenty chapters, each with a hundred thousand words, and today There are only eight chapters left, including those by Tianrui, Huangdi, King Mu of Zhou, Zhongni, Tangwen, Liming, Yangzhu, Shuofu, etc. The contents are mostly folk tales, fables and myths and legends. During the Tianbao period of the Tang Dynasty, the edict was titled Liezi. ” is the "Chongxu Zhenjing", one of the Taoist classics. 4. Are there any short jokes in classical Chinese?

The original text of the joke is that a scholar was about seventy years old, and suddenly he gave birth to a son.

He was born because of his age, so he gave birth to a son soon, who seemed to be able to study, and he was named learned. Giving birth is such a joke. ”

Because of its name, it is called “a joke.” "The three of them were old and had nothing to do. They all ordered to go into the mountains to collect firewood. When they returned, the husband asked: "Which of the three sons has more firewood? The wife said: "I have gained a lot of age, but I have no knowledge at all, but I am full of jokes." "

Translation: There was a scholar who was nearly seventy years old. His wife suddenly gave birth to a son. Because he was already old, he gave birth to a son, so he named him "Jiu". Soon after, another son was born. The son looked like a scholar, so he named him "Xuewen". In the third year, another son was born. The scholar smiled and said: "It's really cool that you can have a son at such an old age." joke. "So it was named "Joke".

When the three sons grew up and had nothing to do, the scholar asked them to go into the mountains to collect firewood. When they came back, the husband asked his wife: "Who among the three can collect firewood? many? The wife said: "I have gained a lot of age, but I have no knowledge at all, but I have a lot of jokes." "Yinding and avoiding the original text: There are snobbish people who must avoid being in trouble every time they go out.

A fellow traveler asked why, and he replied: "I gave up my relatives. " This happened so many times that people traveling with him got tired of it.

I met a beggar by chance and tried to evade him, saying, "I want to give up my relatives.

Asked: "Why do you want to marry me like this?" Said: "But the good ones are all recognized by you." "

Translation There was a vain man who, when he saw dignitaries passing by, he stayed away. People traveling with him asked him why he did this, and he said: "That's my relative. "

He did this many times, and every time he did this, the people traveling with him found it annoying. Later, suddenly he met a beggar on the road. The people traveling with him followed his example and hid aside, saying: "That beggar is a relative of mine. "

The vain person asked: "Why do you have such poor relatives? The person traveling with me said, "Because all the good things have been recognized by you." "Eating Olives" Original text A countryman went to the city to have a drink, and there were olives in the banquet.

The countrymen ate them, but they were astringent and tasteless, so they asked the people sitting at the table: "What is this?" The person sitting at the table, with his village spirit, said disdainfully: "It's vulgar." "The villagers named it "Su", so they remembered it and told people: "I tasted a strange thing in the city today, and I named it 'Su'. "

The crowd didn't believe it, so he opened his mouth and said, "You don't believe it, now you are full of vulgar words. " Translation: A farmer went to the city for a banquet, and there were olives in the banquet.

The farmer took it to his mouth and ate it. It was astringent and unpalatable, so he asked the people at the table: "What is this? The people at the same table thought he was vulgar and said contemptuously: "Vulgar." The farmer thought that "Cu" was the name of olives, so he kept it in his mind. After returning home, he said to people: "I ate a strange fruit in the city today, called 'Cu'." "

Everyone didn't believe it, so the farmer opened his mouth and said, "You don't believe it, now I'm full of vulgar words. "Mocking Funny Guests" Original text: A man invited a guest for lunch, but the guest had already finished a bowl, and there was no more food.

The guest wanted the host to know, so he pretended to say: "A certain family has a house for sale." So he turned the mouth of the bowl to the owner and said, "The rafters are also this big." "

When the host saw that there was no rice in the bowl, he hurriedly asked the boy to add more rice. Because he asked the guest, "How much does he want to be worth?" The guest said, "Now that I have food to eat, I won't sell it." "

Translation: A man invited a guest to have lunch. The guest had already finished his bowl, and no one helped him. The guest wanted the host to know, so he pretended to say: "A certain family has a house for sale.

Then he deliberately pointed the mouth of the bowl towards the owner and said, "The rafters are also as thick as the mouth of the bowl." "The master saw that there was no rice in the bowl and hurriedly called the servant to give him more rice.

Then he asked the guest: "How much did he sell it for? The guest replied: "Now that we have food to eat, we won't sell it." " Yuan Lie Original Text Some people are used to telling lies.

His servants are Yuan Zhi every generation. One day, he said to someone: "The well in my house was blown by the strong wind to the house next door yesterday. "

Everyone thought it had never happened before. Pu Yuanzhi said: "It does happen.

My well is close to the neighbor's fence. The wind was strong last night. I saw the fence blowing past the well, but it was like the well blowing to the neighbor's house. One day, he said to another person: "Someone shot a goose and put a bowl of rice soup on his head." "

The crowd was surprised again. Pu Yuan said: "This is also the case.

My master was eating noodle soup in the courtyard. Suddenly a goose fell down and its head fell into the bowl. Could it be that the goose was holding noodle soup on its head? "One day.

He also said to others: "The Han family has a warm sky tent, which covers the heaven and earth tightly without any gaps. The servant raised his eyebrows and said, "Master, how can I cover up this lie?" "

Translation There was a man who was used to telling lies, and his servants always lied for him. One day, he said to people: "A well in my house was blown by the strong wind to the house next door yesterday. "

Everyone thought that such a thing had never happened before. His servant justified his lie and said: "It is true that such a thing happened. My well is close to the neighbor's fence. It was windy last night. Blowing the fence to the well is like blowing the well to the neighbor's house. "

One day, he said to someone again: "Someone shot down a goose with a bowl of rice soup on his head. "Everyone was very surprised and didn't believe what he said.

His servant explained his lie again and said: "This happened too. My master was eating noodle soup in the courtyard. Suddenly, a goose fell down and its head happened to fall into the bowl. Isn't it a goose? "Powder soup on your head?" Another day, he said to others: "The Han family has a warm sky tent, which covers the sky and the earth tightly, without any gaps." The servant frowned in embarrassment after hearing this. Said: "Master has gone too far, telling such a big lie, how can I cover it up."

Original text of Lishui Xuetai A scholar's servant peed on the baby, and did not urinate for a long time. He was frightened and said: "The school is here." The doll immediately peed.

The scholar asked why and replied: "I saw you scholars were so frightened that they peed and pooped when they heard that they were dismounted. I know this." The scholar sighed and said, "I didn't expect that this baby could inherit his father's ambition. Keshao is scholarly; even more unexpected is that this school platform is good at benefiting from the water and can help with defecation."

Translation: A servant in a scholar's family held a baby to urinate, but the child did not urinate for a long time. The servant frightened him and said: "The school is coming."

The doll immediately peed. The scholar asked him why and replied: "I saw that you scholars were so frightened that they peed when they heard that the academy was coming, so I frightened him like this."

The scholar sighed and said, "I didn't expect this. The baby can inherit his father's ambition and continue his scholarly pursuit; let alone expect that this school is good at diuresis and can relieve urine and urination. "The scholar was afraid of the examination. When he heard that the school was dismounted, he became panicked and went to pick him up. 5. Humorous classical Chinese essays

Shishuoxinyu Xie Taifu Hanxue gathered in Beijing to discuss the meaning of literature with his children.

Suddenly it snowed suddenly, and the father-in-law said happily, "What does the white snow look like?" Hu'er, the brother, said, "The difference can be made by spreading salt in the air." The brother and daughter said, "It's not like catkins blowing up due to the wind."

"The public laughed happily. The catkins of spring are used as a metaphor for the white snow of winter... You are an old woman now that you are old. If I had not left you to take care of you, you would have to say no less than two or three sentences about me closing my eyes and taking a nap today.

Anger, those who take a nap are not just me, why should I point it out? What's more, I haven't lost my mind yet, so I am unjustly accused. What can you do? If they are really capable, why are there more than half of the students lying on the desk? There are at least six out of ten people who dislike you. Are you kind? The number can be seen.

I don’t blame you for the past, but what happened today is abominable and makes me angry. Mother, sincerely my mother is not happy.

Meat Stealing A certain person went to the capital to sell meat. He stopped to relieve himself in front of a toilet on the roadside and hung the meat outside. Seeing this, Person B quickly stole the meat.

Before he could go far, A had already walked out of the toilet, grabbed B, and asked B if he saw someone taking his meat from the toilet. Fearing that A would see through, B had already held the meat in his mouth, and said impatiently: "You are such a fool! How could you hang the meat outside the door without losing it? If you were like me, holding the meat in your mouth, how could you The Lost Principle?" - Wei Handan Chun's "Laughing Forest" Name Game Xu Zhicai, King of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, was very eloquent, especially good at word games.

Before he was crowned king, he tried to play with Wang Yuanjing, the minister of state. Wang Yuanjing laughed at Xu Zhicai's name and said: "Your name is 'Zhicai', what's the point? In my opinion, it's better to call it 'Wucai'."

After hearing this, Xu Zhicai was displeased. Annoyed, he immediately mocked Wang Yuanjing's surname: "The word '王', with the word '王' added to the left, becomes 'sheep'." "Wang Yuanjing was speechless after hearing this, feeling extremely embarrassed.

Another time, Xu Zhicai entertained guests, and Lu Yuanming was also present. During the dinner, Lu Yuanming teased Xu Zhicai's surname: "The character 'Xu' means Weiruren ("Wei" plus "彳" and "Ru")."

Xu Zhicai immediately mocked Yuanming's surname. Surname - "Lu" (traditional "Lu") character: "The character 'Lu', when An'ah Yinzhen gave birth to a boy, it becomes 'Lu' ()', and when paired with '马' (horse), it becomes 'Donkey' ( Donkey)." Lu Yuanming's words turned red and speechless, and everyone in the audience burst into laughter.

——The old title of Sui Dynasty Hou Bai's "Qi Yan Lu" Bird's Nest and Calf Hou Bai later became an official in the Tang Dynasty, and often guessed riddles with people. Hou Bai first made three chapters of rules for everyone: "What you guessed The object, firstly, must be a real thing that can be seen; secondly, it cannot be used as a false explanation to confuse everyone; thirdly, if the object cannot be seen after the explanation, you should be punished." Then he first revealed the riddle: "The back is the same as the house. Big, the belly is as big as the pillow (the crossbar on the back of the car), and the mouth is as big as a cup."

Everyone guessed for a long time, but no one guessed it right. They all said, "Where in the world is there a mouth as big as a cup?" But there must be something as big as a house? You have to make a bet with us all." After making the bet, Hou Bai explained: "This is a swallow's nest."

Everyone burst into laughter. Another time, Hou Bai attended a large banquet.

During the dinner, everyone asked him to make a riddle for fun. The guessed things should neither be strange and difficult to recognize nor abstract and unrealistic.

Hou Bai responded and said: "There is something as big as a dog and very much like a cow. What is it?" Everyone kept guessing. Some said it was a deer, some said it was a deer. But they were all rejected by everyone.

Then let Hou Bai tell the answer. Hou Bai laughed loudly and said: "This is a calf."

——Old title of Sui Dynasty Hou Bai's "Qi Yan Lu" He Zhizhang begged for Tianbao in the early years of Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty. He Zhizhang, a well-known secretary, supervised , wrote to the imperial court, wishing to retire and become an official and return to his hometown of Wuzhong. Xuanzong Li Longji respected him very much and treated him differently from others.

He Zhizhang couldn't help crying when he said goodbye to Tang Xuanzong before leaving. Tang Xuanzong asked him what else he wanted.

Zhizhang said: "I Zhizhang has a dog that has not yet been named. If your majesty gives it a name, it will be an honor for me to return home." p>

Qing's son should be named Fu. "Zhizhang expressed his gratitude for the appointment.

After a long time, Zhizhang realized something unexpectedly and thought to himself: "The emperor is making fun of me too much. I am from Wu, and the word 'Fu' is the word 'Zhao' plus the word 'Zi' .

He named my son 'Fu', isn't it called my son's claws?" ——Gao Yi, Song Dynasty, "Living in Groups" I don't know why Ai Zi likes to write poems. One day, Ai Zi wandered between Qi and Wei and stayed at a hotel.

At night, he heard someone talking in the neighboring house: "One song." After a while, he said: "Another one."

Ai Zi was confused and felt no sleepiness at all. , sleepless night. Lying there until dawn, I heard the man in the neighboring house say about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs.

Ai Zi thought that the man in the neighboring room must be a poet. He was concentrating on reciting poems in the quiet moonlit night, and he felt respected in his heart. He also liked the man's quick literary thinking, so he decided to get acquainted with him. Early in the morning, Ai Zi got out of bed, put on her clothes, straightened her crown and belt, and stood at the door to greet her.

After a while, a man who looked like a vendor walked out of the neighboring house. He was thin and looked sick. Ai Zi felt very disappointed and thought: With this dignity, how can he look like a poet? Perhaps, people cannot be judged by their appearance or make blind guesses.

Then he stepped forward and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has many poems. Can you let me read them as a student?" The man said, "I am a businessman and I have never known what poetry is." Stuff."

Always refused to come up with poems. Ai Zi said stubbornly: "Last night I heard you saying 'One' in the house, and then saying 'One' again. Isn't that a poem?" After hearing this, the man burst into laughter: "You misunderstood La.

My stomach was not good last night. Every time I had diarrhea, I couldn’t find toilet paper, so I kept having diarrhea and stained my hands six or seven times.

The 'hand' I mentioned was not the 'head' of the poem." Ai Zi felt ashamed after hearing this.

——Old Title of "Ai Zi Miscellanies" by Su Shi of the Song Dynasty Word Game Su Dongpo heard that Wang Jinggong's "Words" had just been completed, so he went to Jinggong to congratulate him, and jokingly said: "The masterpiece says: With 'Bamboo' whips 'horse' as 'Du'.

But I still have a question: "I don't know how to use 'bamboo' to whip' dogs, so what's so 'laughable'?" Duke Jing laughed and didn't answer, but asked instead: "The word 'dove' means 'jiu' Cong." Birds, is there any evidence?" Dongpo immediately replied: "The Book of Songs says: 'The dead dove is in the mulberry tree, and its sons are seven.' Including their parents, there are exactly nine." 6. Classical Chinese. Do you have any jokes that went wrong during translation?

When reading "The Donkey of Guizhou", students were asked to translate the sentence "The donkey is so angry that it hoofs it". A classmate named Ye also made an interesting joke by translating it as "The donkey couldn't win the race and was very angry and complained about the hooves." In fact, in this sentence, "win" means "endure". When reading the first sound, "anger" can be understood as "getting angry", "hooves" can be understood as "kicking with feet", and "zhi" represents "Tiger", the correct translation is "The donkey couldn't help but get angry and kicked the tiger with its feet"

If some ancient and modern meanings in classical Chinese translation are misunderstood, it will make a joke, such as Tao Yuanming's "Return" In "Xi Ci", "If you understand the past, you can't admonish it; if you know what's coming, you can pursue it." Some students will incorrectly translate it as: "I won't send invitations to people who knew me before, but people in the future can still pursue me." ." The correct understanding should be "Realize that there is no need to save the past mistakes, and know that you can still work hard to do things well in the years to come to prevent regrets from happening again."

In "Zhu Zhiwu Retreats the Qin Army", "I couldn't have used you earlier. It's my fault to ask for a son now because I'm in a hurry." The correct translation is: "I couldn't have used you earlier. The matter is urgent now." It’s my fault that I came to beg you later.” If it were translated as: “It’s my fault that I couldn’t have appointed my son earlier, and now I’m in a hurry to have a son.” That would be a joke.

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