Girls laugh at boys for being shit. What do you mean?

Super funny joke

1. Ghost: God, next time I want to be as white as an angel with wings, but I still want to suck blood.

God: Then reincarnate as a nurse.

2. A part-time friend, working part-time in the park for the first time, was embarrassed to shout. Suddenly someone shouted "Popsicle ~ ~ ~ Popsicle ~ ~". Hearing this, my friend shouted happily, "Me too ~ ~ Me too ~ ~".

Ants and elephants died soon after they got married. While burying the elephant, the ant wept bitterly: "Dear, why did you leave so early?" I will bury you if I don't do anything else in my life! " "

Your boy has a crush on a girl, so you have the courage to ask her what kind of boy she likes.

"Like-minded" girls answered, and even asked several times, it was the same answer.

The boy was very discouraged and said, "Can you have a flat head?" .

One day, I was out of breath to catch the last bus and shouted:! Wait for me ~

Suddenly a passenger poked his head out of the window and said to me slowly, Wukong, stop chasing.

6. One day I had a physical examination, and one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by looking at its legs. A student really couldn't understand it, so he tore up the paper in a rage and was ready to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him, "What class are you in? What's your name? " A student lifted his trousers and said, "Guess, guess."

7. After the performance of the beautiful Mongolian actress, the leader came to the stage to receive her, and then her hand asked her if she was cold or warm. She refused to let go for a long time and kindly asked, What's your name? The actress replied excitedly, "Maragobi Matsumoto".

8. A man bought a parrot that can only speak two words. One day, when the master was not at home, a ventilator knocked at the door.

Parrot: Who is it?

A: Gas converter.

Parrot: Who is it?

A: Gas converter.

……

There is a man lying in front of his master's house. The master wondered, who is this?

Inside the door: gas converter

9. A person saw a pile of things on the road, squatted down and smelled it, said it might be poop, touched it with his hand and licked it in his mouth. It was really poop, but fortunately he didn't step on it! ~

10. Ask the patient how he broke his bone. A: I thought there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole, and I shook them ... A man thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two.

1 1. A professor is giving a lecture on the spot: "Don't be afraid of being dirty in scientific research. . . "Then he squatted down, poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger, and then put his finger in his mouth and licked it clean. A classmate quickly said, "I'm not afraid of being dirty." . . "Then I poked the cow dung on the ground with my finger and licked it in my mouth. Professor: "Besides, I should be good at observation. I just poked dung with my middle finger, but I licked my index finger. . . "

12. In a public toilet, Mr. A was constipated and couldn't pull it out for a long time. Then another man, Mr. B, rushed in, just squatted down and pulled happily. After listening, Mr. A said, "Dude, I really envy you. You are so happy." Mr. B said, "What is there to envy? I haven't taken off my pants yet ... "

13. A gentleman was practicing riding a bike when there was a pedestrian in front. A gentleman panicked and shouted:&; Uot, stop. Stop. & uot The pedestrians stopped in a daze. But a gentleman rode so badly that he knocked down a pedestrian. Pedestrians get up and get angry:&; Uot, you told me to stop! Hello, aim! & ampuot

14. Beautiful sister, 2 years old. One day, I called her mother and the little guy answered. Out of courtesy, I also want to say hello to her. "Honey, where's mom?" "Go to Huaguoshan!" "..." "Honey, what are you doing?" "Aunt, you are so funny, I won't hit you!"

My colleague's son, 4 years old. A classic saying: "When I was young ..."

15. There was an accident on the expressway-the tortoise trampled the cow to death. The snail who is investigating the cause of the accident said, How did the tortoise hit you? The lying cow in plaster recalled sadly: I don't remember, he was too fast!

16. A polar bear stayed in a daze on the ice. When he was really bored, he began to pull out his own hair, one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ... one ..........

17. My colleague's daughter is a little beauty embryo. When she comes back from kindergarten, her mother often asks her, "Beauty, did anyone call you that today?" The little girl sighed: "I guess they see me too much, so they think I'm not beautiful."

18. A couple gave birth to a little boy after contraceptive failure. The child clenched his fist and kept laughing. The nurse broke his fist and found birth control pills in it. Then the little boy said, "You two want to kill me, it's not that easy, hahahaha ..."

19. Two people went to the mountain to play. A man accidentally slipped off a cliff. His companion shouted anxiously, "how are you, brother?" Are you all right? " I only heard the person who fell answer "I don't know, I'm still falling ~ ~ ~".

20. I also thought of a man riding a bicycle, who had no handlebar and put his hands on his chest. A traffic policeman saw it and said, Good palms! The man replied, hello, comrades!

2 1. The monkey asked the fox how to describe the elephant's fart with a song. The fox said: Ku Kuiji's Ant said: "Fuck, I thought it was a power train." : when > yes. "

22. The two brothers were chased by the tiger, and the younger brother really couldn't run, so he said, "Brother, let's stop running and kill this beast." The eldest brother said, "Don't talk nonsense, I can't run, just run past you."

23. Noodles were beaten by steamed bread. I asked my cousin for instant noodles for revenge. When I saw the bean bag, the instant noodles were beaten to pieces. When I came back, I said to the noodles, don't worry, I beat the shit out of it.

24. A fashionable woman got on the bus and saw that the seat was empty, so she took out a tissue and wiped it for a while. She was just about to sit down and fart. A man next to him said with a smile, "I'm Kao Hua, clean, and I have to blow after wiping."

Penguins are bored, so they want to go to the North Pole to play with polar bears.

Walking, walking for many years, almost there, suddenly remembered that the gas at home was not turned off properly.

So I went back, walked for many years, turned off the gas, set off again, and walked for many years.

Very not easy to come to the door of the polar bear, knocking at the door:

-Polar bear! Come out and play!

Polar bear:

-Stop playing.

26. In junior high school, a math teacher talked about equation transformation. On the podium, he rolled up his sleeves and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change! ……

27. A judge squinted and tried three suspects, A, B and C, in one day.

The judge said to A, "Did you steal it?"

A: "No"

The judge was furious: "I didn't ask you."

"I didn't say anything either," C said.

28. On the plane, the crow said to the stewardess:&; Uot give me a glass of water &; After uot listened, the pig said to the stewardess. Uot, give me a glass of water, too After hearing this, the flight attendant uot threw the crow and pig out of the plane. The crow smiled and said to the pig:&; Uot, are you stupid? I can fly ~ ~ ~

29. A rabbit walks into a shop and asks the boss, Do you have any carrots here? The wife said: no, after a while, the rabbit asked again, do you have any carrots here? The boss impatiently said no! After a while, the rabbit asked again, and the boss finally said, if you make trouble again, I will cut off your ears with scissors!

After a while, the rabbit came again: Do you have scissors here? The boss said: No. The rabbit asked again, Do you have any carrots here? ...

30. The devil caught the princess.

The devil said: you can shout your throat out, and no one will come to save you!

Princess: Break your throat, break your throat!

Nobody: Princess, I'm coming to save you!

Devil: Speak of the devil!

Cao Cao: Devil, what's your name?

Devil: Wow, I saw a ghost!

Ghost: Shit! Someone found out.

Shit: Nonsense, who found me?

Who: It's none of my business!

Devil: Oh, my God!

God: Who called me? !

Who: Nobody called you!

Nobody: I didn't! ! !

It is said that the devil has suffered from mental illness since then.

3 1. A king wanted to marry a princess and put an apple on her head. Whoever wants to shoot will have a chance to marry the princess.

The first man shot the apple and said, "I'm Robin."

The second man also shot the apple. He said, "I am Hou Yi."

The third man accidentally shot the princess. He said, "I'm sorry ...&; uot

32. Someone was practicing in a mental hospital, and suddenly a psycho came after him with a kitchen knife. The man turned his head and ran until he reached a dead end, thinking it was over. The patient said, here's the knife. It's your turn to chase me.

33. The wolf is just lovelorn. When he was foraging, he passed a hut and heard a man lecturing his children: "If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolves. The child cried in the house all night, and the wolf stayed outside all night. When I got up in the morning, the wolf choked and said, men, men are liars! ! !