Q: Three-person sketch (2 males/kloc-0 females). Short and funny, only three days of rehearsal time, please help provide some jokes, thank you!

Man: A: Pig breeder.

B: the section chief's wife

C: restaurant staff

[C is cleaning the restaurant, B]

My husband is in bad karma. ...

C: What's the matter?

B: Although my section chief is very big, he failed to hold his ground when he was with your boss yesterday.

He died unfortunately last night. Woo hoo. .....

C: Don't cry, don't cry,

You must testify for me. You must prove to me that if you die in the line of duty, you must ratify the martyr.

C: OK! I'll help you find the evidence.

[C down, A up]

A: (monologue) My pig is unlucky, too. If you eat some swill in this restaurant, you will get drunk.

[See B crying, come forward to comfort]

What's the matter with you?

My drunk ... I'm so unlucky ...

You are drunk, too, alas! The food in this restaurant is inedible. I died there, too

Yours is dead, too. You have to testify for me! Either other diseases, or drunk to death.

A: Of course not! I have never been sick there.

Yes, mine has never been sick either. It's drunk. I want the restaurant to prove it.

A: I also want the restaurant to issue a certificate. I'm so drunk.

B: That's right. I must make them recognize the martyrs.

[a question]

A: Oh, my request is not high, as long as I agree to slaughter.

What, you're going to slaughter your lover?

A: No! It is my pig. Why? Your lover is dead.

[crying]

I'm so unlucky ... I'm so unlucky. ...

A: Sorry! I'm sorry! I misunderstood

[on c]

A: Comrade, my pig is drunk to death. Give me a certificate quickly, or it will stink.

C: Ouch! There's only one left

B: Give it to me.

Give it to me.

How can your pig argue with our section chief?

A: Your section chief is dead anyway. My pig can still contribute to society, and it will stink if it is late.

B: You ... Boo-hoo.

C: Don't cry, don't cry. Let me give you an idea. Let's write it on a piece of paper. Go ahead.

[c starts writing]

C: Here we are.

B: A real section chief surnamed Jia.

A mouthful of fat pig

B: Come to your restaurant for dinner.

A: Eat a big bucket of swill.

B: Unfortunately, he died in the line of duty.

A: I really drank too much, not swine fever.

We should ratify the martyrs.

A: Agree to slaughter.

C: OK, I'll read it again.

[Read aloud]

I have a real section chief named Jia and a fat pig; Come to my restaurant for dinner and eat a big bucket of swill;

Unfortunately, he died in the line of duty, and he was really drunk, not swine fever; Martyrs should be ratified and slaughtered.