Are there any jokes caused by homophonic Chinese characters?

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: rabbit, shrimp, pig tail! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! After the county magistrate finished, the host said: Sausage pickles, please! Now, please talk to the township head! The township head said: Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk! Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens. The tenant rented his field, but he had to be given a chicken first.

A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, and after paying the rent, he told the landlord about renting the land for the next year. He insisted that his hands were empty, opened his eyes and said, "There are no three kinds of land." Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

As soon as the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his tune and said, "If you don't give it to Zhang San, who will you give it to?"

Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so quickly!"

The landlord replied, "That sentence just now was' nonsense', and now it is said by accident."

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to hang up, he said to the master, "buy me two bamboo poles."

Inquired that the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect was "pig liver", and quickly agreed, ran to the butcher's shop and said, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pig liver. You are a clever man.

You should know it! "

The shopkeeper, a clever man, immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and presented a pair of pig ears.

Out of the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and this pig ear is of course mine …" So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Go back to the county government and report to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought pig liver!" "

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and quickly replied, "Ear … Ear … here … in my … pocket!" "

A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wants to go there by plane. Afraid that the manager wouldn't agree to the reimbursement, he sent a telegram to the manager: "Take it when you have the chance, or don't take it." The manager received the telegram and thought it was an "opportunity" to close the deal. He immediately called back: "Seize the opportunity."

The salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, and the manager refused to reimburse the air ticket expenses on the grounds that he was not qualified to fly. The salesman took out his manager's call back and the manager was dumbfounded.

On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more formal.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is from Myanmar, so he is shy." Then raise your glass to toast everyone, raise your head and drink it off, and then say, "I'm from Yangon."

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management. He said, "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong; Not an official! "

A patient with liver disease is drinking in his room. The nurse came in and shouted, sweetheart (telling his sweetheart).

At this time, the patient shouted: I know, little baby.

In a busy market, a fish seller shouted, "fresh fish!" " "At this moment, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted:" bubble gum! The fish seller said to the sugar seller, "hey, why did you say my fish was ruined?" "They are more noisy more fierce. Just then, a seller of bean sprouts shouted again: "bean sprouts!" " A security guard came up and asked, "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted "avocado!" After listening to this, the security guard said, "All right, take the four of you together! " ……

1935 At the beginning of May, Chiang Kai-shek fought with Feng Yuxiang and Yan Xishan in the Central Plains. Feng Yuxiang and Yan Xishan agreed that the two armies would meet in Qinyang, northern Henan, to concentrate their forces on annihilating Chiang Kai-shek stationed in Henan. Unfortunately, when drawing up the operational order, one of Feng Yuxiang's operational staff wrote the word "Qin" for "Qinyang" and changed it into "Biyang". It happens that there is Biyang in the south of Henan, but it is thousands of miles away from Qinyang. Feng Yuxiang's troops were ordered to rush to Biyang. As a result, the fighter plane was delayed and the favorable opportunity to annihilate Chiang Kai-shek was missed, so that Chiang Kai-shek gained the initiative. During the Central Plains War for half a year, the allied forces of Feng and Yan were passively beaten everywhere. The word difference eventually led to the complete failure of the allied forces of Feng and Yan in the battlefield of the Central Plains.

I say you are a pig, and you say: I am a pig. From then on, I will call you "pig head monster"! Finally one day, you can't help shouting at everyone: I'm not a pig!