Who told me the funniest joke?

Mother: "Xiao Wang wrote you a letter and used a thick stack of writing paper." believe

Say what? "

Daughter: "Say he loves me."

What to see

Woman: "What are you looking at?"

Man: "Your eyes."

Woman: "It seems more than once."

Man: "Do you know why?"

Woman: (with a charming smile) …

Man: "Because you have me in your eyes!" " "

In the eyes of lovers

A girl is gentle and affectionate. The boyfriend she met.

Be honest and do things in an orderly way.

One day, he said to the girl matter-of-factly, "Our feelings are already very close."

Yes, but I still hope you can open your eyes again and see what else I have.

Yao's shortcomings, lest you regret it. "

The girl replied, "Oh, I can't see clearly now."

Very special

Woman: "What do you think is cute about me?"

Man: "You are special."

Woman: "How special?"

Man: "Of all the men in the world, you only love me!" " "

God loves you.

Moonlight night, in the park.

Girl: "No woman is more unfortunate than me, and no one loves me."

Young man: "But there are people who love you very much."

Girl: "Ah, who is it?" Hold the young man's hand at the same time.

Young man: "God!"

lags in response

On the park bench, a pair of lovers snuggled up.

The man asked, "May I kiss you?"

The woman did not answer.

The man asked again, "Can you let me kiss you?"

The woman still doesn't answer.

The man is angry: "Hey, are you deaf?" "

The woman cried and said, "Are you dead?"

see you again

Man: "honey, you must write to me as soon as possible, the sooner the better."

Otherwise, I will be anxious to death. "

Woman: "Don't worry, dear, I put the letter away yesterday to comfort you."

It's written. "

Want to stay in one place

"Dear Abe, I am forty-four years old this year. I was thinking if I could

I met a man about my age who didn't have any bad hobbies.

All right. "

"Dear Affin, I was thinking the same thing."

The airport is more beautiful.

At the party, a beautiful girl hung a model plane on her chest.

T-shaped pendant

An air force officer praised this and stared at it.

Seeing the girl a little embarrassed, I asked him, "What do you think?

Is my little plane beautiful? "

"The small plane is really beautiful, but the airport is more beautiful!"

Anxious

A young girl blushed with shame and handed a telegram.

Dispatcher, the telegram was sent to a soldier. It only

There is a word "line".

"You can send ten words for the same money." Well-meaning reporter

Suggestions.

"I know." She replied, and at the same time, she immediately asked, "If I

Say the word "good" ten times, don't you think I'm too eager? "

The first love story

A first-love young man hugged the girl tightly and said, "I know you too well."

Happiness, you are my third wheel in the dark ... "

The girl gave the boy a push and said, "Go, you stay away from me."

"Why?" Young people are at a loss.

The girl said, "Be careful of getting an electric shock."

No need for lights

Young men and women in a certain country have found an ideal place to fall in love.

There is no need to worry about police intervention and no need to spend more money. This place is teaching.

Don. However, in this way, it has caused great trouble to the priests in the church.

So a priest put up a notice at the church gate, which read:

"The church lights out at ten o'clock in the evening."

However, the people who fell in love in church the next night were still very

A lot. The priest didn't know why, but he saw a small print on the notice:

"Thank you, we don't need a lamp."

Write a love letter

Xiao Zhao and Xiao Wang were introduced by me. After meeting, they were deeply impressed.

Not bad. A few days later, Xiao Zhao wanted to write a love letter to Xiao Wang, but she didn't know how to write it.

At some point, he went to me for advice. I said, "What's so hard? I'll call you. "

A draft! "

Xiao Zhao made a copy of the love letter I drafted.

A copy was given to Xiao Wang.

Xiao Wang received the letter and showed it to me happily: "Xiao.

Zhao wrote. I want to answer him. I don't know what to say. "

Lao Sun said, "Why is it difficult? I will also give you a draft! "

Why take the risk?

A man took his girlfriend for a ride. To show courage

With his driving skills, he increased the speed to 60 kilometers per hour. no

Be careful, the car hit a big tree at the corner and the body was hit four times.

I broke up, but fortunately neither of them was injured in the car. that person

Hug your girlfriend quickly and comfort her not to be afraid. Girlfriend is very affectionate.

In his arms, he said in a sincere and sorry tone, "Why did you take the risk?"

What about the risks? In fact, as long as you pretend that the gasoline is used up and the car can't move, I can do it.

I'll let you kiss me. "

Member of the Animal Protection Association

Woman: "You are as cunning as a fox!" " "

Man: "Then why are you still with me?"

Woman: "I am a member of the Animal Protection Association."

Astronomy class

A young man met a girl in the park. The year of birth.

The son said, "You are my sun, my moon, and you are the shining hair in the Milky Way."

Star of light ... "

Girl: "Are you trying to please me or give me astronomy?"

Class? "

Jade people are like geese.

A young man wrote to his girlfriend and said, "Dear Miss,

Before Christmas, you received a goose from the trustee. Thank you very much this

Goose is lovely. I saw it, just like I saw you ... "

Professional love letter

Anne's fiance wrote. The letter said, "Honey, I'm not.

I often miss you! Your thick blonde curls and big light blue eyes.

Eyes, high cheekbones, the scar on your right hand, you are 1.65 meters tall.

Height, everything about you, always comes to my eyes ... "

Annie's girlfriend read the letter and said, "This is really a rare letter.

Love letter! What does your fiance do? "

"He works in the police station and writes about looking for you."

Please.

A couple get together and only hear a woman's voice:

"ah! Please don't kiss me ... "

"ah! Please don't kiss ... "

"ah! Please don't ... "

"ah! Please don't ... "

"ah! Please ... "

"ah! Please ... "

Mi Yue

A couple strolled before the flowers and under the moon.

Man: "What can be more beautiful than this Mid-Autumn Moon?"

Woman: "It was just a honeymoon."

Insects as vectors

A couple spent a lot of time together and couldn't bear to leave. different

Yes, they are tickled by mosquitoes.

The woman said, "honey, it's time to go." Don't feed mosquitoes here any more. "

Yes "

"Never mind, dear, we should thank mosquitoes, which make us feel fresh.

Blood mixed together. "

souvenir

A soldier visited his family and returned to his lover.

"I can't help it, dear. I'll be back soon. This is from me.

Your souvenir, to express my true feelings for you, I hope you can

Think of me when you see it. "

"oh! Honey, "the girl is breathless with excitement," see what you want.

How considerate and cute this little monkey is! So much like you! "

Private conversation

In the cinema, a middle-aged audience sat behind a couple, so

Two people have been talking to him, and the middle-aged audience can hardly hear him on the screen.

The voice.

"Hey, I can't hear you!" The middle-aged audience couldn't bear it, and finally,

Turn around and say angrily.

"This is a private conversation, what are you listening to!"

No more swearing

A couple are talking.

Girl: "Why do you always swear?"

Young man: "believe me, if I want to swear again, it will be forever."

Never see you again. "

Kiss "chastity"

Man: "Why do you always close your eyes when I kiss you?"

Eyes? "

Woman: "It means I didn't see it."

put up a front/facade

Answer: "Lend me some books from your family, thick and hardcover."

B: "Why?"

A: "My girlfriend came to my house for the first time today."

Reasons for liking

The mother is talking with her son about his girlfriend. Mother asked, "What is she doing?"

What likes you? "

"It's very simple," the son said modestly. "She thinks I'm handsome and capable.

Dry, smart, interesting ... "

"Then why do you like her?"

"I just like that she thinks I'm handsome, capable, smart and funny."

Yuan Huan

A: "I was introduced to a blind date ten times in a row and finally met one."

Destiny takes a hand. "

B: "decree by destiny? How to say it? "

A: "He is my first blind date."

appointment

Young man: "that's too bad. I promised you tomorrow night the night before." "

Dating. Why did you come tonight? "

Girl: "honey, I didn't miss it, because you let it go after zero."

Complete this sentence. "

Go home and get pajamas

One day, a young man went to his girlfriend's house to play and got up when he left.

It rained heavily, so his girlfriend advised him to stay for the night, and then she went to prepare the bedding. wait for

When she was ready to go out, her boyfriend had already left. More than an hour.

Later, the whole body was drenched like a wet boy, and his

The girlfriend was surprised and asked, "Where have you been?"

The young man panted and replied, "I ... I'll go home and get it."

I'll change my pajamas. "

Such a date

A shy young man told his mother that he was going to the same aunt.

Mom's date.

Half an hour later, he came back.

Mom asked, "How's it going?"

"Very smooth."

"Have you seen her?"

"Of course," he giggled, "but what if?

If I don't hide behind the big tree, she will see me, too. "

Why don't you go home?

"Before getting on the bus, I want you to know that I am not a dissolute woman. because

So, don't try to hold my hand or kiss me after getting on the bus. My words

Is that clear enough? "A young girl warned her boyfriend.

"yes."

"Now that we have made it clear, please drive. Where are we going?

Going? "

"Go home."

Skills of writing love letters

A man in his forties chased a girl in his twenties.

After begging for a long time, I wrote her a letter. At last he said, "Dear!

Honey, make up your mind quickly. If you drag on like this, I will delay your youth.

Spring. "

first impression

The introducer smoked a cigarette and then asked, "Girl, what do you think of that?"

What was the man's first impression? "

Girl: "He talks like you smoke."

Introducer: "Natural, chic?"

Girl: "No, speak hesitatingly."

Dark indication

An old maid said to her new boyfriend, "I had a dream last night."

See you propose to me. "

"How to express it?"

"I accept your proposal."

Spend too much energy

A beautiful young woman asked a fireman, "What do you want to save?"

I must have worked hard when I was in danger, didn't I? "

The fireman said, "Isn't it? I once beat three firemen,

They all want to save you. "

take a risk

A young man walked behind a girl and covered her eyes with his hand.

The eyes said, "If you can't guess who I am, let me kiss you. quick

Say three names! "

"Louis XVI? ..... wrong? Victor hugo? ..... take it.

Broken LUN? Still wrong? Then you win! "

love

Woman: "I love you."

Man: "Didn't you say you didn't love me last time?"

Woman: "Cough! You are so stupid. We girls say no, actually.

I really like it. "

Man: "Oh! Then you don't love me now. "

Attach importance to first love

One day, Xiao Liu enthusiastically asked his girlfriend, "Dear, I am the first."

A man who loves you? "

"Of course," the girlfriend replied unhappily, "I really don't understand, do you?

Why do men always ask this question? "

Suddenly grown up

Ah lui's fiance came on a blind date to give gifts, and her mother said:

"My daughter is still young, let's have another year or two!"

Dong was very unhappy and quickly lay down in his brother's cradle.

Mom saw it and said, "You have grown up, are you still lying in the cradle?"

Aunt said, "Did I suddenly grow up?"

Don't have "intention"

A man visits his girlfriend's house in the evening. Meet your girlfriend's parents.

Form, excuse to go out together and let them fall in love.

When the family is quiet, the man whispers to his girlfriend, "Dear, you!" "

Mind if I turn off the light in the hallway outside? "

"No." She answered in a low voice. So the man turned off the light in the corridor.

Lamp "

"Do you mind if I turn off the light in the room again?"

"No." She said shyly. So the man closed the house again.

Lights in the room.

"Honey, shall I turn off the light on the table?" man

Asked in a low voice full of joy.

"ok." Girlfriend's head is buried lower.

When the darkness enveloped, the man proudly said, "honey, look."

Look at the luminous watch in my hand. Do you think it's worth 20 thousand yuan? "

A year later.

In order to win the favor of his girlfriend, Xiao Li specially went to China Theatre to buy two tickets.

Theater tickets. After watching the first act, the subtitles were printed on the stage: "Act II-1.

Many years later. When Xiao Li saw it, he picked up his girlfriend and left. My girlfriend is puzzled. small

Li said, "What are you still doing? We will be back in a year. " girlfriend

Laughing and crying, he broke free from his hand and said, "Well, you go first, and I'll see you in a year."

Goodbye! "

Watch it for a while.

A young man went to visit his girlfriend at her house. Girlfriend parents deliberately avoided.

Open, let them fall in love alone in the living room. When they kissed,

Later, the young man found his girlfriend's little sister standing at the door watching curiously.

Look at that.

"Little sister, you go to sleep. I'll give you a silver dollar." The year of birth.

Zi said.

My little sister ran away without asking for money. After a while,

She came back and said, "I have a silver dollar. Let me watch it for a while. "

Please remember.

Girl: "Don't call me again tonight, you called four last night."

Time! "

Young man: "All right. Please remember: if the phone doesn't ring, it's me! "

I will give you my heart.

Woman: "honey, I heard that you have been absent-minded at work recently and your output is high."

Falling sharply, where is your heart? "

Man: "That's strange. Last time we dated, didn't you ask me to put

Did you give your heart? "

it doesn't matter

Man: "Alas, the powder on your face is almost on my coat."

Woman: "Never mind, I have a lot of powder in my compact."

appointment time

A: "Why do you always meet your girlfriend after 9 pm?

Really like the writer said, "Love needs darkness ..."

B: "No, it's just that all the shops in the street are closed after nine o'clock."

Doors. "

I can't marry you

Dr Mao proposed to Miss Zhu, a nurse: "Dear Miss Zhu, get married.

Give it to me, and we will be happy. "

"This is absolutely impossible!" Miss Zhu refused, "I am someone else.

You can marry, but you can't marry a man named Mao "

Dr. Mao was surprised and asked her, "What does this mean?"

"Your name is Mao, my name is Zhu. I married you and had a baby. Why not?

Are bamboo shoots (raw)? "

That makes two of us.

An old lady was watching a movie when a couple of lovers sat in front of her.

Too affectionate, she see not pleasing to the eye, patted the young man on the shoulder and said:

"This is a public place. Don't you have anywhere else to go? "

The young man turned to her and said, "Ah! Boss, can you persuade her to come with me?

Let's go. "

Cool and fast

A man's personality is very straightforward.

One day, he was introduced to a female scholar's house for blind date. Just chatting for a while.

Son, he can't wait to ask, "Do you agree or disagree? Agree with us

Get married, or we'll divorce! "

Use sb.' s tricks against him

A young man who is reluctant to spend money because he met his girlfriend for the first time.

The family didn't want to spend money, so they thought of a plan.

As soon as he entered his girlfriend's house, the young man said with a bitter face, "Today is too bad."

Yes, I bought a new watch. I wanted to give it to you, but I was caught on the bus.

Pickpockets stole it. "After listening to this, his girlfriend is very grateful to him, just a pity.

He said, "Be careful in the future!" The young man immediately replied, "Of course,

Sure! Pickpockets are really hateful! Next time I come, I won't bring anything to watch you steal it.

What? "

Cold-blooded/warm-blooded animals

A couple quarreled over a trifle. When the man came home, he immediately wrote.

A letter. The woman's address is written on the top of the envelope, but the recipient column is

It says "cold-blooded animal collection".

A few days later, the letter was returned. The postman wrote on the envelope:

"There is no such animal in the original site."

Mathematicians fall in love

Mathematicians and their girlfriends are walking in the park. His girlfriend asked him, "I'm full."

You really don't mind freckles on your face? "

The mathematician replied softly, "Absolutely not! I was born young.

Deal with each other at several points. "

Rob relatives

The two families were engaged, and then the woman's family changed and became

Made a fortune. The man is afraid that the woman will stay away from marriage and rob the bride another day, but he doesn't know how to panic.

Wrong sister-in-law in chaos Woman heard chased out, shouted:

"Grasp the wrong! I caught it wrong! " At this moment, my sister-in-law urged on her back, "Don't!

Listen to him! Good, good, run! "

Malone's worry

Malone was scheduled to arrive in Beirut, the capital of Lebanon, within seven hours.

After the wedding, but he wants to fly from Cairo to Beirut.

It was getting late, and he was fidgeting at Cairo airport, so he made a fortune.

A telegram like this was sent to his fiancee:

"The plane to Beirut is late. Please before I arrive.

Do not get married. "

Ideal lover

A girl is chatting with her girlfriend. She said, "If my two

It's good to combine the advantages of lovers-Xiao Zhao is rich, handsome and handsome.

Harmonic wave; Xiao Li wants to marry me. "

Garden philosophy

A young man and a girl are sitting on the grass.

The young man drew a circle on the ground with his finger and said, "My love for you,

Just like this cycle, it will never end. "

"My love for you, like this circle, has no starting point!" Father's sister

Mother said coldly.

Wonderful love letter

A pair of lovers were arty in communication and used words indiscriminately, resulting in a row.

There is a big joke.

The man wrote, "honey, I don't think we met not long ago."

But now I have turned a blind eye ... "The woman replied," Dear, you

That's good. I not only turn a blind eye to you, but also look at you coldly.

Lee! "

Cleverly juggle

In the corner of the park, a young man wants to kiss his girlfriend.

But the woman pushed him away and said, "No, I can't do this before I get married."

Do it! "

"So, I'll leave you my phone number, please contact after marriage.

Let me know. "